This content was created by Erica Hoke. This content was uploaded by Erica Hoke. This is a YouTube author-chat titled "Infertility Success Author Chats: Amber Stier" (created 2022-01-25). It is an English interview-style conversation between host Erica Hoke and guest/author Amber Stier about Amber's infertility journey: years of irregular periods ultimately diagnosed as PCOS, many years of trying and seeing multiple providers before finding a specialist who addressed root causes, the treatments/tests/supplements they tried, the eventual success and life now with a 3-year-old, and advice for others (advocate for yourself, find community, and share your story). The video promotes the book "Infertility Success: Stories of Help and Hope for Your Journey."
Chapters
Erica Hoke: Hi everyone, thank you for joining me and Amber Sire for our latest edition of, um, Author Chats for Infertility Success: Stories of Help and Hope for Your Journey. So Amber is going to tell us a little bit about her chapter and where she is right now in her life. Um, Amber, thanks for being here, and thank you so Erica Hoke for being part of this, this collaboration. Tell us a little bit about why you wanted to write this chapter and share your story with others who are going through infertility.
Thank you. Thank you for having me. So I really decided to share, step out of my comfort zone and share our story because really, even in the middle of all of it, even when no one really understood the words that I was saying or the acronyms that were coming out of my mouth, they still offered their prayers. And/or I got a chance to ask them for their prayers, you know, and I knew that was just one more towards our success and one more we had than before. But for this specific chapter, I decided to share it because there's always a chance it's going to make a small difference. You know, you don't— never know who's watching. And actually, it happened about 3 years ago. I had shared on Facebook an article about the doctor I was seeing, and that sparked a chain of events that then led to someone else having their own success. And she was just a friend of a friend at the time, and I didn't really know she was listening or watching, you know, and she ended up having her own success story. So you really have no idea who's watching or what impact it may have. So really just take your, take, take that chance to share your story whenever you get it.
Yeah, absolutely. When you said that, I just got like goosebumps all over, you know, because to be able to have that kind of ripple effect and have that impact on someone's life, you know, like you said, even if it's just one person, I think all of us, all 20 of us authors agree that we would have written the story, we would have done the collaboration if it only helped one person. Overall. And so, yeah, knowing that the potential is there to impact so many more lives and families is really humbling, I know, for me. So tell us a little bit about your chapter. Take us on your journey.
And, um, right, so really long journey.
I mean, yeah, you'll find out is—
yeah, it was— I'm— in, in particular, it was 6 years long, but But in my chapter, I kind of talk about how frustrated I am with the term normal, you know, and I had abnormal periods growing up and they were always kind of brushed off to the side as normal. But that abnormality was just the beginning. It was at the stage for all the problems that I had once I got married and was trying to start a family. And it came to find out I have PCOS. And I said, it took us 6 years and, um, to conceive the one that actually stuck. So all of the things that come in between there. Uh, so in my chapter, I share kind of the tests that we had taken and, um, some of the supplements, the diagnoses, and The real game changer for us was the doctor that we decided to see, actually, that God had led us to eventually. Her specialty is what made all the difference, is because she saw me for me and not the average of women. And she specializes in getting to the root cause and rather than trying to throw medications or procedures kind of at, at what was going on with me. So I'm just so grateful for her and, and the work that she does.
Yeah, that's amazing. And I think that whether it's an OB-GYN or a specialist, we all just want to be seen as individuals, and we all need to be seen as individuals, right? I mean, I think that that's what we found in, in a lot of the author's stories is that we pushed for providers, practitioners that would see us as an individual and not lump us into, you know, a big standard statistic.
Right, right. Absolutely. And to advocate for yourself on some of these tests and yeah.
Yeah. So how long did it take you to get to that point where you found somebody? How many, how many trials and errors. Uh, right.
I've just seen— yeah, I had seen, um, 2 regular OB-GYNs and, you know, a regular fertility specialist, and then finally I got to her. And it was that entire 6, 6+ years of marriage. So we kind of started trying as soon as we got married. We never prevented, I guess you could say, but You know, after 6 months, I kind of knew that this wasn't going to be easy. It just wasn't right.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
And I want to circle—
all the red flags were there. Now looking back, all the red flags were there, but yeah.
Yeah.
Let's talk about that time for somebody else.
