Thrive Time with Eric Edmeades Live Stream

Hello, everybody. Welcome to a very special edition of thrivetime. Today, we're doing a completely different format where this is not about us having our guests on the show. This is about us recapping and discussing the things that we've learned on the show thus far. And so we're going to be having guests from all around the world who have been watching the show over the last few weeks, and they're going to be joining us on the show to ask their questions and share ideas and the different thoughts that they've had. So we're going to be getting started very, very shortly. I'm so excited to have you guys all here. This is a new format, and if.

It'S good, if you guys are enjoying.

It and it works out well for you, we'll be doing it again. The show will begin short. Okay, so welcome to this really special edition of thrivetime. When I first created this show, it was born out of this. When this all started to happen, I started to freak out. Did you?

I did.

I started to freak out a little. I started to worry about my family. I started worrying about all our employees and our various clients and fans from all over the world. And it did freak me out. I had to do all my processes. If you're familiar with my concept of the hindsight window, I had to jump right into that right away. And I started looking at it, and I began to realize that I was incredibly grateful for many of the things in my life and that I was in a position that was so wonderful comparative to some of the stories that I was hearing out there in the world. And I started asking myself what I could do to help.

And I realized that one of the.

Things that I could do to help was to apply my curiosity for life to my incredible network of friends and bring everybody the very best information I could to help them to thrive and survive and really get through this in the best possible way. In other words, I want everybody that I can help get to a place where five years from now or 10 years from now, when people go, you remember the lockdown? They go, yeah, I rocked that lockdown. My life upgraded, degraded during that time. Because what I want you to know is, thus far, that really hasn't been the case for a lot of people. Quite a lot of people have found themselves sliding during the lockdown. Their health has been sliding, their relationships have been sliding, and their life has been sliding. In fact, I've asked a few people how they would feel if suddenly the lockdown is over and they're like, I'm.

Not ready for it to be over.

And that's because there's things that they want to achieve. Over the last couple of weeks, we've had a number of really exciting guests on the show here to talk to us about how to master those things. And it's been incredibly enlightening for me and I think also for you. You know, we had Amber Trueblood on the show talking about. We've had her on twice, in fact, talking about relationships and parenting. And so I want to offer you some of the takeaways that I got from the parenting section talking to her. You know who else we also had? Dr. Shefali. We had Shelly Lefkoe. We had a number of really exciting guests on the show talking about this one issue. One of the things that I want to remind you of is that children make up meanings for everything all the time. And what the result of that is is that they will occasionally make up meetings that make sense in that moment, but then guide them for the rest of their lives. And so one of the things that's really important for us to do at this point is to do everything we can to support our children in seeing this in the least scary way possible. And it was really fascinating to talk to our guests about different ways of doing that. One of them, for example, is managing your own fear, leading by example, communicating in a sense of calmness, making sure that you are not being used by your emotions, but instead that you're using your emotions, and also entertaining. What I mean is that we're in a world right now where it would be so easy to just acquiesce off to the screens. And by the way, I'm not just talking about your kids here. Anybody done that for themselves? Who here has been babysitting themselves with their screen? Has anybody been having a bit of that experience? I think so. So here's what we're talking about, is having a new way of doing that and recognizing all kinds of great creativity. You guys have seen you. If you look on TikTok or Instagram, you'll see families coming up with phenomenal ways to have fun and entertain. And you know what? I think we're all. We all are in a situation right now where we have the possibility, where we have the chance or the capability of learning a whole set of new skills that will enrich our lives when the whole thing is over. I really enjoyed having my very good friend John Gray on the call with us on the show talking about relationships because, you know, I started noticing something really scary and the thing that I noticed was that in China, the divorce rates were spiking like crazy as a result of the confinement. Couples were being forced to interact with each other way more than they ever had before. And they're like, wow, turns out I don't really like you.

And.

No, no, that's not what it was. It turns out they didn't really have the skills. They didn't really have the capacity for translation. You know, one of the things that John mentioned on the show that was a really big takeaway for me is that sometimes men and women are a little bit different in the way they cope with relationships. And for example, it can happen like this, that if a man has a big project to do or a job he has to do and he goes away to do it, then his wife or his girlfriend might really appreciate him for doing that. But if he stays home to work on that same project or do that same job, well, then she feels ignored. And it's so interesting when you can see these potential issues. I'm not saying it's like that for every couple, but I'm saying that we learned some really great things in the episode with John about how to maybe see those things differently and communicate better. We also had another really good friend of mine on the show, Bruce. Music from Love at First Bite. Bruce shared some really phenomenal stuff about communication and honesty and being able to really gel your family together. One of the things that I really liked that he talked about was creating that space for each other, you know, making sure that every member of the family has the ability to get their needs met and to have that opportunity for space. My biggest message from this whole thing and this entire process of this, call it, lockdown, pandemic time that we're in, is to say, let's do something different. You know, when it started off, maybe it felt a little bit like vacation, but now we realize that it's really just a training boot camp for whatever's going to be next. And here's what we know. Whatever is going to be next, well, it's going to be different. It's going to be different than anything that there was before. The economy is going to be different and everything's going to be different. So what we need to do is we need to be prepared for that. We can't just sit back and watch all of Netflix. We can have moments like that, of course, but we also want to be investing in ourselves and making things happen. And that's really been the entire purpose of behind putting this whole thrivetime show together and putting together the thrivetime community. So right now we have a whole lot of people from all around the world watching our show.

You can see them live right there. They're everywhere from around the world. And what we're going to be doing is taking some questions from people as we go through the show right now. So let's start like this. I don't know if I'm pronouncing your name right. I have five. You're going to have to tell me how to really pronounce it but Fresinia, come on the show and tell me what's going on for you. Do you have something you want to share? Do you have a question? Hello.

My name is.

Got it.

Yes.

Sad all kind of situation has already taught me a lot of love and.

Most of all about my family. So I, you know, I have two kids and just. It's so. I see them so differently right now. First of all, they were like. I have to say it out loud that they were like a burden because I always have to be there for them and have to be ready to jump when they are crying and when they have to have food and everywhere and it was. And this steel so heavy and so difficult because I'm mostly alone with them and I'm like 2,000 kilometers from my whole family because we. I am from Hungary and I have moved to Norway or 10 years ago or something. So it's really difficult to be far away from my mom and dad because you know, when you have your parents around you and you know you have them at the neighborhoods, it could make me feel more safe.

