Queer people negotiate relationship terms explicitly because they can't assume shared understandings. Straight couples often skip this conversation and assume they're on the same page, but they could learn from being more direct about what they actually want.
A lot of queer people, they have to approach each individual relationship from a blank slate, where they have to negotiate all the terms. Who knows that we're even gay? Who do we come out to? Are we open? Are we closed? All these different aspects need to be addressed explicitly. Whereas a lot of straight people, they say, okay, you want to be my girlfriend? Sure. Do you want to be my boyfriend? Great. And they think that they both understand what they mean by that. That's one of the things that I think that straights can learn from gays and queers is that it's a good idea to kind of discuss some of these attributes of the relationship more explicitly,
