ERF 939: Your Brain Wants You Fat: Here’s How to Fight Back

I know exactly what happens. You start fresh on Monday, you have your gym clothes laid out, you have a couple of meals prepped in the fridge, you have a really good plan to stay on track. But then by Wednesday, you're not really feeling it. By Friday, you've already missed a workout or two. Maybe you've missed a day of your steps. Maybe you've gone over your calories, forgot to track calories. The weekend rolls around, you certainly don't want to stay on track then, so you fall off. And now— Your brain goes to, this is going to be just like every other time. I'm going to start something, I'm not going to finish it. Why would I put in all this effort if I'm not going to stay consistent? I'm just somebody who can't stay consistent. I don't have willpower. I'm going to be fat forever. I'm lazy. In this episode of the Eric Roberts Fitness Podcast, we're going to grab that voice by the throat and silence it, because my thesis is this isn't about your workouts or your nutrition plan or getting your daily steps. You know what to do, but it's those times in the weak moments, in the fork in the road. Either go left and go off track, or go right and stay on track. And I believe if you can win those moments, you're going to win your journey long term. And the first thing I want to talk with you through is the psychology of quitting. And I need you to understand that it's not a character flaw by you. You need to stop feeling guilty, stop feeling shameful, stop feeling like it's just— there's something wrong with you. It's not. It's actually biology. Our brains are wired for survival. Survival means conserving energy and avoiding discomfort. When you try to change, your brain views that as a threat because it is something outside of the norm. Your body just wants to maintain its current state. Think of your brain like an overprotective parent who is terrified of getting hurt. When you start a diet or a workout routine, that overprotective parent starts screaming, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is uncomfortable. We're hungry, we're sore, this feels unsafe. Go back to the couch where it's warm. Go back to not having to wake up early. Go back to not tracking your calories because that's safe. It's not that you're lazy, you're just fighting millions of years of biology that want you to be a Soft, safe potato. And the struggle isn't you versus your willpower, it's you versus your biology. And when you can understand that, you start to feel less shameful, you start to feel less guilty, less bad about yourself. And if you feel less shameful, guilty, bad about yourself, you'll actually be able to take steps forward, take actions forward to combat against these things and help set yourself up for success. And the other— Analogy I wrote down here was, imagine your life is a house set to 70 degrees, and that's like your current weight and habits. You try to change the temperature to 65 degrees. What does the furnace do? It kicks on to get you back to 70. And that's why a lot of people quote unquote self-sabotage is you lose 5 pounds and your internal thermostat's like, whoa, we're dropping too low. We're changing our normal. It triggers you to kind of want to go back to your set point. And my goal in this podcast and what we do with all of our online coaching clients is not to fight the furnace, but to slowly reset the dial to get you to be able to take these actions consistently to actually change. And the first roadblock that I wanna go through is, what if I fail again? And so many people struggle with this and it causes them to Not even start their journey, let alone fall off track their journey. And I wanna reframe this fear of failure as a feel— as, I'm sorry, as a fear of the status quo. Because the psychology behind this is, this is loss aversion. We feel the pain of losing or failing twice as intensely as the pleasure of gaining. So imagine you're at a casino and choice A You don't play. You buy chips, but you just keep them in your pocket and you walk out with exactly what you came in with. You are guaranteed not to win anything, but you're also guaranteed not to fail because you don't even try. And then choice B, you put a chip on the table. You might lose it, but you also might hit the jackpot. So when you say, I'm afraid to try because I might fail, you're choosing option A. You're choosing 100% guaranteed failure by not even trying, because that's what not trying is. That's what not starting is. You'll stay the exact same, and it's 100% chance you'll fail because you're scared of a 50% chance of failure. So either way, there's 3 options. Choice A, you do nothing and fail. Choice B, you try and fail. Choice C, you try and actually are successful. Only one of those— sorry, only 2 of those allow you to have a chance at being successful. And that's actually trying. In our coaching program, we don't like play the game to avoid losing. We play the game to win. And you might not win as quick as you want to, but when you actually take the steps, you have— you give yourself a chance. And also, I want you to think of this like if you have kids or you were a toddler at one point, Have you seen a baby try to learn how to walk? When they stand up and they take a step, sometimes they fall right back on their butt. And do you say, oh, look at that failure. He or she tried and failed. They should just give up and crawl for the rest of their life. No, you clap and you say, get the hell up. Like, let's go. That was good. You're that baby. You're that toddler. Falling isn't the end of the journey. It's just— it's the process of learning. It's the process of learning what does work, what doesn't work. So that you can get closer to figuring out your equation for success. So roadblock number 2 is it's not happening fast enough. And my goal here is to fix the gap between expectation and reality. And this concept of results lag behind effort. So think of it like this. Imagine an ice cube sitting on a table in a room that's 20 degrees. You start heating up the room. 21 degrees, nothing happens. 