You make them. What was that?

Safe? Safe. You know when you feel safe when you have your parents near you. And then I suddenly realized, okay, I am the parent here because I have my own kids and I have to. And I have to be there for them and make them feel safe. I'm all grown up and I have to. I have to take my responsibility for them.

You do? I try to. You know, I think that there's a lot of growing up going on right now. You know that there's a lot of growing up going on right now. I kind of went through something very similar to you in fact. And what happened in my case was that when the last recession happened, I didn't even really notice it. I timed it really well. I had just sold a company. I had taken my money out of the stock market. I don't know why not because I'm so smart. I just was really lucky. And so I Didn't really notice it. But when this one came up, wow, it hit me. I mean, it really, really hit me. And I found myself, you know, really, like, first of all, going inside and being worried about me, right? Like, that's the first thing in fear is I was going, what about me? What about me? And then I was like, oh, my God, what about my family? And. And then what about my. And what was interesting is the more I expanded my caring circle, the calmer I got and the more purposeful I felt about it. And I. And I think that that's one of the great advantages of being a parent is that there's times when, you know, we're around our kids and we might just lose ourselves, but what we have here is the opportunity to go, oh, I have to be strong in front of my kids. And I think that's really important. We really do. We have to watch what's going on with our kids, and then we've got to lead by example. And, you know, there's this great video that I uploaded years ago to Facebook, and it was a video, a campaign to end smoking, you know, and it showed this video of children doing whatever their parents made them do. And, you know, not. Sorry. Not what they made them do. Sorry. What they did do. So you, you know, whatever. If the parents were on the phone, the kids were acting like they're on the phone. I mean, I've seen this with my own daughter, right? But in one of the shots, shockingly, they've got this adult going up the stairs with a cigarette and then the kid with a cigarette. And boy, did it ever make the message hit home like, kids ultimately are going to do what they see, and that's that you're. You're. You're going, oh, my God, I'm the parent. That's right. And it's time for you to do what, you know, you would want your kids to do. And by the way, I think that's a really great thing because in a weird way, it's like your kids become this life coach. It's like you're like, well, how would I want my children to behave in this situation? And then I need to behave that way. Does that make sense?

Yes, of course. And when I just realized that they are saying what I am saying, so it's not just my behavior and my movements and everything, but my thoughts also. And when my thoughts coming out verbally, you know, when I'm saying out loud.

Things.

And suddenly comes to. Comes my daughter to me and saying that exactly the Same thing I said without realization that I shouldn't say that. So. And I was, oh, no, she sounds like me. Okay? So I have to stop with it. And I also realized that I'm sounds like my mother. I use her speeches, her words and everything, and of course, my dad's.

Yeah, well, I think there is a really, really good lesson in that. But there's one more. And this came out of the interview that I did with Amber Trueblood just yesterday, in fact, and it was such a powerful lesson. And she said this. She says, you know, yes, of course, it would be great not to say stuff that we regret or that we apologize for. That would be fantastic. But you know, what else is really important is to apologize for it. You know, it's to apologize for it. And I. It was funny. We had this conversation, and I was thinking about it because as it turns out, you know, in. In my parents generation, their parents didn't apologize for anything. I mean, they, like, you know, we're the parents. We don't. We don't apologize. Why would we do that? You know, it's like there was a very, like, you know, superior kind of a thing, but if we act superior with our children, then we're teaching them to act superior. And I think that that's a really powerful thing, too. Is that. That. That you. Hang on. I'm having a small sound problem, apparently. Yeah. That when something goes wrong, that you actually go ahead and. And apologize to them. Listen, it's been such a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you for joining us live very, very much. And I just understand from the team here that I'm having a small technical glitch, and I'm going to try and get to the bottom of what that is. First of all, for those of you who are with me in zoom, can you guys give me the thumbs up that you can all hear me? Okay, Are you guys getting me? You're getting the thumbs up? Okay, so you can. And so I guess I'm hearing from the team that somehow on the broadcast, they're not hearing me. So my team, can you confirm that that's what's going on? Because I am a little confused by that. In any event, we're going to go over to our next guest. We're going to go to Michelle and let me just get Michelle queued up here and we'll bring her on in. Michelle, you are now live. So, Michelle, jump in with me and say hello.

Hello, Eric. Nice to see you again. It's been a few weeks.

It Has.

Yeah. Look, I just want to speak on behalf of what you're saying about parenting and about the work you're doing with parents. There's a great. And she described this that we need to take care of our children and be careful of what they see, take care of what they hear, take care of what they feel for how the children grow. And I just definitely would talk to you about that. Yeah. My question to you is when children are working through these feelings, we are looking at how to keep them from acknowledging what they're feeling and working through that. So not judging them if there's good or bad, but that one will help perhaps promote another action. Like, for example, fear can promote action and anger promote. So how do we navigate that experience but also still maintain a respect for everybody else's in the environment? We've created spaces in our house. But I was wondering your take on that, and I've been really interested. I haven't watched the Amber too, but interview. I'm looking forward to that. There might be some. Enjoyed seeing some of our friends Vincent and Dr. Aro and then the other shows. So have you got some ideas? Navigate through those.

I'm having a little sound challenge with you, but I think what you're asking is how to navigate through. Was it like sort of feelings of insecurity and that sort of thing?

Yes.

How do we fix that?

I heard you better now. I think you need to be closer to your microphone. Yeah, but is that what you were asking?

Yeah. So basically.

Feelings, but then realize that. But still maintaining a helpful speech for.

