PPI #16: Get over your Resistance to Selling

Have you ever felt a lot of resistance to selling? You want to be bringing in more sales, but you just, just don't feel confident in your approach or when it comes to that moment of making a proposal or actually completing the sale, you back off. You're worried about how you might come across. Well, the truth is unless you overcome your resistance to selling, your potential is going to be severely limited. Hi, I'm Eric Partaker and I really struggled with selling. I really struggled with the confidence of getting out there and selling what I was offering to other people. And it took me a long time to come over it. You know, I had to do a lot of research on, well, what do the best do when it comes to selling, what's their approach? And today I want to share with you four things and I'll weave a bit of story in those things about how I overcame my resistance to selling. And the first thing is it all starts with mindset. So Byron Katie, if you don't know Byron Katie, you should check her out. Absolutely fantastic. She's written some great things, really great thinker. And I came across this phrase and she said.

You can have just about anything we want in life provided that we're willing to go through 1000 no's. Now I'm a coach. I coach entrepreneurs, CEOs, people just trying to reach their full potential in life, all from a peak performance point of view. And I took that phrase from Byron Katie and I made it my goal. I actually said, okay, if yes lives in the land of no, then why don't I make it my goal to get 1000 no's? Now I don't really want 1000 no's, but.

I know a certain percentage of yeses will flow out of those notes. And so I made it my goal to just make as many proposals to new potential coaching clients as possible. Specifically 1000 over a 4 year period. Because that meant that if I was doing five a week, making five proposals a week, so roughly make the math simple, 250 a year over four years, I would have potentially racked up 1000 no's. And by becoming super comfortable with the fact that the no is actually the goal, but secretly obviously knowing that out of those no's would flow yeses, I was less worried about the rejection and I was just focused on that lead measure. Just continue making proposals. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Let the process itself become the goal. And that mindset shift was massive for me. The other thing that you have to do is to remember what it is that you're selling so you can think about it super tangibly, but you can also think about the intangible side of it. So again, let me take this back to coaching as an example. So I'm selling, I can think about it very, very tangibly. It's a certain number of sessions will have a coaching relationship over a set period of time. Or I can think about it more intangibly, such as I'm actually going to help someone close that gap between who they are and who they're capable of being in their business and life, such that they can reach their full potential, such that they can achieve their dreams, such that they can avoid their nightmares or the things that are holding them back. And when I make that switch in my head, when I remember what it is that I'm truly selling and the opportunity and the intangible benefits that that creates in the person that I'm selling to, suddenly it changes the way I go about that because it's really putting me in tune with the tremendous benefit and impact that I can create in the life of the person on the other end of the phone or on the other end of a zoom call or at the other side of a table. So really think about that. Take a moment, think about what is it that you're trying to sell? There'll be very specific tangible benefits that everyone tends to focus on. But what are the intangible things? How might this on the periphery help your client or prospective client win more games, or win more market share, or perform better, or feel happier, more engaged? Think about that. Because there's always intangibles typically associated with the tangible things that we're trying to sell.

The second thing that I like to think about when it comes to overcoming resistance to selling is the power of a structure or a framework. Have a structure or a framework to your conversations. Don't just jump straight into them and proceed in a structured list fashion. And I'll give you an example again with coaching. So one of the things that I tend to do when I start off on a call is just ask the person to tell me a little bit about themselves, that I'd like to do the same. And then a key question that I ask them is, what prompted your interest in this meeting today, in a call today? Because I want to know, you know, the meeting wasn't accepted, for example, for no reason. There must be a deep seated reason for us connecting, for us talking, having that discussion in that moment. And I just want to make sure that they're voicing that, that that is there out in the open, front and center, and really get them to connect to that as well. The other thing that I like to do is explore, you know, what are their, what are their dreams around whatever that product is or that project that we're talking about and, you know, what do they hope to achieve? Again, this is getting back to the intangibles part, but I'm trying to understand what, what would, if we successfully implement what we're trying to do with this project or initiative, what would that success look like? What are the benefits of it? What that, what might that look like in 3 years time? How might that positively impact others as well? And then the third thing that I do is I like to, I call it hunting for the gaps. So.

In any sales discussion, the whole point of having that discussion is that obviously the other side thinks that there's gaps somewhere in their performance in their company, in their thought process, gaps that they want to close. And it's your job in that discussion to really hunt for those gaps. So one of the things I do, again I'll give you an example in a coaching call is I'll ask people to rate themselves on a 1 to 10 scale as a CEO. So a 10 is you're absolutely perfect. I have no room for improvement. And a one is you can only go up. What's your rating? How would you rate yourself? And they might say seven. And then I might say, well, what's one thing that you could do better more often or more consistently which would improve your score? And they might say to me, well, to become a bit more consistent, my output or my productivity for the day. And then I ask them, would you like some support in closing that gap? So every time that I'm hunting for a gap and identifying it in a sales conversation, I'm then asking them, would you like some support in closing that gap? And I'm taking note of all of those kind of support points throughout the whole conversation. And at the very end of the conversation, I then make a proposal and I say something along the lines of, well, based on everything that I've heard today in this conversation, shall I tell you how I think I might be able to help? Or for you, you might say, shall I tell you how I think this product or our solution may help? And I make sure that when I'm talking about that proposal that I'm tailoring back the program or your product or solution bespoke to them in a way that's mapped back to the gaps that we've identified. And that they would like some support in closing, taking them through how we would close each and every one of those gaps.

Last but not least, this is very, very important. I let them think about it. I don't demand that they make a decision there and then in the meeting. Often if we're selling things that cost a fair bit of money, we need to allow the person time to think about it. And it's powerful to do that because you also demonstrate to the person that if it's a no, that's okay too. So typically what I'll say is, well, look, I've really enjoyed the conversation. I think there's a lot of, you know, great things that we could do together. But now I'd really love if you just take some time to sleep on it. Why don't we reconnect? And here's a little quick trick that I do. There's a meeting appointment always in my calendar for that call or that meeting that we were just doing. And I literally go into my calendar and say, well, how about we just update our existing appointment to a day or two from now when that person is free, so we can just check in and hear how you're feeling about whether or not you'd like to proceed. And that way we have a set time where we're actually going to speak again. It's all booked in. We don't have to worry about a follow up. The worst thing, and I highly advise that you don't let a sales conversation end this way. The worst thing is to allow the person just to end the conversation with, well, thanks, you've given me a lot to think about. So let me do that and I'll come back to you. I'll come back to you is.

That'S the equivalent of I have no idea when I'm going to come back to you. I might come back to you. I'm not 100% sure if I do, great if I don't. So what? So you don't want that to be the end of your sales conversation, which is why it's very, very important to just take that existing meeting appointment and rebook it right there at the end of that discussion, that conversation. So do all of these things from, you know, a mindset point of view to having a structure for your conversation, you know, hunting for the gaps and making your proposal where you're identifying, you know, the gaps that you're going to close. Once again, you're recapping those and describing how your solution will solve all of those and then give them time to think about it, but make sure you're booking in that follow up. Do all of those things and I think it will help you overcome your resistance to selling as you start to rack up better and better results. And I hope you've enjoyed this. And if you'd like more tips like this to help you close that gap between who you are and who you're capable of being in both your business and life, head over to my website@ericpartaker.com where you can subscribe to my weekly newsletter.