How to Overcome Fear and Unlock Your Bravery Like Quentin Tarantino

If you're looking for ways to develop a resilience to fear, turn fear on itself, and practice your bravery, then this video is for you.

The things that most frighten us, when we actually have the courage to do them, dissolve.

What am I afraid of? I'm afraid of that? I got to be more afraid of what I'm gonna miss out on. Missing out on my mission, missing out who I'm supposed to be.

We don't live in a society that values bravery training. You don't really hear people saying, go out and use this day to practice becoming fearless.

What's up, it's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe in you, and I want to see that amazing thing that you have inside you burst out to have a great impact for yourself, your family, your friends, the community, and the world. I started the Believe Life Series on the weekend to cover different personal development topics that hopefully you can absorb. Take some time on the weekend to take that message in and help you be a better version of yourself. So let's live our best believe life today and learn how to get rid of fear. Enjoy! Coming up first is why you need to develop resilience in the face of fear with Robin Sharma.

If you're human, you're going to face fear. And so one of the things that A-players do, that leaders without titles do, that iconic human beings do, is they develop a resilience or hardiness in the face of fear. A story I remember reading in an Osho book a while ago. So there was this man and he was a mountain climber. So he climbed the mountain and he reached the summit, but he sort of misjudged the timing and it became dark. And so he made his way down the mountain as the sunset But he got to a place where it became so dark he couldn't move. And he thought he was on this ledge and he just became paralyzed by fear. He just realized that, you know, if he moved a few inches over, he would fall thousands and thousands of meters or feet to his death. And so all night, that was the most terrifying night of his life. He was on this ledge. He couldn't even move forward because he thought he'd fall. And he just stayed there frozen for hours and hours and hours. And then with the first rays of daylight, he started to laugh. And the reason he started to laugh was he realized just below the ledge, there was this huge stone platform. There was no danger whatsoever. It was just his perception of fear that caused him to feel terrified. And I think that's a powerful idea for us. The things that most frighten us, when we actually have the courage to do them, Dissolve.

So that was a great intro from Robin to set things up. Now let's get into how to actually take the steps consistently to get rid of that fear. Coming up first is Turn Fear on Itself with Tony Robbins.

The only way to deal with fear that I found in my life is a couple ways. One of those ways is to turn it on itself and ask yourself What am I afraid of? I'm afraid of that. I got to be more afraid of what I'm going to miss out on, missing out on my mission, missing out who I'm supposed to be. In other words, if you're not getting rid of fear, then use fear. Use fear or it uses you. It's that simple. So you got to say, okay, what's the price if I just stay doing this? What's the price? What do I need to really get scared if I learn all this, I don't follow through? That's something to be scared about. And then that fear will get you over your fear. It'll push you through. Turn fear on itself. Second way you can do it is use what you've probably heard me say, 'cause I've used it since I was 17, is my little rocking chair test, right? I'm gonna sit myself in my rocking chair and I'm 85 years old and looking back on my life and I say, I didn't do this or I did.

Up next, tip number 2, practice bravery training with Robin Sharma.

Practice bravery training. You know, you wanna be a great footballer, we understand you've gotta put in the time to practice. You wanna be a great chef, we understand you've You've got to do the practice. You want to be a great entrepreneur? You've got to put in the hours of rigor and discipline building your business. You want to be a great chess champion? Of course, they're obsessed monomaniacally with practice. And yet when it comes to fear, we don't live in a society that values bravery training. You don't really hear people saying, "Go out and use this day to practice becoming fearless." And yet, you know, we all know the 10,000-hour rule. We all know the 10-year rule pioneered by Anders Ericsson University of Florida, the preeminent researcher in the field of exceptional performance, and that 10-year rule has now been popularized by a lot of authors. But what he found was this: if you look at any great performer, they had one thing in common. They spent the equivalent of 10 years or 10,000 hours practicing their skill before the first signs of genius showed up. And so to become fearless, why not find some time every day to practice becoming fearless? Why not use whatever irritates you or frustrates you or frightens you during your day as bravery training? So let's say your supervisor walks in and says, you know, tomorrow I'd like you to give a presentation on that project you did so brilliantly on. And start to pay attention. You notice you start to feel afraid. Develop the mindset where you say, Okay, I'm gonna say yes, because that is bravery training. Let's say you go home, and with your intimate partner, you wanna speak up, you wanna say something. Maybe you wanna ask for more love, maybe you wanna ask for one of your needs to be met because you feel it's unmet. But then you feel, well, what if he or she judges me? What if I get laughed at? What if they think I'm strange? Develop the mindset where you recognize that everything that scares you is bravery training. Okay, so what I'm suggesting on the first insight is really practice becoming fearless and you will become a fearless human being.

Tip number 3 is focus on the positives with Brendon Burchard.

