How to MOTIVATE Yourself - #BelieveLife

What's up, Believe Nation? It's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe in people more than they believe in themselves. And my sincere hope is that if you see in yourself what I see in you, you'll be able to change the planet. I started the Believe Life Series to help us learn a little bit more about ourselves, grow personally, and ideally bring some of what we learn about ourselves to our business to have more success. So today we're gonna learn how to motivate yourself. Rule number 4 is my personal favorite, and I'd love to know which one you guys like the best. Also, as you're watching, if you hear something that really resonates with you, please leave it down in the comments below and put quotes around it so other people can be inspired by it as well. And if you leave it within the first couple hours of this video going live, you have a chance to win one of 2 daily prizes.

We're all given a certain amount of time to experience life, to carry out our dreams, our destiny. But we don't realize that the time bar of our life can only grow smaller from today going forward. Let that sink in. You can't buy time. You can't grow time. You can't ask for more time. You can only lose time. And after we lose time, we have no idea how much time we even have left. Our lifespan is a mystery. See, being human is a double-edged sword because although we have so much time compared to other species, we give ourselves too much time to accomplish what needs to be done. The idea of having so much more time to accomplish things makes us waste time. We abuse it. We use it. It feeds our lack of action. It makes us too comfortable. Now we all aim to succeed, to prosper, to become a diamond in a world full of rocks. But there's no evolutionary pressure to help us. And that's where the mind shift needs to take place. You need to create a pressure for yourself to become that diamond. And the way that you do that is by understanding the value of time. Stop killing time. Because eventually that turns around and time is going to kill you. You have the power to prevent time loss. You have the power to prevent wasted time, but you also have the power to kill time, and many of us are doing that. Before we make decisions, before we act, we need to think about how we're spending our time. We need to focus on what we want to accomplish, what makes the heart burn with passion, what wakes us up in the morning. What's your why? Time is the most valuable resource we have. I could save money for later. I can't do that with my time. I can invest in more money. I can't do that with time. I can share my money. I still can't do that with time. Stop damaging your lifespan. Sooner or later, you're going to realize that the only thing you wish you have more of is time, but it's what you use the worst.

Let me tell you something. The M, your motives. Listen to me, when you get to a point where when you start living certain things, you ain't gotta say it. You ain't gotta be a walking billboard, right? People will know who you are not by what you say or claim you are, but they'll know who you are by your spirit. Are you hearing what I'm saying? And that's my last one, motive. What's your motive? There are a lot of people, you're not successful in life, not because you ain't got talent, not because you ain't got skills, but your character ain't right. And I've told you this before, that if you not careful, your talent will take you places that your character can't keep you. Are you hearing what I'm saying? Your talent will take you places, your character can't keep you. So what's your motive? There are people out there who call me, "E.T., I wanna be a speaker." Why? You tryna blow up? You tryna be seen? Or are you tryna help people? Are you tryna minister to people? Are you tryna help people in their life? Or are you tryna blow up? Alright, so somebody came in my life the other day and told me they wanna be famous. I said, "What you wanna be famous at?" They like, "I don't know what I wanna be famous in. I just wanna be able to walk through the mall and they shut it down." Listen to me, what's your motive? Why do you do what you do? And that's so important. It's not enough just to be a doctor. You got doctors who got terrible bedside manners, terrible. You got lawyers who are skilled but arrogant. We talking about character right now. What's your motive? Why do you do what you do? Are you doing what you're doing to help people, to benefit people? You say, "E.T., you ain't trying to get paid?" Listen to me very closely. Look, when you good at what you do and you looking out for people, are you hearing what I'm saying? Listen to me. I've cracked codes. I've been able to get into places other people don't get into. Why? Because people understand. They understand that ET, we know why he do what he doin'. ET is tryna help us, not hurt us. Are you hearin' me? And so, I'mma let you listen to this. I'mma let you listen to the why. We took it down from the site. Listen, I'mma put it back up, just the audio. I want you to listen to it, but before we go, remember the I, an idea, that's good. A, action, that's important, but the motivation is important. Why? Because when you look at the word, you got two things. You got motive and then action, right? So motive is important because what's driving your action? That— hear what I'm saying? Even in your action, while your action is good, you've got to ask what drives it? What guides it? What moves it? What's the spirit behind it? What's the reason behind it? What's the purpose behind it? Are you hearing what I'm saying? That's just as critical as the action itself. So, the reason why you can't get up at 4 o'clock in the morning, the reason why when I say get up at 6, you looking at me like I'm crazy, is because you don't have that thing that's driving you, that's pushing you to say no to the alarm clock and wake up, no to the snooze button. When you get that extra assignment, that extra lap, the reason why you can't do it is because you don't have the right mm. You ain't got the right mm. You ain't got the right mm, that motive that's pushing the action. And so, I want you I want you to listen to the why, and at the end of it, I want you to write down what motivates you. And when you write it down, if it's just money, listen to me, boo. If it's just money, you gonna make it, and then what's gonna happen? Right? If it's just to be seen, if it's just about you, when you get in the gated community, when you get that European vehicle, when you blow up, what's that? What do you do after that? Are you hearing me? If you make it to the NFL, and that's only a 3-year span, 10 years at most. If you make it to the NBA, and you retire and you still 32, 33, what's after that? So what, you made it to the league? So what, you won a championship? So what, you the MVP? So what, you won the scoring title? What's after that? So what, you got the Lombardi Trophy? So what, you got the rushing title? So what, you got the most runs, the most yards in the NFL? What's after that? So what's your motivation? What moves you? What drives you? And you'll hear me say it, Martin Luther King died, I don't know how much money he made, but I know his motivation. He moved the world. I don't know how much money Mother Teresa made, but I know she changed the world. I don't know how much money Gandhi made, but I know he changed the world. What's your why?

