Elay Amitay HaleviElite Trading Performance Coach

What if you’re resisting what you’re made to do?

30 Jun 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:42

In this candid monologue, the speaker reflects on an early YouTube experience where initial enthusiasm turned into self‑sabotage. After posting a few videos, they felt insecure, inadequate, and unable to continue creating. They recognize a hidden part of themselves that craved viral success as proof of worth, linking this craving to perfectionism. By sitting with these feelings, the speaker learns to reassure that modest view counts are sufficient, releases the need for external validation, and begins to untangle perfectionism from self‑esteem. The narrative illustrates a process of resistance, self‑observation, and gradual acceptance of imperfect creative output.

Chapters

This is one I didn't expect. When I started on YouTube, I posted a couple of videos and then I started sabotaging. I couldn't post anymore and I was like, what is going on? I felt terrible. I felt insecure. I felt inadequate. I was like, why can't I create? What is up with me? And I sat down with myself. I resisted it for months, which is what you do when you feel bad, you resist it. And then I was like, okay, I need to lean into this and figure out what's going on. So I sat down and I realized that there was a part of me, a little part of me that wanted my first couple of YouTube videos to go viral because that would mean that I'm finally good enough. Oh man. Yeah. So it was going back to that same thing. So I had to sit with that part and go, hey, look, you can get 100 views and you're still good enough and da da da. Release that part. And for me, perfectionism as well was linked to that. So that's something I had to work through with that as well.