The other people who know it, really, it's kind of an interesting thing. And I think one of the ways that I describe this in business very often is that we ultimately need. Let me just check again. I think I understand what's happening. For those of you who are connecting with Zoom, you're hearing me, but you're not hearing the guest at all. Is that what's happening? The sound's not piping through. All right, what I'm going to attempt to do is reiterate the questions back so that you guys are able to hear what that. Because you don't hear them, you're going to hear it from me. But in essence, what we're really talking about here is, hey, this is a difficult time emotionally, and we're struggling through how to deal with that stuff. And at the same time, we have to be around other people. And so it's not always easy to put our best face on. Michelle, does that make sense? That's what we're talking about here. All right, so I think one of the ways that I describe this in the sort of entrepreneurial world is that the manager of a business or the CEO of the business or the owner of the business is ultimately like a. Let's see, my friend Chip Connolly, he was the founder of Joie de Vivre, which was, I think, the second largest boutique hotel chain in the world. And he was such a great leader about that and is still today doing incredibly great projects. And here's what he said CEO should really stand for Chief Emotions Officer. And. And the idea behind that is that you really are setting the tone emotionally for what's happening in your company. And I think that's now very true for you and your family as well. And so you know what that might mean is. What that might mean is that if you walk into your company, for example, and you feel like, angst about you, you don't feel very good, but you don't tell anybody why, then what's going to happen? Well, the employees are going to start to gossip with each other. Because, you see, employees are often employees because they're looking for certainty. And then now you've put them in a position where they don't really have any sense of certainty because you walk through the room in a grumpy mood or something like that. Right. And so now they have to make. Make stuff up to create a sense of certainty. And so now that can create negativity and gossiping. And by the way, let me show you what the equivalent of that is in social media. Are people feeling a little. Hey, everybody, tell me, are we feeling a little uncertainty at the moment? Can anybody vouch for a little uncertainty at the moment? Is that. Yeah, like, we're getting a bit of uncertainty at the moment. Right. Okay. So with that in mind, here's what's going on. People are looking for certainty. And so some of your friends have been infected by Covid fear 19. Does anybody here have friends that are affected by Covid fear 19? Here's the symptoms. They post irrational things on social media. They post conspiracy theories without evidence on social media. They post videos that they've not vetted, and they don't really understand what the background of the video is. They post claims that people have made on Instagram and YouTube, and you don't even know if they're real people or they're just trying to create viral videos. They post evidence that isn't evidence at all because there's no backing to prove that it's evidence. Has anybody Got friends doing that the COVID feared. Yeah. So. So what we have to do is recognize that the reason people are doing that stuff is because they're not managing their emotions. They're feeling afraid and uncertain, and so they're grabbing on anything that gives them certainty. I'm going to give you an example of how insane this is a little bit. Is that the one of the guys that's at their center of this whole thing? David, Ike, Icky. I don't ever. I don't know. But, but David has been telling everybody that 5G is causing, you know, all the problems with COVID 19 and so on. And you know, there's. There's two major problems with that. There's not. There's 30 major problems with it, but two I'll share with you right now. One is that 5G is in 30 countries and COVID 19 is in 190 countries. Done. We're done with that conversation now. We don't have to talk about that anymore. But here's the other thing we can talk about. Before this conspiracy theory. David's favorite conspiracy theory was that there are shape shifting aliens running the planet, including Bill Gates and President Bill Clinton. And I think Tony Robbins must be one of them too. And, you know, so I just want to point out that that's your source. Right? So what we want to do is we want to figure out when we're starting to behave out of a sense of fear and when that's happening, when we're behaving out of a sense of fear. What's really important is that we, is that we get it in check, that we breathe, that we check in with somebody rational, that we realize that we're spreading infection and then we stop it. And so at the largest level, that's how we handle it. But now, Michelle, you're talking about what about right here in my home, you know, what about the people I need to be around? Same thing. What we have to do at this point is create a higher level of consciousness than we were living with before. And what does that mean? It means that. Michelle, come on now, you tell me. I mean, have you ever been having a fight with somebody and your emotions have kind of gotten in the way and you might be saying something like, you know, that you might later regret. Have you ever had this, though, that there's a voice in the back of your head going, michelle, what the hell are you doing? Why are you saying that? Have you ever had that?

Possibly.

Okay, all right, all right. You wouldn't be rare. Let's check in. Let's make sure that. I want to make sure that you don't have an illness or something. How many of you out there in the world have had that experience? You're saying something that you know you're going to regret, and there's a voice inside going, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? All right, so it looks, Michelle, like you're safe. It looks like that is something that has happened quite a lot. So. All right, now let's check this out. What I want to suggest you is that that voice in the back that's trying to get you on track, it'll get louder the more you listen to it. And so when you feel that talking to a child, talking to an adult, talking to a friend, talking on the phone, doesn't matter, but when you feel that coming, then what I want you to do is I want you to listen to it. And it's really simple. When that voice comes along, let's say. Let's say, for example, you're having a conversation, say, with a partner, let's just say randomly speaking, and you were having this conversation, and you're. And the voice comes up and goes, why are you saying that? Why are you doing that? Then. Then what I want you to do is say what your voice is saying. Like, right that moment. Like, I want you guys all to imagine this. Everybody on the call, I want you to think about this. Say you're having a fight with your heart, husband or your wife, and you're starting to say that stuff that you know you really shouldn't be saying. Again, just for confidence sake here, how many of you have ever done that? You're saying something you know you shouldn't say. All right, all right, all right. So here's how you do it. You're saying the thing you know you shouldn't say. You always this and you always that. And then the voice in the back of your head goes, why are you being so mean? Then I want you to do this. Why am I being so mean? Seriously, I want you to try it. You know, if. And if you're being really negative, you go, yeah, nothing ever works and you never get that stuff done. And then your voice in the back goes, why are you being so negative? Then I want you to go, why am I being so negative to the person I want to tell you. Do that two or three times, you'll stop the behavior. You'll stop doing it. You will. It's just a little pattern interrupt. How many of you guys are willing to Try this. Who's willing to give it a go? All right, now, how about with your kids? Oh, with your kids, even so, you're yelling at them. You've lost your temper. They're not doing their home. You know, you didn't volunteer for homeschool. They didn't volunteer for homeschool. What the hell? And they're not doing what they're supposed to do. And you start yelling at them, and then there's a voice in your back, your head going, oh, my God, you love your kids so much. Why are you yelling at them? Then? This is what you do. You go, oh, my God, I love you so much. Why am I yelling at you right now? And you know what's crazy with kids? This is the answer. You're going to get something like this. You're yelling at me right now because I won't do my homework and I'm being a bit unreasonable. I'm telling you, they'll do it. They'll actually do it. You might end up winning the whole argument. So, Michelle, that's my hack for you. That's my thought, is that if you start feeling like you're having a hard time managing your emotion and it's affecting your communication, interrupt the communication. Like that. But let's take one more step back before all that stuff has happened. And I know we've talked about this a lot in the Wildfit community and even previously on Thrive episodes before all that stuff happened. Here's what I want to know is, are you breathing? Are you getting fresh air? Are you taking care of your body in the best possible way?

