Unbrand Yourself: Renee Bellinger on Identity, Integrity, and Inner Work

Today I'm joined by the fantastic Renee Ballinger. She was laid off during COVID and she managed to use that unexpected moment and turn it into something truly powerful. The beginning of her new brand, her new business. Now, Renee is a health coach who supports women over 40 in making small and sustainable lifestyle changes. And in this episode she she shares the deeper layers of what that journey looked like for her from the inside. We talk about identity, alignment and how she ultimately realized that she was actually preparing for this shift all along. We talk about why it's worth starting before you're ready and why if you are feeling that little nudge, you don't have to, you don't need to be waiting for a wake up call. And there's one moment I keep thinking about when Renee said I had to stop trying to become someone and start remembering who I already was. If this resonates with you, come with us for the next hour and if you like it, give us a subscribe. Let's get into it. This is the Leap Live and Laminate podcast. Hi, I'm your host, Esther Godor. Twelve years ago, I took a big leap. I left my corporate job, I moved into a new country and started a business from scratch in my fifth language. Today I run a boutique launch and systems agency helping ambitious entrepreneurs build smart and scalable digital businesses on Kajabi without having to do everything by themselves. This is your go to place with honest stories, actionable strategies and real talk around building a business and life you love. Your best life and success story are still ahead. Let's write them together. Hey Renee, how are you?

Good, how are you?

I'm good. Excited to do this with you.

I am too. I'm so excited to chat.

We, we've been chatting about some amazing stuff even without the camera on. So let's have it on and continue to share with our listeners. Viewers, let me start with the question which I like to always open these conversations with. What do you do and what made you go down that path?

I am a health coach and I help women over 40 create small habits to simplify their health and become more consistent so that they can better manage perimenopause. I got into the field almost by accident in a lot of ways. I have a background in counseling psychology and I worked in schools for like 15, 20 years as a behavior specialist and eventually an assistant program director in a therapeutic school. And I spent a lot of time working with individuals, helping them or teams helping them manage their behavior. While doing that professionally, I also became passionate about my Health, like really worked to create health habits as opposed to jumping around from diet to diet or just ignoring my health and then going all in and an on and off again cycle. And some of my colleagues would come to me and ask me, how do you do this? And one of them in particular said, you know, you should really become a health coach. Because people would always come to me for. With questions, basic health questions like, how do you do this? Why do you do this? And I at the time thought, I don't have time for this. I have a. My daughter was younger then. She was, she's 14 now, so she was, you know, 4 or 5, elementary school. And I just thought to myself, I don't have time. And then Covid happened and I got laid off and. Which was a blessing in disguise. I didn't. My school, because it was a therapeutic school, wanted us to go back in person. Definitely didn't feel ready for that at the time because it was early on in the pandemic. And scrolling through my email, I saw an email from Precision Nutrition about getting certified in nutrition coaching. And it was like a light bulb hit and it was like, yes, I can help people apply behavioral psychology to nutrition. Cause that's typically not done. And help people create habits as opposed to jumping around or doing fad diets. And so that's how I got started.

Wow. When you, when you started with that certification, did you think it would help you get the job or it was like, yeah, I'm gonna build my own stuff. Was it clear from the get go?

Well, I was so burned by what happened to me working at my school that I said to myself, I'm getting the certification to start my own business. Like, I did not want to work for someone else again. Because what that experience taught me, I mean, I was in my late 40s at the time, and I had worked there, like I said, for 15 years. And so in my mind, that was where I was going to retire. Thought to myself, I'll work like five to seven more years and then I'll retire. And education is different than a lot of other professions, at least in the United States. Like, once you've worked somewhere for a while, like, if you go to another school, you're starting at a much lower salary rate than you were, especially during the pandemic because the economy was so struggling. Was struggling. So I was like, I don't want to. For my future to be put in someone else's hands again. Like, I want to be the creator of my own destiny. And I'm Going to try to go into business for myself.

That's amazing. Like, instead of dwelling in like, you know, self pity, you were like, okay, I want to take matters into my hands. Did it ever happen or did it ever occur to you before or before it was always like, this job is secure, this is steady. Like you said, this is what I'm going to retire from. Did you?

Yeah, it never occurred to me. Like, when my friend said that to. To me, I chuckled. I don't have time for this. Like, oh, that's nice that you think I could help people. Honestly, I was thinking, yeah, I was just thinking, I don't have time for this would be another thing to do. Hindsight is 20 20, and because I was already interested in nutrition, like I was listening to podcasts and reading on my own in the field, it wouldn't have been a big stretch to get the certification, like on my own pace because, like, I had nothing to lose. But I didn't think about it that way. I was just like, I just can't. It wasn't even something that I entertained. I was just so burned out from working all day and then coming home and being a mom that I was just like, I can't deal with the thought of doing. Adding something else to my plate.

Yeah. But it's interesting that it kind of was there by people reaching out or asking you. It kind of showed up. It's like there's this saying, the universe first throws some stones at you and then the big rock.

Exactly, exactly. And I feel like that's what happened. It was just.

