This content was created by Erica Hoke. This content was uploaded by Erica Hoke. This is a YouTube video titled "The ONE Thing That's Completely in Your Control That May Be Stopping YOU from Getting Pregnant" (created 2022-04-06). It is a solo spoken monologue in which the host addresses viewers about coping with infertility, framing mindset as the one controllable factor. The speaker recommends practical strategies—using a notebook to brain-dump 'what-ifs', creating game plans for each worry, using affirmations and reframes (e.g., treating a failed cycle as progress)—and briefly references neuroplasticity. The tone is instructional and supportive, with the host encouraging continued engagement and noting their regular posting/streaming schedule.
Chapters
I'm trying something new today. Hopefully you can hear me. My tech did not work out yesterday at all. So I want to talk to you today about the one thing that is completely in your control that could be preventing you from getting pregnant. And what is that thing? The one thing that is completely in your control is how you think about the infertility journey. And why that's so important is I have to get you to a place that you can continue, because if you can't cope, then you can't continue, right? I see it every day, um, women who are just struggling with the daily, um, and cyclical disappointments, the monthly disappointments of not being able to get pregnant. So, you know, we, we all get in our heads about it, right? And I'm talking to you about this, uh, today because my, my, um, my friend that is my— sorry, I can't spit it out— my friend that's my business mentor, um, she reminded me of how I actually coped during this whole infertility journey, and I want to share it with you because it's so important. Again, if we can't control our mindset, if we can't, um, deal with the heavy baggage that comes with the infertility journey, then we are not going to be able to continue. So if you get all in your head, like I used to, and like I still can, if this is you, go ahead and drop me a comment like, hey, that's me, I'm in my head all the time about everything, right? All right, so the thing that I used to do to help me cope, one of the things that I used to do was I used to write down all the things that could go wrong. And I would, um, and then come up with a solution with them. So I am a big fan of notebooks. I have lots of them everywhere, all the time, shelves of full notebooks. So if you want to get a new notebook for this, I would recommend it. Um, it's something that you can brain dump into. And then, so it's two, two things. So I want you to dump out all the things, all the what-ifs, in your brain. And then what we're gonna do is we're gonna go through one by one and we're going to provide a game plan for what if that happens. What if I'm not pregnant this month? Okay, what are the things that you're gonna change for your cycle next month? One of the things that I used to say to myself is when I had a failed cycle was, well, that's one more cycle closer to to getting pregnant. Well, my cycle came on time, so that means my body is working well. So things like that, either affirmations or goals, plans to move forward. The reason that we wanna do this, and it's so important, is that you wanna get that out of your head. Because as long as it stays in your head and it's not on paper and you don't have a game plan for it, your mind is constantly trying to figure out how to fix this problem for you, right? I'm not going to go into the neuroplasticity of it, but I love neuroplasticity. You can Google it, but it's a real thing. Like, your brain tries to help you out and problem solve for you. So, um, not only that, it starts to be your reality, right? So if you're constantly, um, sitting in a negative space, if you're telling yourself, I'm never going to get pregnant, This is never going to work. It's never going to work because your body is obeying basically what you're telling yourself. Now, I'm not trying to impart toxic positivity on you. I'm not here for that at all. I want you to know that I know as well as anybody else how much this journey sucks and how hard it is, but we have to put some tools in place to help ourselves. Okay. These are the things that are going to help you move forward. And we're going to be talking a lot about them because I see this as one of the biggest struggles for women during the journey is just coping so that you can move forward. So sorry about my video audio yesterday, but I will see you tomorrow. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at noon Eastern Standard Time, and Tuesday and Thursday, whenever I get a minute. Okay. Health and blessings to you guys. Bye-bye.
