#27: Creating Connected Cultures

You're listening to the Proteus Leader Show with Erika Andersen, where you'll get practical tools and insights for leading, managing, and staying ready for the future. Erika is the founding partner of Proteus, a firm that focuses uniquely on leader readiness. A nationally known executive coach and bestselling author, you may already know her as one of the most popular leadership bloggers on Forbes.com. Ready for something you can use today? Here's Erika.

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the Proteus Leader Show. My guest today is Michael Lee Stollard, a thought leader, speaker, and expert on how boosting human connection improves the health and performance of individuals and organizations. He's the author, among other books, and co-author of a number, but his latest book is Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work. And he and his partners at E Pluribus Partners work to help leaders create cultures that connect. So welcome to the show, Michael.

Thanks, Erika. Great to be with you.

Yes, I'm really glad you could be with us. So you and I, we were just talking about this. You and I met a number of years ago as authors at an author conference. And I've always appreciated your human-centered approach to successful business. And so I thought that would be valuable for our listeners to hear more about. So as you know, I've got some questions for you. So the first one is, Michael, you've said connection cultures are characterized by identity, empathy, and understanding. So that fascinates me. So what do you mean by those things and how does having them build businesses?

It really starts with understanding that if you think of a continuum with one end where people feel a sense of connection with one another, a real human connection, and the opposite of that being isolation or loneliness. Then a culture that has human connection has— I think of it as a superpower. And I wish I would have come up with that. It was Matthew Lieberman, the neuroscientist at UCLA, who says connection makes people smarter, happier, and more productive.

Right.

It also boosts employee engagement, strategic alignment, so that we like to say that Connection is the power that transforms a dog-eat-dog culture into a sled dog team that pulls together. So, a little corny, but you get the idea.

Yes.

And then, it also improves decision-making because people care enough to take risks to communicate even information that the recipient may not want to hear but needs to hear to make the best decisions. And then, they engage in creative conversations that fuels innovation. So, connection is The goal, you know, create a culture where you have that strong camaraderie and connection. And that comes about through what you just mentioned, shared identity, empathy, and understanding. Or another way that's a little more memorable way to say it is that when leaders communicate an inspiring vision, which is about their identity, when they value people, when they give them a voice, Then it creates this sense of connection. And that really gets down to that identity, how we think of one, you know, how we think of ourselves. Do we have some bridges of identity?

Yeah.

Do we feel each other's emotions? And when we do, that connects us. When we feel someone's positive emotion, it enhances their positive emotion. When we feel their pain, it diminishes their pain and it connects us. And then finally, do we have a shared understanding about where we're going, how we're going to get there? What's my role? Things like that. And those 3 things create that sense of connection.

Oh, that's lovely. And it makes complete sense to me. I love the focus on a shared vision as a sense of identity. Like, who are we together? I was talking to a client the other day and he was talking about a company that he used to work for where they created a really strong internal sense of sort of who we are in the world and that everybody was able to rally around that. And I love that. That makes complete sense to me in terms of identity. And as I'm listening to you talk about these things, identity and empathy, you know, caring for each other and about each other and having shared understanding and how that makes people smarter and happier, the image that immediately came to mind is, you know, you put your guard down when you feel connected. You don't have to be self-protective anymore. Is that accurate, do you think?

Yeah, I think you feel, you know, number one, it really, these days, if you look at the research, people are under a lot of stress. Gallup has some great research that shows 80% of the people feel like they're afflicted by stress. And just the world is, it's a bit overwhelming, all the information we have and our KPIs in our organizations and just life outside of work. And that combination of when people have high stress, but they don't have connection, they're very vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and ultimately addiction. So it really—

Hmm.

When people have that connection, it enables them to stretch to cope with stress. And it actually— I think of it as transforming stress from being toxic to being a positive. But if you don't have that connection, you're very vulnerable to diminished wellness and well-being and performance.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It's lack of connection is toxic and connection itself is nourishing.

Absolutely.

That's great. Well, so what's hard about this? What do you think is hardest about creating connection cultures?

Well, I'm borrowing from Matthew Lieberman again. I think he came up with some great things. He, you know, in addition to the superpower of connection, he said our kryptonite is that we don't recognize how important connection is. And I think that is so true. I just find a lot of leaders really don't don't— it's rare the leader who understands how powerful connection is. I think the Alan Mulallys, the Vern Clark who turned around the US Navy, they understand how important connection is. And of course, it helps achieve sustainable superior performance. But most leaders don't. They focus on task excellence and results, but they don't develop— another way to say connection is relationship excellence. And they're just not as intentional about that. And they think they see it, but unless Unless you measure it, you really don't know because everyone, of course, smiles in front of the boss and has a lot of energy. But it's when they're away from the people at the top that connection really makes a difference.

Yeah, I really think you're right. And often leaders dismiss it by saying things like, well, you don't have to like each other to work together. And that's kind of code for, I don't care if you're connected with each other and I don't really see how that matters. I agree with you. It completely matters.

And it's so interesting, Erika, that even Gallup will say the most important question on the 12 questions they use in their employee engagement assessment is, do you have a best friend at work? Now, that's hard for a leader to be responsible for creating best friends at work. But if you do have supportive relationships, it really does make a difference. And one way I like to think of it is when you first join a team, You— they haven't— they don't really know you. They haven't had a chance. You haven't had a chance to prove what you can do. So you at least expect them to respect you. And then as you're there longer, you hope to get some encouragement and some appreciation for your strengths. And as you're there even longer, you start to develop that sense of belonging that people have your back, and that reduces stress and just makes you perform even better.

