The Truth About Why You're Not Achieving Your Goals
Elay Amitay Halevi breaks down three reasons goals fail: a weak self-concept, chasing ego-driven goals instead of what matters, and resisting hard moments instead of learning from them. Identity has to shift first.
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Hi, friends, welcome back to the channel. Miss you guys, it's been a week. Sorry if this is shaking. I have you literally on the couch here. But today is gonna be a fun video. So today we're gonna talk about the main mistakes that people make when they're trying to change their lives. And the reason why people get really stuck, really miserable, and often end up actually feeling worse than when they started, when they go down this path. And I've written three here on this fun little piece of paper. What's fun about a piece of paper? I don't know, but I've written three of them here. But it's more than likely as I go through this, I will remember some more. And literally as I'm speaking now, I can think of some. But I want to just go through these because if you're trying to level up, change your life, shift timelines, quantum leap, glow up, whatever you want to call it, if you want something different for your life, you could end up feeling like you're in a bit of a prison because you don't understand that you're falling into one of these traps. So let's go through it today. The first one that I've got written here is universe. You immediately might know what I'm talking about here, but anything and everything that you can perceive in your world is a reflection of you, just pushed out. You see the universe around you through the lens of who you are. So this is the biggest mistake people make. And that's why it's first, if you think you don't deserve good things, if your self concept is awful and you don't have any self esteem, then you will not be be able to bring in good experiences into your life. Not consistently anyway. You won't be able to maintain them, you won't be able to change them. You won't, you just won't. This is like literally level one. And so many people, they want to come in here and they want to set a goal. And if I get the goal, then that means I'm good enough. No, no, no, no. You have to be the person first who deserves the goal and then you get the goal. You do not go to a competition, a weightlifting competition, and suddenly achieve the goal of clean and jerking 100 kilos without first becoming the version of you who can clean and jerk 100 kilos. You do not get the promotion at work until you genuinely, honestly believe that you are the version of you who deserves that promotion. But this is also why people who seem to have it easy in Life who seem to be very lucky seem to always get what they want. The reason that that happens to some people and not others is because some people have a very strong self concept. So even if we from the outside are looking at these people and we're thinking Susan did not deserve that job, Sharon's been working so much harder than Susan. If what's going on in Sharon's head is, Sharon, you're a piece of shit. Sorry, Sharon, you're good for nothing. Sorry. This is Sharon speaking to herself, by the way. You're good for nothing. No one is ever gonna promote you. Why would anyone ever believe in you? All of this kind of negative self talk. Whereas in Susan's head, Susan's saying to herself, you are that you deserve all the abundance, you deserve all the love. You are capable, you are strong, you are smart, you are rewarded, you are. What's the word I'm looking for? Deserving. You are cherished. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Recognize that's not the word I'm for. You know the word. Okay, who do you think is going to get the promotion? Yes, skills will come into it, but energy says things that words and actions and skills do not. Now words, actions and skills do compound and feed into your energy. But, but some people, a lot of people go throughout life and they don't ever let themselves build up high self esteem or high self worth no matter how hard they work. So I'm not saying you should sit on your ass and do nothing and say, I'm amazing, I deserve the world and everything else and I'm not going to do anything for it. That is selfishness. That is ego behavior. You don't want to do that. But what happens and what I'm trying to get you to avoid is going about your life and really honestly doing your best and really actually working hard and getting absolutely fucking nowhere. Which is what most people do. Because nothing you do is ever good enough in your own eyes. And you never identify as the version of you who can actually have things, who actually deserves miracles, abundance, good things to happen to you. And if you don't see yourself that way, why would the universe see you that way? Why would God treat you like that? If you're accepting, then whatever blessings are possible for you won't come in. Because you're essentially saying, I'm good with this and this is all I deserve. Anyway, the universe will say, okay, that's all you deserve, that's fine. So this is really. If we zoom this out again, this goes back to the three Planes of existence, mental, physical, and spiritual. If you're mentally vibrating at a frequency where your identity is miles away from where it needs to be in order to have what you want, then you're not going to get what you want. And it's as simple as that. So the number one thing that I teach my clients in the community, we go and we do an avatar exercise, and I've actually done here on YouTube as well, so you can watch it for free if you want, called stopping yourself if you hate your life. Where essentially you write down, you draw a stick figure. Because, listen, I don't make up the rules, guys, but the stick figure helps, right? You draw the stick figure and then you bring your goal to mind and you say, hey, this is me now, right? Can this version of me who's wandering through life with my habits and my routines and my beliefs about myself in the world, can they have that goal? Like, honestly, seriously, is that the person to achieve that goal? It's probably not. It's probably not. And then you want to write another stick figure beside the