The Pain You Avoid Is the Pattern You Repeat

Hi, everyone. Welcome or welcome back to the channel. Or if you're listening on Spotify, welcome back to the Cosmic Creators Podcast. If you're watching this on YouTube, you're getting to see my little. My little girl Skye. Say hi. She's such a little worm. I actually can't go, oh, she's my little baby. She wanted to come up beside me, but I think she wants to go down now. I'm glad you guys got to meet her because she's actually going to tie in a weird way with this week's episode. This week I have a lot to fill you guys in on because I didn't get to sit down and record a podcast episode last week. I tried. I actually really tried on Sunday because it was Father's Day. I sat down to record something about wounded masculine energy, because that's been my experience of fathers. If, you know, you know. So I was going to speak about, like, healing from wounded masculine energy and father wounds and things like that, but it just felt so forced. It didn't feel right. And so I left it. So. So let me just fill you guys in. Last week, I went to Barcelona to see Rufus du Sol, which if, you know, if you've listened maybe in past episode, I think I've said this, they're like, their music just means a lot to me. I've kind of manifested a lot listening to Rufus du Sol. In a weird way, I have, like, this connection to their music. So going to see them live has always been, like, my dream. And I think because I kept saying, it's my dream, it's my dream, it's my dream. I put it on this big pedestal, and I was setting myself up to be a little bit disappointed. Now, don't get me wrong, they were amazing. They were really, really good. And I did enjoy it, but I wasn't having, like, outof body bliss like I kind of expected I would. So that's fine. But after that, it kind of sent me into this. This little bit of a spiral, which I'm going to be actually kind of vulnerable with you guys and share some weird thoughts that I have because I don't know if anyone else thinks like this, and I want to know if you guys do. But as I was leaving the venue for Rufus du Sol, I. This, like, group of friends passed me, and I think they were American or something, and the way that they were, like, laughing and joking together and they were, like, talking about going back to, like, this thing. And I don't know. I don't know what it was. But sometimes I'll overhear someone saying something, or I'll see a group together or like a family together, and I'll get this, like, in intense feeling of almost homesickness. And, like, that's something that I'm missing. And I kind of got this, like, overwhelming feeling that I really want this, like, big, fun friend group. And I just haven't really had that since I've moved to Spain, if I'm honest with you. Like, I have good friends here, but I just felt like there was something missing. I'm just being totally real with you guys. Like, I enjoyed it and I was so grateful for it. And I was with my partner and two amazing friends, but I felt like there was something missing. And when I heard this guy with this big group of friends, like, laughing and joking and running around and having fun and, like, talking about what they were going to do after, I got this kind of vision of them all, like, hanging out, having a barbecue or something. And I got that homesick feeling. And sometimes I get that homesick feeling. Like, the last time I had it was when I was in Marrakech and I was staying with this really, really nice family. They're very wealthy and. And the culture in Marrakech in Morocco is basically like the. The families invite friends over to stay in their house, right? And we all eat at home. We eat around the table. Everybody sits together and drinks tea and everybody talks. And I had that homesick feeling. Actually, it was way worse than when I was there. And I think it's like, feeling like I'm missing, like, connection and oneness to the level that my soul craves. I think that's what that feeling is because there was one time that I meditated, right? I've always had this feeling. I have had it since I was young. Like, I'll have it sometimes even when I'm with. Like when I'm with people I love, when I'm with my family, like, I'm just like. And then I get this feeling of homesickness. It's like this, like, gut wrenching, like I'm missing something. And I can never really logically explain it, but one time I meditated and I went. It was. I think it was a Joe Dispenza meditation. And I went into the quantum realm. And I really felt like I was kind of in space in this meditation. It was pretty deep. And then a sound. I was sitting outside on the balcony and then there was a sound upstairs that snapped me out of it suddenly. And when I came out of Wherever the hell I was in that meditation, I got that homesick feeling so intensely when I came back into my body. And it was almost like my soul was like, oh, no. Like, I can't even describe. Oh, no. I can't even describe what the feeling was, but it is the only way I can explain it. It is like my soul is craving a level of oneness that it knows from before it came here that it's not getting here. And sometimes when it sees it reflected externally, it. It creates that feeling of longing within me because I'm not experiencing that. And the thing is, I have experienced amazing connections, and I have experienced a feeling of connectedness in meditation and different things. But, yeah, I don't know. That came up again after Rufus du Sol. And then I went down this whole spiral of thinking that I'm not fun. I don't know where this came from, but this is all going to tie together at the end and I'm going to explain. So I'm. If some of this resonates with you, I'm glad because you're going to get a solution at the end. So stay with me. So I was, like, watching all these people having so much fun, and I was