Eckhart Tolle explains how constant irritation comes from resisting what is happening. By accepting the present moment as it is, without argument, you stop feeding the ego's reactivity. Acceptance doesn't mean passivity; it lets you respond wisely instead of react from habit.
How do we get to the point where we are not controlled by the ego but handle every situation— positive, negative, good, bad, easy, hard— with wisdom and grace? Return your attention to the present moment continuously. Look at What is now? So that problems don't proliferate in your mind. Bring it back to what is now? What's the situation now? Is there anything I can do? But before you do anything, become friendly with the present moment. That in itself is the beginning of the end of the ego. Become friendly with the present moment. Align yourself to it so that you don't have an argument with the is-ness of life. Can you imagine the insanity of arguing with what is? But it shouldn't be. But it is. But it shouldn't be. But it is. But of course, the moment you say it shouldn't be, this shouldn't be happening, he shouldn't behave like that, they should have done that, but of course they didn't, many things should have happened, this, I shouldn't have to do this, I'm doing it, but I shouldn't have to do this, but I'm doing it, what a horrible way to live. So should the arguing with the is-ness of life, that's a form of insanity, but it's normal? Often in the past I've said normal equals insane. It's a slight— but it's still basically true. So you come to an acceptance of whatever arises in your experience. Accept your experience of this moment. Don't argue with your experience of this moment. Accept that this is what you might experience. Irritation. Now, if you experience irritation about something that's happening at this moment, That means initially you were not, you were not totally aligned with the present moment. There was something in you that reacted. A thought probably would come in, why is this? They should, they should know better. Why do they keep people waiting here? Why do they— irritation arises. And so then irritation becomes your experience of this moment. So you missed your first chance. Of immediately accepting the is-ness of this moment, the situation you are in. Accepting doesn't mean you cannot take action. It means the basis for everything is sometimes action is necessary or possible, but let the action come out of a prior oneness with the present moment so that the action is not reactive but is a response. An intelligent, wise response to the situation, not coming out of the conditioning of your mind.
Thank you.
Why alcohol feels like relief, and what it is really giving you | Eckhart Tolle
