PPI #103: The 5 LESSONS In Life People Learn TOO LATE

Today, I want to take you through five lessons that people learn far too late in life and as a result, not end up living the life of their dreams, not end up living the life that they wanted to live. And I don't want any of that to happen to you. So please stick around for the whole message today so that you can make sure that you're not committing any of these grave errors in your life.

Hi, my name is Eric Partaker, and I'm on a mission to help people reach their full, fullest potential in both their business and life. So let's dive straight into it. So, five lessons that people learn far too late in life. And these lessons, by the way, are inspired by a book called the Top Five Regrets of the Dime. So lesson number one is people effectively don't follow their dreams. They fail to believe in themselves. They fail to pursue the things that they had always wanted to do. And they get to the end of their life or somewhere during the course of their life, they look back and they ask themselves, what? Well, yeah, but what about me? What about my dreams? What about the things that I wanted to be doing with my life? Perhaps they've been living in the shadow of someone else, or perhaps they just not had the courage to express the things that they really want to be doing and going after in their life. And I'll share a dream, for example, for my life. I've always had the dream of being able to help people become all that they're capable of being. I've always had that dream of helping people close the gap between their current self and their best self. It was a dream that festered away in me for years, more than a decade, and I wasn't really doing anything about it. And then one day I decided to no, I'm going to do something about this. It's a journey that I've been on, trying to become my fullest in both my business and life. And that's a journey that I want to help others do as well. That's a journey that I want to help you complete as well. And so I started to dive into the space. I started to make videos, I started to write blog posts. I started to coach and mentor entrepreneurs, leaders, individuals, anybody who had an appetite for trying to close that gap between their current and their best self. I wasn't going to allow myself to sit there and watch my dreams pass me by. I didn't want to commit that grave error, that grave mistake of not following my dreams. So a question for you is, do you have any Dreams that you've had in the past or that you currently have that are unfulfilled. And is there a risk of you getting to a point in your life where you'll look back with regret and ask yourself, why didn't I pursue those dreams? Don't let that happen to you. Don't let life pass you by without pursuing the things that have always been on your list, that are more, you know, that are very important to you. Number two lesson that people learn far too late in life is don't work too hard. So this is another one that, unfortunately, I learned the hard way as well. About 10 years ago, I was on a plane returning back to London. I started to feel very unwell in my chest. A lot of pain going through the left shoulder, down the left arm. Friend sat next to me, realized that I was unwell, got the attention of a stewardess who frantically called for a doctor on board. Doctor rushed over, took my vital signs, and said, we need to land the plane immediately. I think he's having a heart attack. Now, luckily, I'd be saved, or else this would be the most amazing trick of the book that I'm talking to you here from the grave. No, that's not happening. I am still alive. But plane emergency landed. I was taken into a waiting ambulance. They administered nitrates to open up the arteries, increased blood flow to my heart. And the next day I woke up and I realized, you know, what am I doing? I'm working way too hard. The 10 years prior to that had been absolutely obsessed with achievement. Working my tail off at McKinsey and Company, helping build up Skype before we sold it to ebay with several of my own businesses. And it was all in this endless pursuit of achievement. And I was working way too hard. And then after that point, I realized that I had to pursue life in a more balanced way. I couldn't just maximize myself on the work front. Now I also had to do my best in the health department. I also had to do my best with my relationship. So I would really encourage you to ask yourself, are you working way too hard? And if you are working way too hard, what are you going to do about it? Because when you get to the end of your life, you certainly won't be looking back and thinking, I wish I had five more minutes to clear out my inbox or to finish a project or, you know, to work on my next goal. You'll be wishing you had five more minutes, for example, to spend with a loved one. So are you working too hard? And if so, what are you going to do about that? Number three lesson that people learn far too late in life is not expressing their feelings. So this can relate in part to the first one about not pursuing your dreams and perhaps not sharing those dreams with others. But more generally, this is just about not expressing how you feel about certain things and allowing yourself to stay in perhaps relationships, business arrangements, you know, situations that you don't actually want to be in, that you want to be as far away from as possible, perhaps, or maybe you just don't feel comfortable with it. But you never express those feelings and those feelings fester away. It destroys your motivation, your happiness, and it leads to ultimately a sense of regret or even, worst case scenario, it leads to some kind of loss. You know, perhaps you, you lose a business or you lose a relationship, or, you know, you lose a very important element of yourself. So don't make that mistake of not expressing how you feel about something. Your feelings are real and, and they always deserve the right, they always have a stage to be expressed, and you should always feel that you can express those feelings. So if you have anything that is within you that you are not sharing with others, and it doesn't represent you at your truest self, then make sure you're expressing those feelings because they are the truth and they do deserve the light of day. Number four lesson that people learn far too late in life is simply not staying in touch with friends. So over the course of, and I've certainly had this experience in my own life, we get so busy and we're trying to work on and achieve and do so many things, and we get excited about all that stuff that we end up convincing ourselves that we simply don't have the time anymore. You know, at some point in the future, I'll have some more time. I just need to get through this season in life. I just, you know, need to get to this next step. But that next step, that next part of the journey often doesn't really happen. And it was just replaced on, replaced by another step or another leg in the journey. And what ends up happening is that our relationships fade, our friendships dissolve, and suddenly we're looking around and asking ourselves, well, where are my friends? Where are the people that I enjoyed spending time with? Where are all those people that I enjoyed having laughs with? So if you have any sense of that at all, if you feel that in any way whatsoever, then you need to ask yourself, well, am I spending time with the people that matter most to me? Could I be spending more time with my friends? And how could you be doing that? It doesn't mean that you need to suddenly organize lots of big dinner parties or huge events or anything like that. You could simp be setting yourself a goal to stay in touch more with your friends. And I don't mean by sending.