thinking, am I just a boring person? Like, am I not fun? And then I was kind of thinking, I haven't really been feeling, like, funny. I haven't been in my humor. I haven't been. I feel I've been quite serious lately. That's what I was thinking. So then I started overthinking the fact that now I think I'm serious now and I don't know how to get my fun side back. And I even spoke to my boyfriend about this, and he was like, yeah, maybe we are gone a bit serious because he's a really fun and funny person as well, and we have so much fun together. But yeah, we were just kind of saying that because we both don't really, like, party or anything anymore. So anyway, I got into my head that I'm serious now. And then I started getting down on myself about not being funny, not being fun, not being, like, charismatic, not being the life of the party. And I was trying to logic my way to figure out how I could get my sense of humor back. Like, seriously. Oh, man. And I know you're not supposed to use your logic for something like that because it's something that comes from your feminine energy, yet I was in my masculine energy trying to figure out, like, what is it that I need to do? What step do I need to take to, to make myself fun again. And I've had times in my life where I have felt like so free and playful and I'm able to just like, you know, play in life and just have fun and laugh and joke and I feel like myself, like my true self. But after this incident because I started taking it into my head and overthinking it like I always say not to fucking do. I'm also PMSing so you know, I give myself grace for that. But, but as I was overthinking it I started questioning like my whole personality, my content and I was trying to think like okay, how can I be myself? How can I? You can't force yourself to be yourself, you just be it. Right? But I, I was logicing it so much then on top of that I was kind of like flip flopping emotion, flip flopping emotionally this past week. So sometimes I get really annoyed and I noticed this week that I've still got like anger in my body, in my energy because something will happen that shouldn't make me annoyed and it does. For example, my beautiful little dogs will do something really naughty, really, really naughty. And I will say don't do that and then they'll do it again and I'll just be so angry and I obviously don't like get angry towards them, but I'll be so mad. And I know they can pick up on that energy, I know they can. So I really, it's. They've been such a good mirror for me to like see what kind of like impatience I still have within me or inability to like release control if they don't respect what I teach them or whatever. Like all of this stuff comes up when you get a puppy and I'm assuming a child and, and so yeah, this frustration and this anger was coming out towards the dogs and I've been noticing it since I've get. I've gotten them like on days where I'm feeling really relaxed and my nervous system is really regulated and I'm just connected to myself and I feel good. I'm able to tolerate so much bad behavior with the dogs, right? I have so much patience. I'm able to redirect them and train them and take them through everything really calmly. On days where my, my, my fuse is short, I'm just not able, I'm just not able and I have to kind of like step away and calm down and then come back and kind of readdress it. Cuz I don't want to take anything out towards them but they've really made me aware of all, like, the stuff that I still have repressed inside me. And the other thing that was just really stupidly annoying me was just, like, random text messages. Like, I was reading too much into the way people were messaging me. Like, loads of other little things. So anyway, I noticed that I kind of had got myself into a little bit of a headlock again with beating myself up, overthinking who I am, overthinking the way that I come across and all this other stuff, like getting down on myself because I'm not fun, that is. Anyway, and I started overthinking everything again this week, essentially, and I got this feeling of you're still holding something in your energy that's causing this. And I know it's not who I truly am. So the thing that I want you to start taking away from this at this point is if you're resonating with any of this, if you find that you're, like, questioning yourself, you feel like you don't know who you truly are, or you question it a lot, or you question the value of who you are authentically a lot, or you feel like you can't connect specifically to who you are authentically, then what I want to share with you is going to really, really help that. Because that's not your truth. Like, naturally, you are connected to who you truly are. Naturally, you do appreciate and value all the intrinsic qualities that you have. You are naturally playful and joyful and creative. Okay? So that's actually your essence. So if you're not connected to that, and if you're not feeling that, and if you're not perceiving the value of that and you're not able to just flow in that, then there's something blocking you from that. There's some trauma, there's some emotional wound, or there's something. It could be both, or all of these. Something going on in your nervous system that's stopping you from being able to connect to your body. So if you're feeling frustrated with yourself with the way you've been showing up with maybe this character you've been embodying, if you feel like it's not really aligned and it doesn't feel good, you do not need to force yourself to start acting as this random personality and trying to be all these things that you're not, all you need to do is remove the blocks to just connecting to who you actually are. Okay? So I wound up this week booking in this, like, healing session. Is that what I would even call it? Yeah, it was like an energy