Precious Moments of Being Alone | Albert Camus’s “Invincible Summer”

The French writer Albert Camus wrote this one sentence that's the best sentence he ever wrote because. Because it's based on a spiritual realization. And he in the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. And obviously winter and summer are used metaphorically. In the depths of winter, I finally learned. Finally means he spent quite a long time. In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me. Or maybe he said there is in me because that is the timeless. If he didn't say is, he should have said is would have been even better. In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there is in me an invincible summer. And of course, summer refers to the inner state of transcendence, of spaciousness, where a sense of aliveness, a peace, not a an asleep peace, but a vibrantly alive peace emanates. And goodwill, lovingness, a sense of connectedness, all emanates from that transpersonal, to use that word, transcendent perhaps. But it's transpersonal too, because it transcends the person. This was the entire our days here. That's the essence of what this is all about. As you know, the realization of the transcendent dimension within yourself, and so you live your life is then a balance between dealing with things on the personal level, being a person, using the person. It's your form identity. It's fine, you have to honor that also, it has its shortcomings, and you become compassionate with that. My form identity has lots of shortcomings. Not answering emails is only one of them. But those shortcomings, once you connect with the deeper dimension within yourself, they are not seriously dysfunctional anymore, in the sense that they would create suffering for yourself or others. But there are certain idiosyncrasies and things that could be better. And perhaps you can improve on the level of form. There are many things you can do, but if you add something here, you might lose something there, so you're never full. That completion on the level of form is just not possible and not necessary. And there's always something else you can do to explore, to acquire, to learn. And yet the essence of you is already absolutely complete. And you don't need time to be yourself. You already are yourself fully on the level, on the formless. I call that essence identity, your form identity. Your essence identity, the invincible summer. In this sentence by Camus, that metaphor refers to the your essence identity. The winter is the suffering that the form identity undergoes. But if he hadn't spent a lot of time in the depths of winter, as he calls it he probably wouldn't even have found the invincible summer in him. Just as many of you, if you hadn't spent time in suffering and had not had deep challenges, you wouldn't even be here. I know I wouldn't. One thing you need to be careful about the moment you start to speak. You remember last night we looked at ways of interacting to bypass the mind, which quickly can bring up the ego. The ego is mind based, a mind based sense of identity. And we saw these video clips where people just looked at another human. So you bypass all that. So it's easier if you're not even engaging in any dialogue. So you're not even attempting to connect on the conceptual level, which can quickly completely pull you into that dimension of thought and back into ego. The moment you completely identify with the thought, it becomes part of your ego. Thought in itself is not ego, it's just thought. Complete identification with a thought that arises, this would be part of your ego. Emotion is not ego. But complete identification with an emotion that arises will become part of your ego. So the ego is complete identification with form and the primordial form is thought form. Of course the ego also identifies with the physical form, but more importantly, underlying that is identification with thought forms. So the danger is, yes, to be present when you are not being challenged by other humans. And interacting with other humans on a verbal level, it's easier. The challenge comes the moment you start to engage in a conversation with someone. And then the challenge is to have some of your awareness in the underlying awareness, stillness, to be aware of that underlying spaciousness. So there is not complete loss of stillness even while you speak. That's a skill. It requires vigilance to see that you are not dragged along with a mind stream. As soon as you start to open your mouth and words come out so you can, you're very present and then somebody says something and then you, well, and you're gone. And then it gets worse because the other person has a slightly different opinion. And then it amplifies your mind stream. And then because it's all. You're just totally in your form identity. And something is terribly important now. Something has become so important, much more important than anything else. Like your essence identity just, it's disappeared completely. Within three minutes, two minutes it's gone. Because there's a. There was, for example, there was a difference of slight difference of opinion that became so important. You needed to show that your viewpoint is absolutely the right one. And all your energy flows into that assertion of yourself ego. You don't know it, it's the ego. The opinion doesn't really matter. I mean, who cares if you are right or he is right? It's just a game of thought and it makes no, in most cases it makes no difference to any situation, but it is the desire of the egoic identity to assert itself and to emerge victorious. It's unconscious. It's an unconscious movement. But you can see that even in relatively insignificant exchanges between two people, even if the viewpoint slightly differs, there's a force behind the way in which you express your mental position, your viewpoint. It's not just presenting your perspective, your viewpoint or your mental position. If you are vigilant, it's of course much easier to observe. In another, you can start by doing that the force behind what people say is completely superfluous, unnecessary. But so there is another dimension. This is not just what people are saying. They may be doubting what you've said and they express. It's not just that, because that in itself would be a neutral thing. You put forward your perspective and said, I believe your viewpoint is not quite right. Here's mine. That in itself it's neutral. There's nothing, there's no egoic involvement. It's just there's an awareness behind it in the way I say that the Android data last night in the video clip, in the same way that he presented his viewpoint, there was no force behind it because he's egoless. He's not human, he's egoless. So in that sense there's no force behind what he said. He just presented clearly the situation as he saw it. And with humans that is not easy. So it requires great vigilance. I'm always surprised when I observe humans interacting. My initials are E.T. so I call them humans. I'm always surprised when I observe humans into how quickly this force flows into what they say. So there's not just whatever their opinion is, whether they question yours or whatever it may be, it's not just that in itself, it's completely harmless, but there is a force behind it that is aggressive in a way. Even if it's not obviously aggressive, there is that element in what they say. Why? Because you have identified with the arising thoughts, which means lack of awareness. Awareness has been lost, or a better way of putting it perhaps awareness has been obscured or covered up, and all there is to you now is that movement of thought, and therefore you've identified with it. Your consciousness has completely been hijacked by thought forms and then you identified, and then you're really not defending anymore your position or you are fighting to triumph as a form identity against the other who has a slightly different opinion. Sam.