#81: Becoming Culturally Savvy

You're listening to the Proteus Leader Show with Erika Andersen, where you'll get practical tools and insights for leading and managing and staying ready for the future. Erika is the founding partner of Proteus, a firm that focuses uniquely on leader readiness. A nationally known executive coach and bestselling author, you may already know her as one of the most popular leadership bloggers on Forbes.com. Ready for something you can use today? Here's Erika.

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Proteus Leader Show. Colette Phillips, my guest today, is president and CEO of Colette Phillips Communications and founder and president of Get Connected and the GK Fund. She is a strategic advisor for C-level executives and corporate teams and develops public relations branding and internal and external communication strategies. She is frequently consulted by corporations and nonprofits on how to establish healthy, inclusive working environments and engage and serve culturally diverse consumers. An active civic leader and board member, she's listed on Boston Business Journal's Power 50 list. Her new book is The Includers: The 7 Traits of Culturally Savvy Anti-racist leaders. Welcome to the show, Colette.

Oh, it's— I'm delighted to be here, and thank you for having me.

Oh, I'm, I'm so excited about this topic. You know, you've said that to become more inclusive and anti-racist, that leaders need to improve their cultural intelligence. And I just—

Yes.

I love this actionable approach, right? So let's talk about that. Can you explain to us the critical steps that leaders can take to build their cultural intelligence?

Well, I think one of the first things that you have to do is to recognize that all of us have implicit biases.

Yes.

You know, we have— whether it's gender bias, cultural bias, you know, we have our biases. And, you know, just— I would say if you're willing to be self-reflective and introspective and taking a hard look at yourself and asking yourself, how could— how may I be contributing to creating an environment that it doesn't seem to be friendly to everyone or open and receptive? You know, what is my— what is my friendship circle look like?

Yeah.

Do I have friends from different cultural backgrounds, different, you know, uh, sexual orientation, you know, religion, different religions, that kind of thing? And how close are they really? And if there are people of different backgrounds, racial backgrounds or religious backgrounds living in my neighborhood, Have I made a conscious effort to reach out to them and welcome them?

Yes.

You know, so, and paying attention to whether children, their children are treated differently from the other children. Are they invited into the neighborhood kids' circle so that they feel welcome too? So there are questions we can ask ourselves, you know, as individuals who want to be more inclusive.

Yeah.

You know, I think our country is becoming much more culturally diverse, which I think is what the founding fathers intended when they wrote e pluribus unum, out of many, we are one people. It was the recognition that we will have people from different countries and who speak different languages, who worship differently. I think that is one of the things that makes America so unique and a model for the world around inclusivity and how people can coexist who have different— who look differently, who speak differently. I'm from the Caribbean, so I am an adopted daughter of America, and I love America. And is America perfect? No democracy is perfect, you know. So it has its challenges, and part of being an American is that we should all try to contribute to finding ways to help us achieve the— and address the challenges in our country and in a good way.

One of the things I love about what you're saying is the combination of a kind of mental and psychological and practical, that like to investigate how you're thinking, but then also perhaps even more importantly, how you're actually behaving. What exactly is your friend circle like? How are you treating the children of people who are different from you? I love that. I think that's because you can fool yourself about how you're thinking, but it's hard— harder to fool yourself about behaving. That's great.

Yeah. And, you know, I was going to say, I think one of the things that we could do is leverage our understanding to lead by example. you know, that we want to make sure that we are modeling for our children and our grandchildren. So that— because I think, you know, there is a wonderful song from the play South Pacific.

Yes.

You have to be carefully taught to hate. You have to be carefully taught. So, you know, if you took a group of children let's say toddlers, preschoolers, and you put them in a sandbox and you had Black, Asian, Latino, white, these children would just gravitate towards each other.

100%.

Because they have no— in their inner sense, they just know these are little people like me. These are people I want to be with, I want to play with. They do not look at you and say, oh, that person is Asian, that person has Black skin, that person has— you know, they just want to play. And I think sometimes as adults, sometimes we need to probably go back to our childhood days and remember the innocence of how we looked at people.

Yes.

You know, before we started forming judgments.

Yes, that's great. Okay, well, let's talk— let's go briefly to the dark side. What are some of the important things for leaders especially to avoid, you know, beliefs or actions that most negatively in your experience impact inclusivity in the workplace?

Well, I think one of the things that we have to be careful of as leaders is not having generalizations or assumptions about people.

Yes.

You know, if you— curiosity is part of building and breaking down barriers. I always tell my friends who are not Black, there are no ignorant questions. There are no questions that you cannot ask. me as a friend. And I will not judge you because you don't know. And if you don't know, you're asking me the question, I'm assuming, because you're curious. You want to know more. You want to learn more. And it's as if you went to a foreign country and you didn't speak English.

Yes.

You know, you want to ask the native person there, about their culture, about their habits, about things you might want to avoid, you know. And I also think for leaders that— and for people who have different backgrounds— that we live in a culture where people get called out and people get shamed.

Yeah.