Yeah.

And I remember to even add another layer to it. Like a couple years before I was laid off, my supervisor at the time was asking me. We were joking and because I loved my job and I loved what I did. And he was like, this is. You were meant to do this. Like there is nothing else that you would do. And I was like, well, actually, if I had to do it all over again, I would have become a dietitian. He was like, really? I was like, yes. And then he paused and said, I could see that just because that was what I was interested in outside of work. So it was always within me. Just wasn't open to seeing the possibilities of how the path could look. And ironically enough, that email from Precision Nutrition was not the first one that they had sent me. Like, I had done something else with them through a coach I was working with. So I was on their email list and they had sent me numerous emails, like over the years, and I just deleted them. Like I didn't look at them.

So you didn't unsubscribe. You knew there was.

I didn't exactly. I didn't unsubscribe. I just deleted. Didn't never open them. And so it was almost serendipitous. It was serendipitous that a couple of days after being laid off, I actually saw the email and you're right. It was like the universe was like, see, this is the path we were trying to get you on.

That's amazing. Love that. When we were preparing for this podcast, when actually when I, when I first talked to you guys about the podcast, I put out the invite. Like, I would like to talk to people who decided on this entrepreneur journey and they are. They up leveled their lives. It's totally next level. And you said at that moment that you felt like it was would have been so much easier if you started the side hustle when you still had your job. What makes you say that? Are you comfortable sharing what made it more difficult starting from scratch after you, you lost the job?

It's just whatever you do, there is a day one and I put a lot of pressure on myself once I got my certification to meet these goals of like being a certain place in my business by a certain time. I finally had to let that go because it was putting so much pressure on me that I wasn't really enjoying the journey or learning from my mistakes in the way that I needed to. I was just seeing it as a failure and just another barrier getting in the way of me reaching my revenue goal. I think if I was starting in the beginning or while I was working, I wouldn't have felt that pressure. It have happened naturally and it would have been really messy. But like a lot of the things that people worry about, like a website and all that stuff, that doesn't really matter. Like I wouldn't have started there. I would have just started with like word of mouth and seeing some people probably charging really low ticket just to get the reps in. But when I think about it and I was like, oh, if I already had all that social proof from before, it would have been easier when I decided to start a business. Like, okay, this is what I'm already doing. And it would have helped me kind of figure out my messaging and my place. Because when I first started, people hear nutrition coaching and they think one thing or health coaching and they're just like, okay, you're going to give me a meal plan or tell me what to eat. You're going to Assign macros to me. And that's not my approach. And it's taken me a while to figure out how to position my messaging to get that across too. So there's been a lot of trial and error, which would have happened regardless. And I think if I didn't have that pressure of, okay, I'm just going to start my business and have this really aggressive revenue goal. If I already went through that while I was working, I would be so much further along than where I am now. But conversely, like, I'm exactly where I need to be. And it was just a lesson learned. And I remember reaching out to you, saying to you, like, my message would be, if you have an idea, if you think about another alternate life that you could be living, there's no harm in starting it now. Like, with the precision nutrition certification, like, it's on your own. I could have read, like, two pages a night for five years. I mean, there were some people in the coaching group that they've had their certification materials for a really long time, and they're just playing, plugging away. And that could have been me. Like, I could have made different choices about how I chose to spend my time after work when my daughter went to bed. And again, that's. Hindsight is 20 20. If you look at the way you manage your time, you will probably realize that there are more pockets that you can make a little bit more progress than you realize.

Yeah, sometimes it's like you said, your. You had a small child at that time, so it can also be like, oh, this is not. This is not the right time. But there is hardly ever a perfect time.

Exactly.

Something like that.

Exactly. And I was fortunate that I had the financial space to do that, because if I wasn't in the situation I was in, I would have had to look for another job and it would just be a dream, unrealized. And so if it's within you, what does our code say? Like, if it's within you, it's meant to be. So if you have an idea, my challenge would be to think about, like, how you can take tiny steps towards that. You know, like, yes, I had a young child, but I also watch tv, like, every evening. Could I have devoted a half an hour, an hour to studying for my certification instead of watching tv? Yes, I could have made it work. So it wasn't that all my time away from work was devoted to raising her, and if I was more creative, I would just be a little further along. But it is what it is.

And did it ever get to the point where you were like, this is not gonna work out. I really need to get a job or I should have started a different business.

I've never thought I should start a different business. But there are times when, when I talk about the pressure of being an entrepreneur. I actually decided at the end of last year, I was like, I just need to find a side hustle. Not even a side hustle, a side gig. Like a really low lift job that doesn't require much, but that will give me just like some semblance of like financial freedom. Not a lot. And my someone I know posted that a local bookstore was looking for someone to work like Saturday afternoons to close the store. Perfect. Exactly what I needed. Like it wasn't going to interfere with what I'm trying to do. It was a couple hours out of the house and I would get like a couple of dollars just to feel like I have some financial independence. So that felt released a lot of pressure for me in terms of just like mentally like, oh, I see a little bit coming in and it feels so good. So yes, to answer your question, there are times when I'm like, did I make the right decision? My husband's in finance and he laughs at me because he's like, yeah, I know this is a good idea, but it's going to take time to build. Like you just expect to like I expected in a year just to be in the same position I was with my career. And he's like, it's. There is some overlap, but it's a new career. Four years in. This is going to be my fourth. Oh my gosh. I think February 1st was like my four year anniversary in my business. I finally feel like I'm starting to get it a little bit more. And I see the light at the. I see the light now. Whereas there were times in the beginning where or in the middle that I didn't.

