You and your flaws are "good enough"

Something that absolutely breaks my heart about us as human beings is that we all think we're more flawed, we're more imperfect, we're less worthy than the person next to us. Most of us, unless you have narcissistic tendencies, think that there's something inherently flawed or wrong with us. And that's why we can't have X, Y and Z and other people can. It's part of the human condition to when something painful happens, especially when we're younger, to internalize that pain and make it mean something bad about us and then push that down, down, down so deep inside that years later we just have this underlying feeling of not good enough, of not capable. And we don't know where that comes from and we don't understand why. We look at other people and other people seem to just be able to go for what they want and get what they want in life. But. But we can't even think about going for what we want in life because we don't feel worthy. We don't feel like we are good enough, smart enough, whatever, enough to go for what we want. And it comes down to, even if you see people in life that are not inherently good people, people that get what they want and get good things in life, they see themselves as a person of high value. They have high self esteem. What does self esteem mean? It means a person who just inherently likes and accepts themselves. Likes and accepts themselves. How much do you like yourself? How much do you accept yourself? Not easy questions to answer. And you may brush it off and you may think, yeah, I like myself, yeah, I accept myself. But when you look at the results in your life and you look at this yearning and this desire that you have to go for something more, to have something more in your life that will actually answer that question for you accurately. Because if you're stopping yourself from going for the things that are truly going to be fulfilling to you and make you really, actually genuinely happy, then that is an indication that you don't have high self esteem because you don't value yourself enough. You don't see yourself of high enough value. You don't like yourself enough, you don't accept yourself enough to think that you actually can have these things. So you may brush it off and think, yeah, I do like myself. But if you're preventing yourself from having a life that means something to you, if your life is not making you happy, then ask yourself again. And this is the basis of everything. And this is. It breaks my heart because everybody struggles with this. The problem is Most people don't even realize that this is why they don't go for things in life. First of all, people aren't even aware that they're preventing themselves from even considering that life could be better for them. That's like stage one is you're unaware of the fact that you are limiting yourself. Then you become aware of the fact you're limiting yourself. But you still can't face into the fact that it could change for you. Then you try to face into the fact that it could change for you. And that's where you get stuck. Because you do not think that you are capable or worthy of changing into this new version of reality or this new life that you want. So your desire clashes with your self esteem and you get stuck and you cannot take the action. And this is where most people fall down and they get stuck because they don't understand why they're stuck. They don't understand why they feel like they're not good enough. Most people don't understand themselves. And this is what everything goes back to. No matter what problem you're facing, almost every problem in your life can be overcome by you just looking back inside yourself and understanding internally what is going on with you. Your motivation, your willingness to show up authentically, your drive, your ability to do the work, your ability to face your fears, your ability to feel better, okay, to demand more. These things all will make sense and will all flow for you when you first actually understand yourself and all the parts of you. So each person individually has a million different parts inside their consciousness. You can think of it as having like loads of little different personalities. You can think of it as having like loads of little different personalities. At the point where a stressful event happens or there's an event that causes a surge of emotion, yourself, your consciousness splits and fragments into two sections. Your vulnerable self and your protect yourself. And these little splits happen all throughout our lives. Especially when things happen that hurt us. And eventually over time, a Persona is made of all of our protector aspects. But when we have vulnerable parts of ourselves that we push into the dark that we don't understand and that we deny, those are the parts that cause trouble down the line. Because when you push something into the dark, you become ashamed of it. And when you're ashamed of parts of yourself and you deny parts of yourself, you will not feel like you are good enough because you're carrying around a high level of shame of yourself. So this is the biggest thing. When people are trying to go after things in life and they, they feel ashamed of who they truly are. It makes it so much more difficult. But they wonder what it actually is. It's this. It goes this deep. And if people were to actually just take the time to understand and control all the different parts of themselves, not just the parts that they find are acceptable, but even the parts that they feel should be put in the dark, that is what heals, that is what sets you free from shame, and that is what sets you free from feeling not good enough. When you accept the darker parts of yourself, they no longer feel like they're stopping you from being good enough. And then you feel like other people will be okay accepting them as well. If you're so afraid of being rejected for being authentic, if you're so afraid to go for something because you feel like you're going to be judged, it's likely that is