And the third thing that most people are actually fearing is they're fearing what I call outcome pain. They're scared that what if, what if they lose all these things in changing? What if they go through all this terrifying difficult work and then the grass is not greener? The outcome is no better than I had at the very beginning. I was terrified that with my business too. I thought, oh my gosh, what if I begin this business and I do all these things and I work my butt off, but I don't make it? I don't earn any more money. I don't have a better lifestyle. I don't grow as fast. What if on the other side of the fence it's not any better? And we sit and we think, what if? It's not better and I would have to go through all that. And if we're stuck there thinking that way, we never change. So part of the maturity and the mastery of life is realizing too that instead of focusing on the outcomes that are negative, we can start thinking and dreaming about and visualizing and really giving our attention, our focus, and powers of attraction into those things that would be powerful and good and satisfying. Fulfilling, happy, joyous on the other side of that fence. The things that would turn out to be wonderful and magnificent if we change our life. Like if I quit the smoking, I'm finally gonna be able to feel good again. I'm not gonna have to be addicted to some small little thing that's killing millions of people, that's just feeding these huge organizations that are killing people over and over and over again. I'm not gonna perpetuate a disease in my body or in my family. I'm not gonna make my— everybody I'm not gonna carry on my addictions.

Oh, you know what?

In that new area too, I'm gonna feel fit and happy and vibrant and energized on my own again. Oh, when I start that diet, you know what? I'm gonna really enjoy tasting some new foods because I haven't tasted good food for a long time. I'm going to actually enjoy going out with people again. I'm gonna enjoy shopping again to find clothes that actually fit my body. You start thinking about all the things that will be positive from that change. And when you do that, you start to master your mind and direct it better. Because you know what? When you're obsessing about loss pain, process pain, and outcome pain, guess what? The more you focus on those, the more you obsess about those types of pain, your brain and your body goes, no, don't do that. I don't want to experience that. Because we've built and we've been gifted with this incredible contraption here that is unbelievably driven to avoid pain. And when we realize that, then we have to stop suffering in our mind and stewing in our mind about the pain we might experience if we do the very things that would improve our lives.

Tip number 4 is step into the fear with me.

Here's what I think happens to most people. There's some opportunity that comes along, there's some moment that comes along, whether it's with a client or meeting somebody or an event, something comes along that you're afraid of. You're afraid of doing it. It's going to stretch you beyond what you've ever done before. And then what you do is you rationalize saying no. I don't have the money to go to that event. I'm too busy to go and do that thing right now. You find the reason why you can't go and do it. You rationalize it, but really deep down the reason is you're just afraid. And until you spot the fear until you understand that it's really just the fear, then you're never going to solve the problem. So step 1 is understanding when there is fear. Step 2 is then stepping into it and doing it anyway. And a lot of this stuff is just so subconscious. You know, we as human beings are kind of trained to, when we're afraid something's going to go wrong, and to be safe. And so it's trying to catch that subconscious action and proactively change it. So as an example, for me, when I was starting my YouTube channel, my agent would tell me, you have to go out and do videos in public. I want you to go out on the street and make a video in public. My natural reaction was fear, but I didn't catch it initially. It was, the gear won't be as good in public, you know, I can't control the light settings, I'm going to be bouncing around with the camera, it's not going to be a great experience for the people watching. Why would I do that? I'm rationalizing a reason why I don't have to do it, where really I'm just afraid, right? You could solve all those problems. And he told me, stop being afraid and just go out and do it. He cut through it and let me see my own fear. And so I did it. And when I first went out and filmed in public, I took out— it was my phone or my camera, I don't remember— and I'm walking down the street, and then the postman is there And so as soon as I see the postman, I quiet down, I put the camera away, just walking normally. And then when the postman leaves, I'm back to filming. And that time I noticed, like, I'm doing it because I'm afraid. And I got pissed. Okay, next time I gotta speak up. Next time I gotta do better. And so I went out and forced myself to go and do it again. And I was walking past and there were these construction workers and instantly again the panic sets in like, "People are watching, construction workers." Like, I know they don't really even care about me and what I'm saying, what's happening on the street, but I forced myself through it. It was awkward, it wasn't great, I think I had to redo it again anyway, but I took the step. I got better at it. I recognized the fear and I jumped into it. And now to the point where I'll make videos walking down the hall. I make videos when I'm at Disneyland, Disney World, you know. I'll make videos in the streets of anywhere. And there's still a moment, even now after how many videos I've done, there's still a moment of who's watching. I think it's natural, normal. It's not as strong as it used to be, and more importantly, it doesn't limit me from doing the thing that I want to do. And so spotting the fear and not rationalizing it away away and not just doing what your subconscious always does that keeps you down where you are is so important. Being truthful that the reason why you said no or you're not taking this opportunity is just because you're afraid. And the answer to saying no should never be because I'm afraid. You want to rejig your system so whenever that's the answer, because I'm afraid to do it, now you have go out and do it. Because you're afraid, now you have to go out and do it. And you build your muscle to get stronger, to take on new opportunities, so you don't play safe and play small for the rest of your life.

And tip number 5 is grandiose your way out of fear with Quentin Tarantino.