stick figure and say, who is the person that can achieve that goal? And then you focus on becoming that person and you let go of the goal entirely. People try to just work and work and work without realizing that you. You're basically running away from yourself by trying to put all your worth into a goal. And the way you get the goal is by realizing your worth now and showing that to yourself now, and then the rest will follow. So the most powerful thing you can do, really, when you're starting on this journey, is to just. First, you need to actually bring your energy back to yourself. Start paying attention to yourself. Start noticing your own patterns, your unconscious bullshit. Your unconscious bullshit that is getting you skating by in life, like in fear mode, just doing things because you're comparing or doing things out of ego, right? And all these things, you need to figure out what your levers are, what's driving you, what's holding you back? Who the hell are you? Why do you want what you want? Why are you afraid of what you're afraid of? What actually inspires you? What actually gets you going? What actually slows you down? When you start figuring that out, that's when you start actually mastering your life. It's not by closing your eyes and saying your prayer and an affirmation. No, no, no. You need to get your attention back off all the bullshit you've been putting it on. Because your attention and your awareness are your two superpowers in life. When you were born and you came here, you were given consciousness and you were given free will to spend it on things. And if you spend your whole life spending your consciousness on things that just drain your energy, you're gonna have nothing left to create what you want. So you must bring your consciousness back to yourself, to the body that you're in right now. Pay attention to your thoughts, pay attention to your mind. Pay attention to the things that actually fill you up and bring you joy. Everything comes back to you and how you're viewing and treating yourself. And then when, once you do that, then it's on you to stop betraying yourself and start building self trust and self worth from within. And when you do that, that's when miracles and things just start happening to you. When you truly know and you believe in the core of your being that you are valuable, that you are deserving of good things, that is the biggest, most foundational, most monumental step. Okay? Because if you don't do any of that, you're never actually on a deep subconscious level gonna believe that it's possible for you to have good things. And it doesn't take long to do this. I'm sorry. If you can hear the wind noise, by the way, it's really windy. It doesn't take long to do this. Not at all. If you literally do this inner work, write down the things that you're scared of, write down the reasons that you feel like you're not deserving, overcome them, you know, fight back against those reasons, come up with reasons why you are deserving, and reaffirm them to yourself and really believe in them. Immediately, you will see a shift. Immediately. As soon as you start actually realizing that and believing that, you will see a shift. The problem is you. This stuff is unconscious. So there's probably stories going on in your brain that have been there since you were a child. And those stories, you can't hear them because they're in your subconscious mind. But those are the things that are making you feel like you don't deserve anything. Those are the things that are really keeping you stuck where you are. No matter how hard you work, you do not get the rewards because you have a shitty self concept, but because you haven't dug into your own unconscious bullshit and realized what's going on in there. And that's what's creating your results. That's what's creating your energetic field, your energetic vibration, that's what's attracting things to you, that's what's stopping you from taking certain actions, and it's motivating you to take other actions that might be limiting you. It all starts in here. Now you can flip that. Absolutely. You can flip that. So you can always rewrite your, you can, you can go to the belief level, you can dig into your unconsc patterns, you can be very fucking aware of yourself and how you're thinking and acting and rise above that and then start to rewrite it. And you can also, on the flip side, I recommend you do both these. You don't just sit on your ass. You can trick your paradigm and your conception of yourself. You can actually trick that by taking action. Okay, so for example, if you think that you are one way and you'd never be capable of doing this particular thing. So let's say riding a motorbike. That's such a stupid example. Riding a motorbike and you're like, oh so and so is so cool. They ride a motorbike. I wish I could do that. I could never do that. See that? I could never do that. That's an example of you having low confidence in yourself to take on new things. And anytime that rears its head, it's an opportunity for you to show yourself some self trust and to show yourself that you deserve to have access to different things in life by saying, I'm gonna do it right? And you go and do something that's way out of your comfort zone. You go and do something that your old self would never ever believe that you could do. And by doing that, you actually trick and train your self concept into thinking and realizing you're giving it evidence. You're like, look, we are capable. Because anything that's in your subconscious, if you have low confidence, if you, you have low self trust, if you have low self esteem, that is just a paradigm that's been created by your mind by your experiences that you've had up to date and how your brain has interpreted those experiences. So you can use your physical 3D and you can take actions that counteract those experiences and that will also change your paradigm and your vibration. So you can do both. You can get in, you can get the awareness, you can write it down, you can pay attention, you can meditate and visualize your thoughts and, and visualize yourself standing there and look at, look at you. Like visualize yourself in your mind's eye. Look at you and then look all