healing thing, which I've actually never done any energy healing. And I just thought it's high time that I practice what I preach and do something. And it was so interesting because when I booked that session, I kind of was looking for a scapegoat. Like I was feeling this kind of conflict inside me and this conflict about myself and not being connected to my truth and my personality, like my inner core of who I am, not being able to just play in that authenticity. It was coming out towards my content, which I'm so grateful I have this channel and I make content because again, it's just another mirror for me to see the internal stuff that's going on. So on the surface I was kind of feeling this, this disconnect from myself, but I was really feeling it in my external, in how I was approaching my content because I was overthinking it so, so much. And I don't really overthink it anymore, but because I was getting into this head space of, yeah, just nitpicking myself again, I started letting that leak into content. And I luckily didn't record any content for the, for the height of when I was feeling this. Thank God. And I'm so, like, I'm so divinely supported and protected because I went to the studio, I record in the studio on Tuesdays and, and all morning I was like, I can't do this, I cannot do this. Like, I really was overthinking so much that I didn't even know how to speak on Tuesday. And I went into the studio at 12 o' clock midday, as I do every Tuesday. And the power went out in the studio and nowhere else not down. Like there's a whole building with all these different things inside all these different units. That was the only unit where the power went out and it wasn't the fuse box. They had to call an electrician. And so I couldn't record on Tuesday. I was like, oh no. Damn it, thank you guys. Like, it was like I was given that grace period to not have to force through that. So anyways, thank the angels, the guides, whoever orchestrated that for me because, wow, I was just really, really overthinking it on Tuesday and I, I think the content I would have made then, I re recorded it this morning and it's going to be so much better because I was in such a better headspace for it this morning. So I went in then to do this healing session on Thursday with this practitioner and my notes that I had written for that let me actually Just find them and see, because I want to give you guys all the details. It was so interesting. It was feeling like I'm never doing enough, feeling like there's something that needs to be expressed in my content, but I'm in the way and feeling like I don't have my content figured out right. And then getting annoyed and angry randomly instead of staying in an energy of compassion, which I know is my true state. I went into this session, I didn't send these to the healer. And I went into this session and she was kind of like, okay, what's coming up? And I started talking about my content and my channel and my coaching and how I feel like, you know, sometimes I'm very clear and sometimes I'm not. And I was hoping because this woman has, like, mediumship and she has all these kind of channels opened up. I was. What I was actually low key hoping for was to sit down and for her to go, I, oh, yes, you're here for this, and this is the answer, and this is the solution, and you're amazing in a snowflake, and all you have to do is focus on this and that's gonna be your magical life dream come true. Honestly, low key. That's what I was hoping for. And I know that that's not how it fucking works, but some part of me was hoping for that. So I went in talking about my content, and anyway, she probably saw right, right through me. And we were talking about all different things, and she was like, can I do an energy read on you? And I said, yes, no problem. So we went into a meditative state, and I didn't realize until after, but she. Part of her mediumship is she can. What's the word? She can basically feel another person's energy, bodies, energy centers. So if you're sitting even in front of her or through her on a call, she can actually feel into where your emotional blocks are in your body. And I'm not joking, you guys. It was so insane. We sat down and we dropped into meditation and I honestly felt really, really nervous. I don't know why. I have this weird thing around mediums. I don't know what it is, but when they tell me they have psychic abilities, I get like, a little bit nervous. Like, I. I think like, oh, is there something like, are you gonna see into my soul and see a past life or see, like, some dark element of me? I don't, I don't know what that's about. It's like, you know that feeling when you're going through airport security. And you're like, they're gonna find the drugs in my bag. But there's no drugs in your bag. That's how I feel when someone tells me they're psychic. But I think, obviously I've probably processed a lot of that now through doing this. But that kind of kicked in. Like, I felt like I was going through airport security when we first dropped down. And I knew she was reading my energy centers. I was like, oh, my God, what is she gonna find? So anyways, she was kind of. My eyes were closed. We were meditating. And I hadn't said anything about, like, this anger, this frustration. She was saying, okay, you've got some wounding in your heart, in your throat. And she was like, your crown is wide open. You get so many divine insights. You've got really strong intuition, which is third eye, but you don't trust it. You don't really listen to it enough. You could trust it a whole lot more than you are. And I was like, you are so right. That's probably why I'm really here. And then she was like, why are you so angry? And I was like, oh, my God. She read me like, a book. And I just thought, I don't know why I'm angry. That is something I wanted to figure