A lot of people think they'll have motivation one day, then they'll put the effort out. It's like motivation first, they think, then effort comes. The motivation inspires the effort, right? It's actually the opposite in the science of motivation. It's with daily effort that motivation comes. I like to tell people this: with momentum comes more motivation. Don't wait for the mo-motivation to go out and take action. Actually, take action first, 'cause just a little bit of progress, a few quick wins, drops dopamine into the brain, we start feeling good and rewarded for our behavior, and suddenly we find ourselves more motivation. So here's the thing: set 3 goals each day. Knock off each of those 3 goals. If you just did that each and every single day, you'd start feeling more personal power, and you start getting ahead.

I started shaving my head when I was 16 years old, and the feeling I had every morning when I looked in the mirror was horrible. And I didn't want to feel like that anymore. And how I felt was a kid going nowhere, a kid that was scared. And most kids will accept that and look for help. But the best thing that happened to me, no one helped me. No one felt sorry for me. No one looked at me and said, like, this day and age, they'll take you in and they'll tell everybody, stop picking on this person. Back then they didn't care. The KKK marched in our Fourth of July parades. They had to stay 100 yards back, but they marched in it.

Wow.

That's how this town was. And my mom cared about me, but my dad took our soul.

Mm.

And she, you know, did the best she could. I had to figure out I wasn't gonna be a punk kid all my life. So the only way I could turn it around was to suffer. I had to build calluses in my brain the same way I built calluses on my hands. So I broke the Ginsburg World Record for pull-ups a long time ago, but I failed at it twice. And I did 67,000 pull-ups in trying to break this record. So to do 4,030 pull-ups, I had to do 67,000 for training for that.

Wow.

And so what I realized is for me to become the man I wanted to become, I saw myself as the weakest person God ever created, but I never blamed God for anything he did to me. So I wanted to change that to be the hardest man ever created. Am I that? I don't know, but you had to have a goal. And my goal, when I was sitting there not going to school, being bullied, being— having no self-esteem, my goal was the only person that's gonna turn this person around is me. The only way I can turn it around is put myself through the worst things possible a human being can ever endure. And that'd be the only way that I can build this brain to handle anything that comes in front of it. Callusing my mind through pain and suffering.

In the end, like, what would your advice be to that 16-year-old kid who's staring in the mirror, does not like what he sees, but is still running from adversity?