Yeah. It's funny, my husband is an external CFO and I listen to the same stuff from him and I never believe him. And then few years later when he told me in 2014, like, this is like a 10 year project. And I was just thinking back to that, that, yeah, actually where I wanted to be in a year, that's where I'm kind of now actually. I'm also in a way better place than I ever thought was was possible with this. But it really took 10 years. What to get to get there also mentally like growing up for this whole, whole like holding space for it. I was just a crazy, crazy chick running around when, when I started that in pretty much the first couple of years, because I thought, you know, the typical thing, like, you got to do everything by yourself, got to save money on. On that. And then takes sometimes years to realize, oh, if someone helps me, I can make better money with what I'm best at.

Yes. And I'm still working. I mean, that's the biggest thing I'm working through now because I have a va and there are times when I'm like, why am I working? I catch myself when I start to work on something and I'm like, why am I working on this? I should hand this off to her. And it will alleviate things off my plate. So, yes, like, there are lessons like that. And I think it's hard, especially being an entrepreneur, because you hear stories of people who, especially who go from like, oh, in one year, like, I started this membership or whatever, and now I'm, you know, my business is making like a hundred thousand those. Guess it does happen. But that's not a typical story. But we all latch onto those stories. And then it makes you question, like, what am I doing wrong? And it's like, no, you're not doing anything wrong. It's like, you are. Exactly. You don't. I had to remind myself that I don't know the lessons that people learn to get to that point. And I just. Similar to health, like, I need to stay in my own lane because it's not helping me looking at someone else's business thinking that I'm doing something wrong because I really don't know what's going on in their business.

Yeah, it's like, you, you don't know the whole story. That's probably not their first attempt. Or if it is, then it still doesn't mean that it's what's supposed to happen for everyone. It's everyone's own story. Like, I can say, oh, I started a new business in 2021, and by 2023, it made a hundred thousand. But then I have to add that between 2013 and 2018, it took me five years to do the same with a team of seven. And you know, if you have a team of seven, a hundred thousand dollars a year is like, for the salaries. It all goes away. There are these nuances to, to. To every story.

Right. And we don't really think about that or you don't even know, especially if you're just starting out, you don't know that people have teams. And I remember being so naive, wondering how people were apparently doing all the things on social media, it's like, how are they doing this? Because I'm struggling. I get like one thing done a day and then I realize, oh, they have a whole team behind them or their reels look better because like they have videographers versus just using their camera. So it's like once you really start to step back, you realize that not everything is as it appears to be.

Yeah, always. What helped you figure out which format to put for your. For your coaching? Did you start out with one on one or was it the membership from the start start?

No, I started out with one on one because that's what I had. And that was one of the pieces of my story that helped change the way I looked at nutrition. And so at first I modeled it that way and I realized over time that my message is a little bit different. And it's not really a short term message. It's not like a six month or if I'm working with someone one on one, it's either six months or a year at this point because it does take some time to unpack. All of your people still get wins, but we're unpacking some old beliefs to recreate to create space for newer beliefs. And so one of the things that I struggled with was that people genuinely had an objection of cost. And I understand that. And I was like, a membership is perfect because it's in the middle. It's like I give you the resources, I give you some guidance. It's not the same level of accountability as one to one, but then you can stay in it longer and get what you need.

Yeah.

And so that's how. And that just came to me. Like one night I woke up and I was like, this is what I meant to do and help women this way. My goals for the membership is that it's going to expand more than health and nutrition, that eventually it'll be like a hub for women over 40 just to discuss like all things related to aging. But starting with health and nutrition and creating habits is where we're starting. But it came to me and I'm like, I want to pursue this method just because I really want to make health information accessible for all people.

When you say working with small habits, I would love to go into this both on the women over 40 and also on the entrepreneurship side side, because I think it applies to, yes, every, every bigger improvement in our lives, whatever area it might be. But what do you mean by, by small, small changes, small habits.

