3 things to consider before you start IVF

Hey, hey! I hope you're having a great day. Welcome to my Noontime Chats. I'm Erica Hoke, for those of you that don't know me. If you're watching on YouTube, go ahead and hit that like, that subscribe button so you get notified when I come on here live Monday, Wednesday, Friday at noon. Except today we're pre-recorded because I'm out and about with my family. So I wanted to come on here and talk to you today about the 3 things— let's see, what's our topic today? 3 things to consider before IVF. So a lot of times people, you know, when you're going through infertility, it's such a tender time in your life. Everything is not going, you know, the way that you want it to, and you're just trying to get to the end result, which is that baby. But I would tell you that there are definitely some things that you want to take into consideration before you go to IVF. So I want to put my notes up here. Oops, and I hit my phone there. Um, because there's a lot that you, um, need to take into consideration before you jump into IVF. And some people just think that that's their only next step and that, um, that that's the thing to do. Like, we haven't gotten pregnant in 6 months, or we haven't gotten pregnant in a year, and now we don't know what to do, so we're just going to go to IVF. What I would say to you is that I would be— for those of you that don't know my story, I was not a candidate for IVF. I had all my babies after 35, and I had almost every infertility problem, reproductive problem known to man— PCOS and endometriosis, all those things— and, um, I couldn't do IVF, y'all. And so I had to figure out the reasons why, and that's why I'm so passionate about talking to you guys about this. So there's a fine line between— this is a quote that I wrote down— so there's a fine line between picking and choosing what you're going to address with your health and what you're avoiding because you're scared. So that is my point number 1. Are you avoiding other health issues um, in an effort to not address them and going straight to IVF because you really don't want to take a hard look at, um, maybe how much alcohol you consume, or you really don't want to address, um, any kind of diet or lifestyle, um, changes because you're using those as mental health, um, coping mechanisms. And so rather than look in other areas where you might have some control, like your diet, exercise, the toxins that you're exposing yourself to, making some, some lifestyle changes, you're just going to go into the IVF because you're avoiding addressing those other health issues. So if you think that IVF is, is the only way, um, and you haven't considered addressing those mental health and lifestyle issues like diet and exercise. Um, the problem with that is, or something that, that I see that happens, is then you're going through IVF, maybe it's working, maybe it's not, but your coping mechanisms that you're using, um, to, to help, whether it's sugar addiction, whether it's caffeine, whether it's alcohol, those are actually contributing to your IVF not being successful. So people don't address health issues, they go straight to IVF, they continue doing the things that were making them not be able to get pregnant anyway, and then the IVF doesn't work, and then they just feel like the doctors tell them that they can't help them so that they can't get pregnant. Where if we would look at a foundational underlying issue and find out what that factor X is, you know, what, what that particular thing is for you, and address that then you would be able to get pregnant potentially, right? The other thing that I would tell you is we talked earlier this week— this is point number 3 for us today— is that if you want to be a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, stay-at-home parent, if you want somebody in your family to be home as the primary caregiver and you are going straight into IVF, that very thing may prevent you of having the family lifestyle of your dreams. Now, I am very much an advocate for preparing to be a stay-at-home parent while you're going through the infertility process to the most— to the best of your ability. And so I'm talking about that in a book that I've got coming out here probably by the end of the year called The Invincible Family Project. That's the first time that I've made that announcement, but I'm writing a chapter in that book and I'm focusing on on the fact of setting up yourself during your infertility period so that you can have the lifestyle that you want with the family that you're creating. So you can have the lifestyle that you want with the family that you're creating, because nothing breaks my heart more than to see people that have gone through infertility treatments. And hey, I mean, I It's gut-wrenching. It's gut-wrenching because people have $300,000 in infertility debt and they absolutely don't have any choice but for both of the parents to go to work and put those— the child or children that they have worked so hard to bring into this world into daycare. Now listen, I am— if you want to go to work and you want to be a, you know, if you, if you love your job and you want to continue that after your baby comes, then I'm all for that too. But what I'm not for is people being forced into working a job just to pay off IVF debt. Okay, so let's, let's take a look at all the things before we go down that road because IVF is a drain on— and I say IVF, so fertility, you know, reproductive intervention— is such a drain on your mental. It's a stress on your marriage. It's hard on your body. And there's a lot of things that if people just knew— and it's what I'm passionate about educating about— if people just knew ahead of time that there were some things that they could do, maybe they would try those first. And get some success before they start IVF. So if you're watching on replay and you have any questions, drop them. Let me know that you're watching this on replay. Give me a hashtag replay. Health and blessings to you guys. I will catch you Friday at noon. Bye-bye.