15 Lessons That Changed My Life

Hey guys, I know I don't do these videos a lot, but I just want to come on here really quick and share a short list of the things that have fundamentally changed my life over the last five years or so. If you're a little lost looking for some direction or motivation, you might actually take a lot from. This can be very unfiltered in this. If you're like me, you know, Instagram is a highlight reel. You have to know that most of the stuff you see is not necessarily fake, but it doesn't show the whole picture. So I want to level with you guys here. I'm not going to sit here and act like a guru, but I have built a multi seven figure software company. I have played every competitive sport you can possibly possibly think of. Great family, great friends that traveled a ton. And there's some things that I've learned that I genuinely want to share. That you might take a lot of value and you might feel like, oh yeah, that's like me too. Wow, I didn't think about it that way. So number one, simple. It's getting really real with yourself about what you want out of life. And I'm talking like 8 by 11 piece of paper, whiteboard. 3 years ago I had a whiteboard. I wrote down some simple goals. How much money do I make? What physical shape do I want to be in? What do I want my relationships to be like with my family, family, my partner and my friends. Getting realistic with the materialistic things and then also the bigger things of life, like where you want to live, what you want to do, what you want to be. I was not huge into manifesting. Now I have to believe it because about 80% of those goals came true, but obviously not by mistake. The action was there to back it up. So you want to quit your job, you want to start a business. All the actions you do better line up with that. Get in the best shape of your life. Well, I don't know, are you going to the gym five days a week? You want to have a million dollars in the bank by, I don't know, 30 or whatever it might be? Okay, Are you doing the things that line up with that and being really brut, truly honest with yourself about is what I'm doing actually in line with these things? Don't over complicate it. Literally. Get down a piece of paper, write it down. Number two is knowing that your brain is seriously your biggest asset and your biggest enemy at the same time. With strong belief and conviction, you can do anything. I can attest to that. But I also will say that your mind can also play some crazy tricks on you. One of them is limiting beliefs about anything. You're like me. I remember I was in college, money is an easy one because it's just, just so, you know, obvious. No, I remember I wanted to make six figures, right? 150 grand or something. And as I started to get to the workforce, I was like, okay, that could be doable. Wow, it's a lot harder than I thought. And I have to work here for a long time. And then 250 sound crazy unachievable. I ended up hanging out with a lot of different people, thought a lot bigger, reading books, watching material. And pretty much what I'm saying is your mind, if you have mental shackles, you are literally nerfing yourself more than likely if you think of a big achievement. The only reason you don't think bigger is because you're scared of no knowing deep down that you might not be capable of doing that or don't want to put in the work. Like that's the dead ass truth. So you need to find where your level is. Is of like, hey, I'd be very happy to go for this very uncomfortable, high achieving goal in whatever facet of your life. Number three is people pleasing. I remember when I was 22, 23, dressing a certain way, talking a certain way, hanging around people in a certain way, doing certain things a certain way to look a certain way. There was a breaking point when I was like 24, 25 where I was like, screw this, screw this. I am just gonna be Evan, take it or leave it. Unapolog energetically myself. Best decision I ever made in life. I don't know why I didn't do that sooner. I don't know why the brain makes you think that. Of course everybody wants to be like. But it is the number one thing that will keep you from the authentic relationships you want and the future you want for yourself in pretty much every regard. Number four, I think we're on four is the power of yes and no. And the difference between when you were a kid and as an adult. As in a kid, the power of yes is your number one thing. As an adult, the power of no is the thing that's going to get you quantum leap. Let me explain really quick. As a kid, saying yes to everything is amazing out in the world trying to figure out what you like and don't like. As an adult, you would like to think that you start to really dial in what you like and what you don't like as an adult, you don't want to hurt people's feelings. Word. No is so bad, right? But it's not. It's an incredible way to protect your energy. The only thing you have, which is your energy and time and as an adult, knowing what to say no to. For me, I had some crazy quantum leaps in life when I said, no, I don't want to do an agency anymore. I turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars to go pursue something that literally was making no money, that had no obvious future to it. And obviously I don't regret it at all. And led me down a really good path. If I didn't say no to that, it would have got me. I've never drank, I've never done drugs. I said no to that. I don't put myself on any pedestal at all. But I'm definitely happy that I said no to all of those things. It can boil down to the simple monotonies of the day of saying no to an invitation because you know it doesn't align with you. You should only have two words. Yes. No. There's no maybe. If it's a maybe, you are doing a disservice to yourself and other people. Number five, always know why you're doing what you're doing. I luckily grew up in a background playing sports, traveling, having fun was a huge part of it. But I also know a lot of entrepreneurs that literally work is their identity, money is their identity, but they