Messages on WhatsApp or Facebook. I mean true, genuine connection that doesn't always need to be in person, but at least through a phone call. And you could set yourself a simple goal of maintaining or at least connecting with one friend a week. And if you did that in the space of a quarter, there's 13 weeks and a quarter. That would be 13 friendships that you could be maintaining. That could be 13 to different people. It could be contacting a person every other week and maintaining a relationship with just a couple of people. But make sure that you're staying close to your friends and make sure that you're creating whatever mechanisms or goals or reminders that you need to be reaching out and making those connections, keeping them vibrant, keeping them alive. Another nice thing that you could do in the friendship department is to think of your friends that create the most growth you know, within you. Think of the friends that when you are together, you know, one plus one equals three. You become greater, you know, the than you know the sum of the sum is greater than the parts. And ask yourself, am I doing my best to really stay close to and develop those relationships? You know, the late Jim Rohn, he said, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. So are you spending time with the right people? And what are you doing once again to make sure that you're maintaining those friendships? Don't let this be a lesson that you learn too late in life, where you suddenly get to a point in life where you're asking yourself, where are my friends? Where are the happy times? Where are all those laughs, you know, where are these the great occasions that I miss? And the number five lesson that people learn far too late in life is that they can actually choose to be happy. You can't control all the events that are happening to you, but you can absolutely choose your reaction to those events. And you can do that at a micro level and you can do that at a macro level. So, for example, at a micro level, there'll be tons of things that happen in the course of the day that can frustrate you and throw you off, but you can always choose to be happy. And how can you do that? Well, just master the art of the pause. Master the art of when something happens that Triggers unhappiness in you. Pause before you respond to it. Just pause. That could be a deep breath walking away, whatever it is. But take a moment to pause so you can defuse your unhappy reaction to whatever it is that might be triggering you. Create a moment to pause between whatever that stimulus is and your response so that you can choose a happy response. Choose a response that would be congruent with the best in you, not anything less than that. And if you do that, you'll be a lot happier. The other thing you could be doing on a macro level is, of course there will be major things that happen to you that can impact your happiness. But once again, it may not seem obvious, but you still have a choice. You still have a choice. If something major happens to you, you can't change that. Perhaps, you know, you don't. You don't have a time machine. You can't go back in time, or you can't change perhaps a circumstance. But what you can change is your choice around whether or not you want to be happy. You know, even if the worst thing in the world you know happens, you still have a choice. You can either choose to be unhappy. Where is that going to get you? No matter what's happened, is that going to make whatever it is worse? Or will it actually make it better? Of course it's not going to make it better. Or you can choose to be happy. So choose unhappy. Choose unhappy. Choose happiness over unhappiness. And don't let that be a lesson that you learn far too late in life. So I hope you've enjoyed that. Five lessons that people learn far too late in life. Remember those quickly. Again, one is, be sure to pursue your dreams. Don't find yourself in a situation where later in life you're asking, why didn't I go for that? Why didn't I at least try? It's better to hide, to try and fail, than to never have tried at all. Always remember that when it comes to pursuing your dreams. Number two, don't work too hard. You won't be thinking in your final hours that you wish you had a little bit more time to work. You'll be thinking, I wish I had a little bit more time to have spent with my friends, my loved ones, relaxing, having a good time, enjoying myself. Number three, make sure that you're expressing your feelings. Don't keep them in. If you don't feel good about a particular situation or a person or something is draining you of energy, make sure you express that. Or at least at the very least, express your feelings by, you know, acting in accordance with them. So move away from a situation or a person or an activity or something that is draining of you, of your energy. That's also an example, a way of expressing your feelings. Number four, as I said, make sure that you're staying in touch with friends. You could be doing that on a weekly basis by just making sure that you maintain contact with at least one person. And number five, as I said before, make sure that you're choosing happiness. No matter what is going on, you can always choose to be either unhappy or happy. And you obviously know which is the better choice. So I hope you've enjoyed that. And if you head over to my website@ericpartaker.com you can. You can also subscribe to my weekly Peak Performance Insights newsletter.