Yes, for the first time in a very long time, being a mother.

Good deal. Good deal, Michelle. Well, that was a great question. Thank you so much. Keep up the great work. And I look forward to. Hey, next time we go to Africa. Are you coming again?

Oh, yeah.

Bring it on.

All right, I'll talk to you real soon. All right, so I think there's a really important lesson in that general conversation about managing state of mind. And I think one of the most important things all of us can do to manage our state of mind, you know that if you put garbage in, you're going to get garbage out. And so one of the things I want to offer you is actually, I've got a question for you. How many of you would love to know more? My. I've shared it a couple times, so you might already know it, but I'm curious, like, how many of you would love to know my, like, social media hack, my COVID 19 pandemic hack to make social media work for you instead of you working for it. Who would like to know the hack? Okay. All right, Good, good. Seems like a few of you are in for the hack. So here's how it works. I use Instagram to feel good. I use Facebook to learn and debate the facts, and I use Twitter to argue. Okay, so let me. Let me. And to be informed. To argue and be informed. Let me say it out for you better on Instagram. What I have done is absolutely unfollowed anybody who's posting fear and garbage and negativity. I just unfollow them and I follow people that are inspiring me, that are helping me to feel better about what's going on, that are. That are creating an environment and giving me the information that makes me feel good. That means that if ever I want to just have a quick, you know, quick look through Instagram, I know that I'm going to end up feeling good. Does that make sense to everybody? You guys in for Instagram, Unfollow the fear mongers and focus on positivity. Who's up for that? Okay, now on Facebook, it's a little bit different on Facebook because Facebook is longer conversations and posts and debates and that kind of stuff. And frankly, we do tend to try to get a little bit, you know, we do tend to get a little bit of our information from Facebook. So. And the other thing is, is that just because a friend is infected doesn't mean that you never want to see them again, right? Like, just because a friend is infected doesn't mean that you don't want to see them again. So, so what does that mean if one of your friends get. It gets infected with COVID 19. COVID 19. Covid fear 19. Then there's a really great feature in Facebook where you see their post and there's three little dots and you go to the three little dots and it'll allow you to unfollow them without unfriending them. You can just unfollow them without unfriending them. And. And then you can also just snooze them. You can. It's the coolest thing. You click the three dots and it goes, Snooze this person for 30 days. Because my experience is that Covid Fear 19 has a gestation period of about a week, week and an infection period of about two to three weeks. And then they usually recover and then they stop posting that rubbish. So you just snooze them and everything gets a whole lot Better. And then in Twitter, what you do, in my opinion, is you go and follow the top doctors and top scientists in the world, and that's where you go to get informed about what's really going on. And then when you are having a conversation on Facebook, you actually know what's going on because. Because the Twitter audience does not put up with that same kind of fake news garbage that you see so often on Facebook. So that's my little hack for social media. My team, if there's anybody that wants to come in live, please share the link with them. Marcia, I do see you, but for some reason I don't see you. It tells me that possibly you've clicked the link and you've come in through a browser other than Chrome. And unfortunately, this platform only works with Chrome. So if you can go back and open Chrome and click the link, you'll be coming back in on the show. And then also my team, you guys can send me the questions through the WhatsApp channel in case you've got, in case people don't necessarily want to come on live and they just want to fire some, some, some questions through. We can take them that way. Now back to this issue of state management. And I think it's really important, I really want to, I want to be clear that your body, in my opinion, your body is much better at fear than it is optimism. And that's just simply because fear is safer than optimism. Just. Are you with me? I want you to think about that for a minute. Is that your body is better at fear than it is at optimism? Because ultimately, because fear is safer than optimism. If you walk around a dark downtown city street, okay, these days they're probably pretty safe in the dark downtown city streets. But in, in non pandemic times, if you walk around some dark downtown area unbelievably optimistic, that might not be the safest thing. If you were a little bit afraid and careful, then that would be safer. But wait a second. Couldn't somebody also become so afraid and so careful that they wouldn't even leave their house? Could that happen? Well, yeah, absolutely. And so what we want to do is make sure that we're balancing that, that very carefully. We're balancing awareness and not allowing ourselves to get overly afraid. So how do we do that? Well, one of the things is you realize that your, your body's biochemistry is affected by the things you watch. And so your, your body, body's biochemistry. So that means if you go over to Netflix and you watch something scary on Netflix, then you're not necessarily doing the right thing. Come on. I need an honest. I need an honest poll here. How many of you have watched something on tv, Netflix, HBO or whatever, and it's been a little adrenalizing and maybe a little. A little scary. Who's done that? All right, now, here's one of the reasons that we want to do it. Here's something really crazy, and I want you to hear this. There's a guy who predicts the stock market based on how movies are doing in Hollywood, and what he says is when the horror movies start coming along, you should be prepared for depression. Because as people start to feel more afraid, they like watching horror movies. So it makes them feel better about their lives. Can you imagine? That's what's going on. Like, as times get scarier, they want to go watch a horror movie. So they're fa. So they're. So their life feels a bit better. Okay? But it doesn't work like that because what really happens is you watch the horror movie or the scary movie or the drama movie, like, this is not the time for the Walking Dead. It's not the time for that. It's not the time for stress and fear. And so if you watch that stuff, then you create the biochemistry of stress and fear, and then it makes everything else look scarier than it really has to be. So I want you to just bear in mind that what you put in is going to have everything to do with what you put out. And with that, we're going to go to having another guest here on the show. Let me just make sure I've got it lined up correctly. We have Lisa. Lisa Rogers. Lisa, are you with us?

Well, hello, Eric.

It's really exciting to be with you today.

Good to have you.