25 degrees, nothing happens. 29 degrees, it's still just a solid block of ice. You're thinking, this isn't working. I'm putting in energy, but I see no change. But then you hit 32 degrees, and all of a sudden, the ice begins to melt. But people quit at 25 degrees, 29 degrees, 31 degrees. They put in all the work. They built up all this potential, But walk away right before the ice cube starts to melt. And that's kind of like the way we approach our coaching. It's not just about calories and macros and setting a step goal, but it's more about like, we're the thermometer telling you, keep going. Like, you're at 31 degrees. It's been 4 weeks in your journey. You're not gonna lose all the weight in a month because you didn't gain all the weight in a month. And this other analogy I use a lot, which I've done in videos before, is at a roll of paper Look at a roll of paper towels. If you tear off 1 sheet, does the roll look any different? What if you tear off 5 sheets? Still doesn't look that different. But if you tear off 100 sheets, now the roll starts to look different. And every sheet that you tear off is 1 successful day sticking to your goals. So you're not gonna see it in 5 days or 14 days, but you're gonna see it in 30, 60, 90, 120, 365. But if you just stop after you tear off 5 sheets of paper, well, then no, of course it's not. It's not gonna look any different. You gotta stick with it long enough for you to actually see this come to fruition. So that's roadblock number 2. Roadblock number 3 is I don't feel like it today. And I just nailed my camera. For those of you who are watching on YouTube, I'm sorry about that. Which, by the way, the podcast is now on YouTube. You can search up the Eric Roberts Fitness Podcast, or we'll put a link in the description below. If you want to watch the podcast. What's going on, guys? Quick interruption to the podcast. If the podcast helps you, imagine having me and my team in your pocket every day. That sounds kind of weird, but that's exactly what you get when you join our all-in-one Clubhouse app. You'll get done-for-you workout programs, calorie and protein targets personalized to you, a recipe database so you never get bored of the food you're eating, and a one-on-one coach's chat where you can ask questions at any time. It's like turning this podcast into an action plan. So if you want structure without the price tag of one-on-one coaching, click the link in the show notes of this podcast to join our Clubhouse app. It is less than $2 a day. That is less than a cup of coffee per day. If you think less than a cup of coffee per day is worth it for your fitness journey, again, click the link in the show notes of this podcast to join our all-in-one Clubhouse app. Now let's get back to the podcast. But roadblock number 3 is I don't feel like it today. So we're trying to separate motivation, which is a feeling, versus discipline, which is an action. And the thought process behind this is temporary discounting. We value immediate comfort more than future reward. So motivation is like that party friend who's super fun but always cancels last minute. Like you can't rely on them to drive you to the airport or to actually show up to the event. Whereas discipline is like, I'm, I'm a dog person. I don't like cats personally. They're fine, but dogs are way better. But discipline is like a loyal dog. It's there every day, rain or shine. It's always next to you. So stop waiting for your flaky friend to show up. Just like take your dog instead. That's what you want to think of on your journey is being and having that loyal dog there with your discipline. And also imagine if you called your boss today and said, hey, I'm not coming into work. I just, I just don't feel like it. The vibes aren't there. My motivation isn't there. What would happen? You'd get fired. You go to work because you're a professional and you want the paycheck. You want the rewards that come from going to work. So you need to treat your health like a job. You don't have to feel like it to do the work to cash the paycheck. And in fact, most of you listening to this— I'm lucky because I love what I do, but most of you don't like going to work every day. But you still go because you need the reward. And trust me, just like you need your health, you need to lose this weight. You need to get better blood work. You need to lower your A1C. You need to do these things. So you need to show up and take the action and have the discipline even when you don't feel like it. And then roadblock number 4 is this perfectionist all-or-nothing mentality. And we're trying to destroy that all-or-nothing