A talk on why parental criticism sticks and how ego makes it worse. The speaker argues that fighting back or defending yourself keeps the wound alive, and that acceptance, not opposition, actually lets you change.
And sometimes, if you allow, then people change. And sometimes they don't. But they are more likely to change if you bring an acceptance. If you no longer oppose a person who always putting out their old stuff towards you. If you don't, which is her egoic identity is continuously reasserted by her criticism of you. Her criticism of you. She doesn't know that. But her criticism of you asserts her sense of self, her false sense of self. Because every time she criticizes you, she is right. She is so right. And the ego loves nothing better than to be right. Because the more often you are right and the more right you are, the bigger the ego is. You feel more acknowledged in your sense of who you are. That's why she loves criticizing. But of course she doesn't know what she's doing. It's all unconscious. But if you recognize that this is what she's doing, then you realize that's not your mother at all. The true being of your mother is somewhere hiding underneath all that stuff. It's obscured by all the egoic conditioning. It's hiding somewhere there. But you strengthen the egoic patterns by opposing them.
Why alcohol feels like relief, and what it is really giving you | Eckhart Tolle