I know. I know. Well, let's talk about those red flags. Like, I really want to highlight that. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but let's circle back around to those red flags. Because you said something really important for our audience to hear, and that's the normalizing of dysfunction in your body and in your cycles. Like, so many women are told that that's just how periods are, either by a doctor or their mom, um, or other women in their lives, right? So what was it for you? Were you being told by medical community? I think that you said that maybe, or was it How did, how did that get normalized for you? Sure.
So, um, as a teenager, I was only having probably 3, 4 periods a year, and they said, you're thin, you're athletic, you know, all these things, all the excuses, I guess, that said, yeah, you know, well, you're not, you're not sexually active, so there's, you know, why even worry about it, right? Right. Yeah, right. Yeah, enjoy it. Enjoy it is what I heard. Yes, be thankful. And because everybody else, you know, has to deal with it every month. And, and I think maybe my mother thought the same thing. She didn't really question it. I think just because she wasn't used to it, she didn't, you know, had no experience with it. She was always regular, you know, never had any troubles at all. And so I can't Can't knock her for it because, you know, she didn't know any different, you know. So, and didn't question the doctors, you know. You don't question doctors, right?
Right. Some of us don't, right?
You know, exactly. You don't have any trouble, you don't question the doctors, you know. Exactly. So that was my biggest red flag. Um, and then it happened again right as I got married. There was a good 6-month span. I thought It's time to go to the doctor.
Right, right. Well, thank goodness that you advocated for yourself. So all that advocating and that persistence paid off. Tell us a little bit about what your life looks like now.
Oh my, right. So right now, so it's wild and crazy. I have a 3-year-old and he is absolutely amazing. He is just inquisitive and, you know, just into everything. Just, he's just so, he's smart. I mean, everybody's kid is the smartest kid, right? But it's just so interesting to see them grow. And my husband and I are kind of navigating that, you know, they're, you're in charge of this tiny human that basically knows no truth until you, till you teach it to them. You know, and, and we ran into that at Christmas time, you know, you know, what, what are his beliefs that we're going to instill in him, you know? It's just, he's completely a blank slate, and that's just so amazing to me, you know. And so he's just into everything, and, and I'm so grateful to be on this side of that season.
Yeah. Well, congratulations, and that age is so fun. It's magical. Um, I think, I mean, every stage is your favorite because you're growing along with your kid as a parent, but that 3 to 5 year old, 3 to 6 is really, really something special when they're kind of coming online and can understand things and learning so quickly. So, well, you— yeah, so you touched on, um, I kind of lost my train of thought, sorry, but you touched on something, um, I think it was about helping people. You said something at the end, but anyway, we'll, we'll just circle to how you're helping people now, or what you would say. Sorry, uh, I think it was, uh Um, you had said something about telling people that are still going through infertility, the hindsight thing. So that's, that's what I'm trying to say. What would you say in hindsight to somebody, um, who is still in the trenches, so to speak, still feeling, um, you know, feeling the pain of the monthly cycles not working out for them, not getting pregnant, and having to see practitioner after practitioner or just questioning whether that is even the right next— the next right step for them. What would you say to them going— as they're going through that?
Right. And I thought about this. I'm thinking, you know, I know it's said a lot, but— and I know it's hard to not feel lonely, but just know that you're not alone. You know, your support system likely isn't your closest family and friends. But, and that's okay, right? Because, you know, you know, you just need to find that community. They exist, obviously, at least minimum 20 of us exist, right? Right. From this book. And so you're not alone. You know, this journey kind of bonds us together in a way that, you know, you have someone to talk to that truly understands And that kind of relieves a burden, I feel like, you know, that you're not going through it, you know, you're not juggling all this information in your own mind. You know, you can find a group that you can vent to, you can ask questions, you can ask for prayers, you know, you can, you just never have to feel like you have to muddle through through the appointments and the diagnoses, like you had said, you know, I guess, or lack thereof, you know, sometimes that's other people's issues. But just, or even things that come up in your relationship with your husband, there's so many things that you need that community for. And that would be my suggestion, is to find that community where you can kind of be yourself and ask those questions and not be alone, you know, and they're rooting for your success as well. And then also to, to share your story because again, you don't know the impact of that.
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the 20 authors in this book share their tips, their best tips throughout their chapter., things that worked for them, things that in hindsight they wish maybe they had done earlier or better or sooner. And like we said before, we, we all feel very strongly that this could make all the difference in the world to your journey. So thank you so much for being here today, and thanks for sharing your story. Um, if you'd like more information about, uh, Amber's story and her chapter, you can find Infertility Success Stories of Help and Hope for Your Journey on amazon.com and Kindle also. All right, thanks so much.