So what I do is help people find behaviors that they feel that they can do, make them small enough so they can do them consistently. I'm oversimplifying here. And over time, those become more automatic because you have a win, you're feeling good, and you continue doing it. It's like you're getting positive feedback. But the key is really to start with something small when you think about health. And anytime, like anyone's tried to change anything, it's like people feel like they have to do everything at once. Like, you think of New Year's resolutions as a perfect example. There's nothing wrong with wanting to change during the new year. It's just that people then are like, I'm going to, like, eat better. I mean, they're too vague, first of all, but they're, I'm going to work on my nutrition, my exercise, all of my sleep, like all of this stuff at once. And they do it for a couple weeks and they get burnt out and they say the resolution doesn't work. Whereas it's like, if they really thought about what they wanted to work on, like the easiest thing that they can do consistently, they would realize that there's a different path. And one of the stories I tell is that I started overhauling my nutrition by just focusing on getting more protein in every meal. Over time, that grew to other aspects of nutrition and grew into like, exercise. And so. But it all really started with a focus of, I just want to make sure that I'm eating enough protein every single meal. And so it's the same with business. There's so many different avenues and options and you really have to think of. And I'm getting better at applying this to myself for business because easy for me to do it in health, much harder for me to do it in business, but thinking what are the one to two things that I could do today that would be dial movers and don't make them really big and focus on them, do them. You know, I think that's the other part too. Make them, make them so reasonable that you can actually get it done that day. You feel good about yourself, you'll get feedback about whether or not it works, and then do the same thing the next day. So what I'm trying to do for my business this year is really start my day sitting in silence for a while and asking myself, what do I need to accomplish today? Like, what are the one to two things that will help me move forward? And that's been really helpful.

Just simply sitting down with yourself and starting your day like that. Yeah, yeah, that's a mini Mini session. And sometimes it feels like, oh, it's so difficult to add this stuff to our day. But if we see how much, like, just our phone can tell us the time, how much time we were scrolling. Yes, it's a shame. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, it's definitely a shame. Something must be wrong with you.

Exactly. And it's different than a to do list too. I think a lot of times we think we're being productive, but we're just being busy. So when I'm thinking about, like the one action, it's really something that's going to move myself forward versus, oh, these are all the things I have to do for my business. You know what I mean? And it's like the bigger rock, so to speak. The things that are scary and how do I break them down? But you're right, it's like we spend so much time. Well, I do sometimes focusing on my phone or other things that. Where I could be taking. Doing other things to get more rest so that I'm a better entrepreneur. I was going to say employee, but a better entrepreneur during the day. An employee for myself.

Yeah, you know what? This morning it was really hard for me to drag myself to the gym. And whenever it's hard, there are these little habits. Like, I, I don't drink coffee, I don't drink alcohol. I, I eat healthy. But sometimes there's this surge of. I also do intermittent fasting, but sometimes it's like, I don't care, just give me a pizza at the worst time when I shouldn't be doing that. And what still helps me, there's this other layer is like, if, If I was already the person I want to become, would that person actually eat that pizza? Or would that person freaking put down this phone, get out of bed and drag herself to the gym? So that helped me this morning because that person would do it, but that person is me. So.

Yeah, and that's exactly. That's how I start with a lot of my clients. Like, I have them envision their future self and what they want her, what they want her life to look like. And I think that's a great starting point because when times get sticky, you're like, what would this person do? And I mean, that's another good question too. As a business person, like, if you have a revenue goal, like, if it's scary, like, what would this person who is. Has this revenue goal, what would their major task be for their business at this point in their career? What was that major task? And thinking about it, that way, because it does help you. And then. Yes, like, through those behaviors and you become that person.

Yeah, exactly. It's. It's also with this. With this podcast. No, I'm thinking of the next one for me. The next little change for me is that I have been doing so good with the episodes where I'm recording them with someone, but the ones that I do solo, which should be every second episode, I'm so behind on them. And I'm just realizing it's because I have all the interview sessions scheduled, but the solo episodes is just like, whenever I will have the time. And also, there is no distraction. Like, I share office with my husband, and when he's working here, it's noisy. So I'm like, whenever I will have the time. And I have recorded already, I think, nine or ten episodes with others and only one solo episode, and I should have the exact same number. So I gotta schedule those freaking sessions so easy.

I know. It's sometimes like, we don't know, right? It's just like me starting my business. Like, you don't know. And then if you talk through it, you're like, oh, well, if I schedule it, then I'll show up for myself.

Yeah. Yeah. Even then, there is a big temptation sometimes, you know, to cancel. But if I don't schedule it, it's guaranteed that the time is never going to magically show up. Like, yeah, now.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

All right, let's go a little bit more into what you help people with. I'm 42, and I have been seeing some changes, like my. My skin. Even though I, like I said, I eat healthy, I'm now good with my gym routine because it was in 2022 when I realized after Covid, like, during COVID I did zero exercise. So between 2020 and 2022. And then in 22, I realized I will never get to fulfill my business and entrepreneurial goals if I don't take care of this body. Because the shape it's in, it's seriously slowing down. Like, everything. I can't react. My brain, it takes so much effort to even concentrate for a few hours a day. So, yeah, I'm so glad that. And that was. I was 39. No, I think I was already 40 when I actually started to take this seriously. I was also like, oh, my God, I'm already 40. I'm doomed. This is all. There is no way to get out of this. And I'm now in a much better shape than I was at 40. But I'm still sometimes, like, is this too late. Should I have? Yeah, I should have, but I didn't. But can we still like really get ourselves into the amazing state physically, mentally, emotionally that we are, that we are craving for or is it just a dream? What do you think?

