The Challenge of Self-Esteem | Eckhart Tolle Teachings

An essential part of awakening spiritually is going beyond a conceptualized sense of self and living in a conceptual reality. And of course, all that implies being identified with thinking because concepts are thoughts. So for many people, the question arises, how do I see myself? And there's a very common problem people have, and that's called self esteem. What value do I have? What value does my life have compared to others? Some years ago, the Dalai Lama was asked by somebody about self esteem and he didn't understand the word self esteem. And somebody, the interpreter, spent several minutes trying to explain to him the meaning of self esteem and he just couldn't get it. Now, of course, you might say, well, if I were the Dalai Lama, I wouldn't have a problem with self esteem either. But that's not it. Self esteem, in the way in which it's conventionally used, is comparative and it's always connected to ego. How do I rate myself relative to others, either in achievement, worldly achievement, abilities, knowledge, physical appearance, physical strength, good looks, bad looks, fat, thin, and usually it's related to what you have, possessions, what you can do, abilities, what you know, knowledge and physical appear. And that's an interesting thing. When you look at your life from that point of view, there's always a sense of unease because there are always others who are better at at least some of these than you are, and then there are others who are worse. I would suggest that the only healthy self esteem is a self esteem that is derived from a deeper place than any of those things that usually make up a person's self esteem. How you look, what you can do, your knowledge or your abilities, or even weird things like who you know, the strangest thing make up a person's self esteem. And sometimes it's based in some kind of reality, of course, and in many other cases it's a total fiction. But the ego needs that. So if you are, let's say you're not good at anything in particular, there's nothing much that you can do, you're not wealthy, don't have much, don't have a lot of knowledge, haven't read many books, don't look great, and your body is not that great, neither your facial appearance nor your body are that great. What do you do then? I hope there's nobody in this room who thinks, oh, that's me. Usually, first of all, usually the ego would create a certain narrative to compensate for that feeling of inferiority in an attempt to create some sense, at least in one area, of superiority. So I would suggest there is no in that use. In that sense, there is no healthy self esteem. The only healthy self esteem is not derived from how you look or how physically strong you are, or your abilities in whatever area, or your possessions, or the knowledge that you have acquired, or any other things. Your family background. In some countries, that's a very important thing. Who is your family? Your grandfather, your great grandfather. They have that sense that determines their self esteem. In the west, especially in the New World. North America, maybe South America too. Central America. That sense of family history is not as strong. But if you go to Europe, there are still quite a few people who have very high self esteem. And that's derived from the existence of their ancestors. They have never done anything but their ancestors did. You have to go a little deeper into yourself. And true self esteem is not comparative. It's not I am better than or less than. Quite simply, that sense of value, of worthiness, is derived from that deeper place of quite simply your presence, the presence of you, the presence of consciousness. If you can sense that presence of you, you don't need to compare yourself anymore to anybody else. You know that that is who you are in your essence. And no narrative is required anymore in your mind to justify your existence or to explain who you are in relation to others. It.