Well, my biggest advice to him is that first of all, he won't like what I say to him. Because I'm going to say the exact opposite of what the world, today's world is saying. So we read a bunch of books nowadays. As humans, we want to find out how to be someone else. What we don't do is we don't go inside. So literally turn yourself inside out. Read the book that's inside. Like we're writing a book every day of our lives. But we never read that book. So what I would challenge this young man or young woman to do is you have to look inside of yourself to see what you really want. What are you passionate about? We use these words and these labels. These little phrases of only the strong survive and all this other crap. They're all just fucking words. I get so tired of hearing people just talking. Like right now, someone may think, "Doggone, he's just talking." You don't know me. So when I speak, I speak from passion. I speak from experience. I speak from suffering. I was to tell this young man or woman that the only way I believe, and this is just my experience in life, the only way you're ever going to get to the other side of this journey is you have got to suffer to grow. To grow, you must suffer. And some people will get it and some people won't, but they have to see what their journey is to start their journey. Several people live to be 100 years old and they have great lives and they have great kids. Their kids go to college and all sorts of stuff, but somewhere in their life, there was a point where they had a decision to make. They can go left or right on this path. Left was the easy route, right was the hard route. A lot of people take the easy route, and they had a good life that way, but the better life was going to the right side. And you may have 20 years of pain and suffering to get past it, but a lot of us die never truly starting our journey. And I would tell this young person, you gotta start your journey. It may suck, but it will, it will come out the other side where you're coasting.

If you find your passion, you're gonna have this tremendous energy. It's sustainable energy, but momentum requires you always do the next thing to keep the momentum going. And the reason you get yourself in a passionate place is so that you change your life, and the only thing that changes your life is making a decision. So while you're in this passionate state, that's where you make decisions. You don't make decisions when you're like, "Huh, I don't know, what do you think? Alright, let's decide." If you make a decision in a state without momentum, if you make a decision from a place where there's no passion, you are not gonna get momentum. It'll kill momentum. It's decide, commit, and resolve. Some of you, in the past, you've gotten momentum, You've gotten passionate. You've even made a decision. But a decision is the first step. Decision is like a war. I gotta do this or that. All right, I'm gonna make myself do this. But commitment is when you now, after you've decided, you commit to do this for the long term. Whether it's hard or easy doesn't matter. You're doing this. It takes it from this moment and it carries you to the future even when things are difficult. And the third state is resolve. Resolve means it's done. It's like it doesn't even— if you took action, it's done inside you, so it's done out there. There's no question whatsoever. Then once you decide, the only way the commitment and the energy and the momentum continues is if you take immediate Massive what, my friends? Massive what? Write down in your notes, massive action is the cure-all. Massive action is the cure-all. If you're having a difficult time with something, your relationship isn't where you want it to be, your finances are not where you want to be, your body's not where you want to be, your business is not where you want to be, you need to take massive action. And if that doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Keep going with massive action and you will find the way because it will give you momentum.

How do we get people to become success seekers rather than failure avoiders? First day of introductory psychology class, I teach two classes of 600 students, maybe some of you have been in that class, and remember the first day I say, "How many are here to avoid failure?" And 80% raise their hand. And I say, "Well, thanks for coming. I know you're motivated, but you're not happy campers. You probably told your friends, 'I got to go to class. It's a requirement.' Not, 'I get to go to class. It's an opportunity.' You probably woke up to an alarm clock, not an opportunity clock." And it's all in how you see it. Really, it's all in how you see it. It's your paradigm. It's how you communicate to others. And how you communicate to yourself. So Ellen Langer said in her book "Mindfulness," she said— and psychologists know— when you perceive choice, you perceive motivation. You're more motivated. So the deal is, for yourself, sit back and reflect. Be mindful of the choices you have. And talk about being a success seeker rather than a failure avoider. It's all how you talk, how you communicate to yourself. And to others.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I'd love to know, what did you think? What did you learn from this video that you're going to apply immediately somehow to your life or to your business? Leave it down in the comments below. I'm really excited to hear from you. And if you leave a comment within the first few hours of this video going live, you might win one of our two daily prizes. I also want to give a quick shout out to Jamiah Expose. Thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word. The ebook version and reading it and sharing it to your audience. I really, really appreciate the support, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the book. Thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you soon.

The biggest thing you should fear in your life is that you waste your life. This precious thing that you've got, this one chance, this one instance, this one shot that you get. Just one. Do you realize what this life is? I feel like people don't really understand what, what life is. I mean, what is life? Look at your hands. Like, look around you. It's amazing. It's pure magic.

The average guy, he lacks the skills to do anything productive in his life. If he decides to take on a new diet, he'll drop it. He probably won't even finish reading the diet book. If he decides to go to the gym, and he's tired after he gets home from work, he says, "I'm tired. I am not going to the gym today because I'm tired. My emotions tell me not to go to the gym, so I'm not going to gym because my emotions said so." A lot of people simply do not have standards. They're willing to let their lives slide. They're willing to let their life just ooze on by, and they lack a sense of urgency about the direction that their life is going.

Is what you want to live a nice happy life? With a simple family and a 9-to-5 job and then retirement? That is what you're gonna do with your one life?

