Elay Amitay HaleviElite Trading Performance Coach

You keep attracting narcissistic men because you're scared to attract someone who is healed.

24 Feb 2026 · 1 min

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1:14

In this self‑help monologue, the speaker explores why many women repeatedly attract narcissistic or emotionally unavailable men. She argues that the root cause lies in subconscious beliefs of low worthiness and a hidden fear of drawing in partners who are "healed," successful, and vibrate at a higher level. These fears stem from a belief that such partners would expose personal shortcomings and demand the individual to "level up." Consequently, the mind unconsciously selects narcissistic partners as mirrors that highlight the need for personal growth. The speaker advises listeners to stop blaming or vilifying these partners and instead turn inward, examining where they feel undeserving and why, as a pathway to breaking the pattern.

Chapters

Why do I keep attracting narcissistic men? The first question that we must always ask is, what is it about myself that has a lack of worthiness or a belief that I don't deserve something greater? Because often who we attract has to do with who we believe we deserve to be with. And even though people may not say, well, I deserve— I don't— I, I think I deserve to be with someone who's narcissistic, or I think I deserve to be with someone who is abusive. No one's actually thinking that, but there are parts of us that are scared to attract someone who truly vibrates on the highest level. There are parts of us that are really scared to attract someone who is healed, who is doing the work, who is successful, who actually checks off all the boxes on our list, because then we know that we can't mess that up. Then we know that we have to rise to the occasion. There are parts of you that you don't even realize yet that you will have to change and grow up and mature. And so we subconsciously will attract people who are emotionally unavailable, or have narcissistic tendencies only to show us that it's time for us to level up. So if you have someone like that in your life, don't blame them, don't villainize them, don't even talk about them. Look at where in your own life you feel you do not deserve something greater and why.