coming from the fact that you are judging and rejecting parts of yourself. And the first step to getting over this and to becoming unstoppable in your life and having unshakable drive, clarity, motivation, confidence, happiness, fulfillment, is you first accepting the parts of yourself. Why would you. Why would you think anyone else would accept them when you find them so acceptable that you can't even admit that they're there, that they're so far pushed in the dark that you don't even know they exist anymore? Consciously, okay? So as you build awareness and understanding of yourself and how you actually think and feel and operate on what you actually want and are motivated by what you're actually scared of and where that those fears and those beliefs have come from, you get back in the driver's seat in your life because you understand your unique attributes, your unique levers for your emotions and your drives and for everything that actually aligns with your you. Because you're no longer suppressing and hiding and putting on this Persona that you've built up over the years. So the Persona, so long as you're in the Persona and you're running from vulnerable parts of yourself, you're going to have a lot of shame. And if you have a lot of shame, you're going to find it very difficult to feel worthy or good enough. So voicing to yourself before anybody else the things that you're scared of, the things that you're ashamed of, the things that you push way down, writing them out in a journal and being really honest about them, speaking them out loud to yourself, not trying to solve anything, by the way, not trying to solve a single thing, just seeking to hear and understand will get you so much further in life than any trick, any hack, anything else. And this is something that people don't want to do because it's not. It does. It's not sexy. It's not like a tip that's going to, like, propel you forward or like, get you $10,000 in a month. It doesn't sound like that, but it is the key to unlocking the understanding of how to actually be in the driver's seat of your life. And I say driver's seat because I recently heard this example of, you can imagine your life. You're living your life as if you're trying to drive a car, okay? And you spend your whole life, which is what most people do, looking out the window, looking at everyone else driving their cars and trying to look at them and how they're driving their car and trying to learn by looking at them driving their car, how to drive your car. And you don't actually ever look in your car and understand where your brake is, where your gas pedal is, where your steering wheel is. You have no idea. And you wonder why you keep crashing into the wall. You don't understand your own car. You don't understand your own self. You don't understand your own mind. So you're gonna be going to nowhere town in that car until you figure out how to actually drive it. That is as simple as you can explain this. The minute you understand yourself is the minute you unlock the keys to everything that is aligned with you. Until then, you're just literally driving blind. So I'm not just going to tell you to look at all these vulnerable or scary or not so pleasant parts of yourself without giving you some words of reassurance. Everybody has flaws. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has vulnerable, hurt aspects of themselves. And everybody has protector aspects of themselves. Every single person, every single form of consciousness can split and fragment. And it does. So we all have all hundreds of traits inside us. Some would be deemed good, some would be deemed bad. The people that you admire most and look up to most are. Are just as flawed as you are. Maybe not the same type of flaws, but everybody is flawed. So please make peace with that. We have this condition where we always think that we are more flawed than the next person. Especially if we're going into a new field or we're trying to do something new. We come up with all these reasons why we're not good enough and how the people already doing it are definitely not as flawed as we are. And so how you. How do you get around this? How do you get around this, you identify the actual things you're telling yourself as to why you're not good enough to have what you want, really honestly identify them, get to the root of them, get in the uncomfortable thing, and then ask yourself, is there evidence that this is not true for somebody else? So is there evidence of a person having what I want and having these same or similar flaws? Because that's going to break in your mind, the fact that you think that you can't have something just because you're not perfect. Nobody is perfect. We just established that. And when I was Starting to make YouTubes, I was waiting to be perfect, to start. I was waiting to figure my life out before doing this. Because I didn't feel good enough until I had figured out all of my flaws. And as I was going throughout life, I seemed to be, like, solving some things, but still, it's an. It's an ongoing thing. You're going to be waiting forever to be perfect. It's probably never going to happen. So what I did instead was I looked at how I could break this belief because I was tired of not going for it. And I looked at my favorite creators, the people I admired most on YouTube, and I looked at how they were not perfect. And I made a list. I made a list of evidence about all the flaws that were the same, some that were different, but, like, all the things that made me feel like I was not more flawed than these people, that we were all just on the same level. And then that changed something in me. And I realized people who get what they want in life, people who go for what they want and get what they want and have good things happen to them, and they. They genuinely just live the life they want to live. They do not make their imperfections mean that they're not good enough to have what they want. They know they're imperfect, but they accept that. They accept the uglier parts of