Oh, that's a loaded question, I think. Yes. Well, it's nuanced, right. We can get ourselves into the best shape of the life for the season we're in now. But we also have to let go of chasing who we were when we're we were in our 20s and 30s. And I think that that's like the big rub for like a lot of women is because their comparison is their 30 year old body. And with perimenopause like in hormone shifting, like things do change, you're not going to be that person you were in your 30s, but that doesn't mean that like all is lost and doomed and you have to figure out what works for you and everyone's journey is different. So what I really help clients do is a realize like why it's important to focus on the foundational health habits that people were so used to ignoring. Because in your 20s and 30s, yes you should be focused on sleep, stress, nutrition, but like your body would self correct a lot of those things, especially with like stress and sleep. And once you turn 40, not so much like you're not sleeping as well, your body doesn't manage stress as well due to the fluctuating hormones. So you really have to do that work. And both lack of sleep and increased stress can lead to then behaviors that are totally misaligned with what your goals are and you don't even realize it. I like to say it's like a slow burn because the changes happen so small that you don't even notice that they're happening. So key is really to focus on what you can control and realizing that it's gonna look different than it did when you were in your 30s. So like I love strength training, I do it, I aim to do it four times a week. And I just had an injury oh like two months ago that sidelined me for a couple weeks. And last week was my first week back after taking some time off for personal reasons. And I was like my goal this month is to get to the gym like three times a week because we're traveling and Friday morning I was bending down to do something and I don't know what happened to my hip. And so I'm like oh man, like I'm sidelined for a bit. I'm gonna go see my pt but it's just like having to accept that you have to accept your body where it is and then find other ways to care for her. So this is now my time to really focus on my nutrition a little bit more, since my strength training isn't where I would like it to be, just because I've been sidelined a couple times. So it's just knowing what to move into Toggle to get to where you want to be. And it does take a lot of work. More work than when we were younger.

Yeah, I realized that. And it's. And it goes away so much quicker if we are not careful. Or at least, yeah, my feeling about it.

And then it's also hard, too, because, like, in midlife, you're also dealing with a lot of other factors. Right. You might have career changes, you might have career stress, you have aging parents, you have. You might have older kids or raising kids. Like, there's a lot going on and there are a lot of demands on your time. And it's easy to then put yourself last and be like, well, I'll wait until, you know, my parents are settled or the kids are older. I get that promotion, do whatever I want to do, and just ignore your. Your personal needs. And I. My whole style is like, there's room for both. And that's why small actions are key, because it doesn't need to be like, oh, you need to go to the gym for like an hour maybe. It's like you just start walking 10 minutes a day because that's all that you can do. That's a start. But that's better than not doing anything at all. And I think that that's the big switch for a lot of women because they're so used to being like, I'll do this later.

Yeah. Especially when things are piling up. I. I had that even before COVID And even without having my own kids, I thought I had to build this business and then I could take care of myself. And then when it was moving nowhere because my body wasn't coping, that's when I realized, no, building this business, moving it forward only works, or that is. Is a vital part of me showing up. Like, how would I show up? I normally work in the afternoon, so how would I show up in my full force and power in the. Each afternoon if. If in the morning I didn't take care of. Of myself? And whether it's physical activity or just mentally connecting, I think I literally spent more than five years in a state of just building like crazy. Like, I have to send out all those emails one by one or I have to build that website. And there were intents to like, okay, I will go to the gym now. Like, now every day I would go for four days. And then it's like, no, I can't, I can't do that. But yeah, I'm definitely the type of person who goes with like, all in all or nothing. And it's, it fails more, more times than not. And then I miss. I did misuse my, my body and also mentally. Oh, my God. I'm just.

Yeah, and that's, that's so common. I mean, you're not alone in that. And I mean, one of the things, I mean, obviously that is where I thrive a little bit more. But what I did was similar to you. It's like when I was figuring out when I was going to work out and do all of that stuff, I think it took me. Well, no, because during COVID I started working out in the morning. When I was working at the school, I worked out in the evening or in the afternoon. But then I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to do it first thing in the morning and do it and then start my day and then walk after work or sometimes in the middle of the day, depending on the weather. And that was such a big game changer because you're right. Like, you start your day energized, you feel good. But for me, it's sleep because I can stay up way too late just doing nonsense, not even anything productive. And what I find is that when I do that, I'm not my best self in the day. Like, I'm distracted a lot at work. It's hard for me to focus. And for me, it's like I have to remind myself at night. It's like, you are going to bed on time because, like, it's. Your next day starts tonight. Starts by following my bedtime routine. So that is really where I needed to spend a lot of time figuring out what works. And it's still trial and error.