So, first of all, I would like to say a huge thank you to you personally and your team for putting this on. It's been fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed the session that you did with Daniel Priestley. That was just amazing. Absolutely phenomenal. Great content and implementing a lot of that. A couple of things I wanted to talk about. There's a lot of single people, you know, I know you were talking about all the parents, and I'm one of Those ladies over 50, single by choice, not sure how many other people are out there. And, you know, I think about our senior citizens and I think about people living by themselves. And it's got to be, you know, so isolating and so lonely to be really feeling like you're on your own. So, you know, we've been trying as best we can with our group to reach out, include people, phone your family, phone your mom, phone people every day and stay connected. And I think a really amazing trend that's going to come out of this is the co housing trend. And I'm looking at some opportunities with that and, and sharing what I understand about that particular field.

Yeah, I think we are going to see some interesting stuff around that, around the way people view community in the future. And so what Lisa's talking about, guys, is that again, it's about community and how we're connecting with each other. And I think one of the things. And making those phone calls, you know, Lisa, I had this, a friend of mine, I haven't spoken to her, know how long it's been, but it's been a little while, you know, a couple of months. And then all of a sudden out of the blue she texted me and said, hey, we gotta have a conversation. And I ended up having like an hour and a half conversation with her. And it was really nice. You know, like social distancing doesn't mean social isolation. And so I think it's really important to make sure that you create a sense of community. I'm curious for those of you who are out there in the, in the. For those of you in the audience watching from Zoom, here's what I'd love to know from you guys. You if is how many of you have had virtual family dinners. Who's done that? Where you've all you've had like people come and have dinner together. Yeah. How cool is that? I've got one coming up with a bunch of my friends. I think it's on Thursday and we're having a virtual dinner. We're all cooking our meals, we're all sitting at the table, we're putting our phone or our computer on and we're gonna sit and have dinner together. Because it is really important that we create that sense of community and that sense of connection. That's fabulous, Lisa.

Thanks.

And tell me something else. You were talking about the co housing. Can you elaborate a little bit on that and how you think that will be affected? The way you're saying, Oh, did you lose me or did I lose you?

There's all kinds of fun things happening here. Can you hear me now?

Yeah. We're getting quite a lot of echo from you and I'm trying to fix it, but we'll carry on.

Okay, let me see if I can pop over. There's a, a few little things going on, all kinds of fun things happening here. Can you hear me without too much echo now or.

I don't know why. That's. Exactly. And for those of you who weren't able to hear that, I hear we're having some kind of a sound problem, but, you know, Lisa was really just reiterating this idea like it is so, so possible to connect with people. And in the future, I think we will all start looking at who is the ideal family that I really want to be living with. It's something I've thought about for years is, you know, kind of having a bit of a commune area where I really choose my neighbors. And, man, now I really wish I'd done that some years ago. How many of you would have loved to have had a larger community to do lockdown with? Anybody? I kind of think so. Liza, thanks so much for coming and joining us on the show. For the rest of you, I just have a couple questions. I'm having some technical stuff, so I want to check in with you. I know that you on Zoom can't hear the guests. Were you able to hear the guest? A minute ago, I did something different, but then something happened to Lisa sound, and I could hear her, but you guys couldn't for some reason. We're going to try it again now. Heather, you're going to be next up. And. And so we're going to see if we can make things work technically here. Thank you guys for your patience. I really appreciate it. Heather, you are now on Live, and let's just check it out. First of all, can we hear you? Oh, that's really weird. Now I can't even hear you, but the system tells me that you're making sound. Okay, try again.

I swear I am.

All right, I can hear you. I can hear you. And if my team can confirm if that sound is actually going out properly to Facebook and YouTube. But you guys on Zoom can't hear her. Right? But let's try this. Okay. Okay.

All right.

So this is fun, huh?

There we go. I can't believe that it took me that long in the episode to figure out there was a way to send the guest sound to use Zoom. But at least we figured it out. So what have you got for us, Heather, that's awesome?

Well, first of all, I'm just really grateful to you for the wildfit.

This has been a weird time because.

I'm a chiropractor and flew out to California right before all the lockdowns started and ended up doing all sorts of research on it as much as I could, because really, the Thing that we have right now, this gift that we have, this hindsight that you have told us about our opportunity right now, is to get as healthy as we possibly can while we're in lockdown, to get ourselves in the best possible position, like you said, for this future, not just health, maybe finances, developing ourselves personally in other ways. Maybe efficiency, time management. I just found an app. No, I don't get any money for mentioning it, but my latest little fix is called you need a budget. Because with a small business owner, one of the biggest things for me, I didn't really care about the health thing. I'm very healthy. But the finances, like the SBA said, they'd give us money. The money's not really coming. It's less money than they thought. Haven't seen any yet. Things are tight, and you need a budget. It's been really fun. And then, of course, with my kids.

We just bought baby chickens.

The best way to focus on something else is to just get something cute and fuzzy.

I think that's brilliant. You know, I confess, Heather. I confess. I was. Another confession, you guys, Another confession. But here's the deal. I was walking along the beach here the other day, and Colby. Colby was there, and he had a wheelbarrow. Now, can anybody guess what he had in the wheelbarrow? Can anybody guess what he had in the wheelbarrow? Here's what he had in the wheelbarrow. Puppies. Amazing puppies. They were the cutest puppies in the history of puppies. They were playing and they were making amazing sounds, and I've always really liked puppies, and I can't really have a dog because my wife's allergic to dogs, but she's on lockdown somewhere else at the moment. We got. So I could have a puppy. I was thinking, this is per. I'm alone. I'm totally alone. Come on, now, tell me, guys, how many. Raise your hands if this is justifiable. I'm completely alone. I need a dog to go for walks with. I'm good at training dogs. You know, there's a puppy that needs a home. Is that not good? Could I justify this?

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of people going with me on this. I called a friend of mine, and she goes, no, no, you can't. Puppies aren't just for lockdown. I thought, well, you're right. Now, chickens, they can be just for lockdown for a lot of reasons we won't discuss on this call, because we might have vegetarians, and. I'm kidding. It was a Little joke. It was a little joke. Anyway, are you enjoying your fuzzy chickens?

We love the fuzzy chickens. We're looking forward to the eggs because price of eggs has skyrocketed and the kids are distracted. They're not bored. It's fantastic. I. It's a great distraction every single day.