mentality. And the classic example of this, you've probably heard this before, but I'll use it just because it's, it's so well known and it's so true. If you're driving down the highway and you get a flat tire, I hope you don't, but if you do, do you get out of the car, pull out a knife, and then slash all the other tires? No. Do you say, well, uh, this car is ruined. There's one flat tire. The rest of the car works perfect. It's brand new, but I just left the lot and I ran into a pothole and now I have a flat tire. So I'm just gonna say fuck this car and go get a brand new one. No, you just fix the flat tire and you keep going. And this concept is one cookie is the flat tire, one missed workout is the flat tire, a couple of days off track is the flat tire. Don't slash the other 3 tires by binge eating for the rest of the weekend. That just doesn't make any sense. It's also— imagine you're pouring A glass of water or you're pouring a protein shake into a glass. If you pour a little bit off to the side, a little bit spills, do you just pour out the rest of the protein shake? You just pour out the rest of the water and don't drink it because you missed a little bit? You overpoured a little bit? You poured a little bit off to the side? No, you just clean it up and you keep moving with your day. So the other analogy I wrote down for this was if you accidentally drop your phone on the floor, which we've all done, especially if you're in the gym. What is this phenomenon, by the way, of us just throwing our phones around in the gym? Why, why do we do this? But if that happens, do you pick it up, look at it, and then smash it with a hammer repeatedly? Like, again, it sounds so crazy, but this is what we do with our fitness. This is what we do with our diet. No, you pick it up, you wipe it off, you make sure it's not— the screen isn't cracked, God forbid, or the camera isn't cracked, and you just keep moving on with your day. So stop smashing your diet with a hammer. Stop smashing your workout routine or your calorie tracking with a hammer because you dropped it once. Like, I know this by coaching thousands of people. A lot of people will do good. They'll track their breakfast, they'll track their lunch, but they don't track their dinner. And they kind of start to get into this pattern of this. And just because you're not tracking your dinner, number one, it doesn't mean you should just go completely off the, off the rails and just eat whatever the fuck you want in whatever quantity you want. And also, number two, it doesn't mean that like, okay, maybe you didn't track dinner, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Well, there's still 4 days left of the week. You can still end up tracking your dinners more times this week than not. Isn't that crazy? You don't track Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Most people would say, well, this week is a wash. I might as well just restart on Monday. When in all reality, you could track Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and you would still be tracking more days that week than not. And even if it's only 2 days, Throughout the week. 2 days is more than 0 days. And again, this goes back to the first point that we talked about, this guilt and the shame. If there's one thing I want you to take away from this, and I, and I hope these like mental reframes are hitting home for you, but if there's one thing to take away from this, you can't have discipline and take action when guilt or shame is apparent. And I know this sounds like foo-foo. I know this sounds like, well, I, I got to motivate myself to do it. You're not gonna motivate yourself by feeling an overwhelming amount of shame and guilt. Now, I'll be really real with you. I do think there is a healthy level of this, because if I don't go get my workout, yeah, I'm gonna feel guilty. I'm gonna feel like, yo, I know you should be doing this, but you just didn't do it. And that would force me to, but it's— there's a line you have to draw where if I miss a workout, I'm like, yo, you were supposed to get that workout. But it's not gonna be to the point where I'm like, Well, now I'm just a piece of shit, and now I shouldn't go get the rest of my workouts, and I shouldn't make it up tomorrow. And, you know, I'm— my willpower sucks, and I'm lazy, and I'm a loser. I say, okay, you missed this workout. You gotta do it tomorrow. You gotta make this up somehow. You gotta make sure you get this done. You can get this done. So there is a healthy level of guilt and shame, but most people don't know how to do that. Most people are too hard on themselves. You're harder on yourself than you would be to anybody else. Again, going back to the baby analogy, baby falls when you're walking. You're not like, huh, loser, you suck. Just crawl for the rest of your life. No, you encourage it. Your best friend, they fall off track with their diet for a couple of days. You don't say, loser, you should feel so guilty. No, you encourage them. And we have to be able to do these same things for yourself if You want to be consistent. If you don't want to be consistent, you want to keep falling into these traps of not staying on track, then sure. I mean, keep, keep calling yourself lazy and loser and willpower and, and think this is about willpower. You know, I've been talking a lot about how all of this is not