Yeah, I, I love this. Your next day starts tonight. I, I will, I will use that because I, I still really struggle with going to bed. I'm, I'm like all fired up with my brain at night, ideas coming, like, why don't I plan out my whole year right now at 11:30 and stuff like that. And it's so difficult for me to actually finish my day on time. And this might help because it's so, so important. And I know living in Spain, it's Even more difficult because in my home country, Hungary, people would go to bed around 10, 11 as an adult. But here it's so easy to still be at a restaurant at midnight. So how do you go to bed on time? Now I'm going at midnight and that's already a huge achievement. But I'm aiming for 11 o'. Clock. We went to Portugal for a few days in November and I'm using my whoop to tell me how my body is doing. And, and like magically my sleep results were so much better. And nothing changed on my sleep, only that we went to bed an hour earlier because of the time difference because we were on Spanish time. Or maybe I don't know if I'm getting this right, but anyway, the calculation was that because of one hour time difference, it was better for my body to sleep in that period of the day rather than when I'm sleeping in in Spain. And I'm like, oh my God, it's so easy. My body's already reacting. I just have to go an hour earlier. So from now on I will go an hour earlier, but I'm not going. So can you find new tricks or.

You might try to like do it like in 15 minute increments. So just starting to go to bed like 15 minutes earlier, you know, and once you get a habit of that, then 15 minutes, you know, like as opposed to going a whole hour because your body is not used to that. But yes, like I would say sleep is one of the biggest things that I help my clients with because it's like they're all high achieving women, the ones I see them one on one, like they have a lot of things going on and so it's like they're working all day and they have their kids that they're driving to sporting events or whatever and then it's like the evening is their time and they end up going to bed way too late. And that really does affect everything. And like once you could kind of figure out my coaching style isn't to be like, oh, you need like eight to nine hours of sleep. Like, yes, it's a guideline, but it's like, how can we get you more sleep than you're currently getting is the way I coach and we try different things and experiment. But once people start feeling better, that helps too because they tap into that. Like, I know I feel better when I do this. And then we have our one ups. Like last night I had to take my daughter someplace and we came home at 9:30, which is like usually when I'm already ready to, like, head upstairs and, you know, read a little bit before going to bed. But it was. I was still just so animated from being out, and so I went to bed a little bit later. Am I dragging a little bit today? Yes. Well, I need a little bit more caffeine. Yes. But now I know. And I know, like, I have to remind myself probably in the morning, not, like, when I go out in the evening when I come home. Reading some nonfiction would be a great way to settle my brain down because it's so dry. And just practice that. Be more mindful of that when I come home. But I was like, oh, la la la.

Yeah, it's so, you know, when we think of getting our business to the next level or making these health changes, we think of huge changes. Like, at least I do. Like, we are. We are buying these big programs. And to me, the other thing besides sleep is hydration. Like, sometimes I'm. I'm in a weird place. I'm overreacting things. And. And then my husband would tell me, what's this? What's happening? Is there something going on? What did I do? What have I done? And then when I can't find any explanation, then it's usually the sleep. And when even the slee is okay, it's that I haven't hydrated enough during the last few days. And it's. It's crazy. And it's crazy easy to actually do that. It doesn't even cost money. It's just drinking water, pure water. But still, those are the most difficult things to sometimes to keep up with.

Yeah. And you're not alone with that either. I know I struggle with water in the winter because it's colder and I just, like, don't want to drink it. But one of my friends who's a health coach just posted about this today. Like, that's her Kryptonite is getting enough water. She's like, I don't even like water. So she had a post about, like, different tricks to get more in. But yes, like, that's an easy one, too. And if you're sleepy, I don't know if you drink coffee, but a lot of people are just like, then pounding or drinking a lot of coffee in the morning and then. Which is a diuretic, doesn't necessarily help you with your hydration goals as much. Like, one cup is fine, but there's some people just, you know, drinking half a pot in the day and then trying to catch up with some hydration in the afternoon.

Yeah, sometimes I try to drink like a liter at 11:30 when I should already be sleeping. And I'm like, I didn't even hydrate.

And then you have to get up and go to the bathroom.

It's crazy. But I'm like, I now have these apps. I have a hydration app. And it told me yesterday that I had to select the season because my goal was a certain, certain quantity. And then I selected it's cold season and it said you have to drink even more.

Really? It had you drinking more in the colder water?

It said, it said I have to drink 10% more because it's cold. And then in the summer it will be way more, but then it's easier for me.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm trying to do all the tricks, but sometimes this is so much harder than, than making 10,000amonth.

Yeah, no, it is hard. It's a lot of hard work.

Yeah, it's. It's silly. What would you say as a, as a person who, who is running a business yourself, what are the, besides the sleeping and hydration, what are the key areas that you would never miss in a, in a day to keep yourself, like, sane, if, if that exists, but to, to take care of yourself?