It's fun. It really is.

And you know, Speaker Nation coming up.

In May too, so good deal.

That's going to be a lot of fun. I. I am super looking forward to that workshop. I've been working on it. You want to see what's going to happen? I could show. No, I'm not showing you. I'm not showing. But there's some really. That's going be to super fun. But you know, the funny thing about the chickens thing, and I think this is valuable for kids right now to the degree that kids have pets and that kind of stuff is that there's a companionship issue, but there's also a learning. There's responsibility, I imagine. I don't know how old your kids are, but are you involving them in feeding and watering and that kind of. That's some really great life lessons about responsibility and stuff. So, Heather, that sounds like a great hack. I think that that's a great idea and I really appreciate you sharing it.

Thank you so much for having me.

No worries. Thanks for coming on the show. So it turns out that all you got to do is get yourself some chickens and then everything's going to be okay. Well, all right. Maybe. Maybe it's not quite that simple. So I want to. Again, my team, I think we've got a situation on deck where I think a few people were trying to get on the show and it wasn't working. I want to remind everybody that to come on the show, the link that the team shares with you needs to to be clicked either from your phone and there's an app process that it'll take you through, or you can click it directly from Chrome. If you click it in Chrome, then it'll bring you right into the show directly and you can be a guest on the show. That said, we're just about coming toward the end of this one anyway, and I wanted to leave you with something really important, and that is that in my experience, we are all willing to do more for others than we are willing to do for ourselves. We are very often willing to do more for others than we are willing to do for ourselves. How many of you, I'm curious, have ever found that to be true? How many of you found that you're able to. Okay. One of the places that I think you can find a lot of strength at the moment is to tap into that, to tap into the idea of that and to recognize that it's true and to start thinking about who some of those others are. One of the things that I've learned in my life is that selfishness is, in a sense, the ultimate selflessness, as long as it doesn't go to the point of narcissism. Let me say that again. When you get a clear idea of who it is that you want to help and who it is that you want to be responsible for in the world and who it is that you want to support, you want to recognize that in order to do that for people, that you're going to need to do that for you first, that you're going to need to really be able to take care of yourself first. And I think that's something really important in this time. So. So what I'd love to hear from you guys in the chat, in the comments or what have you is, if you think about it, who is it that inspires you to want to be the best version of you so that you can be there for them? I'd love to see some of the comments in the chat about that. I can see those. If you're on Zoom or if you're on Facebook or on YouTube, I can see that stuff coming in. And then I want to talk with Leslie. But, Leslie, if you want me to talk with you, you're going to have to do a better pose for your camera, because right now, all I can see is the upper half of your head. So I'll just get you queued up in the system and you can fix the angle, and then we can get you in here on the show. Leslie, go ahead and jump in. Look at that. Did you time that bark perfectly?

Oh, no magic. Sorry. I had to put headphones in.

It helps with the feedback. So go ahead.

Okay. So yesterday I talked to you and Amanda. I'm getting feedback. Sorry.

Let me see if I can fix that. Go ahead.

Okay, thank you. And so I'm holding space for my children right now, and 247 being here, and I find myself having the last two weeks more of a feeling of stress, you know, and I'm not overly concerned about anything like money and Covid, but I'm feeling that I'm carrying these emotions of my children. And it's. It's, you know, what we talked about the habits and creating good habits, and I was starting to have some bad habits and I believe it's the stress.

So.

And I walk every day and I play outside. What more can we do to release the stress that we're carrying from our children?

You know, there's a funny thing about kids and that is that they are way more resilient than we ever really know. They really are. You know, very often, sometimes I don't even like talking about parenting because I'll share an idea about parenting and then somebody will come up to you and go, oh my God, you shared something so incredibly valuable. But my kids are past that stage and now I feel like I'm a bad parent. Because you shared that idea. Right. And so what I want to suggest is this, is that we should be doing the best that we can. You know, we should be doing the best that we can to deal with that, you know, to be the best parents we can. But at the same time, we also have to recognize that growing up is our kids responsibility. We're really there to empower them, to support them, to keep them safe, to prevent them from hurting themselves to some degree. But at the same time, if we do that all the time, then we're going to stop them from learning. You know, I shared on the show yesterday with Amber that we were, you know, with all these visits that I've done to go and see the Hadza people in Africa, in Tanzania, we've noticed that they have a different approach to parenting. And one of the things that they, one of their beliefs about parenting is that children are just small adults. They don't really have this big distinction between being a child and being an adult. In other words, they have this different approach which is like, okay, they're a smaller version. We don't tell them how to live, but we'll help them if they need strength or they need to be lifted. Because that's a physical reality. But we treat them like adults. We treat them like people. And they're so distinct about, they're so clear about this that I remember years ago sitting down and watching a small child walking toward the fire. Like, I'm talking 18 months, sort of crawling, stumbling toward the fire. And their attitude about that is like, you know, I'm like, stop the kid. You gotta stop the kid from going to the fire. And they're like, no, if we stop him, then he'll just do it, try again another time when we're not here. And if we let him go over there, he's gonna touch the rock and it's going to be warm and he Might even burn himself a little, but then he'll never do it again. Now, I'm not saying I could parent like that, but I try. Not with fire, but with other things. I remember my son calling me one day, and he's getting ready to buy his first car, or maybe a second car. I can't remember now, but he called me up and he's, like, so excited. He wants to buy this car. And you know what he wanted to buy? It was, like, a 1984 Jaguar. Now, I don't know how familiar you guys are with car quality, and I'm a big fan of Jaguars as a car, but a 1984 Jaguar? I mean, no, you know, like, honestly, I'd rather buy a car bought of lego than a 1984 Jaguar. They just, you know, there were some issues. And so he's like, all right, I want to buy this 1984 Jaguar. And what's he expecting from me? He's expecting me to talk him out of it, to tell him not to do it. Right? That's what he's expecting. So what did I tell him? Go for it. Walk to the fire. He's like, what? And I said, yeah, I think that's an awesome car for you to buy. And he's like, what do you mean? And I said, well, I just think it's a truly amazing car for you to buy. Like, you're gonna have the most incredible life experience buying that car. He goes, I am. And I go, yeah, first of all, girls are gonna love that car. It's gonna be a great way to meet girls. They're gonna love that car. It's so sexy and cool and unique. I mean, it's not a Prius. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be great. I said, the problem, of course, is that the girls are gonna have to come over to your house to see the car. He said, why? And I go, because it's going to be broken down all the time, so. But it'll be in the driveway, so, you know, they'll be able to come and sit in the car in the driveway. And he said, what if it doesn't break out down all the time? I go, well, you're not going to afford the gas anyway, so even if it doesn't break down, you're still going to be in the driveway. And he's like, oh, the gas is going to be really expensive. Yeah, but that's okay. You should buy it anyway. By the way, everybody, how many people think he didn't buy the car? Who thinks he didn't end up buying the car. Yeah, but what if I had tried to stop him? You know what I'm saying? Like, if I tried to stop him from buying the car, you know, resistance, he would have pushed back. Because that's the job of a teenager. They're supposed to do that. And so resistance is futile. So instead, I went with him. If any of you have ever practiced martial arts, this is called aikido. Verbal aikido. I didn't block what he was saying. I took what he was saying and redirected it and went with him and examined the fullest possibility of it. So I think that's something that we can do to really kind of manage that process is not worry so much about the kids, not worry so much about getting things right and wrong. But when you do get it wrong, be willing to apologize and get it right. Be willing to say to them, guys, I'm your parent, and I'm everybody who's who. Show me all my parents. Who are all my parents. Okay? I've got lots of parents. Good deal. So here, try this out for me. Just like, you know, like at an AA meeting, you got to go. Hi, my name is Eric, and I'm an alcoholic. But for the record, don't clip that and show that, because I'm not. But here's the thing. I want you to try this one with me. Hi, my name is Eric, and I'm an imperfect parent. Can you guys jump in with me here? Just, you know, say your name and admit that you are an imperfect parent. Jump in. See how good that feels Now. Now say that to your children. Go ahead, Leslie. I want to hear it.