around you. What are the beliefs of this person? That will show you, sorry, the wind is blowing so hard, something just went flying. That will show you. If you do that exercise, literally just close your eyes and call your attention back into your body. I'm going to do a meditation as well. Before people ask in the comments, I am going to post a meditation soon, so it will be all about this. But if you close your eyes and call your attention back into your body and you visualize yourself now standing in front of you and you think, what are that person's beliefs, limiting beliefs? What does that person think about themselves? You will see because you've taken your awareness outside yourself and you're looking at yourself objectively, you will actually be able to see that. So that's one part is just having a high level of awareness of yourself and your patterns. And then the second part is when you need the first part really to identify the second part. But the second part is when you see yourself limiting yourself physically and saying like, I can't do this, I can't do that, and you're stopping yourself. You can trick those limits that you've placed in your mind by taking the actions that completely run through those limits. That's the fastest way to do it. But you need the awareness first. So that's the first part. And the first problem to this, People are looking outside and they're skipping this very basic internal work where you need to be aware of your own shit, you need to be aware of your own patterns. You need to be strong enough to, in the moment where it's uncomfortable, overcome your old patterns. And that's how you start to develop a strong self concept and high self worth. And until you can say to me, and look me in the eye and say to me, I, I know I deserve 100% with my whole heart, everything I'm wishing for, then you're not going to get everything that you're wishing for. So that. Do not skip step one. It's all about how you feel. And this is why lucky girl syndrome was such a big thing. And I did like it because it got people thinking, right? So if, if you don't actually tend to this and instill a way of thinking and believing about yourself that actually serves you and makes you feel good, you're. You're gonna revert to your autopilot way of being. So this is something like a garden, you need to water it. And what you want to water is the seeds that make you feel good in your life. And you need to really consciously go and do that and be very specific. Like when you go out into the world, how do you want to feel about yourself? How do you want people to treat you? How do you want to Treat people, What impact do you have? Who do you want to be to other people? Right? All of these little things, you can decide to do them and have them, but you have to do the work yourself. You have to set the intention yourself. And this stuff works. Like you can be so specific with it. Like people give me free stuff, or people always want to do nice things with me, or I have really genuine conversations with people all the time. Everywhere I go, I find it easy to connect with people. And even when I'm saying that you might be thinking, that's not me, it's not you, because you're running an autopilot way of being, it can be you. If you just interrupt that way of being and instill a new way of being and then go out in the world and create evidence for that, it can be you. So that is part one. The second one we have here is look at me playing on words today. I don't know what's up with me. Eagles, that doesn't, that doesn't ring as well as universe, doesn't it not anyways, I just figured that out by accident. I thought I was smart. Okay, Eagles, so lets talk about goals for a second. You only ever want a goal because of how you think that goal will make you feel. You want a goal because of the person you become in the process of achieving the goal. You might be looking at me thinking, no, I want the fucking goal. Like I want the car, I want the job, I want the business, I want the house. Yes, yes, you do want that. But you, what you want more is what it represents to you. That's what you actually want. So if you came here and you were born and you just were handed a Ferrari at the age of 10 or 5, let's say 5, you were handed a Ferrari at the age of 5, by the time you're 15, 20, that Ferrari means nothing to you. It means nothing to you, right? Compare that to you came from absolutely nothing. You worked your way up from the ground up. You built a company, you saved the money, you invested the money, you got the money, you bought the Ferrari. And what does it symbolize? It symbolizes your success. It symbolizes your progress, right? It symbolizes the evolution of your character. It symbolizes the impact you've probably had in the world through your business. It symbolizes growth, expansion, fulfillment. And why does the second one feel so much better? Because the whole reason that we're here on this earth in these meat suits, having this crazy experience as human beings is because we were here to create Inner fulfillment from within. How do we do that? By overcoming our negative traits. By overcoming all our ego driven reactions, impulses, overcoming all the challenges, all the obstacles that happen by virtue of us living in this polarized world. The reason we're here in this world is because we were supposed to experience darkness and light. By virtue of us experiencing darkness, we can appreciate the light. By virtue of someone experiencing no Lamborghini, no Ferrari, no car, no nothing, no bicycle. Their enjoyment of a sports car is going to be completely on a whole other level than someone who was born in a sports car. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because you have had the capacity to suffer. The more capacity you actually have for suffering, the more you have for fulfillment. So I need you to know and understand that your goals are not about the material thing. And your ego is going to try to tell you they are. Because your ego is a very limited thing in comparison to your higher self or your godlike nature. So the ego is the part of you that has been created by your environment since you came here. You came down, you descended onto this physical plane of existence. And ego, self was created by virtue of you thinking and perceiving and having consciousness. Here a form of self was created through that. Okay? And that is ego self. