This is a YouTube video titled "The Art of Staying Present During Conversations | Eckhart Tolle" containing a spoken presentation or talk by Eckhart Tolle recorded in September 2024. The content focuses on spiritual teachings about maintaining self-presence and awareness during verbal interactions, offering practical advice on how to avoid losing oneself in thoughts and ego during conversations, including difficult or heated discussions. The speaker elaborates on techniques such as inner body awareness and mindful listening to enhance presence and improve the quality of interpersonal communication.
When you are talking, are you able to maintain self remembrance? Now, self does not refer to the way he used. It does not refer to the egoic self. It refers to the self that is the presence. Are you. So are you able to remember your own presence? It's not your own. I'm just saying is that, are you, are you able to remember your own remembrance? When I say remember, it's not a thought. Usually remember is something to do with a thought that you bring up. But this is a deeper remembering. Are you able to remember yourself, to know yourself? Instead of losing yourself in the words? Is there some presence left? That's not the words. The words come out of that so you don't lose yourself completely in the stream of words. That is a skill that develops gradually. But you need to use all these opportunities when you are interacting with people verbally. Use the opportunities to practice as much as possible this act of self remembering. So many times you may find you lose yourself in the stream of words and then after a few minutes, perhaps you wake up and, and it's amazing when you can observe when this happens to people, how they are completely lost in whatever comes out of their mouth. The entire sense of self is invested in it. And often they get very often accompanied by negative emotions because there's an identity in there. There's an identity in every. In that stream of thought. They, it's them in, in other words, it's spiritual speaking. They are unconscious. But even people who are already awakening find that quite often. Or, or sometimes they are still. They still find that they lose themselves in certain types of interaction, verbal interaction. They lose themselves in the stream of words. And at some point you suddenly remember, perhaps, well, either after it's just happened, or even better if possible, in the moment of it happening, you suddenly remember that you're completely lost in whatever arguments come out of your mouth and you. And you're completely lost in it. So you forgot yourself completely. The present is lost, but the moment you realize that the presence is lost, the presence is there because only the re arising of presence can know that the presence has been lost. So there isn't, There isn't a simple trick to that. It's a. It involves more. It's an organic way of gradually losing yourselves less and less frequently over shorter periods. Although I can say a few things that might be helpful when you're interacting, not to lose yourself. Because when you're verbally interacting with either one person or group of people, there will be times when you speak and there will be times when they speak. And while they speak, you are listening. And the. Those moments when you are listening are great opportunity for stepping back into presence while you're listening instead of continuing the argument or the discussion in your mind. So you're not really listening. They are speaking and you are in your mind. So if you can, as a spiritual practice, when you are interacting verbally, the moment they speak, you are listening. And make sure that you are really listening. So you step back into presence. Because only if you are present are you able to really listen to the other. And when you listen to the other, you're not just listening. It's not just the listening to the words. Behind the listening is the presence when you're really listening. And then it may even be possible for you to not only to, to become aware, not only to be aware of the words that they are speaking, but also to be become aware of their presence behind the words that behind whatever they're saying might be the complete opposite of your viewpoint or mental position. And yet behind it there is a presence. And that presence is one with your presence. So you can, you can listen to the other words, but there's also something behind the words while you're listening that is in yourself. You felt sense it in yourself, and then you can also sense it in the other. So in the conversation, your practice then can be to, whenever you've said something, the other person starts speaking, step back into presence, and that may change the entire nature of the interaction. And then your participation will become quality, let's say qualitatively enhanced, because what you say next will come out of the stillness. So what you participate in a discussion, for example, so you step back into stillness while they speak, you listen, and then words come out of your mouth when it's your turn again to speak and you find there's a. There's more power behind those words because they come out of that, the still space of presence. So you may be able, if it's a discussion, to contribute something helpful to the discussion. Instead of just defending your mental positions, you contribute something helpful. So it changes everything. So a good way of practicing not losing yourself in the words is whenever you've said something, step back into still while you listen to the other. And then also the compulsion to be right will grant, will disappear. And then it's no longer a case of who is right and who is wrong. It becomes something that you can, you can actually have a discussion with someone. They have very totally different viewpoints without ego involvement. You have totally different viewpoints, and perhaps you want to express your viewpoint, that's fine, but you're not identified with your viewpoint, so you can still express it even forcefully. This is what I believe, without your seeking your identity in it. That's a huge difference. And then you can have, you can talk, let's say United States, a Republican can talk to a Democrat without completely losing themselves in their, their mental identity, seeking their identity in mental positions. And then you can realize that the other is also a human being, not just, not just a Republican or Democrat, he's also you. Now perhaps they have very bad opinions, but their opinions, okay, so if, if you let go of seeking an identity in opinion, your opinion, then you also do not equate somebody else's opinion with their real identity. Then you can just see, perhaps their, their opinion is delusory, perhaps it's really wrong, but it's not their identity, it's their opinion. So, and that, that brings, that brings about a completely different energy field in the interaction. The other is no longer your enemy. He may still be in your viewpoint, he may still be totally wrong, but he's not your enemy. And so that's, It's a practice. Some people find. One additional thing, some people find that in a discussion, especially when it becomes a heated discussion, he did usually means ego involvement. Body awareness while you are talking to somebody or participating in a group discussion, inner body awareness can help as an anchor for not completely losing yourself in the stream of words that come out of your mouth. So have a little bit of your attention in the inner energy field of the body. Most of you know what I mean when I say inner body awareness. To sense the energy field that pervades the body. So I have some attention is an energy that is in your hands, your feet, your legs. It's, it's like the aliveness of the body, the animating presence. So if you can have some of your attention in the animating presence in your body, that means you're not totally losing yourself in the stream of words. So that can be an anchor for staying present while you speak. Especially, especially to be used in difficult interactions. And you know the type of interactions that are difficult. Sometimes it involves family members, sometimes it involves interactions that take place during Thanksgiving dinners coming up very soon. It involves often people with whom you share a lot of past can be difficult or it's something to do in your professional situation, your job situation where there may be lots of egos around. And so especially there when you know, I'm not going into a difficult situation where I have to talk, I have to interact, but I know it's going to be challenging, then it may be helpful to have some of your attention in the inner energy field of the body and alternatively, or in addition, be aware that you're breathing. And this can be combined with when you're listening to other people talk, have some attention on your breath. The. The ingoing and the outgoing breath that's intimately connected with inner body awareness. They kind of almost go together. So while you're listening, while you're there, continuously, as much as possible, return your attention to your breathing. While you're listening. If you're not able to simply, just simply step back. So these are all little things you can do. And then gradually you'll find that you can actually speak even in difficult situation, without completely losing yourself. Or if you lose yourself, you won't be losing yourself for very long. Just maybe just a few minutes, who knows? So is that helpful or do you. Very helpful. Thank you, Eckhart. Yeah, Yeah. I wish you well in your practice. The plenty of opportunities in this world practicing presence when interacting with challenging humans and most of them are challenging sa.