When you experience moments of self-doubt, how do you approach getting out of that dark place?

Good question.

I grandiose my way out of fear.

If you can imagine that.

It's a good way.

You know, it's like, literally, it's like, okay, I'm gonna do one of the greatest car chases of all time, and if I don't, I'm not as talented as I thought I was, and I will realize that there is a ceiling to my talent. Right now I don't think there is, but if I don't do— but if it's not one of the greatest car chases of all time, then I failed, and I— there is a ceiling to my talent. I'm not as good as I thought I was. And I said that to everybody. And was I scared? Fuck yeah. All right? I had trepidation going all the way, because it's mine to fail. And it's failing in front of the mirror too, because I'll know if I did it or not. And I'll be like, OK, Evan, you are not as good as you thought you were. And that got me to Mount Everest.

It's true.

I remember at one point he goes, Robert, can you imagine you and me doing this car chase together, how great it's going to be?

And I'm like, hey, man, you're on your own, brother. I ain't going out there, man. I got 5 kids.

I'm not going to do no 100-mile-an-hour bullshit.

You want to live the vanishing point dream, buddy?

Live it.

And he did it all by himself, and I'm so fucking proud of him.

So thank you guys so much for watching. I'd love to know what was your favorite clip and why. What are you going to apply immediately somehow to help you fight the fears that are in front of you? Leave it down in the comments below. For me, it was Tony Robbins, the how tip number 1, the rocking chair test. It's still something that I use on a regular basis. Anytime that I am too afraid of something, I just make the future fear bigger, that fear of regret for decades looking back on my life, bigger than the immediate fear that I have right now. So that pain is just so large. So the pain of the immediate fear of your fingernails hurting, I punch myself in the arm with that bigger fear of regret. So that I don't feel this pain anymore because I have this huge pain here and it forces me to take immediate action. So that was my favorite clip. I'd love to know what was yours and why and how are you going to start making an immediate change in your life. Let me know, leave in the comments below. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I also want to give a quick shout out to Clyde Hayes. Clyde, thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word, and doing the Instagram post on it. Really appreciate the support, man, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the book. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love.

I'll see you soon.

I was reminded this morning of a question I'm often asked: how do you eliminate fear from your life? And you know, I don't think you ever do. I think you become courageous. You see, courageous people are not people without fear. Courageous people are people that face the things they fear. There's no courage without fear. Whenever you go to do something that you've never done before, fear is going to step in. Now, some people are afraid of flying. People are afraid of different things that can make them very, very uncomfortable. If they don't get over that fear, well— I was afraid of flying. One day I was flying somewhere, and I wasn't very comfortable. I was sitting on the plane. There was a guy sitting beside me. He was very laid back, reading, one leg up over the other, reading his newspaper. And we hit some rough weather. I'm going to tell you, it got turbulent. That plane was bouncing all over the place. This guy's there holding his paper, and he never, never skipped a breath. I was gripping onto the seats, and He just kept reading. When the flight finally smoothed out, I looked over at him, and I hadn't even spoken to him up until that point, and I said, "Pardon me, how come you weren't scared back there?" He smiled and he said, "Well," he said, "I fly these things. In fact, I train people to fly these things." I said, "You know, I can't understand why this plane doesn't fall right out of the sky." I mean, either Why doesn't it go straight down? He started to laugh and he said, "You can fly a rock if you've got enough thrust behind it." When he said that, I could see myself throwing a rock, and the rock was flying. You never think of a rock flying when you throw it, but the rock was flying. As long as there's thrust, the rock will fly. Then I got to thinking, there's millions of pounds of thrust in these big engines, And you know something? I've never been uncomfortable since. If we're afraid of something, it's because we don't understand it. Fear is caused by ignorance, the unknown. But when you understand it, you know, fear leaves. Go study the principle of flight. See how the air is wrapped around the wings. It's wrapped around the wings. It holds the plane up there. Don't permit fear to control your life. Absolutely refuse to. Someone said, "Fear knocked on the door, faith opened it, and lo, there was no one there." You see, you eliminate fear through intelligent action. Face the thing you fear and fear will leave you. I won't permit fear to control my life, not even for 5 minutes. I used to let I let fear control me all the time, almost all the time. Fear's caused by the unknown. If there's something you're afraid of, go study it, understand it, talk to someone who's a professional in that particular area. But for goodness' sake, don't let it control your life anymore. Think of the people that are afraid to go into their own business, they're afraid to move to the place they'd really like to go, they're afraid to ask the girl or the guy for a date. What are they doing? Their life is drying up, it's shrinking. We're only here for a short time. Make it a good time. Get rid of the fear. Face it.

Raise your standard.

Apple, at the core, its core value is that we believe that people with passion can change the world for the better. Not one drop of my self-worth depends on your acceptance of me.

I don't ever give up. I'd have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

Hey, Believe Nation, if you want to see my all-time favorite top 10 rules of success, I have a very special secret video for you. These are the individual clips that I have personally learned the most from and applied to my life and my business. Check the link in the description for details.