What walking I feel or just spending time outside, I feel. Well, either or. I feel like walking has been so key to me and I don't even walk that long. It's not like I'm walking an hour a day or half an hour. I mean, most times between like about a half an hour, but just like getting outside and being able to get some fresh air. But even if I don't, if I'm not able to go outside and I'm walking on my walking pad, just like the movement helps, like if I'm feeling lethargic or if I'm feeling stuck or if I feel really distracted, like all of that, getting a walk really helps. Like if I need to solve a problem. Like, I've started walking in silence, like since the summer, which before I was like always a distracted walker. Like I would always have like a podcast in or music. And I remember a coach a couple years ago was like, oh, when you're really stressed, try just being in silence. And it got to the point where it's like, if I was really in a stressful state, like that was helpful. Like, the podcast was annoying. And then I was challenged in August to spend more time in silence. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna try that on my walk because that's an easier way for me. Like if someone wants to try meditation, I always but say they can't do it. I suggest trying to do some stuff in silence. So I'm like, okay, walking in silence will be beneficial. And I, like, love it. Like, it's just so helpful to me. Like, I can process, like, anything, I think, because my body's moving and so I'm a little distracted. But if I have a question that I'm wondering about, usually by the end of the walk, like, I have some semblance of an answer. So that's been kind of my superpower as a business owner. And now this year, I'm trying to start my day with that as well and without the walking. Just five minutes of just being in silence and seeing what comes to me. But that has been, like, the biggest game changer for me.

Love that. To me, it's still being in silence. It's still as difficult as hydrating. And.

Well, yeah, it's not. I mean, not all days is. And, well, when I mean, silence, there is music playing in the background, like, really low. It's. I mean, some days it's better than others. I'll be quite honest. Like, some days it's like my mind is, like, bouncing all around and I'm trying to let go of that, you know? And some days it's just like, it's so clear, like, what I need to do. So I try not to judge what happens in the five minutes. I'm just, at this point, really just trying to devote five minutes and not judge it, because I can be like, oh, my mind's not silent. Like, when I do yoga and Shavasana, I'm like, yeah, like, my mind's, like, bouncing around and I'm like, oh, stop it. You're not doing it. I'm like, trying this year not to judge, and some days are better than.

Others, but it's a challenge anyway, right? Yeah, yeah, that's it. I like that approach because otherwise. Yeah, you can't always do these things perfectly. And not doing them because you don't do them perfectly doesn't make sense. When it comes to work you do with your members, what would you say? And I think our listeners here are mostly women, 40 plus, so they will probably resonate. What is the typical area where they are stuck when they come to you?

It's. I'd say overall, it's just like unpacking a lot of diet culture. Like, if I were to put it under an umbrella, because a lot of people spend time focused on the things that are not the major diet Movers. So there's a lot of focus on what are my macros? You know, do I need to.

Is it weight loss that they are looking for?

Well, or weight management by the time they come to me, because people are. And I think overall for health coaching, that's why people come, right? Because like, they are worried about weight gain or they want to manage their weight, or they're worried about, like, their family health history. But at least in the American culture, I'm not really sure how Spanish culture is. It's all really framed around weight loss. Like, everyone feels like that's the magic cure all for everything. And so they look at things that they feel would help, but it's just like, well, let's just look at the fact that you're. You don't. You're not eating balanced meals, which means you're not getting enough protein and fiber, you're not moving your body really at all, or you're just going to the gym and then sitting all day. Like, there's so many other ways that you can create change and start to feel better and notice positive changes without just jumping to weight loss. And once clients helping women understand why some of the things that the foundational health habits, like why they're important and how they help, and once they embrace that, they start to notice changes like both in their body composition and just feeling better, and that keeps them going. It's the way to get a small win. And it feels different than a diet because it's like, oh, I'm adding something as opposed to I am restricting. And they feel just overall better about themselves.

And how do you work this? Everybody who comes to such a. Because now you are running a membership, right? So everybody that feels like, oh, I'm stuck on this one, would probably think my story is different than that of others. How do you manage this in the, in the group setting? How does it apply to everyone? Are we really that similar? Are we struggling with the same issues? Or what if there is something more personal? How do you, how do you manage that?

Well, I mean, that's the difference between a membership and one on one. So in the membership, it's really like, okay, let me take you on a journey on how to change. And so it is really, like, done with you. So what? Well, I'm revamping it, but there'll be a clearer journey. But it all starts with thinking about what you want from your life and your vision. And from your vision, deciding where you're going to start. And then there's a series of Steps you take to find the right behaviors that you feel capable of doing, that you're excited to do. We talk about, like, how to refine that and then how to grow it. And so the shared experience is that, like, okay, we're all going through this. We have different things that we're working on, but collectively we're all, like, relearning how to take care of our bodies. Like, that's really the purpose of the membership. And so that's the commonality. How you go about it is different, but we're all different anyways. Like, even if you were in a different type of membership, not everything's going to work exactly as prescribed, you know, and that's how. And that's why people always feel like they're failing with things. It's because, like, they're trying to fit themselves into a prescribed model that's not really fitting with their values or even their identity. Right. It's like. And they don't even really take the time to consider what they want their life to look like in five, 10 years. So, for example, I have a friend who, she hated exercise and. But loved to shop. And, you know, people. She was someone I used to work with. People would say to her, like, oh, try this class. Like, try this class. And I would say, well, why don't you just go to the mall and like, do like a couple laps every day. Like, start there like you. You go to the shopping plaza, like after work anyways, just to window shop. So just like, do a couple of laps. And she started there and then saw yoga, Yoga studio that she was interested in and started going to that a couple times. But what typically happens is that people are like, okay, well, you know, movement's important. And really you should. And here's this, like, work at home or. And it doesn't meet who she is and what she was interested in doing.