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is. It exists. Sometimes it limits you, sometimes it helps you. But ego is created in large part unless you've mastered this by perceiving the things in the physical world, by taking in that information and processing it and internalizing it and making it mean something about the self. That's what ego is. So ego is created by your circumstances and environment. But you also have within you a higher self, some could say. Or you have a God like capacity within yourself as well. Well, so we all have a lower plane of consciousness, which is ego. And that is like a reactive, impulsive state of being. Plane of consciousness. And then we have the higher plane of consciousness, which is higher self. So that is actually above the illusions of physical reality. That is when you're able to zoom out and look at yourself, look at your patterns, look at your environment, look at the circumstances with perspective and awareness, and not internalize it. That is higher self consciousness. And your higher self is unlimited. It's not swayed by everything around you. It's not as easily triggered by the things going on in your life. So the trap that people fall into to bring that all back is they set a goal and they, their ego sets a goal and they think, I want $100,000, I want a Ferrari because I would feel good about myself, then that's ego. Because I would look cool, then that's ego. Anything that is selfish or has that kind of energy of like greed, self indulgence, that's ego. On the other hand, you've got soul goals. So these are goals such as giving back to others, helping the community, having an impact, selflessness, helping other people, everything like that, expansion, fulfillment, joy, connection. These are goals that are driven by your higher self. And so when you think about your goal, even if it is to have sports car, that's fine, that's not a problem. But you want to ask yourself, why do I want that goal? Because it's not about the goal, it's not about the car, it's about what it means to you. And the more you focus and focus on the car and how it will make you look cool, the more you satisfy your ego and the more you disconnect yourself from your higher self. And when you disconnect from your higher self, you miss out on the unlimited potential ideas that can come in and be downloaded from the spiritual plane. So this is not going to be a video about ego and higher self. I'll just explain this very quickly. The ego driven, reactive, impulsive, selfish, tending voice within you is going to try to broadcast into your mind as much as possible. But when you zoom out, when you make it not all about you, when you see the bigger picture, when you act selflessly, when you act from a place of love and faith, all of these things that cause you to rise above the ego onto the higher plane of consciousness. When you do that, you turn down the broadcast of ego voice into your mind. Who's only gonna, the ego is only ever going to present you with fear based actions. It's gonna have you running through life in fear mode, taking actions out of fear and desperation. And it's gonna have you thinking in very, very limited terms. You're going to switch from that to being able to think in more open terms, in unlimited possibilities. Maybe not 100 unlimited because you're, you're not like spiritual God source, that's really unlimited. We're still limited compared to that. But ego compared to higher self is night and day. So you tap into so many more possibilities, much more intuition aligned action when you think about your goals from the perspective of your higher self. Because even if for example, you want to do something because you want the money that it brings, okay, look at money, then you want money, just money. That's ego. If you just want money and you're not saying anything else and you just, I just want this much money. I want it because I feel better. That's ego. Okay, if you want it because you can make a community center for people with mental illness and you can help. Help other people and you go to Africa and you can do this and you can create more content and whatever, whatever your reasons are, if that's what you think about. When you think about money, the ideas, the associations, everything around that is going to be completely different. Who you are as a person is going to be completely different. When you think about money, you're going to think, how can I give back? How can I be of value? And when you act like that already before you have all the money, that's how you tap into the version of you who has all the money. And the money will just come. So you're really. When you're doing this work, people set a goal and they get very narrow, focused. How you stop that is you zoom all the way back out and you think like, what is the impact of this? Right. It's not about this one thing. Okay, this is my last point. This is related to the ego point, but it's a little bit different. The last mistake that people make is they get into resistance because they want what they want. And when they don't get what they want exactly, or their reality is reflecting back to them, something completely different, they say, no, I'm not dealing with that. That's not my reality. That's not my life. And they resist and resist whatever is going on in their life in the present moment. So when you do that, you close yourself off to the actual lessons and the blessings that are here right now in the present moment. And how you react to whatever's happening right now in the present moment is what creates your future. Nothing else actually is really in our control, except for that. But when you start trying to refuse what's before you right now, which might be something that you get a little bit confused with, because a lot of videos, including mine, say, just ignore what's happening before you. What matters most is your mental reality. And that's true, but it's when you are not just really ignoring it, you're not looking at it from a different perspective, but