out today, that I didn't even mention on the call. And I said, I have nothing in my life right now to be angry about. Then I was asking myself, well, what have I been angry about that maybe I'm still on some level angry about that I haven't forgiven? And that unraveled this whole thing with my past with, like, some family things. And I realized there's so many things that have happened where I was angry, but I didn't really let myself feel that anger because I had to be the responsible one, and I had to be, like, the voice of reason, or else I always felt like I did. So we essentially unravel this whole thing about where that anger came from. And she was able to, like, feel where I could physically feel pain and have been feeling pain for years in the back of my heart center, like, in the back below my heart, kind of, like, right down there. And she was like, you've got a big wound here, and that's around betrayal. And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. So, like, one of my big cycles or big hurdles in this lifetime has been dealing with betrayal. And that has affected me so much in my relationships and in my ability to form connections with people, especially romantically. But I essentially was like, yeah, I was betrayed by almost everyone I trusted, by a few up until the last few years when I really started to break those cycles. So she. She kind of made the assumption that's probably something coming from a past life. But anyway, I was kind of discovering all these emotions and all these things I was still holding. And honestly, I don't think I've worked through them all. And I don't want to ever come on here and tell you guys that I'm perfect and whole. You can still live an amazing life. You can still have amazing things come into your life. You can still improve your life and not be completely healed and whole. But I don't want to give the impression that I'm whole and healed, okay? Because I'm not. I'm not. And this was just another layer that I didn't even realize was still there because we went into some inner child stuff. Then, like, we got to the root. To the root of some of those emotional wounds. And it was basically like the two biggest moments in my life where I was the most hurt and the most betrayed and the most let down. And I've gone to traditional therapy and spoken through those events, and I've journaled on them, and I've really thought I've processed them, but my body hadn't processed them. And, oh, my God, that's a different experience. So I was sitting there, and she was basically getting me to walk through this experience as the, like, four. The first one, I was probably around four, and then the second one, I was probably around seven. As those versions of me that was living that pain, and I let myself feel it, and I let myself feel all of the emotions. Oh, my God, you guys, I've. I felt 55 emotions yesterday, and I slept for the rest of the day. I actually got really run down after that, and I slept like it was insane. But, yeah, the first one was just, like, a lot of abandonment, a lot of just sadness and feeling like there was something wrong with me and feeling confused and all that. Felt it all. And one of the amazing things that she did, and this is something that I want to share with you. So this is really similar to, like, a shadow work meditation that I would recommend to clients and that I have in my community, where you essentially go to the part of you, right? Because that part of you is. It's a living, breathing part of you. It's still inside you. It's literally in. In your energy center, in your body, and you can pull it out and you can speak to it, which is what I Teach in the meditation. Or you can drop into it and feel the feelings that that part of you felt. Because once I felt them, they started to release. And then the next step that she did with me, which was so fucking healing, was she got me now to come in on this scene basically and to take little me's hand and and be like, you're okay, I've got you. Oh, I'm going to cry. And to give her a hug. And that you guys, oh my God, that did so much for me. And I think we don't realize how incredible we are. I didn't anyway, I did not until I started looking at myself through my inner child's eyes and I realized I'm the exact adult that I needed at that moment that would have been able to help me and heal me. I've become that woman. Yeah. Just seeing yourself as a grown up from the perspective of your inner child is insane. And having you now hug that inner child part of you and calm them down and validate them and saying, I'm here for you, I love you, I see you, I'm with you, you're valid. I can completely understand. There's nothing wrong with you. Whatever that child version of you needed to hear, you say to them now as that grown up version. And you let that child calm down. That is so healing. So again, I was able to do this in such an intense way because I had a practitioner walking me through this in a meditative state. And I've done very similar things like this, like solo in meditation. And it's really helped me so much. But for these like deep core wounds, this was just next level because you really feel the feelings, you really process those emotions. So I did that again with another block. After that I was emotionally spent. Like I felt every feeling you could imagine. So I just needed to relax. But I had this newfound love for myself and I really felt a lot of those more negative emotions that were inside me had released. And after I slept yesterday, like half the day and through the night and I woke up this morning, I just feel so much more connected to myself, like my true self. And that's who I feel like I've been a million miles away from. And the only thing that changed was I went inside and I visited those emotional blocks and those hurt parts of me and I gave them