In this informal "stairwell rant," Evan Carmichael reflects on the habit of leading and ending conversations with complaints. He observes that many people, including himself, start interactions by venting about work, fatigue, or the environment, and he notes that successful individuals tend to avoid such negativity. Carmichael argues that complaining harms relationships—whether with friends, spouses, coworkers, or customers—by creating a negative first impression and leaving a poor final impression. He proposes a mindset shift: begin every interaction with a positive or grateful statement and conclude on a similarly uplifting note. To reinforce this, he issues a personal and audience challenge to go one week without leading or ending any conversation with a complaint, encouraging gratitude, perspective‑taking (recognizing that past generations faced harsher conditions), and a focus on appreciation for one’s current life. The video serves as both a critique of habitual complaining and a practical, week‑long behavioral experiment aimed at boosting positivity.
Chapters
Don't lead with a complaint. So I just finished filming my weekly videos at Toronto Dance Salsa, and the first guy who showed up was complaining. First thing out of his mouth is complaining about how much work he had, how busy he felt, how he wasn't sleeping. Next guy shows up, starts complaining about how hot it is in the studio because we We turn off the air conditioning so it doesn't make noise when we're filming. And, you know, in general, complaining is not a great thing. You know, and here I am complaining about complainers. You look at super successful people and they don't usually complain much, right? Like, they're not huge complainers. They have bad things happen to them, sure, maybe more than most of us, and they plow through and they accept responsibility and they do something about it. But they don't complain. I'm losing my breath as we go up the stairs here. Stairwell rant. And so I challenge them to say, "Listen, don't make your first interaction with somebody for the next week, don't make it a complaint." Like, don't be that person who's known as the guy or girl who's always complaining. "Like, how does that make people feel around you?" And the response was, "Well, Evan, I know you, you know, I've known you for a while. It's not like I'm talking to a customer." And for sure, like, if you're talking to a customer and the first thing out of your mouth is a complaint, man, like, you hate your life. There's a whole bunch of stuff you gotta fix there. But why is it that when you're dealing with your friends or people close to you that it's okay to lead with a complaint. How is that okay? And so I use the example, listen, if you're going home— take my shoe off— and you're meeting your wife, or your wife is coming home and she's meeting you, do you want the first thing out of your mouth to be a complaint? Do you want the first thing out of her mouth to be a complaint? Is that what you want to— like, that's the relationship that you want to have? Wouldn't it be better to say something like, "Hey, it's great to see you." I don't know, something, something more than just a complaint. To the people that you work with, to your boss if you have a job, how about you not be known as a person who just always is complaining but has something positive to say when they lead off? Just a mindset shift. And by the same token, I'd also say try to end not on a complaint. Like whatever the last interaction with you is, if you're hanging up a phone call, if you're, you know, leaving and saying goodbye in person, whatever it is, try to end on a positive note and definitely don't end on a complaint. Now I know life is not perfect. I know we all have stuff that's happening. I know it gets on our nerves. And yeah, in an ideal world, nobody's complaining and the super successful people don't complain. But I think your first step kind of towards that is for the next week. And I'm going to do this too. Like, I don't— I don't— I'm not sitting on some high rock and saying I have all the answers and I don't make any mistakes. Like, maybe I do some complaining when I first meet somebody, you know, especially the people close to me. So it's a challenge for me too. But, you know, my challenge for you is for the next week, try to go in to every single interaction with another human being and not lead with some kind of complaint. Right, if somebody asks you how your day is going and it may be the worst day you've ever had, still try to lead with something a little bit positive like, "I'm really glad to be seeing you here today." Something like, show a little bit of gratitude and appreciation because you know what? Like, as big as you think your problems are right now, your grandparents had it worse, your great-grandparents had it worse, There's a billion people in the world right now who would kill to have the life that you have right now and the problems that you have in your life right now. So stop complaining and definitely don't leave or end any conversation, any interaction with a complaint. That's your challenge, my challenge for the week. Stairwell rant over.
