Stop Chasing Awakening, It Will Come When You Least Expect It | Eckhart Tolle

I often say to people when they say to me, "I don't understand anymore," "Can you become comfortable with not knowing?" Rather than when you don't know to think that you should know. That's not the present moment. The present moment is that you don't know. Any great experience comes and goes. So, I'm often asked by spiritual seekers, they come to me and they say, "10 years ago I had this incredible, wonderful awakening, and I was fine for several days or weeks, and then somehow I lost it, and now I want to regain it." And again, they don't realize that again they're projecting what they experienced in the past now becomes a future thing for them, and they want to regain the past, and they make that into the future goal.

Haha.

So, the important thing to realize is not to look for an experience as such. It's very rare that awakening is an experience that changes you forever, and then it's no longer an experience, it's a shift in consciousness that stays with you. For most people, the shift is not one huge transformation that then stays with them. For most people, the shift is gradual. And any experience that you may have is not it, because it's in the nature of an experience that it comes and goes. So, don't look for spiritual experiences, and my recommendation is to actually not look for anything.

Okay.

Don't make Awakening into a future goal. That's a huge obstacle. So then you might say, "Well, I know I'm not awake now, so where is it going to happen?" Well, to say "I'm not awake now" is again— is just a thought in your head. You go more deeply into the present moment, and that is the portal that will open up, that is the portal into the state of Awakening. Don't go away from the present moment, go more deeply into the present moment. Don't go back to the past where at some point you experienced something beautiful, Don't go into the future. Stay with the— the only place where the portal can open up into awakening is the present moment. Even if the present moment is unsatisfying, one could almost say particularly if the present moment is experienced as challenging or unsatisfying or not good enough, go into the present moment and see if you can—

I'm sorry, I'm not understanding.

Become friendly with it. Even any emotional state that you may be in now, if you don't— if it's not experienced as pleasant— anger, sadness, certain mental states, irritation, mental-emotional states, irritation, confusion. I don't know what's going on anymore. I don't understand. I don't even know if Awakening exists. Maybe it's all a delusion. So if you're confused, and that's an interesting obstacle that arises for people, a state of mental confusion. "I don't understand anymore." Now, if you don't understand anymore about what your life is all about, or "What am I supposed to do?" That's usually experienced as something undesirable, because the mind wants to make sense of things, and it makes sense of things by labeling things with concepts. That is what understanding conceptually is: you have to label things, and then you have a sets of concepts, and then that's your understanding. It's always limited, and it's always just one-dimensional. Now, let's say you're beginning to awaken, and your usual conceptual understanding is recognized as faulty. You recognize that certain things in which you interpret the world are not actually true. But what is the truth? I'm confused. Now, that's interesting. If you don't understand anymore about yourself, about life, and you think you should understand,— that's a state of— an unpleasant state. But if you're in a state of confusion and you can't work things out anymore, and you become comfortable with not knowing, suddenly a shift happens. And you haven't gone— you just have gone— become more aligned with the present moment. If the present moment is a state of mental confusion, then say yes to the mental confusion and say, "Okay, I don't understand." Can I become comfortable with not knowing what's going on? Or is it my choice to remain uncomfortable not knowing what is going on, but at the same time believing that I should know what's going on, believing that I should understand? So the gap between not understanding and the conceptual belief that I should be understanding creates suffering. Yes. That's where the unpleasantness arises. So, I often say to people when they say to me, "I don't understand anymore," can you become comfortable with not knowing? Rather than when you don't know to think that you should know, that's not the present moment. The present moment is that you don't know. So one part of becoming aligned with the present moment when you are confused is then you stay confused, which means you don't know, become comfortable with not knowing, and then suddenly it's fine. You don't need to understand yourself, other people around you, and that's an amazing step into spiritual awakening immediately by accepting the state of not knowing instead of feeling uncomfortable that you should know, accepting that you don't know. That's a huge thing. If you become accepting of the state of not knowing, immediately the portal is opened up into awakening. That is already the awakened state. You see, amazing, you can take the shift from being completely this ignorant guy who has no idea about spirituality anymore and you don't know anything and suddenly become comfortable with not knowing and suddenly there is a knowing in you, if you even want to call it that, that's non-conceptual. There's just a space, a spaciousness in you which is a state of not knowing.

Eckhart Tolle.