This Is How You Can Better Understand Your Self Worth | Eckhart Tolle

What are the typical things that people derive their identity from? And of course, the most obvious thing— perhaps one could say the most obvious thing is their body, the personal sense of self. Exists in the dimension of past and future. It's fine. That's where time happens. Past— time is all-consuming on this level, this dimension that we move in as physical bodies. You have time, and we, we have what looks like past and future but can never be experienced directly. Because they don't exist in actuality. But we need them to move in this dimension. We need constant reference to past and future. For example, we could not have met here without reference to the future. Otherwise, one would have said at some point, We are going to get together here in the now, and let's hope that we all come together in the same moment than in the now in Edmonton. It probably wouldn't have happened, or at least not in several million years, when for some strange reason everybody coincidentally converged here. No, we needed time for practical purposes, and that's fine. But the question is, is it consuming us? Are we lost in it? Or are we able to use time for practical purposes but not be trapped in it? And this is the beginning of The spiritual life is the recognition that there is a deeper dimension to life, a deeper dimension than the purely personal sense of self that exists in time, in and through time. So this personal sense of self, that's where when you use the word 'I,' it's everybody's favorite word. You use the word 'I,' it usually refers to yourself, your personal sense of self. And your personal sense of self consists of an accumulation of things that you identify with. And to identify with you, you— it means you incorporate those things into your sense of self. They become your sense of self. And even something like Tonight's game, uh, if you are from this city or this country, it is almost inevitable that you have some identification with the team and with the outcome. In other words, you incorporate it to some extent into your sense of self. And that's why you feel enhanced if they win. You go, "Ah!" Your sense of self has grown. And of course, winning implies that somebody else must have lost. And so their sense of self then feels somewhat diminished. Oh, we lost. Do you feel there's something you need to— you compare yourself. There's always search for superiority in one way or another. That's part of the egoic sense of self. But this is just human nature. There's no need to say, I should not be happy if the Oilers win because I'm so spiritual. It makes no difference to me if they win or lose. And you could even fool yourself that it makes no difference to you. Now, this is a relatively small thing, identification with something like a team. And the city where you live, that team belongs to that city or the country. And that operates in most people. It comes to the surface for a few hours or a few days, and then you begin to forget about it. It's only a relatively small part of your sense of self. Many other things in most people's sense of self are more important and much bigger than that. But it's interesting to look briefly what are the typical things that people derive their identity from. And of course, the most obvious thing— perhaps one could say the most obvious thing is their body. Because you cannot doubt that that's, you say, that's me. You have a body. It's interesting that in language, most people don't say, "I am a body." They say, "I have a body," as if they knew somehow that they are not the body, but they seem to have it. Otherwise, people would say, "I am a body." So there may be some hidden wisdom in language. So on some unconscious level, they know perhaps that they are not the body. That's why they say, "I have a body." But still they identify inevitably with their physical appearance, and nobody becomes completely free or is free of that. Everybody is born into a body, and you begin to identify with it. And that could be good news or bad news, depending on what kind of a body you have. And what kind of a body you have is relative to— you need to compare your body with other bodies. Only then can you come to a conclusion as to what kind of a body you have and whether the body makes you happy or unhappy. And this is already a big problem for many people. Body identification is a huge problem for many people. It is also a source of pride for others who are lucky enough to have been born with a body that is more beautiful or stronger than other bodies. And that could already become an important part of your sense of identity, sense of self, because you know from an early age, you look around and you can see my body is more beautiful or stronger than other bodies. And then you see other people are envious of you, they, uh, but you feel that's and that gives you a lift, and your ego becomes invested in body. And so the bodies can be a source of pride, and it can be also the other opposite. It can be a source of shame. And some people move between them depending on when they step on the scale. Or they look in the bathroom mirror before the shower, and that determines then, are they feeling shame or pride or something in between? Or it might vary from month to month depending on what's happening. And some people are not sure, and some people have a distorted view of their bodies. They, they think they need to lose weight more and more and more and more until there's almost nothing left. Weird, all kinds of strange things can happen. So that's— now, if this— if the body is a source of pride, it is strong, then that will keep your ego. It can become a very important part of your ego. In some people, it can be more than— it's hard to quantify. Let's say more than 50% of their ego, especially if they have few other things to identify with in life, such as possessions or achievements or whatever it may be, then they get their— the, their positive body image can sustain the ego for several decades, but not forever, because time does something to your body. It be— after a while you reach a certain age And then you look in the mirror one day, having perhaps just looked at a photo that somebody took of you 25 years ago, and you say, what happened? What happened to my face? Everybody admired it for decades, and now something is Am I— is my body under attack? Yes, it is. And who is the enemy that's attacking your body? It's called time. On this— it's so— time is a weird thing which operates in this dimension.