love. And this is why I'm saying, like, this is going to tie in with the nervous system and everything as well. But if you're feeling disconnected from yourself, it's because you're too much in your head and you've come out of your body. And the reason for that is probably because you've got emotional blocks stored in your body that you don't want to face because they might be painful. But feeling those feelings coming back into your body, doing like those kind of somatic healing practices coming back into your body, allowing yourself to process your feelings is so worth it. Because who you are when you're not in your body and you're just in your head all the time is not actually you. It's not actually you. And you're going to be thinking in ways that aren't you. You're going to be acting in ways that aren't you. And you're not even going to be able to perceive your value and who you really are at your core. So you're going to just be confused. You're going to be living your life wondering like, oh, is someone else doing it better? Like what? What's my path? How am I going to do this? How am I going to that? Questioning your self all the time like I was. That's not who you really are. That's not who you really are. When you're connected to your body, you're connected to your truth. You're connected to who you really are. You don't question stuff. You can kind of flow around through life. You can relax, you can have. Things come a lot easier. Things can be so much clearer. And you're not comparing, you're not second guessing yourself anymore. And that's available to everyone. But the ticket to getting there is sometimes through feeling those uncomfortable emotional wounds that are still in your body. Honestly, like I feel like my sense of humor is back. I'm just feel like I'm in my body. I feel like I have a sense of like play and fun and joy about me again. And not to. What's the phrase? Not to beat an old horse. That's not the phrase. Not to. I don't know what the phrase is. But not to wear this out basically is what I'm trying to say. This obviously makes sense because when you're in your head constantly, that's you constantly burning out in your logic, your conscious mind or your masculine energy, all of those are interchangeable. Your left brain, your logic. When you're connected to your body, that's when you're connected to your feminine energy. Your feminine energy is your play, your intuition, your creativity and your flow. So I started connecting some dots then on how this whole thing connects to the nervous system. If you feel disconnected from your body and you're overthinking all the time, that is actually a symptom that your nervous system is disregulated. If you can't feel present and still and actually rest, which honestly, I flip flop with it. I've spoken about it so much on this channel, but it's like my big cycle that I've been breaking through is developing this healthy relationship with rest and with my body and everything and letting go of that hustle and that survival mode that I've been in for my whole life. And if you're in that hustle logic driven mode all the time, it's actually also a sign that your nervous system is dysregulated. Now, I've pulled up on my phone, what is the nervous system? Because people talk about the nervous system all the time. And I want to actually explain what it is and I want to get this right because I don't know this off by heart. I've actually been learning about the nervous system a lot just this week. And there's probably going to be more stuff coming about it because I generally know what it is, I generally know how to help it and how to make it dysregulated, but I didn't really know exactly like everything about it. So. The nervous system is a complex communication network within the body composed of the brain, spinal cord, and network of nerves. It's responsible for coordinating and controlling all bodily functions, all of them, including thoughts, movements, senses, and basic life processes. So when your nervous system is dysregulated, it affects the way that you perceive things. It affects the way that your senses essentially work, which affects your perception. It affects your cognition, your thoughts, your learning, your memory, your energy, everything. It affects everything because all your energy in your body is being used up to keep you safe from this hypothetical danger that it thinks you're in. So this. I was taught a huge lesson by my puppy in this because she is very, very sensitive. And I had a feeling that my nervous system was dysregulated this week because I was opting more for soothing behaviors rather than doing my normal kind of regulating behaviors, which would be like going for walks and things like that. I wanted to emotionally numb, which is a sign that you're becoming disconnected from your body because you don't want to feel your emotions. And my dog has been such a big lesson for me in this this week because we started noticing she's very sensitive and especially when she's overstimulated or she's playing or she's overwhelmed she'll bark. She started just barking and we were thinking, what the hell? And when she gets into this state, no matter how many commands we give her, like, no matter how much we try to, like, coax her away or distract her, she's, like, hyper fixated on barking and being like this, and I was looking up loads of different stuff, and it turns out she's doing that because she's having trouble processing emotions and it's dysregulated her nervous system. So this is just how her body is reacting. And I literally did it with her two seconds ago. I had to turn the camera off and turn it back on because she started barking while she was playing with her sister. And I have to now bring her away and, like, take some deep breaths with her and distract her with something and eventually she does