#375: The Lies We Carry With Us (and How They Hold Us Back)
2 Jul 2025 · 6 min
Ed Gandia uses Derek Sivers' story to show how the narratives we tell ourselves can limit us. The episode explores how freelance writers can rewrite the stories holding them back.
Welcome to the High Income Business Writing Podcast, helping you propel your writing business to a whole new level. And now, here's your host, Ed Gandia.
Hey there. Welcome to another episode of the High Income Business Writing Podcast, the number one podcast for business writers and copywriters who want to earn more and less time doing work they love for better clients. With over 1 million downloads from listeners just like you across 101 countries, this episode is much shorter than usual. Rather than my typical 45 minute format. Today I'm sharing a quick tip with you. This is part of the audio insights I publish for my private coaching clients every weekday and I thought you'd find it helpful. So here we go. Hope you enjoy it.
Imagine carrying a soul crushing burden for nearly two decades, only to discover it was all based on a lie. That's exactly what happened to entrepreneur and author Derek Sivers a few decades ago. And his story might just change the way you think about your own past and the stories you keep telling yourself day in and day out. So When Derek was 17, he caused a devastating car accident in his hometown of Hinsdale, Illinois. He was a typical 17 year old teenage boy, not really paying attention. Being careless, he ran a yield sign and slammed into an oncoming car. As he stumbled from the wreckage, he was dizzy, he was disoriented. One thought pounded in his head. Oh my gosh, what have I done? Because he saw the ambulance, he saw the other person being carried away in a stretcher. And in the aftermath, he learned the horrifying truth. The woman he hit had broken her spine. And Derek was told that she would never walk again. Now, as you can imagine, Derek's world crumbled. And for the next 15 years or so, he carried the weight of that guilt, the certainty that he had destroyed someone's life. And it became part of his identity. A shadow he couldn't escape. But when Derek reaches early to mid-30s, he knew he had to face those demons. So he tracked down the woman. His heart was pounding as he knocked on her door. He just showed up at her house and he was prepared to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Forgiveness he knew he didn't deserve. And that's when the unthinkable happened. She answered the door and walked right up to him. Yeah, she walked on legs that actually moved in a body that wasn't paralyzed. Derek couldn't believe it. For 15 years, he had lived with the unshakable belief that he had confined this woman to a wheelchair for life. But it was all a story, a nightmare his mind had created and clung to. Now, as they talked, the truth unfolded. Because I thought the end of the story. Yes, she had fractured a vertebrae in the crash, but it hadn't left her paralyzed. In fact, she explained that the accident had been a turning point for her. It was a wake up call that helped her confront an eating disorder that had spiraled out of control. And the accident was the one thing that shined a spotlight on it and helped her turn her life and her health around. So astonishingly, she apologized to him, believing the crash and get this had been her fault. This whole time, she thought she was the one who caused the accident. So for nearly two decades, they had both been trapped in prisons of their own making. Each was secretly taking sole responsibility for a shared trauma. And neither one of them knew or understood the full picture. And that, my friends, is the power of the stories we tell ourselves, the narratives we spin out of fragments of truth, the conclusions we jump to when we are at our lowest point. We cling to these stories. We let them define us. We let them guide us. We let them limit us. But what if, like Derek, the stories we've been telling ourselves for years are just wrong? What if the beliefs we've built our lives around are based on incomplete information, on fear or self blame? Just imagine the weight we might put down, the freedom we could find, the new paths we could forge. So today, I want you to let Derek's journey be your invitation. Take a long, hard look at the stories you're carrying, the burdens you've been shouldering for far too long. Question them. Interrogate them. And if they're not serving you, if they're holding you back, maybe it's time to let them go. To rewrite the script and to step into the light that's waiting on the other side of that lie. Because your past is not set in stone. It's just a story. And you, my friend, are the author.
Well, that's it for today. I hope you enjoyed the episode. And just a quick reminder to grab your free copy of my latest book, Earn More in Less Time. The Proven Mindset, strategies and actions to prosper as a freelance writer. You can get your free copy@b2b launcher.com or you will also find the detailed show notes to this and all my other episodes. Enjoy and have a great day.
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