What is The Source of Satisfaction? Eckhart Tolle Teachings

If you are at the mercy of situations, you're at the mercy of things going exactly the way you planned them and the way they are supposed to go. And if they don't, you get upset. Some people get sad or depressed, others get angry and irritated, whatever it is. So you are at the mercy of things happening or not happening or happening in a particular way, or people behaving towards you in a particular way. So you're under. You're always at the mercy of stuff happening or not happening. And if you are more deeply connected with the presence of that is the source of satisfaction in your life. Every other source of satisfaction is kind of fake, pseudo, not the real thing. Presence, that arising presence is the source of satisfaction, the primary source of satisfaction in your life? Yes. There are secondary sources of satisfaction, of course. An apple pie, you have a nice swim, feels good. You go for a hike, you have sex, you have a drink, you even achieve something. You learn to master a certain skill and then as you practice, that is satisfying. And then you achieve it, it's satisfying. These are all secondary satisfactions in your life. And there's nothing wrong with that, of course. And if you meet a long lost friend suddenly, it's great to meet you, it's so wonderful. Of course there is a satisfaction in that, but they are all secondary satisfactions. The main source of satisfaction is the presence. And even all those things that are secondary satisfaction, many of them are because for a moment they bring you into presence. For example, if you're climbing a mountain, or you're hiking, or you're walking on the beach, or you're swimming, certain activities take you out of your mind and can bring you into presence while they last. And you feel so good and you think it's caused by the activity, but it's caused by the fact that all the habitual, torturous thinking subsided and you suddenly, completely there. That was so good. That swim, that hike, that whatever it was, it was so good. Okay. Why? Well, it was good because. Were you thinking? No. Were you thinking about yesterday or tomorrow or your problems or your difficult life or difficult people in your life? No. Okay. You are completely present. So once you realize and sense that true satisfaction is derived from presence, that means when things go wrong in ordinary life, when you encounter undesirable, so called undesirable circumstances, when things don't work out, they were supposed to work out, things break, suddenly you lose something, a difficult person comes into your life. You can, even in that situation, you can continue to be in touch with the source of Satisfaction. Let's say you made great plans for some great wedding and suddenly on the wedding day something happens and the groom or the bride are detained somewhere and they can't make it. And we've invited 300 people and we've paid thousands of dollars for this wedding. And I've been looking forward to this for years. It was supposed to be the culmination of my life. It's a fictitious situation, but it could happen and probably has happened. It's just one of many possible examples. So this is a very unpleasant thing if you're not in touch with a true source of satisfaction and you go all shaky and upset or hysterical, whatever, depending on your predispositions, you lock yourself in a room or you scream, depending on whatever kind of ego you have. But if you are in touch with the source of satisfaction in presence, wow, okay, that's a pity. But of course we'll have it some other day. And you continue to feel a sense of aliveness because after all, this moment isn't that bad. Just because the wedding has collapsed. And I'm using the collapsed wedding as a matter for whatever collapses or goes wrong. So here we have. And you are then above the situations in your life. They don't control you anymore. And I wouldn't go so far as to say that you control them to some extent. Of course you can manifest certain good things, but you're never totally in control of externals. There are many other factors and you don't need to be totally in control of externals. So the question always arises, are you above the situation or are you below the situation? Are you at the mercy of situations and people? Or are you free of dependency on how other people behave towards you or how certain situations evolve or happen, or dependent on whether something happens or does not happen? Shortly after this shift in consciousness, I had saved some money to visit my dad in Spain. And because his wife was extremely challenging, it was agreed that I would stay in a small hotel. I was in my. I think I was about 30 years old. So I was looking forward, of course, to going to. I lived in England, going to sunny Southern Spain, spending 10 days there, and I booked, or my dad booked for me a place. He didn't have any money at that time. Well, he had some money, but I think not enough to book a great room for me. So he made a booking, but he hadn't looked at the hotel or the room. And when I arrived, the hotel was by the sea. So I imagined a view of the beautiful blue Mediterranean Sea. And when I got there and I looked out the window. There was a brick wall. It was facing away from the sea and there was a kind of cliff and there was just a brick wall and a little bit of sky. And so I stood there and looked at the brick wall and suddenly I felt incredibly peaceful. And I suddenly realized it doesn't matter at all whether I have a sea view or a brick wall. Why didn't it matter? Because there was a flow of satisfaction coming from within. If it had been my choice, I would have said, I prefer a sea view to a wall view. But I didn't have a choice. And I was amazed because that was not long after this inner shift. So I wasn't yet familiar with all the effects it has on things in one's life. And there were many instances when I was amazed. I said, why do I feel so peaceful? I don't know, I just feel I did nothing. In this particular case, I knew that at some level it ultimately did not matter. And that was so liberating. So liberating. That reminds me of a very similar story. We had a retreat in probably Oregon many years ago. And one of the participants, who was also a friend of ours, had just started to unpack things in her room, the retreat room, when a woman burst into her room without knocking, in tears and sounding hysterical, and she said, this was supposed to be my room and they put me somewhere else. I asked specifically for this room. I've been waiting for this retreat for a long, long time and I have difficult difficulties in my life. This is, oh, just so dread. And our friend, without even having giving it a single thought, said, you can have it, I'll move into yours. And the woman's. Really? No. Do you mean that? Oh my God, how wonderful. Thank you so much. I'm so happy. It is probably true that she had been through difficult times, yes, but she was totally at the mercy of externals. And our friend. I didn't inquire further how she felt when she moved into that undesirable room, which probably wasn't that bad, I don't think there was a brick wall outside the window. She was fine. So in her there was some connectedness with the source of satisfaction. So her well being did not depend on. On what kind of room she was in. Now, does that matter? Does that mean whatever room they put you in, when you book a room in a hotel, you should say okay? Not necessarily. Why not? If that is not the right room, you can talk to the. Actually, this isn't the room I booked I'd rather have the room that I booked and paid for and then see what happens. But again, there is not going to be that or the anger. This is. How dare you put me in this room. You lose all. There's no longer a flow. Do you remember we talked about what makes up a true human? It's goodwill towards other humans. A flow of benevolence and goodwill no matter what the situation is. And even if you're complaining about your room, you can complain and there can still be a flow of benevolence and goodwill because there is a human being there. That human being may have nothing to do with the fact that they put you in the wrong room. And you probably know that. But you're angry with him or her. So of course you can change situations. And I think I probably asked. I don't remember all the details. I may have asked. I sure did in that. When I got to that hotel with a brick wall outside. Do you have another room with a sea view? Sorry, that's all we have left. Okay, so it was a surprise to me. One that I could be okay with that. And I don't know how. This woman from the retreat, whether she benefited from the retreat and whether by now I haven't seen her in a long time. I wish her well. And I do hope that by now she has found the source of true satisfaction within herself. So that the wrong room does not create an enormous amount of suffering. If a wrong room creates an enormous amount of suffering, how much suffering when something really goes wrong? This mind made sense of self is also much more focused on the negative than the positive. To be free, you awaken. Or to who you are beyond your history and your life situation. It.