Eckhart Tolle explains how mental judgments about situations create suffering, using waiting in line and traffic as examples. He teaches that observing what's actually happening, separate from your mind's commentary about it, lets you act without negative energy and frees you from needing external circumstances to change.
As you let go of dependency on your thinking to tell you who you are, other people who tell you who you are, you let go of dependency on that complete freedom from externals. So it sometimes happens that when external conditions become particularly unpleasant or difficult at first there's an inner resistance, there's deep suffering. And sometimes a point is reached when the resistance, which is of course consists ultimately of mental judgments about your situation, the resistance is relinquished. You let go of calling your situation anything, it just is as it is. That's the beginning then of freedom from external conditions. But we don't have to wait until we stand on the deck of the Titanic that's going down or similar situation. We don't have to wait for that. It may happen, but it may not happen. And of course there's no guarantee that then there will be a complete acceptance. It seems almost impossible in some situations to completely accept a situation. Let's start with more simple things and look at your own life and see in what areas of your life you are dependent for your happiness or well being or sense of fulfillment on external conditions. And how, perhaps how easily a change in external conditions can trigger immediately a change in your inner state. And to see, for example, that as you're standing in line somewhere for a little longer than you think you should be standing in line, as you stand there already, irritation arises. Been here for 10 minutes. And the irritation, of course it's a thought. I've been here for 10 minutes and it's too long. And as soon as you have the thought, this is too long, they should do something, whoever they are, they should do something. This is not right, then the body responds with an emotion. So the situation, it's wonderful to examine that because when you see it in yourself, it's already a beginning of an awakening. There's no personal shortcoming in you because, oh, I did that, I did that when we were standing in line this morning. Well, that you did that is perfectly normal. But that you realize that you did that, that's the beginning of awakening. It's even deeper awakening if you realize you are doing it in this moment. Of course it's a little easier to realize it afterwards because the energy behind the thought is not as strong. So let's go back to that situation. Of course, life consists of things like that, little things. In every day things arise and you get upset and it's normal. But upset is only a small beginning of suffering. Irritation is a mild form of suffering. And then comes, and then comes all the complaining, all the mind movements that Go with that. So stay with one simple thing. Because the mechanism of the simple thing is the same even in bigger things. How you lose peace, inner peace, so easily. I'm nothing personal. Many of you are already beyond that. I'm talking to those few who are not. And the others can just enjoy this. It's how easily inner peace is lost for little things. For little things. Waiting for too long, somebody not treating me the way they should be treating me, being unpleasant, rude. A person in the traffic doing something that he should not be doing, all kinds of little things. Or you break something, or you lose a little thing. And. And you don't realize that the most precious thing is your inner state, inner peace. By peace, I don't mean a dead peace where you desensitize yourself and say, I don't feel. I feel okay, but you don't feel alive anymore. The true inner peace is a deep sense of aliveness, to feel fulfilled. And it's inseparable from a kind of joy. Not necessarily the ecstatic joy. You don't go through life, wow. Some people try it, but you can't sustain that. But no, a peaceful and alive energy field in the background. That's inner peace. That's the most precious thing in your life, far more important than where you are or what's happening around you. And it's given up because of mental habits. You lose it so often. So once you're aware of that, then you can observe the mechanism, how you lose that, how quickly it can happen. And when you are really alert, you can see that what's the mechanism behind it? And the mechanism behind it is of course, a thought that arises that says something about this shouldn't be happening. It complains or whatever, it does, the thought. But you don't know it's just a thought to you. It is inseparable from the situation. So if you don't know that the thought you have about a situation is inseparable from the situation, that's unconsciousness. Because then you say it's a dreadful day because it's raining. You have mixed up a judgment with the external condition. It's a dreadful day, not realizing that the dreadful is your mental judgment and the day is as it is. Or you say standing in line here for so long is dreadful. No, you've mixed up two things, a judgment and the situation. But if you disentangle them, and then you see, here is what is, and here is what my mind is saying about it. And then suddenly you see that by believing totally in every judgment, that arises, you immediately lose your peace. You become dependent on external conditions for your happiness. So once you see that, then you can actually no longer believe in the judgment, or you can even relinquish it. And when that comes, when you realize your power to do that for the first time in situations where usually you would have complained or become irritated or angry, and suddenly you find, oh, I'm not complaining anymore. I'm not irritated. Or the thought comes and you say, okay, this is the thought, and here's what is. I just stay with what is. Because all the thought does is it adds suffering. The situation might be physical discomfort, but it's not suffering. It is as it is. That's an enormous liberation. When you can be in a place that before your mind would have called, I don't want to be here. Well, but you are here. And then you are just here without any judgment, and suddenly it's okay. That's the beginning of freedom from externals, and that's liberation. And that's continuous practice with all the little things that happen throughout your day. You practice in that way so that gradually you go into situations without mental judgments, and you still know what you need to do. The mind says, no, I will never do anything anymore. Then you still know what you need to do. And action. You can take action, but not based on condemnation and negative energy. So to become free of externals is an essential part, of course, of spiritual awakening.
Why alcohol feels like relief, and what it is really giving you | Eckhart Tolle