What are some examples of things that are pathetic? Not having your health handled, fucking pathetic. Not living in a situation that you're comfortable in because you were lazy, fucking pathetic. And how about not having the type of dating life that you want or sex life that you want? If you don't have that, it is pathetic.

That's it? That's what you're gonna do? You're gonna go, you're gonna punch the clock for 8, 9 hours a day for 40 years of your life doing work you have no emotional connection to, doing work that isn't serving the universe or the world in any especially important way, and then you're gonna do that over and over and over again?

So the reason why people don't put action behind their work and their thought process and what they're saying is because they lose the motivation. They lose that fire inside.

And beyond that, just what is— what is this reality that we inhabit? It's like pure magic. It really is. And yet, what do you do with it? You shit all over it. You take this magical thing and what have you done with it? You've made yourself bored and miserable and depressed and whining and complaining and bitching and moaning and acting the victim and being unmotivated and being petty, worrying about stupid things, holding negative judgments and opinions of others, taking all of this for granted. Imagine right now that I told you that you only have till the end of today to live.

With every milestone, while you might be excited about the milestone, there's a part of the milestone that you don't want to face. Are you hearing me? And listen to me. I knocked out the coursework, boom, got it done in order. E.T., why did it take you 2 years? E.T., after you finish your coursework, why did it take you 2 years to get started with the dissertation? I'm gonna be 100 with you. That would— when— look, knocked all the coursework out, but when I finally got to the dissertation, I had to get to that demon. I had to deal with it. I had to face it. Face what? We're not talking about elementary school, middle school, high school. I've had a professor or two tell me in college that you will never get your dissertation, that, that, that while your writing has improved, but in terms of your analysis, like, you are not critical enough to do a dissertation. Are you You hear what I'm telling you? We talking about, look, math, I love math coming up.

Why?

It is what it is. Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally. Like, it is what it is, right? It's not subjective. Writing is subjective. I've had teachers to look at my work and strip it into parts. The fear, the fear of what? The fear of rejection, right? My teachers were so subjective. I put my whole heart into it. I put everything I could put and they tell me edit it again. Revision after revision, edit after edit. Are you hearing what I'm telling you? I had to deal with the fact that writing has never really been my strong suit. And even though I've worked hard and I put in hours and hours, in the back of my mind, ah, in the back of my mind, I could hear the teacher say, E.T., you don't have what it takes to get a dissertation. I'm a grown man dealing with that fear. I'm a grown man dealing with the rejection. Of getting all that red, ah, all that red on my paper, of having to do it over and over and over and over. And come on, come on, somebody feels me. You feel like you'll do 120%, you'll give everything you have, and it still won't be enough. I feel you. I was there. A part of the milestone is, what if I give everything and it ain't enough? What if I put my whole heart, my whole mind, my whole soul into it? E.T. And it's not enough. What if I do it and I fail? And so I feel you. So you just like, you're not gonna do it at all because you'd rather not do it and find out the truth. And I'm telling you, you gotta do me a favor. You gotta face your fear and you gotta do it anyway. Your boy E.T. had to face his fear. That's right. Yep, I know you see E.T. Beast mode. And you right, I am beast mode. But it don't mean beast mode without fear. It don't mean beast mode without a little anxiety. It don't mean beast mode and I'm just 120% sure. No, I have to live by faith too. And I made up in my mind, E.T., you gotta do it. You gotta go after it, E. Look, I finished my coursework. It took me 2 years.

Why?

'Cause it took me 2 years to get over the fear. It took me 2 years to get over the anxiety. It took me 2 years to finally say, "Goliath, here I come. Goliath, you might be taller than me. You might be bigger than me. You might be stronger than me, but I'm coming. And I'd rather die trying. I'd rather die going after this dissertation. I'd rather give everything I got. I'd rather give a year. I'd rather put in work." and fail to not try at all.

You have to focus. Now, before you turn off the video or go to the next one, listen to this. A lot of people have that initial desire, but they don't look at their goals every single day. They don't revisit every single, let's say, Sunday and say, how did I do this week? How did I do in my health, in my relationships, in my career? How did I do with my finances? How did I do I do with any other goals that I set up. You have to have that daily discipline to look and focus on what you're doing, and that weekly review. You also have to have the ability to avoid distractions. One of the reasons people love my book, The Motivation Manifesto, is this teaches you how to set boundaries, how to say no, how to push away distraction to own your life again.