Why Curiosity Leads to Better Conversations

20 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this brief monologue, Dr. Ed Tori explains how adopting a stance of curiosity rather than blame transforms interpersonal conversations. He argues that when we challenge our internal narratives and approach interactions with curiosity, we open up a wider range of possible outcomes, which are typically more positive than the limited, story‑driven expectations we would otherwise hold. He also notes that, lacking concrete information, our brains default to negative, self‑centered assumptions about others’ motives. By questioning these default stories and fostering a curious mindset, we create a safer, more open conversational environment that leads to better dialogue.

Chapters

If you challenge your stories and you go in curious, like with a frame of curiosity instead of a frame of blaming or a frame of they always do this, then if you enter curious, you end up at a vast, a vastly wide potential range of potential outcomes. And they're almost always better than if you just kept your story in there. And here's the other thing. In the absence of information, our brain defaults to a negative. So if we don't actually know why they said what they said or how they said it or what was irritating them or whatever, we will fill it in with negative stuff. And most of the time it's pretty self-centered. So challenging the stories we have helps us actually even create like a more open and curious environment, and it actually makes the entire environment safer and makes those conversations go better. So, so it's a vital skill.