068 Time for Attention

This is Dr. Torrey. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show, where we make every day better and we influence for good.

I have heard it said so many times that time is our scarcest, non renewable resource. And that's simply not true. Let me explain. First, this happens to be recorded around the time of new year. So this is a time where people are looking at where are they putting their priorities and how productive are they going to be in the year to come. And so you'll see oftentimes in the productivity sort of work and literature domains, gurus, courses, et cetera, they talk about time and time management. And many times before, we've talked about the fact that it's not time that you're managing, it's action that you're managing. But there are a couple other subsets of time that are far more important than time itself. So time is not your scarcest, non renewable resource. I would argue that attention is attention. It's attention. And it's not just where you place your attention. Now this, that's an obvious one, right? Like, where are you putting your attention? Are you putting it to your device, even while you're sitting in the room with a couple other people? Are you looking at your phone? Are you all sitting in a room watching a television? Is that where you're placing your attention? It's okay. This is not a judgment I'm asking. I am simply asking for you to reflect on it. Where are you putting your attention? But where isn't the only question, how long are you putting your attention there? So there is a time element to attention, right? Attention is a subset of time. But how much time are we paying attention? So how long is one, but how deep? Also, now that starts to get into the domain of presence. How present are we while we're paying attention? How present are we with that thing that we're putting attention on that person, that relationship, that work, that deep work, and this gets to the next one. What intent are we placing our attention? With what purpose? I would argue that it's extremely vital that we are intentional about our attention. And also when you put your attention, now this is interesting because sometimes we're putting our attention on something that happened in the past. Sometimes we're putting it on something that may or may not happen in the future. And sometimes we're able to put it in the present. So where we put our attention, how long we put our attention, how deep our attention goes, with what intent, with what purpose, and then also when are we placing our attention? So I would argue that the quality of your attention determines not just the quality of the work that you're doing or the conversation you're having, but it goes far deeper than that. Where you put your attention, how long, how deep, with what intent. All of those questions shape the quality of your life. They shape the quality of that time. So while everyone's saying time is your scarcest resource, attention is what shapes how that time goes. Attention is what shapes how that time is spent. Attention is what shapes how that time is invested. And it might be worth a moment to talk about paying attention versus investing attention. Because the differences are deep. The differences are deep. In fact, when you pay something, it's often a little more transactional than investing. Investing, there's a return, there's something that comes on the other end, whereas paying is often like a consumable and think about how you consume time in your feed, when you're scrolling, think about how you consume time. When you're in idle talk, think about how you consume time. When your attention is going to entertainment you are consuming, some would argue in the process you're being consumed. So that's paying when you pay attention versus when you invest attention. When you invest attention, there's a return. There's a return on your relationship. If you're investing attention into delivering a gift to somebody, a really deep, thoughtful gift, or if you're investing attention into how you're going to have that deeper conversation or that difficult conversation, or that life changing conversation. If you're investing attention into how you're going to show up to that meeting or to that family event. If you're investing attention into your child and the conversation you have on the ride home. If you invest your attention, it's very different than paying attention because it goes a lot deeper. It goes a lot further. It has more impact on our relationships, our lives, our who we become. So here are the differences between paying attention and investing attention. When we pay attention, sometimes we're drained afterwards. When we invest attention, we're energized. Think about that. Where are you paying attention and feeling drained afterwards? And where are you feeling energized after you've placed your attention there? Was it a relationship? Was it a conversation? Was it deep work? Was it doing something like going above and beyond and exerting yourself in service? What was it? Did it drain you or did it energize you? That's a difference between paying and investing attention. The other is when you feel like it's, it's congruent, it's coherent, it's Together, it's aligned. That's when we invest attention. When we pay attention, it feels fragmented. Oh, what just happened with those last 20 minutes? I was scrolling like it's fragmented. You were doing something else and then you shifted and the whole thing feels fragmented. But when you invest attention, it feels like it flows, it's deeper, it's chosen. That's another difference. When we invest attention, we're choosing. When we pay attention, we're often reacting. We're reacting. When we pay attention, it's often short term. When we invest attention, it's longer term. When we pay attention, it's like it's extractive. It takes from us. When we invest attention, it's generative, it's growth oriented. So which is it? So stop just focusing on your time. I'm telling you, you will manage time. Air quotes. You will manage time, you will manage action, you will manage energy better when you are intentional about where you place your attention. So as you face a time of change or a time of growth or a time of renewal, like a new year and New Year's resolutions and things like that, or an anniversary or something you're going to take action on, it's not about managing your time because time is not your scarcest, non renewable resource. Attention is. So be deliberate. Be intentional about your attention. I'll see you in the next episode.

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