Yeah. And leaders can foster that environment. So let's— that which kind of segues right into my next question, which is I always promise practical insights. So what are some actual practical things that leaders can do, that our listeners can do starting sort of now to build this kind of a culture in their team and in their broader organization?

3 things come to mind real quick. One, I call them micro connections, which is just make sure you get to know people's names, you get to know their stories, you take the time to learn something about them, their interests outside of work. And that can really be a bridge of connection to everyone. So, that's a quick thing you can do. Secondly, I'm a big fan of what I call knowledge flow sessions. You see organizations like Pixar and Disney Animation do this, which is for leaders to really be open and put their cards on the table and say, here's what I'm thinking about a particular issue or our strategy or our KPIs for the year. But then, share what you're thinking and then ask people what's right, what's wrong, what's missing from my thinking, that they really want to stress test their thinking. They have the humility to know that they don't have all the right answers.

That's great.

And when they do that and people over time, you know, at first they may hold back because who wants to tell the boss that he or she is wrong? So people learn not to do that. But after a while, after somebody has the courage and there's always those truth tellers who will speak up, and when they're encouraged that they had the courage to speak up, then over time people get to see that it's safe. And it always helps decision makers make sharper decisions. They always learn something. And when they listen to what people have to say, it's not a time to be critical.

Yeah.

It's a time just to listen, take it in, and then implement the good ideas and give people credit. Then they'll start to be proactive about coming to you when they become aware of information that you need to know, and you don't have to go to them as much, although it's still a good idea to regularly go to them. I call it a knowledge flow session, and it really, You kind of get all— you get people feel valued, you're giving them a voice, and it also helps keep them connected to the vision of what you're trying to achieve.

Yeah, I love that, Michael, and I'm really glad that you said it because I think it's especially important how that's received. Fairly often leaders get the advice to do that collaborative brainstorming, sharing thoughts and asking for responses to their ideas, but boy, you can really smash that by, by then not taking it well, not accepting it or immediately disagreeing or making people feel bad for having said anything. So I love that you said, you know, you just really need to listen and embrace them having said it, whether or not you initially agree. So that's, that's wonderful.

And I think another thing, Erika, they can do is, you know, I think of Jim Goodnight, who founded SAS Institute, and I love that he has these Java for Java with Jim sessions, or Howard Behar, who I really credit for having a huge impact on Starbucks culture and its success.

Yeah.

And Howard called them open forums where he would basically just go around to Starbucks shops and answer questions. And he's very, a very safe, approachable person. It was actually an employee or a district manager who contacted him with the idea for a Frappuccino that now represents about 20% of Starbucks revenues. So, great things percolate up from the bottom, from the people who are on the front lines. When they're encouraged.

Yes.

And Costco, a company that I'm working with now, they are amazing in terms of just capturing good and encouraging employees to come up with ideas that improve their delivery of their products to their members, how to treat employees even better, which they're well known for. And they capture those in film. And I just last year spoke at their annual managers conference in Seattle, and they showed all these little videos, Erika, of people from around the world. And what I loved about it was they were just of all nationalities and colors and genders, and it was such a mix of ages. It was such a mix of people who came up with great ideas, and I think that just really encourages everyone to do the same, and they would be rewarded, you know, they would be recognized for that.

That's great.

So it's, it's just exciting to see the energy that that unleashes when you you ask, when you really can ask and seek and consider employees' ideas.

And I can really see how, going all the way back to the beginning of our conversation, that companies where that genuinely and sincerely invite and make use of employees' ideas, that that would really ramp up identity, empathy, and understanding. So I see how that all connects together. That's wonderful.

You know, I think of one of your clients, Danny Meyer, and what he has done in the restaurant industry with— he's created such a great connection culture. And you've added so much to the work they do in just clarifying their culture. But it's been wildly successful. And I think these days, and for organizations like Costco or Danny Meyer's restaurants, to have people on the front lines who really do feel connected to the organization, to its leaders, and they bring that sense of connection to the customers, or if it's in healthcare, to patients. And it makes a— it has a huge difference on customer impact, on customer satisfaction, or even patient outcomes.

Completely. Completely. I mean, when the person, when the person, the frontline person who is interacting with you as a customer, as a patient, as a client really feels like they are the organization, the organization is them, they feel proud. They feel connected. Of course, that has a dramatic impact on how that interaction goes. I could not agree with you more about that. Oh, Michael, I feel like we could, you know, keep talking for hours and hours. This all makes so much sense. It's so sensible. It's just a matter of doing it. So listeners, I'd really recommend that you read Connection Culture to go deeper into these ideas. And if you'd like to find out more about how we, how Proteus also supports clients creating strong, positive cultures, You can just go to ProteusLeader.com and choose the company culture topic. So thank you so much, Michael.

It's my pleasure. Thanks, Erika. Appreciate you having me.

Of course. And thank you everyone for listening. And until next time, here's to creating the life you truly want.

We hope you're feeling better equipped to create the career, the business, and the life you want. For more insights and tools for leadership and management, Join us at theprudentiousleader.com. Have an excellent day, and thanks for listening.