Is the Process of Awakening a Consequence of Suffering? | Q&A Eckhart Tolle

Well, first I have to say, you are so very cute.

Oh, thank you.

And then also, as I told Kim in the morning, I so wanted you two to come to China.

Oh, yes. I want to go too.

Okay. Okay, let's go.

I have been to Hong Kong. A couple of the done retreats in Hong Kong, but not for some years. Mainland China. Do you think they would be okay with me? I mean, the government. The government.

The government should be okay. You haven't done anything terribly wrong there before, right?

No.

So it should be okay because you're already so very popular in China. Your books are very widely read.

Yeah.

And so many of my friends in the spiritual community, or even outside of this community, everybody just tells me how much they are expecting your visit.

Oh, okay. Well, thank you. I will come.

Oh, that's great. That's great. Oh, here finally comes my question.

Yeah.

Okay. So how can we truly accept and surrender and be present without having to go through a lot of sufferings or intense sufferings to the point that you have no other choice but to give up your ego? And for instance, when I hear certain statements like you must not reject your rejection, or you must not judge your judgments, or that make me feel even more painful because that's exactly what I'm doing. So sometimes, most of the times, I am aware that I'm judging this or that. But how to proceed further, to really accept, but not just accepting in my mind.

Ah, yes, yes. Now, as you mentioned, it is true that for some people. Some people are forced into surrender because they cannot stand the suffering anymore. And sometimes life does that to you, to a person. So the suffering becomes so intense. That was the case with me. Suffering became so intense I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't stand myself anymore. On some level, there must have been a realization that I was generating the suffering. I didn't really consciously know that, but I could not live with myself anymore, as that was the phrase that came into my head before I disidentified from the egoic self the mind made unhappy me. And then there are those people who are sufficiently conscious, like all of you here, yet they are sufficiently conscious to be able to surrender or accept voluntarily without being forced into it by life. So it's a voluntary decision to come to an acceptance of what arises in this moment. But the acceptance needs to be deep enough so that it's not just on a conceptual level, but also on a deeper level. So the emotional level, for example. Otherwise you would be lying to yourself when you say, let's say you are in a situation that generates irritation in you. Let's say a relatively small situation, there's a long delay. Somewhere you're waiting for something, there's a long delay. You can find irritation beginning to build up. At some point you realize that irritation is beginning to build up. Then your mind says, I need to surrender. I should surrender to this situation. I need to accept it the way it is, okay? And then your mind says, okay, I accept this situation the way it is. The question is, does it remain a statement in the mind? Because the true acceptance needs to go into every cell of your body. You need to be in touch. This is why as a practice body awareness is very helpful when you are not being challenged. Just as a to feel the inner body so that habitually you are able to place attention into the inner energy field of your body, which also helps you to know what's going on in the emotional field of your body. So let's say you get. You're irritated at the airport, the flight is cancelled. Now you're lining up hypothetical situation. Many situations like that all the time your flight is cancer. Now you're lining up again to book another, get on another flight. But there's 20 people ahead of you. Here in China they're often. The airline industry is not very long waiting periods and people get very upset at airports because they have to wait a long time. They suddenly start shouting, can't take anymore. So I accept this moment as it is. And then you need to detect within yourself whether you have really accepted it. Because are you still feeling irritated or not to be able to know if you're irritated or not? You need to know both whether your mind is continuing to produce thoughts of irritation. And maybe it is not because you have mentally decided you're not going to have any more. But in the emotional field, you may still be angry and irritated. So your attention needs to move into the body so that you're aware. Is there still irritation in here while my mind is saying I completely accept this moment? Or you could say another example of that would be I forgive you, I forgive you. But there's something in you that hasn't forgiven. So you have forgiven on a superficial mental level. So you need to get your attention in there to actually feel what is not only what your mind is saying at this moment. What does it feel like to be in this moment? What is the feeling of it? And that will tell you when you ask what's the feeling of this moment that directs your attention into the body. And then you notice whether there is still, or whether there is a contraction still. And if there is, you can notice it. You say, oh, there is still irritation there. And then what you can do, for example, is accept whatever you feel. Acceptance surprisingly changes it Most is the greatest agent for change, accepting whatever you feel. Because whatever you feel is non acceptance. So you bring acceptance into the non acceptance which is in the contraction or the vibrational frequency of anger or irritation. You say, oh, this is. It's okay to feel that. And sometimes it's possible to just drop it too. Sometimes it say, I don't really want that. So you take one or two deep breaths and release it from the body. And then you have released it both mentally. Because the irritation usually starts in the mind. The mind making judgments about the situation you find yourself in. The body then reacts to the judgment and creates an emotion that reflects the mental judgment. So it's always good to start with the mind and realizing, I am not irritated because of this situation. I'm irritated because what your mind is commenting on this situation. It's an enormous insight and that applies to so many instances in your life when you feel any kind of unhappiness seemingly being caused by. By the situation you find yourself in, by people, circumstances and so on. Seemingly caused. But 95% of the unhappiness, to use a generic term, in whatever form it arises. And 95% of the unhappiness is generated surprisingly by your mind. But their mind is saying about the situations that you find yourself in. Once you realize that, you realize that you can be free of that because you don't have to do it. It's the egoic mind, the unconsciousness, the unobserved mind is generating it. That's the first. There you stop. Then you look at the emotion. Then also you have enough consciousness left when it's not continuously absorbed by agitated thought processes. Then you have enough consciousness left to direct it into the body and examine what it is that you feel. So the two levels. So let me know how it goes next time you're at an airport in China, for example, or many. Do you live. What city do you live in?

Shanghai.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's where it's all happening. It must be a very dynamic place, I imagine, and high energy. Everybody's active and doing things. And that's a wonderful place to practice presence. It's ideal. And of course, you're challenged all the time. But Shanghai needs you and people like you who bring consciousness there to bring you there. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks. This mind made sense of self is also much more focused on the negative than the positive. To be free, you awaken to who you are beyond your history and your life situation. Sam.