ERF 838: It’s Supposed To Be Hard – That’s The Point

What is going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Eric Roberts Fitness Podcast. I hope that you are having a great day thus far. Today's episode, I got a solo episode for you. It's just me, but I want to talk to you about something that I believe could revolutionize and change not only your fitness journey moving forward, but I believe your life moving forward. moving forward, because that's really what we're about here. Yes, this is a fitness podcast, but I want you to live the best quality life that you possibly can. Uncle Eric wants you to live the best quality life that you can. And I want to talk about something we all want to change, but we also want it to be easy. And today we're going to talk about why the hard stuff Is where growth happens, how to stop avoiding the hard stuff and when it gets difficult, and how to actually embrace the times when you feel like it's the most challenging and the most difficult. Because that little secret— successful people do that, and I want to make you successful in every area of your life. And so in this podcast, I'll lay out some of the biggest mindset shifts To make your journey easier, as well as actionable things you can do immediately after listening to this podcast to start seeing more change. Really quickly, before we dive into the meat and potatoes, if you have not left a 5-star rating and review on the podcast yet, please. I do these podcasts that are 30, 40, 60+ minutes long. I don't get paid for any of this. I don't take ads for any of this. If you could please leave a 5-star rating and review, it would mean the world to me. Thank you so much. Now, I want to set the stage with 2 thought concepts for you. I know I just mentioned that it's supposed to feel hard, challenging, difficult, but what if I told you that simply knowing that could make it feel easier? And I think about this. If you expect it to feel easy, and it's not, then it makes it 100 times worse. If you expect it to feel hard and it is, well, then okay, that's what you expected. And now, I'm not naive. I know this doesn't fix everything, but I do think this does take a lot of the edge off, so to speak. It makes it not as crippling. I think when things get difficult, if you have improper expectations, it makes it so crippling to where you quit or you stop taking action, and that's what actually buries people. That's what actually stops you from reaching your goals versus if you expect it to be hard and it is hard, it's not crippling. It doesn't stop you. The way I think about this is like a super— in the superhero movies, you know, they get into their suit or their armor or whatever they have, and someone, you know, shoots a bullet at them or they try to punch them, and the superhero just kind of bats it off and keeps going. And the other person's like, oh fuck, like, I am not going to win this battle. That's how I think about this journey. You're still gonna get punches thrown at you. You're still gonna get bullets shot at you and all the other things that superheroes deal with, but you'll be able to brush them off and still save the day, or in this case, save your life. So that's something to think about, and I think a perfect segue into the next thought concept I want to get across to you. The key message here Is growth equals resistance. Think about it in the simplest form. Most people who listen to this podcast do something that is resistance training. You lift weights. In that, you are getting faced with resistance. In fact, you are putting yourself through intentional difficult scenarios in your workouts. Why? What does that produce? It produces muscle growth. It produces strength gains. It produces improved mental confidence. This is the perfect analogy for why things get difficult. You go through a grueling workout to grow. Why is it any different with nutrition or sleep or meal prep or discipline in general? We need to start normalizing this discomfort, not just in workouts, but in life. It's incredible to me, a lot of clients come to us, and I'm sure you could probably relate to this, you listening, you can relate to this. They crush their workouts, they push themselves, they work out really hard, they're consistent, but they can't do it with their nutrition. What do you mean you can't do it with nutrition? It's the same fucking thing. You already have the skill. You're already using the skill. Of course you can do it. You just need to use that same skill and apply that same mindset in another area. And for example, this is going to sound weird, but it's true. So this is why I can share it with you. For those people who really know me, I have trained myself to a degree to almost be a robot, to the extent of I can show up and execute on my daily kill list like it's— like there's nothing that's gonna stop me from doing that. If I have to make a video, if I have to do a podcast, if I have to answer emails, if I have to do X, Y, and Z for my business that day, I have built the skill of discipline in that area of my life. But what I found was I was neglecting other areas of my life so much, like my health and some of the stuff I've been dealing with for the past couple of months. I realized I had to use that skill of discipline and executing Now, in a different area of my life. So, as an example, and again, it's gonna sound funny, but I am letting myself sleep until 6 or even 6:30 AM some days, which I know sounds like, what the fuck are you talking about, Eric? And maybe for some of you it doesn't, maybe you wake up way earlier than that, but I was the person who, no matter what, I'm up at 4:30 or 5 at the latest. But I'll be honest with you, that was no longer serving me. It wasn't helping me recover. I was getting so burnt out. I was getting so exhausted. I couldn't get through my day. So it wasn't serving me, but I felt very guilty and didn't want to let myself sleep in because I thought I should be up working. But I had to do things I may not want to do in the moment to get a result later. Just like with workouts, sometimes I don't want to go work out, but I work out. Just like sometimes I don't want to create content, or I don't want to work, but I have to work, and I make myself