you're. You're hating it. Like you're pushing it away, you're refusing to accept it. That's a different energy and that's going to cause you to get into a rut. Because when you resist something, it persists. And every single thing in your life Is there for a reason. It is there to teach you something. And when you get into a down period, specifically when you get into a rut, because progress is not linear. Let me show you right here. This is progress. Never, ever in the history of anything has progress been linear. You come up a little bit and then you dip, and then you come up a little bit and then you dip back down. You need the dips. There's cycles to everything in life. The law of rhythm, of hermeticism. Everything happens, everything ebbs and flows. There's cycles to everything. The seasons change, the tide ebbs and flows. The mental states of man also ebb and flow. You're always going to be ebbing and flowing in life. And the trick is you resisting is you being in your ego and staying on the lower plane of consciousness. So when that pendulum swings, you're trying to fight back because you're, you're like, I, that's not who I am. That's not who I am. That's not who I am. When actually the only thing you have to do is zoom out enough to be able to accept it. You don't have to accept it and want to stay forever, but you have to accept it to the point that you're able to actually honestly look at what's going on and have awareness about it. Because if you don't do that, you're not going to hear whatever this down period or this bad phase or whatever it is. You're not going to hear what it's here to teach you. And every single time you go into a dip like this, you will always gain something. And that something is going to bring you back up to a level higher than you've ever been before. If you would just shut up and listen and stop resisting it. Even though it's painful, even though you have to face maybe something uncomfortable within yourself, even though maybe it's something you have to give up or let go of or change or whatever. The longer you resist it, the longer you. It will persist and the longer you will put off actually being able to gain the wisdom that you need to get to the next level. So when we talked about a minute ago, the ego and the higher self, the lower and the higher plane, right, the lower plane, that is where the pendulum swings. And so for you, when this happens, instead of getting into a fight down here, that's ego. You want to rise above as higher self and higher self accepts, you have a higher level of awareness. That's why it's higher self. So when shit starts going wrong before you get to your goals. Remember me saying this, the sooner you accept and just have unjudgmental, unbiased awareness on what's going on, the sooner you will understand it. And when you understand something, it will naturally release and you will naturally evolve to the next level. That's literally how it works. And to break this down on an even more detailed level for you, the more parts of your consciousness are contradictory to what you want, the more those parts are going to flare up, the closer you get to your goal. Every consciousness can split and fragment as soon as we come here. Our consciousness is pure and whole, but it begins over time to split and fragment into different parts. These can be categorized as vulnerable parts of yourself that have been hurt, that are pushed into the shadows and protector parts of yourself that keep you from ever having to feel like that again and keep you from ever looking at those parts of you again. And when you're going throughout life and you're approaching a situation, let's say for example, you're going to be like doing a public speaking event. This is just an easy example. If you have a vulnerable side to yourself that you've pushed into the shadows, who hates public speaking, who is embarrassed in front of other people, then as you become closer to making this decision or to doing this event, that part of you is going to be flaring up in tons of different ways. And until you hear that part of you out, until you sit with that part of you in a non judgmental way and you take your ego out of it and you rise above ego and you just look and you say what's going on? Then it's never ever going to be understood. And if you don't hear it out and you don't understand it, then you're not going to be able to actually soothe it and tell it like, oh, hey, I know this happened years ago, but now you're actually okay and we're safe because because of this, this, this and this, you're not going to be able to do that because you're too busy fighting it. And it's not going to go anywhere if you just keep fighting it. So I'm not going to get into that too much. Those are the main three points that I wanted to touch on today. You are the universe pushed out. When you're trying to manifest something, focus on yourself, focus on how you will feel, focus on the version of you that you will be, focus on the impact that you will have and not from an ego perspective like I'm going to be so cool. I'm going to be so hot, everyone's going to love me. No. Take your selfishness out of it, but still focus on your identity. You really want to focus on who is your higher self, who is the version of you? What is the impact you're going to have? And then how do you show? How do you have to show up to be that version? Then you want to look at the goals that you're setting. Are they coming from your ego? What are you making them mean, if anything? And how can you, every time you think about it, make it about the meaning, make it about your character, because that's what a goal is actually about. And then the third one is resistance. Stop resisting the lessons and the cycles of life. Instead, just have awareness and it will be overcome way more quickly when you do that. Okay, that's all for this video, guys. I hope it helped. Please remember, you've got everything you need inside you to live a life of fulfillment, alignment, abundance, whatever you desire. All you need to do is tune back into yourself, take your energy back, take your power back, and let go of everything else. I hope this video helped and I will see you in the next one.
