Infertility coach Erica Hoke shares her story of being told she had less than 1% chance of conceiving at 35, then having four children anyway. Her advice: do one thing each day to care for yourself without apology, whether that's skipping the gym or having a drink.
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I'm Erica Hoke. I'm an infertility coach and I'm here to talk to you about the things that you can do, the one thing that you can do, not the things, the one thing that you can do to help yourself not give up on your trying to conceive journey. So I really distinctly remember, um, when I was trying to conceive, I was an outside salesperson. So I went from business offices to business offices and I was newly married and people were very, you know, my customers were very happy and very excited for that for me. And so first comes marriage and then in most people's minds, the next thing is the baby carriage, right? You know that rhyme. And so they would frequently ask me, oh, when are you guys gonna have a baby? When are you guys gonna get pregnant? All the while I was going through my infertility journey. All the while I had just stepped into the ladies' room and realized that this month was not going to be my month again because I had gotten my cycle. And it was devastating. Um, if you can relate to this story, um, type me in the comments here. But it was really devastating. And as women who are going through an infertility journey, we get a lot of advice, both solicited and unsolicited. So the one thing that I'm going to tell you today, just the one thing that I will tell you that is going to help you keep going, is every day do today what you need to do for yourself to take care of yourself. So that is going to look different every day, um, without apology and without shame. That's what I want to add to it. Do what you need to do for yourself today without apology or without shame. Okay? So what that might look like is today, that might look like even though you have been trying to, or you've been abstaining from alcohol, today might be the day that you're going to go ahead and have that glass of wine. Maybe you have been trying to lose 10 pounds so that you can be your healthiest best self for your infertility journey. But maybe today is the day that you're not feeling the best and you're going to skip the gym. So in order for you to not only get through this process, you have— not only get through this process, but once you get through this process and you have a baby in your arms and you are a mom, this is gonna take you far. You need to take care of your needs first. That is going to keep you going on your infertility journey. I know, I was there. Um, there's no medical reason why I should have any of the 4 kids that I have. No medical reason. If you don't know, I had 7 diagnoses and I was not a candidate for IVF. I was told at age 35 that I had less than a 1% chance of conceiving ever. Um, and then I would need donor eggs. And here we are, you know, um, years later I've got my family. And why am I even doing this? I am doing this for you. I'm here because I am so passionate about making sure that couples that are trying to create the family of their dreams know that just because a doctor tells them that they can't help them does not mean that they can't get pregnant. All right. So I'm here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If any of this, if you related to this, go ahead and drop me a comment in the comment section, and I will see you here on Wednesday at noon Eastern time. Health and blessings to you guys. Bye-bye.