work or do whatever the task is because I want the result after. Even if I don't want to, I do it. And that's exactly what I had to do now in this different area of my life. And so, it's a perspective shift that changed a lot for me recently, and I hope it does for you as well. If you're that person who you can always push yourself in your workouts, but you can't do it with nutrition— excuse me, you don't do it with your nutrition, because you can do it and you will do it moving forward. Sometimes, it's supposed to feel very challenging. It's supposed to feel uncomfortable, and you're supposed to push through it. This is another example that we can segue into. I think there's this thought around you shouldn't be pushing through difficult times and things should just feel and flow easy. Well, that's just not the case. Just like your workouts, it's not supposed to tickle. You're supposed to get challenged and you're supposed to show up and push through. And the way I think of this, it's almost proof that you're at a level-up phase in your life. For those who played video games, and even if not, you can understand this concept. There was different levels and characters that you could unlock the higher up you got ranked. If you're faced with something that's challenging you, this is a sign that you're at a breaking point in a good way. This is the sign you You're on the cusp of going to the next level, but if you put your tail between your legs and turn around, you won't. You'll stay right where you're at, and I know that's not what you want to do because if you're listening to this podcast, you want to level up. You want to improve your life. You want to push yourself. So what I want you to do is to take a second to really think about. Where are you expecting things to be or feel easy and then quit when it isn't? Is it with your workouts? Is it with waking up early? Are you expecting things to be easy and you just wake up early and you're gonna change overnight and you're gonna become this person? Are you— is— have you never tracked your calories before, weighing your food on a food scale, but you expect it to be easy? Are you expecting meal prep every single week to be easy for you? Where are you expecting things to feel easy and then quitting when it isn't? Because this, whatever that is for you, is your biggest opportunity, and I really want you to listen to me for a second because you're not going to get this information anywhere else for free. By the way, before I talk about what exactly this is, If you're somebody who either needs a free calorie calculator or a free workout program, you can click the link in the show notes of this podcast because I have both of those things there for you if you think that can help you in this journey. Now, wherever you feel you are struggling the most— most people view this as their worst area, your nutrition. It's where you suck the most. I view it differently. I view it as your biggest opportunity area, and what if you viewed it as that? What if you viewed the thing you're struggling with the most in a positive way? Do you think instead of having such a negative connotation or thought process around it, you'd instead now view it as something that can help you reach your goals? Let me answer that for you. The answer is yes, you will. In fact, it's science-backed. Your brain will start to change its neurochemistry around whatever that thing is for you, and it will start looking for solutions. It will start looking for ways to stay on track. It'll start looking for quick and easy wins to help instead of I suck. This sucks, it's holding me back. Well, no wonder you haven't found a fucking solution for it yet. How can your brain find a solution for pushing you through it if that's all you think about? You should be getting excited about whatever that you are feeling like is holding you back because that will actually catapult you to the next level. It's what will allow you to reach that new height on the mountain. But you really got to think about what that area is for you. Stop expecting it to feel easy and embrace the challenge. Perfect segue into the next segment: how to embrace the challenge. The first way is you can start to reframe the difficult times and reframe your self-talk. And you guys know me, I am not a granola, unicorns, foo-foo kind of person, but your self-talk matters a lot. We talked about this in the Identity Podcast last week, which by the way, if you haven't listened to the Identity Podcast, I believe the title is How to Build the Identity of a Fit Person Before You Are One, or something along those lines, you need to go listen to that podcast immediately after you listen to this one. It's one of, if not my most popular episodes in the past 6 years of me doing this podcast, so go check it out. But your self-talk creates your perception of reality. Again, if you think this is too hard and you can't do this, where is your brain going to go after that? I can't do this. I won't do this. I'm gonna quit. Too hard means you can't do it. Why would your brain try? Why would it come up with a solution? Why would it find a way? Surprise, it wouldn't. Instead, when you have the self-talk of this is too hard and you change the perspective to this is me about to level up, this is me growing stronger, This is me in the gym grinding through a heavy set of deadlifts or a heavy set of squats. Whatever works for you. You got to think about what's going to work for you. But if that visualization of when you are really struggling with meal prep, you'd stop and you say, wait a minute, this is just like when I'm in the gym pushing through a set of Bulgarian split squats that nobody fucking likes. Somebody emailed me the other day who joined our Clubhouse 8-week challenge, and she was like, does anybody like Bulgarian split squats? I was like, you do now. Um, but that perspective shift— your action item leaving this podcast is to find and replace one negative thought a day from this is too hard, why is this so hard for me, into a positive momentum-building perspective change. Just do one a day. You're not going to change your entire thought process overnight after listening to this podcast, so don't expect yourself to, but make it a goal to do