PPI #141: STOP Wasting Your Life

Your best self is you at your best and also projected to the world. But so many people fail to achieve being their best. Why is that? But you might feel that you spend a lot of time and energy chasing your best self, but never quite getting there. Today I'm going to be sharing with you the things that might be preventing you from achieving your dreams, so that you can overcome your obstacles, withstand the storms, and achieve the very best version of yourself.

Hi, my name is Eric Partaker and I've been recognized as the CEO of the year. And I'm also the author of two best selling books including the Three Alarms. Now, maybe you've had experience with a lack of focus or a fear of failure, or just the inability to stay disciplined and you know that that's holding you back. I certainly have experienced all of those things. But today we're going to cover not just those barriers, those obstacles, those things that are holding you back, but also how you can overcome them and, and achieve the very best version of you. You may think that your circumstances are too tough, that you don't have the time, that your situation is too harsh, that you don't have the money. But here's the thing. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. But the greatest people in the world have always overcome adversity, faced it, overcome it, survive their challenges and obstacles, become the best version of themselves. And so today, let that be you. So what's the first thing that prevents people from becoming the best version of themselves? It's a constricted mind. It's a mind that keeps you within your comfort zone. And I want you to think about exercise. For example, if you go to the gym or if you're engaging in some kind of exercise or training, what are you doing? You're stepping outside of your comfort zone. You're stressing your muscles, which causes them to grow. It's only by stepping outside of our comfort zone. It's only by becoming uncomfortable, it's only by seeking that discomfort that we actually grow, that we actually achieve our best, that we actually become stronger. And so it's the same thing with achieving the best version of yourself. If you're not achieving your very best in life, if you don't feel like you're being the best version of yourself, you then need to ask yourself, well, am I living within my comfort zone? Am I staying within the things that I know how to do? Am I not venturing out? Am I not trying new things? Am I not trying to challenge myself in A way that I haven't been challenged before. Am I not actually stepping into and towards stress, knowing that those things that stress me will also build my strength, just as stress builds a muscle when we're exercising or when we're in the gym. So if we're having a constricted mind, the constricted mind will tell us that, no, stay safe, stay here, don't go in that direction. But again, that's the equivalent. Once again, if you're in that gym and if you're exercising, if somebody presents to you a weight and they say, do this exercise, and you say, no, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that. That's going to ca. That's going to make me feel, you know, like I'm overwhelmed or I'm burdened. But it's that stress that causes you to grow. It causes that strength. So you need to open up your mind. You need to reframe stress. You need to open up to the possibility that your growth lies just outside your comfort zone, that your growth lies within stepping towards the things that create stress and maybe a little bit of discomfort for yourself. It's in that territory, territory that your best self lives. Your best self is waiting for you, but your best self lies just outside of what you're currently comfortable with. The number two thing that holds us back and prevents us from becoming the best version of ourselves is a lack of clarity and focus on what's deeply important to us. When was the last time you sat back and you asked yourself, okay, if I were to move the needle, if I were going to make my life in the next few months ahead better than what it is today? What are the things that need to happen? What are the things that I need to learn? Who are the people I need to meet? What are the things I need to do? And then how am I programming that within my calendar? How am I actually scheduling the time within my days and within my week so that I can actually get those things done? It's not just a matter of deciding what are the goals that you're looking forward to achieving, but also making sure that we're scheduling that time in our calendar for the achievement that we're to happen. What gets scheduled, gets done. The number three thing that holds us back from achieving our best, from becoming our best self, is not processing failure correctly, not seeing failure as our path to learning, not seeing failure as providing all the valuable lessons that we need such that the next time we try whatever that thing is, we can try it better. We can do it with more efficacy, we can do it with more certainty, we can do it with more precision, we can do it with more confidence. And now all of that, all of that, the precision, the confidence, the efficacy, all of that only happens as a result of experiencing failure, right? As a result of things not going the way that we had originally intended. We develop the insights, the techniques, the strategies, the thoughts that will help us do it right and better the next time around. So don't look as failure as something to avoid. Look at failure as the valuable lessons that provide to you the tips, tricks, tools, the pathway for you to achieve success. It's through failure that we become our best selves. As long as we view failure in the right way and we look to extract the lessons within those moments and situations such that we can show up better and more congruent with the best in us the next time around. The number four thing that holds us back from achieving our best, from showing up as our best self, is simply a lack of support systems around us. Having the lack of a social network, we cannot, as human beings live in isolation. We are social beings, we benefit from having that sense of belonging and care and camaraderie with others. And those others don't just provide that support, they also provide that healthy challenge. And so if you want to break free from where you currently are and reach your best and become the best version of yourself, you need to really take a hard look at do I have a support system in place in the form of other people? And very importantly, are they the right people? Are they people who propel you to a higher level? Are they people who give you energy rather than drain you of energy? Are they people who challenge and support you? Are they people who, when you spend time with them, they inspire you to do something better, to be something better? And if they aren't, you need to take a very serious look at who you're spending time with and make some decisions about taking time away from those that drain you of energy and putting more time towards and with people who give you energy. Because it's those energy providers that are going to help you close that gap between your current and best self and become all that you're capable of being. The number five thing that can get in the way of us becoming our best, of reaching our full potential, is self doubt, and specifically self doubt linked to what other people think and say about us. Now, the moment you start aspiring to be something more, the moment that you start aspiring to do something that perhaps your network isn't doing in that very same moment, you might start to hear the naysayers, the doubters, the people who are trying to hold you down. Why? Because secretly they're afraid that if you become something greater the than what they currently are, they'll feel bad about themselves, not really about you. So be careful with who you pay attention to in terms of the words and the things that they say. Because you have to ask yourself, are they a naysayer? Are they trying to hold me back from my own greatness, from the things that I can be achieving? And once again connected to that previous thing that I just said about making sure that you're in the right social network. And ask yourself, am I with doubters or am I with supporters? And last but not least, the number six thing that can hold us back from, and prevent us from achieving our fullest potential from realizing the best version of ourselves, is simply a lack of discipline or self control. One of the quickest ways for you to become a better version of yourself, a better version of who you are than who you are today, is to subtract rather than add. What do I mean by that? You probably know that there's one thing in your life right now which isn't helping or contributing to your health, your longevity, your peace of mind that is promoting your frustration, anxiety, maybe disappointment. Perhaps it feels good in the moment, but then you regret it later. And if you subtract that thing often, it's the quickest way to becoming a better version of ourselves. Rather than add something, what's the one thing that you know you shouldn't be doing? What? Which if removed from your life, would actually lead to a better, more fulfilling life. And then developing some discipline around maintaining that new version of you, maintaining that new version of you that doesn't do that thing anymore. And then conversely, of course, it could also be what's the one thing that you know you should be doing that you aren't doing often enough, or that you could be doing better, or perhaps more consistently, and then starting to measure and make sure that on a daily basis you're investing the time and energy or whatever it takes to develop the discipline and consistency behind that habit, whether it's not doing something or doing something which will be congruent with you at your best, you as the best version of you, which is ultimately your path to deepest fulfillment. And I'd love to hear from you, so don't forget to leave a comment and a rating as well. And and if you'd like to get a copy of my new book, the Three Alarms. Please head over to my website at ericpartaker.com that's eric ericpartaker.com where you can pick up a free digital copy of my new best selling book, the Three Alarms.