Hi, I'm Leslie, and I'm an imperfect parent. Yes. And I believe in transparency with my children. So I've always been very open and honest with them. I guess it's. And I do believe in the parenting of, you know what? They're going to make mistakes, and I can't control everything. I've let go of control a long time ago. But when you have a high anxiety child, you feel that anxiety. So, yes, tapping is a great thing. The problem with the child is that she's resistant. So I've been trying to model great behavior, like walks.

Right.

Riding bikes, tapping, yoga. So I just can model.

What do you do?

But I still feel it.

Leslie, what do you do when you, like, when. When you're experiencing this high anxiety stuff? What. What do you normally do? Like, you're in the living room, and it begins. What do you do?

If it's a talk with her, then I'm just gonna. I make sure I'm monotone. And if I have to walk away or I change the subject or redirect, it's after that, I'm feeling it when I lay down at night or during the day when I'm alone. And so I'm thinking, chocolate. Chocolate sounds like a good idea right now. Right. Bad habit.

So, Leslie, I have a thought for you about this, and it's something I've had to practice in my life, so don't know if it'll help, but let's give it a go. The thought works of it like this is that it strikes me that you have, at times, a slightly overactive empathy. At least I know I can be like that. You know, like a little bit. Overactive empathy. Right. All right. So with that in mind, what happens for me in that situation is that that overactive empathy allows me at times to kind of feel what other people are feeling, or at least to feel as though. To feel as though I feel what other people are feeling. I may not be right, but it's how it feels. And so that means that if I were in the situation where you're in. You're in the room, and you've got a high anxiety child around you, then you then can start to take on some of their anxiety. And so what we have to do is develop our own practices for not taking on other people's emotional ectoplasmic gunk. Right. Like, you know, you don't want that. It's like they're. What do they call that in Ghostbusters? Ectoplasma slime. You know, like, when somebody else is having a negative emotion. What we want to do is try to figure out how to, like, just get, like, we don't want it on us. Can anybody relate to that? Have you guys ever had the. You know, like, somebody else has walked in, and then you feel like they slimed you? Has anybody ever been slimed? Yeah. So one of the things that I feel like we have to do, Leslie, when that happens is, is to. Is to clear. Is to clearly get that they're having their emotional experience, that they're really having their emotional experience. Like, I've been on planes where there's been really terror. Do you guys remember planes? I don't know if you guys remember, they used to be in the sky, and then you would get on it, and it would take you places outside of your home. Yeah, I mean, it really. There used to be a time like that and so. But I'd get on planes and there'd be somebody over there that was like, having a meltdown because the turbulence. Right. Having a meltdown because the turbulence. And you know what I found is sometimes they could infect me and sometimes they couldn't. I often joke, if you guys ever want to know why men don't cry so often, I think partly it's because our culture just has set up rules like that. They've just made it, like, shameful to cry. And I'll test it with you for those of you who are married or you've got a significant male partner, because that's life path that you've chosen. Here's my question. You're on a plane and there's a lot of turbulence, and then all of a sudden your husband starts crying. How do you feel about that? Not so good. Not necessarily so good. Well, I've been on the plane where I've seen somebody over here, and they start freaking out, and they can infect me. But I've also been on the plane where they can't. Now, I'll give you an example. You're on the plane and the person over here is 15 years old, and they start freaking out about the turbulence. Is that likely to cause any kind of, like, infection in me? Is that likely to cause any infection? No, that's not likely to get to me. But on the other hand, what if the person over there is? Well, let's use this example. I know I've got a great example. Let's see. Say that the other person is wearing an airline captain's uniform, but they happen to be back here in the cabin, and they start having a meltdown. Might that infect me? Who would be affected by that? I think so. Right. Okay, so what I'm trying to get at here, Leslie, is your child is not wearing a captain's uniform. And so what I want to suggest to you is that your child's anxiety doesn't have to be your anxiety. And that means that when it's happening, you really need to consciously go, oh, look over there. You need to depersonalize it. You need to really step out of it. Because especially if you know it's irrational anxiety, why would you want to take it on? I am okay with you feeling for them. I really am. But I really want you to feel for you more. And you'll be able to parent better if you realize that your child. And here's the exercise. You know me, I like silly exercises. The next time you're facing a High anxiety moment. What I want you to do is picture your child wearing a captain's uniform and realize they're not a captain. They're not in charge of the situation. They're not the best one to evaluate how scary the times are right now. You are, and then I think you can really lead the way. I hope that that helps.