Yeah.

So that's why it didn't work for her. But she said, oh, yes. Like, once I started walking around the shopping closet was. I was in, I enjoyed myself. Like, she wasn't spending money. She was like, window shopping like she normally does, but she was getting more steps in. And at the end of the day, the day, that's the most important thing. So really it's teaching women that you are the expert of your life in what you need. Like, and you do know what you need. You just might need help in making it work for you realistically. And in traditional health coaching, it's so prescribed and you don't really have as much of a voice. It's like, do this this way, follow this program. And we end up failing either because it's too restrictive or it doesn't really fit our needs. Yeah.

I love that, that you, that you help people find their own way because I understand this is, this is probably the way it actually sticks. Yeah. Because sometimes we can force our stuff on ourselves, but that won't stay. And this is. What you do is not a program. It's a complete, like rewiring the brain. And from what I understand, from what you just shared, it's like once it's. First of all, it's, it's not ever done because it's a constant.

Right.

But once the work with you is done, people are a different. A different person, probably.

Yes.

Right. Yeah, that's. That's fantastic. I didn't, I was, you know, I, I do, I do see you on socials, but I still had the idea that you probably work with meal plans and stuff. And, and it's so nice to understand that this is a totally, totally different story. Love it.

Yeah, it is. And that's what I mean. It's taken me a while to figure out how to convey it in a way that makes sense to people because being a marketer, going back to being an entrepreneur is totally different than being more of a clinician, which is what I was in my previous job. And so the work is more clinical. Well, for lack of a better word, it's more clinical, hands on, based in psychology. But in order to help people understand, what I'm doing is a marketing hat, which I didn't have prior to four years ago. And so that was a skill set that I needed to learn to embrace. Well, needed to learn and then started to embrace, like once I learned how to do it.

Yeah. Do you ever miss those old times when you were working with the teens? Because that, that sounds like a pretty amazing job.

I do, but things have changed so much. Like I. Our school, we were a small school and we were such. A lot of people aren't there anymore, but we were such a family and working with kids who struggled in traditional school settings and watching them go through the. How many years, Some of them were there for the four years, some of them shorter. It was such a wonderful thing. And it was. You talk about like, purpose and impact. It was like all there, wrapped up every day in such a lovely way. So, yes, I do miss that. But when I speak to people who are still there, they're like, it's so different now than it was pre Covid that you would be miserable now. So I think I missed the idea of what it was, not what it is now because a lot of things have changed. But I, I do miss it and every once in a while, like this fall when we went to open house for my daughter's school and listening to the teachers talk, I was like, I do miss education. I miss that. I don't know.

Yeah, it makes me nostalgic. I, I did have a brick and mortar school for kids before COVID So yeah, I feel that. But yeah, we can, we are still in the area of helping others so we can channel.

Yes.

Abilities and.

Exactly.

To make things better for, for people around us. If someone is listening and they're like, oh my God. I, I want to hear more from Renee. Where can they find you? What's the best way to, to get started with you?

A couple ways. I am on social media, mostly Instagram, dabbling into TikTok, both coach at CoachRenae Bellinger and on my website reneebellingercoaching.com you can join my email send out. Wow. I'm supposed to send out emails weekly. Getting back to that, sending out emails like weekly or bi weekly about different. It's really more a personal approach. I talk about like how I am going through my life and applying a lot of the principles that I talk about as opposed to just lecturing people all the time. I just talk about what's going on in my life and how it applies to health, behavior change and gives people ideas how they can apply it in their life as well. So those are the best ways to reach me.

Well, we will, we will add these links into the show notes and like you said, it's still a process, a journey for you too. I'm curious, where do you see yourself in a year, in two years in your life but also with this business, with this membership, what's your future vision?

Well, my future vision is that like I hinted at it before, but that it will grow from health and nutrition to encompass so many things because getting older there's like, there's so many layers to it and I feel like there's so many reasons why women pursue weight loss and there's like a sense of invisibility, not knowing how to dress for like their new body type and all of this stuff. And I really want a place where people can have resources for all of them that you know eventually I would like it to be like a one stop shopping for women over 40. Like you get your health piece but you have like other lifestyle content as well, because I think that's really important. We're more than just health and nutrition. And so that's the goal for my business and my work and where I want to be, like, in five years, probably two to five years, that's where I want to be.

That's amazing. I love the idea of a hub where people can go to because. Yeah, this journey can sometimes feel lonely. And it's it's nice to have a community to belong to. From what I feel, yours is is very much a welcoming and warm welcome, warm community. So I wish you all the very best with the revamp of the thank you. Membership and with this whole idea becoming a reality for you and for those many people that. That work with you, learn from you. Thank you, Renee.

Thank you.