And sometimes you— sometimes some people deserve to be shamed and called out publicly. You know, I know a couple of people who need to be— to do that. But I would say in a work setting, if somebody says something or makes a remark that— it's what Professor Loretta Ross at Smith University calls the calling-in culture, the calling-in approach, that rather than sort of shaming somebody in the face of all their colleagues, is to maybe think about going to that person privately offline and calling them in.

Yeah.

And said, look, I just want to tell you, you said something this morning in the meeting that was not right or not correct, and let me just give you a sense of how I interpret it.

Yes.

As a Black woman, or as a woman, you know, if it's a male colleague. And so I think sometimes when, when we are willing to call people in, you know, they're much more receptive receptive and less defensive than when you call them out.

Because I really love this, Colette. It reminds me again of the— you, you talked about that song from South Pacific. There's a, there's a Simon and Garfunkel song that has a line, give me some kindness underneath. Yes, yes, underneath your clarity, right? And when you do it privately, and as you're saying, kind of assume positive intent, like to start out— absolutely, you may not be aware that this is how this affected me, or this is how this came Or, you know, 100% more likely to get openness and curiosity and willingness to change. That's a great suggestion.

And I think we have to learn to give each other grace.

Yes.

You know, and kindness. I want us in America to get back to a place where we can be kind to each other, where we can listen, Without judgment and ask. You know, I find that rather than trying to debate somebody and getting angry at them, to really ask some curious questions like, help me understand what causes you to think that way, or how did you arrive at that conclusion? And, you know, let that person talk. And then you can respond.

Yeah.

And that way you are engaging in a dialogue of civility, and you're giving that person a safe space to share their ideas. We all, as I said in the beginning, we all have implicit biases. We all come about our framework of thinking based on how we were brought up, based on, you know, how we were inculcated by our family, by our surroundings. And we grow up into adults and we carry some of that with us. And so we, we have to be willing to, to give each other grace to have differences in opinions and to be able to listen, to lean in, to listen, to learn, and to have exchange, civil exchange with each other.

Oh, I love this. And you're already kind of going down the path of my last question, which is ethical takeaways. You seem like a very practical person. So what are— you've already suggested this wonderful idea of calling in versus calling out. What are some practical things that our listeners can just start doing right now to improve their culture?

Well, I think one of the things you can do if you are not a person of color, if you are not an LGBTQIA person, and it goes for the other side too, open up yourself. And I believe that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Yeah.

So think about what kinds of things are happening in my community. For example, next month happens to be the month that we celebrate Black history. If you are a book person, why don't you go and see what books—

who—

what bookstore, Barnes& Noble, the Harvard Book Store, who is having something in your community or maybe a few miles outside of your community that speaks to Black history.

Right.

And go and listen, learn, and ask questions. You know, during the summertime, there are lots of festivals that go on that celebrate different cultures and, you know, people. You know, if you're Irish, you got St. Patrick's Day. And I always say, I'm in Boston where, you know, during St. Patrick's Day, everybody's Irish, you know, because there's so many Irish people who live here. And so, you know, celebrate with others and get to know other people's cultures. So that's something you can do right away. And if you're curious, shamelessly, I will say, pick up a copy of my book, The Includers.

Yeah.

And, and read about how you can start becoming an includer. And an includer means that you are somebody who is open to meeting other people, getting to know other people, not necessarily making preconceived judgments, you know. So you could really start now, right after this is done. And also, I mean, start within your own circle, 5-mile radius, 3-mile radius, within your neighborhood. You know, you might have had somebody living down the street who might be differently from you culturally. You know, go knock on their door and say, hi, I'm so-and-so.

Just expand your parameters. Exactly.

Expand your circle. And expand your experience.

Yeah.

You know, even in the workplace, you may not have lunch— you may have lunch with the same group of people that you have had lunch with for the last 5 years. Maybe there is somebody who works in your workplace who may not look like you, and you may go up and say, hey, I'd love to get to know you. My name is Could we have lunch? Could we go to the caf— sit together in the cafeteria? And often what happens, people find their common ground. It's amazing what happens and what barriers can fall away when people reach out to each other and recognize that as The great President Roosevelt says, the only thing we have to fear is fear.

That's great. Oh, Colleen, thank you so much. Clearly, we could keep talking and talking. And I will say, this is such helpful, practical guidance for building a better workplace and building a better world. So, yes, listeners, if you'd like to learn more about Colette's work, just go to cpcglobal.com where you can also order her new book, The Includers: The 7 Traits of Culturally Savvy Anti-Racist Leaders. And to find out how Proteus helps leaders drive needed change in a way that includes everyone, go to proteusleader.com, click on topics, and choose Change from the Inside Out. So thank you again, Colette. This was wonderful.

And thank you, Erika. This was wonderful too.

Yes.

Interact with you and get to know you.

Yes, you too. Thank you for listening, everyone. And until next time, here's to creating the life you truly want.

We hope you're feeling better equipped to create the career, the business, and the life you want. For more insights and tools for leadership and management, join us at proudestleader.com. Have an excellent day, and thanks for listening.