just a willpower game. There is so much more to this. And you should be setting yourself up, whether it's environment, like we've talked about on this podcast, setting your environment up for success, making sure you have the right foods in the house. But now this particular podcast is more about the mental side of things, setting yourself up for more success by reframing some of these obstacles, some of these pitfalls, some of these downfalls, reframing it and thinking about it a little bit differently. Like we talked about with quitting earlier, it, it's not willpower, it's just like you're fighting biology, and that's why it's going to take a little bit longer than you want to sometimes. But also, once you understand that, okay, when I feel this way, that's because my body doesn't want to change. And even you just understanding that and not saying, I suck, I'm lazy, I have no willpower, you then say, okay, well, this is actually a sign that I'm changing. This is a sign I'm about to change. This is a sign I'm doing exactly what I should be doing because The way I'm feeling is my body trying to resist change. That means I'm gonna change. You almost flip it on its head to be now this super positive and productive mindset and this productive thing that happens for you, as opposed to letting it derail you. And that's— listen, like I said, we've coached tens of thousands of clients in our online coaching program. That is what separates a lot of the people who are successful versus not. They start to view their journey through a different lens. They start to turn negatives into positives. They start to look for obstacles as opportunities or challenges in a positive way instead. Because here's the real, real— you're never going to get rid of these pitfalls or downfalls or obstacles. You're never going to think like, oh, this is just going so great and it's going as fast as I want it to. No, you're always gonna want it to be faster. You're never gonna stop thinking, oh man, like this, this, this fucked up all my progress. That's never gonna go away. But the way you can reframe it once you do think that is, and I think that should be the goal. The goal isn't to never have a perfectionist mindset ever again. The goal is when you have this all or nothing mindset creep in, you're able to use some of these analogies and metaphors and reframes to then quickly turn that into a positive. Turn it into an opportunity, turn it into something where you see, wait a minute, this is actually exactly what I want to do and should be doing. And you use that as fuel for your journey. And that's kind of, you know, one of the last things I'll say here is like all the reality— oh, I'm sorry, all the analogies I gave you, I'm sure you've been nodding your head, but like, you know, at 7:30 PM on a Friday night when you've had a long day at work, the kids are screaming, there's, you know, snacks and cookies on the kitchen counter. A lot of the logic just goes out of the window. The, the, the overprotective part of your brain takes over. And that's where I'm, I'm hoping to make this podcast for you. And this is why we, we coach people. You don't really need another PDF. You don't need another list of foods. Like, you know, eating apples are healthy. You know, we should be strength training. You need more or less a GPS. You need a plan. You need a GPS to reroute you when there's obstacles that come up. You need a GPS to reroute your brain and your thought process to say, okay, this came up, but here's how we work through this, which is the analogies and, and the reframes that I just gave you. And that's kind of what we do with our online coaching program. And, you know, again, I, I will continue to say this. I believe great coaching is not Based around calories and macros and the plan. Yes, that's a part of it, but really what you need is somebody to guide you and hold you accountable and put you in the right direction and call you out on your bullshit and help you reframe and help you not feel so guilty and so shameful, help you stay accountable, help you navigate through some of these challenging times, because that's the only way you're going to stay consistent. Otherwise, you'll just keep white-knuckling and trying to use willpower which hasn't worked for you thus far, which is why you are where you are. So if you're at all interested in getting some top-tier, top-of-the-line, best-of-the-best coaching, which I firmly believe that we offer— it's not just about the plan, it's about the coaching. So if you want to get top-of-the-line coaching, you can click the link in the description of this podcast or the description of the video if you're watching to check out our online coaching program. If this stuff resonated with you, If I kind of called out your problems and you're like, fuck, he's talking right to me, at some point you just have to take action on the next step. And if it hasn't been working on your own, the next step is just getting some extra help, getting the GPS, getting the personalized guidance, having somebody in your corner to motivate and push you. So you can click the link in the show notes of the podcast to check out our online coaching program. Guys, that was the podcast for today. I do have to hop off to a meeting, but I love you. I appreciate you. I really hope this podcast helped you, and we will chat next time.