Thanks, Eric. Appreciate it.

You're so welcome.

And I love your talks.

Thanks very much. All right, that is about where we're going to get to for today. Our pilot beta test, with all its audio clunkiness and difficulty. I'm not even sure we'll leave the published version of this online, because I know there is a lot of sound problems in the meantime. But toward the end, for you guys that are on Zoom, can you help me out here? Toward the end, were you guys starting to get good? You know, like, you could hear the guests and the sound was kind of working. Was it getting better? Seems like for most. Okay, cool. I'll do a debrief with my team on the technology, and we'll see where we go from there. In the meantime, I do want to leave you with this kind of message that I've been sharing with everybody, and it's a little bit of a commercial for a campaign and a little bit of an idea for you, and that's this. How many of you have ever had the experience? Let's put it this way, You've wanted to make a change in your life, but you really just haven't been in the position to make that change. You know that the present day you wants you to do certain things. The present day you wants you to do those certain things. But then, you know, in the future. But when you arrive at the future you, the future you doesn't want to do those things. Are you guys with who's had this experience? So you now know that you want you tomorrow. Who? But let me ask a different way. How many of you want the you of tomorrow to do certain things that you're pretty sure the you of tomorrow is not going to do? Anybody have that going on? Okay, so. Okay, so I want to help you a little bit with that, with a really, like, kind of quirky and fun idea and that it kind of works like this, that in the movies, when we need somebody to train and prepare for the movies, when we need them to get ready for some big fight, when we need them to get ready for something like that, we don't have time to watch them for six weeks. So how do we handle that in the Movies. Well, what we do is we take their six weeks of training and we condense it into what they call a montage, and we get to see all of the training happening in a much shorter period of time. We take six weeks of training, and then we turn it into a short clip. And then as we watch that clip, we start to feel some level of inspiration. Who's ever had that in a movie where you see the clip going on and you start feeling some inspiration? You got it. So here's what I'm going to say, is I want you guys to think a little bit about who you ultimately want to be at the end of all this, who you really want to be at the end of all this, and then reverse engineer what actions you need to take to be at the end of all of this. This the way you want to be. So, you know, for example, let me put you guys on screen here with me. For example. How many of you would love to have learned, you know, a new skill? How many would love to learn a new skill by the end of this? Excellent. How many of you would love to learn a new or start learning a new language? Right? So here's what I'm trying to say. When you have this experience of getting clear about who you want to be at the end, then that can help you reverse engineer what actions you need to take between now and then. And so we created a really cool social media kind of campaign around this that some of you probably have seen. Some of you have probably seen this called Lockdown Montage. And the idea of the Lockdown Montage is that you create an inspirational video that you get to watch every morning to get you going, guys, we all know it. You watch stuff with a good, powerful song. It can create inspiration inside you. And so you watch the video in the morning, and then you watch the video again at night before you go to sleep, and then you sleep better and you take action more. And the other reason that we created Lockdown Montage, frankly, is, and I'm curious from you guys, like, the noise, the negative noise that we are seeing on Facebook. Conspiracy noise, fake news noise. How many of you guys would like to help me drown out the negative noise? Who'd like to end Covid fear 19? Okay, cool. That's the other reason for doing this campaign. Because what we want to do is have people create these super inspirational lockdown montages, upload them to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, all over the place with the hashtag, right? Lockdown Montage and drown out the negative garbage. And every time you see one like it and comment on it. That's the way the social media platforms work, right? Is that when they get lots of comments and likes, they prioritize them. And that's one of the problems with COVID fear 19 is that people are posting garbage and then people are arguing about the garbage, bumping the garbage to the top of the feed. And so instead we create lockdown montages and we inspire each other and we share them and we drown out the negative noise, but at the same time we create a significant amount of really inspiring content for us that we really have a sense of inspiration and so on. And in order to really make this campaign super sexy, we've actually got a bunch of partners that have joined with us. WildFit is an official partner Speaker Nation make youe Mark in Vancouver. I wish I could remember the other partners right now, but there are some. And each of the partners has put up really incredible prizes for the people who upload their lockdown montages so you can win. Here's one of the prizes, by the way. Full tuition to WildFit, the Wild Fit 90 program. Full tuition. Here's another prize that we're doing is we've got a bunch of the 14 day challenges. We've also got one of our online speaking workshops. How about this one? A personal. I don't even like saying this one out loud because I don't even offer this anymore. It's been years since I've done personal coaching for people. But one of the prizes is a personal one on one coaching session with me. So guys, go get your lockdown montage and we're going to be adding way more prizes as the weeks go on here because we want to drown out all the negative noise. So with that, I want to thank you for participating here in the first version of this Thrive TV type structure. We've definitely learned a lot from it. I appreciate your patience with it. And I want you to know that on Tuesday, which is tomorrow, we have a really special guest. We have a really special guest. But the challenge with this special guest is I don't want to tell you about it. I want it to be a substitute surprise. But then I realized if it's a surprise, you might not show up. So here's the deal. How many of you are prepared to go find this video on YouTube and Facebook and go and like and comment on the. Even though you were here in the live audience and those of you who are watching on Facebook and YouTube, how many of you are going to go like and comment. If I see enough hands, then I'll tell you who the guest is on Wednesday. You promise? All right. Lots of likes and comments. I'll tell you who the guest is or not. Wednesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. Our guest tomorrow is my very, very good friend and one of my favorite people in the world, and that is Jack Canfield. So we're going to have a really great episode with him. He is one of the men that I can tell you is everything that you think he is, if you've ever seen him on stage, because he. One of the things that I value a lot about somebody who is an author and a speaker is that they're the same person on stage and offstage. And Jack is one of the most genuine people in the world, and he has survived all kinds of incredible ups and downs. And he's going to share some really powerful stuff with us during the episode on Tuesday. So make sure you tune in for that when it's live. Like, and comment that one as well. And make sure you go ahead and subscribe to our channel in YouTube. Thank you guys all so very much for being here.