feel happy with it. But then, like, at the same time, like, it's pretty obvious that. I mean, I know personally that's just like an empty path. Money is a facilitator of a life that you want to have for sure. But if it is wrapped up in your identity, even slightly, the moment anything goes wrong, you're just in a bad spot. Like, it's not good. So never forget why you're doing what you're doing. I know for me, deep to my core, through a lot of pain, is understanding that the only thing that matters to family, friends, hanging out, doing things I love with the people I love, that traveling. That could be skiing, that could be golfing, playing tennis. Money just makes it easier to do those things without having to thinking about where the next paycheck is coming from. Doing anything you want at any point in time with little to no consequences. Number seven is arguably one of the biggest ones. I think we're on seven, that is that you need to be able to complete this sentence in most things you do or buy or Say, when it comes to materialism, would I buy blank if nobody existed? Would I buy my X3M if nobody existed? Absolutely. I love this car. Would I buy a Rolex if nobody existed? No. No. Would I buy this super nice house that's bigger than what I need if nobody existed? No. Would I dress this way, act this way, do this thing if nobody existed? Yes or no? These are questions you need to ask yourself. Once you start asking yourself in this framework, you will truly, finally be you. You'll be you doing you, doing what your real identity would speak through unapologetically. Number eight, you are the reason why things don't work out. It's kind of extreme, but what I'm saying is accountability, leading a life where you hold yourself fully accountable. You're not blaming the government, you're not blaming other people higher up. You're not mean. You fully understand that you can only control what you can control. And outside of that, the word complain doesn't reg in your head. I had to ask because I don't know the meaning of the word. This will allow you to serve yourself and other people so much better, so much freer. It will really allow you to just maximize your energy in what you do. 10. Live in the present, think in the future. The hardest things. If you're anything like me, someone who overthinks, overanalyzes a lot of stuff, it's hard to be in the present. I've been able to be more present now than I've ever been. And I'm like, why did it take this long? But also the reason I am where I am is because I did think about my future, almost to a detriment. And so being able to live in the present now, genuinely think about what you're doing now, the actions you're doing, how you're talking, what you're saying, where does that actually go? If you can do that, your future will be very bright. You actually know where you're going. Number 13. I think we're here knowing how to take feedback and not take things personally. You take something personally, it definitely says more about you than the other person. Let me explain. When I was a content creator, I would take things so personally. If someone didn't like my work, I would not like them. I've been blocks, people, be honest. But at that time, it absolutely said more about me than it did about them. And at the source of this is obviously ego and a lack of humility. What's so funny? Being where I am today, knowing I can pull back that ego and to deploy that humility is one of the most profound, remarkable things you can do to accelerate your relationships, the fulfillment in your life, your direction, your meaning, your purpose, your future, all of it. Because when you go through life taking things personally, you're doing the number one thing that would prevent you from growth. You must understand. Understand. 99% of people you talk with have no intention or anything to gain from hurting you or your feelings or whatever. When you fully understand that, not read it, you fully understand that in your blood you are able to approach your life in a completely different way. You start to be able to grow in ways that the previous version of yourself was literally incapable of doing. Number 14. This is a tough one. Don't listen to people that do not have what you are looking for. For someone doesn't have the financial literacy, the relationship you want, the lifestyle you want, the list goes on. Why are you listening to someone that doesn't have. Because a lot of these people, and I'm going to be very honest here, those people will typically, without knowing, project their own. I don't know if that's that good or why would you do. Why would you do that? Why are you trying to get answers from people that wouldn't even understand or be able to comprehend because of their own limiting beliefs? Like we talked earlier, make sure to ask yourself times the opinion I'm looking for from this person, something that they themselves embody or do. All right, the Last one here, 1720, wherever we are, know that you are where you are because you are, as stupid as that sounds, you are where you are because of the beliefs, the actions, the internal thoughts that you have. You don't like where you are. You have to have a real conversation with yourself. Do I want to be here? Do I want to have this job? Do I want to live in this city? Do I want to be doing blank whatever it is. A lot of people, people don't ask themselves these questions because they know if they were honest with themselves and they said no, that would then require them, would have to do something about it. No matter how successful you get. Anyways, that's all I got for you. For those of you who know me, you're probably like, Evan's never posted a video like, this is kind of weird. Well, some things change. But anyways, I mean, who am I to say these things, you know, honest, share these perspectives that I have. I'm not trying to pose to be some YouTube inspirational guy. I think that's part of why this might be useful for some people as I'm being just very raw and authentic. There's nothing to gain. So that's it. Hope you took some value.