calm down and then she's actually able to, like, hear me give her commands and she's able to see things properly again. Right, so this is what I mean when I say, like, I can see it in my puppy. She's not herself when her nervous system is dysregulated because she's usually very, very quiet and well behaved. So it's the same for you. You've got to start thinking about yourself like this cute little puppy, because that's really what you are. We're all connected. We're all one. And. And all those inner child parts of you still exist. And instead of getting mad at yourself for, like, having no energy or feeling unmotivated or, like, wanting to soothe yourself or distract yourself, realize your nervous system is dysregulated and your nervous system is just trying to keep you safe. You want to instead treat yourself like a cute little puppy and say, what do you need to feel more present and grounded and to clock that you're safe? I literally, when I said clock, I got an image of, you know that video with Justin Bieber that's gone viral recently? He's like, it's not clocking to you, is it? That I'm standing on business. Oh, my God, that poor man. I love Justin Bieber and I just feel so bad that, like, everyone's making remixes about this video, which, you know, he's clearly trying to get a point across. But I think he. I think he's enjoying the remixes. I don't know. But anyway, yeah, you've got a clock. It's not clocking to you. You've got a clock that being mean to yourself, like, shouting at yourself when your nervous system is dysregulated for how you're behaving is going to keep dysregulating your nervous system. It's going to make you feel worse, it's going to increase your stress. You've got to look at what is going to actually make you feel more safe and more grounded. That's where the regulation of your nervous system begins. Because your nervous system gets dysregulated through stress. Stressful things happening, which life is inherently stressful, you guys, stressful things happening and not giving yourself the space to like shake that off like what animals do. Not giving yourself time to process the things that you've been dealing with. Not allowing yourself to be present in your body to feel whatever emotions you've got to feel and also from past traumas that you haven't allowed yourself to feel and heal from. So there's loads of different things, but those are like the main things that can cause you to stay in a perpetual state of fight or flight mode. And when you're in that state, you are not yourself. You can't see how amazing you are. You can't feel all the good feelings that you could normally feel. You can't see all the good possibilities that are right there. Because your nervous system is narrowing in. It's manipulating your entire body, your senses, your thoughts, everything, to focus on the negative and to focus on, on threats. So I want to leave you guys with a couple of points about the nervous system just to have something to go away with. I want you to start paying attention to how you actually feel in your body because it's so important and I want you to really like. My goal with this is I really want you to start connecting to yourself because you're so powerful naturally as you are authentically at your core. And I really want you to connect with that because you don't have to keep forcing and hustling. You just have to reconnect with who you really are. So I want you to start checking in with your body. Are you tense? Are you stressed? Are you in your head, overthinking regularly? And then I want you to realize, especially if there's something that you know has just emotionally triggered you, I want you to notice when you go to numb it, when you go to like self soothe through smoking it away, scrolling it away, whatever it away. And instead of doing that, I beg of you, be present in your body so you can make a list of things that are regulating behaviors rather than soothing. These are regulating so they actually connect you to your body. Calling a friend, going for a walk in nature, having A bath, doing a breath work, whatever it is. I want you to make a list of your go to things that you can do when you want to numb yourself and distract yourself away from feeling your emotions because I promise you it is so much better to just feel the feelings now. Let those process because if you don't, you're going to spend your whole life with these feelings underlying, driving these patterns of behavior that aren't really you and that are going to limit you. Feeling these feelings is going to set you free. I promise you it is so much better. So don't keep trying to run and escape because I'm telling you like I taught I didn't know what was going on with me this past week. I thought I had to figure so many things out and then I went to that session with that healer and I removed these emotional blocks and now I feel so clear and so connected to myself and I'm able to just flow and speak my truth. I'm able to play and have fun and not take life so seriously and just be who I am. And you have the ability to do that too. But it is your inability to sit and process your emotions and that blocks you from connecting to your truth and to your flow and to your ease. All the motivation, all the ideas, all the things that you're looking for outside you, they're right there inside you. You've just got to connect to yourself to find them. I'm going to leave you guys there. I don't want to make this too long. I don't know how long this is because I had to stop and start a lot with the doggies. But please remember, you are perfect and whole and complete and divine and you just have to remove anything that you're holding on to that's making you forget that. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you all have an amazing week. I love you all so much and I will see you next Sunday.