In this first‑person testimonial, the speaker recounts being diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) around the year 2000 after a construction‑related injury prompted a routine doctor’s visit. Despite a long‑standing, healthy lifestyle and disbelief that he could be ill, repeat lab work confirmed a high white‑blood‑cell count and CLL. The diagnosis triggered profound depression, described as a loss of the trusted relationship with his body. Rejecting a physician’s prognosis of 24–30 months, he refused to let statistics define his future. Instead, he took personal responsibility for his healing, adopting meditation, visualization, and extensive reading to reconnect with his inner self. He reframed the cancer diagnosis as a “blessing” and a rebirth, emphasizing that laboratory numbers are merely data, while true recovery stems from internal awareness and proactive self‑care.
Chapters
About 2000, I had been working in construction and I was injured. So I called my doctor and, uh, who'd been my doctor for almost 30 years and we're good friends as well, and he said, "Rob, you've You've got cancer. He said, you've got leukemia. And I said, no, I said, that's some mistake. I couldn't be. I'm perfectly healthy. Nothing ever bothers me. As a matter of fact, I asked him if I could have the test done again. And so I, that after the telephone call, I hung up and I went directly to a lab and he asked for a very quick diagnosis, and it came back. The results, of course, were exactly the same, and I had chronic lymphocytic leukemia and a really high white blood cell count. So I, I can really identify with the depression thing that comes from that. I'm a very healthy person. I didn't have any problems. And my body had always been so good to me, athletics and everything. I don't get injured, I don't get sick. And so it was that letdown, and I felt like a relationship had been lost between me and my body. It was really hard, and I became very depressed about it. I realized that what I needed to do was to try and heal that relationship with my body. I'd gone along not really knowing who I was, what I was up to, what counted. And then it began for me, it was a rebirth. In my case, my leukemia is truly a blessing. I started meditating, I started visualizing, I started reading, and really getting in touch with what was going on with me, knowing, and I needed to just know inside, uh, that what I was doing was appropriate. I explained to my oncologist that I wasn't the least bit interested in the laboratory tests or the results. I said those were just numbers. One of the physicians that I saw at that time said, "Well, you probably have around 24 to 30 months, so get your affairs in order," because of the way it was responding at the time. And I thought, "No, I don't accept that at all. I just don't accept that." And I never did. I realized that diagnosis and statistics are, are so important in medicine, it seems. Who I was kind of got lost in between, and I found myself. It was through my taking charge of that. I was responsible for getting myself well.