themselves, and they don't make it mean that they don't deserve what they want in life. That is the difference. So you are making your imperfections mean that you don't deserve good things. And that's the problem. You may not consciously know you're doing this. And that's why I said, if you feel shame or not good enough on any level, then this is probably what's happening on a subconscious level. If you're stopping yourself from even considering that your life could be better, then this is probably what's happening on a subconscious level. You have things that you're burying deep down that are causing A feeling of underlying shame. And until you accept those things and you just say, those are there, I understand them and I accept them, and they're not going to mean that I can't have what I want. Then you're going to stay stuck where you are. And no amount of hacks, no amount of manifestation tricks are going to get you around that. You may see a bit of progress, but then this thing is going to bite you in the ass and pull you back down because you're so unaware of yourself and the things going on internally that you're struggling with that you can't hack your way out of it. You have to look within. Shame can only exist in the dark. When you put something in the dark. So maybe it was like this little hurt, this little vulnerability, you were hurt in this moment. You felt embarrassed about something and you put it away in the dark, never to look at it again. It was too painful to look at. And the more and more you push it away and leave it in the dark, the uglier and uglier it gets. It turns into a hairy monster, when actually it was just this tiny little baby gremlin and it was. It was just a bit angry and hurt. And now it's a big scary monster because you put it in the dark. And all you have to do to reduce it and make it feel less scary and less hurtful to you so that it doesn't limit you anymore, is you take it out of the dark. How do you do that? You just admit it to yourself. You express it through writing or speaking. You seek to understand it without changing it. And that's all. The awareness is enough. Awareness of the darker parts of yourself with compassion for yourself will get you places that all these hacks, all these other tricks and tips will never, ever, ever get you. It'll get you back to alignment, fulfillment and self acceptance. And when you're there, the world is your oyster. So the reason I say compassion is because this can get really brutal and really mean to the point where you're living a life that is almost cruel to yourself because of this underlying shame and this feeling that you don't deserve good things. It really, really breaks my heart to see people act like this and show up like this and live their life like this. Because the fact that you're a human being, you have so much value. The fact that you came here and incarnated and are living here, okay, as a human being, that gives you inherent value automatically. And all this other meaningless stuff that's added onto that, like it doesn't mean anything, really. How you perceive yourself then is tainted after you're born by basically what happens in your childhood, mostly shock and how you internalize that as a child. And when you're a child, you don't understand much outside of yourself and your own experience. So we're all pretty narcissistic as children because that's the parts of our brains that are more developed than others. So when things happen, we internalize things as children and make it mean there's something wrong with us. So especially if you had any difficulties or conflicts growing up as a child, most often than not, we choose to decide that that means there's something wrong with us because it's actually easier for our child brains to do that. It feels better to do that because if there's something wrong with us, that means, oh, we can fix ourselves and change ourselves, so then maybe this situation will get better. Okay? The alternative to that is accepting that you can't trust your parents or you're not. You can't rely on anyone. Like that is actually a scarier alternative. So instead our brain opts for there's something wrong with us, and. And we must fix something, we must change something, and then we'll be accepted or we'll be seen, or we'll be heard. And it doesn't even have to be big things that are happening. It can just be that you're not exactly getting the right level of nurturing care that you need at certain moments in your life. Right? And so these little tiny things as we're children happen and create tiny fr. And create tiny little fractures and little pockets of shame that just grow and grow and grow. The more we leave them in the dark and they compound the more we go throughout life and we keep adding, and we never take the thing out of the dark to look at it and just genuinely be like, oh. Because when you look at something like that, what happens? You see, I was a child, I didn't know any better, and I couldn't do anything about the situation, and I didn't do anything wrong. What does that do? It eliminates the shame. But the problem is most of us don't know that we have that. We're carrying it around on our backs. Like, imagine it's in a big backpack. All these rocks, all these little rocks that we've put in throughout our whole life, but all these things that are wrong with us and none of it is actually real. There's nothing wrong with you. So you've been stopping yourself from having joy fulfillment, love, whatever success in your life because of all these imaginary rocks you've put in an imaginary backpack. And as soon as you take them out of that darkness and you just look at them, they'll shrink and you'll just feel able to go for things in your life. That's all for this video. Guys, please remember, nobody is perfect. Your vulnerability usually is actually what will empower you. And you have everything you need inside you to create what you want in this life. You just have to look within. I hope this video helped, and I will see you in the next one.