once a day. If you do that for a week and then a month and then 3 months, that is how you change your mindset, just like you change your strength in the gym. Now the second action item: pick one hard habit and shrink it down until it's manageable and consistent. So if working out is really hard for you right now, shrink it down until it's manageable or it feels easy. This may look like going from four times a week to two times a week. This might look like going from 60 minutes to 20 minutes, whatever it looks like for you. The goal here is you shrink it down to stay ruthlessly consistent with it. And then if you end up doing more, awesome, you ended up doing more. Or when it becomes a habit, no doubt that you're gonna do that, you add a little bit more. And let me clarify, you add a little bit more. You don't go trying to change everything all at once. Just like you don't go from squatting 100 pounds one week to 1,000 pounds the next week. You go from 100 to 105, 105 to 110, 5 reps to 6 reps. The same shit goes for your mental habits, for your meal prep, for your sleep schedule, whatever it is that you're struggling with. Stop trying to take it from 100 pounds to 1,000 pounds overnight, and then stop getting pissed when you don't. You're beating yourself up and being so hard on yourself for no fucking reason. Again, Uncle Eric here to tell you, stop doing that shit. When it becomes a habit, you add a little bit more, and then over time, just like how you add weight in the gym, You will change your habits. And the third, track the reps, not the results. This goes in line with what we said in last week's podcast about celebrating the actions that you take to become the person that you want to become. Track and write down what you did this week that was hard, but you overcame it anyway. Because just like in working out, You're gonna have to grind through some of the reps sometimes. The expectation or thought that when something is difficult, it's a reason to back away— you don't do that in your workouts. You don't do it in your life. You don't want to be that person who quits when it gets difficult. You've been that person for the past year, 5 years, 10 years. Don't fucking be that person anymore. When something is difficult, do what we said. Lean into it, change your perspective, embrace it, and keep moving. And when you do it, write it down. And at the end of the week, what's going to happen? You're going to look back on your notes for that week, wherever you're writing this down at, and you're going to literally see all of the hard things that you overcame and pushed through. This will create proof. Remember, like we said, you have to have proof that you can become the person who does not quit when it gets difficult. And when you write it down and you look at it, it's undeniable. It's right in front of you. Do you think you'll become the person who doesn't quit then when things get hard? I think so too. So that's your third action item. And a bonus one I'm going to throw in here, anything in your life that is the most difficult, that's the stuff that is actually worth it. When I think about where I derive a lot of my fulfillment and quite transparently self-worth from, it's, it's my business, it's my app, it's my discipline and dedication even when I don't want to do things. For right or for wrong, it's the truth because all of those things are incredibly difficult. Like, I was talking to my dad about this the other day. You guys, building this business for me is the fucking hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life, and it's not like it's— I could literally sit here and cry real tears about how hard this is for me. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done and ever will do, but it's also the thing I'm most proud of and I'm most fulfilled with. And you've had times in your life where you've really been challenged, but you've pushed through and it's been worth it. So the stuff that you feel like is so difficult, it's supposed to be. You're supposed to embrace it. You're supposed to push through that. That's what Whatever you believe in, this is what I believe. I believe God puts you in these positions to be able to overcome them. He wouldn't give you something you can't handle. Now, you might need to gain some new skills to handle it. You might need to sharpen your iron a bit to handle it, but he's not going to put something in front of you that he doesn't believe you can overcome. So these times and these things you're struggling with, embrace it. Do what we talked about earlier. Take your action items. Reframe the self-talk and go attack this week. Don't back down. Don't turn around. I've used this analogy before. If life is punching you in the face and you're in a boxing ring, don't just sit there and take it. Do something to fight back. That doesn't mean you're not going to get punched in the mouth sometimes, and it doesn't mean it might not take 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 punches back. To actually land one, but don't just sit there and take it. Fight back. That's what I want you to do this week moving forward. If this podcast resonated with you, please take a screenshot and share it on your social media and tag me. And also share it with someone who can benefit from hearing this. Don't be selfish. Guys, this show is fucking good, and I know it, and you know it too. And I don't say that very often, but I'm putting a lot of time and a lot of effort into prepping for these podcasts, prepping myself in a mental space to be able to give you the best that I possibly can. I know this shit is good, and you know it too. So share it with someone today. You could be the reason someone changes their life from this podcast. So don't be selfish. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And the very last thing I will say is if you like my enthusiasm, if you like my philosophy, we offer coaching to help you in your journey. Like I said, it's what we do as a business. It's the only way myself or my coaches put food on our table is by running a real business, coaching real people. Click the link in the show notes of this podcast. We would love to help you out. Thank you so much for listening, and we will chat next time.