Natalie Portman's Top 10 Rules for Success, Creativity, and Living a Meaningful Life

I definitely grew up being like, "I've got to get good grades, I've got to get a good job, I've got to get married at a certain point." I know if I'm not given sort of obstacles, I don't really— I get kind of lazy. I don't need to base my sense of self on what strangers' opinions of me are like.

Once your technique gets to a certain level, the only thing that separates you from others is your quirks or even flaws.

I think it's a really good tool too, just to learn something from everyone you work with.

She's an actress, film director, and producer, and carries dual American and Israeli citizenship. Her performance in Black Swan received widespread critical acclaim and won her her first Academy Award for Best Actress. She was cast as Padmé Amidala in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. She's Natalie Portman, and here's my take on her top 10 rules for success. My personal favorite is number 8, and make sure to stick around all the way to the end for some bonus footage.

It's very hard to separate the, you know, the things that other people want for you, the values that society tells you you're supposed to go after, and the things that are really meaningful for you, you know. I definitely grew up being like I've got to get good grades, I've got to get a good job, I've got to get married at a certain point, I've got to, you know, you feel like there's these things that you're supposed to do and that you have to do. And then it's an amazing shift. I'm sure many of you have gotten there, you know, or will get there if you haven't. But it's an amazing thing when one day you're just like, oh, this is what, is important for me, and I don't care what they say. I don't care why, um, you know, why other people think I'm doing it or not doing it. The rest is sort of ego, you know? Um, and, um, yeah. Can you name that moment when that happened? Um, I don't know. I think it really started happening when I was doing parts that required like a real sort of immersion for me, you know, working on things like Goya's Ghosts or V for Vendetta, the other Berlin Girl. I did so much sort of like, I got so into the characters and the stories and all the background research and really like living in it. And it made the outcome not important. When it did well, when it didn't do well, when it got positive feedback, when it didn't, it was like all that stuff sort of faded away 'cause I had this experience and the experience was like, oh, you can't take away from me the fact that I spent 2 months going to the Prado every day and living with the Goya and El Greco and Velázquez paintings. An experience forever that I will never remember, never forget. And the fact that, you know, 4 people saw the movie, of course, like, you know, obviously when you care about something, you want people to engage with it and it's important, but it wasn't devastating because I had something that was with me forever, you know? And so it changed the way I chose projects 'cause it wasn't about like, you know, it's the worst when people are like, oh, this is gonna be really popular. This is gonna be like an Oscar movie, and you're like, bad sign, bad sign, bad sign. Like, why is this meaningful for me at this point in my life that I wanna live this experience?

People told me that Black Swan was an artistic risk, a scary challenge to try to portray a professional ballet dancer, but it didn't feel like courage or daring that drew me to it. I was so oblivious to my own limits that I did things I was woefully unprepared to do. And so the very inexperience that in college had made me feel insecure and made me want to play by others' rules now was making me actually take risks I didn't even realize were risks. When Darren asked me if I could do ballet, I told him that I was basically a ballerina, which, by the way, I wholeheartedly believed. When it quickly became clear in preparing for the film that I was maybe 15 years away from being a ballerina, It made me work a million times harder, and of course the magic of cinema and body doubles helped the final effect. But the point is, if I had known my own limitations, I never would have taken the risk. And the risk led to one of my greatest artistic and personal experiences, in that I not only felt completely free, I also met my husband during filming.

And what compelled you to get involved in the project? I know it's kind of a hard question because it's probably so many different things, but when you think about projects that you get involved with, what are some of the key elements? Well, I think, you know, it can be really anything that gets you interested. I just always— I just want to make sure I'm going to be challenged the whole time because I know if I'm not given, like, sort of obstacles, I don't really— I get kind of lazy. I don't really engage in the way I want to. So if I know something's going to constantly be throwing challenges at me. Not in like— I want to have fun, you know, that I always want to enjoy what I'm doing. But, um, something that is going to be, um— that's part of the fun, I think, is getting all the, you know, the challenges of it.

Do you read criticism of yourself?

No, I used to. I used to, and then I realized, um, it wasn't helpful. Positive or negative? It's just a distraction? Yeah, I can't— I don't look at anything anymore that's written, whether it's interviews or— I mean, it's also just too much focus on yourself. It's like, I am far from the center of the world, and I don't need to— I need to read about other things. There's a lot of really good things to read about, and I know about myself. And if someone makes a mistake about me, I'm just going to get upset. Or if they say something negative, I'm gonna get upset. And if they say something nice, that's friendly, but I also don't need to care. Like, I don't need to base my sense of self on what strangers' opinions of me are like. It's important to me that my friends and my family, you know, think that I'm behaving correctly, and they'll let me know if I'm out of line. And everyone else's opinions, like, You know, it's not my business.

By the time I got to making Black Swan, the experience was entirely my own. I felt immune to the worst things anyone could say or write about me, and to whether an audience felt like going to see my movie or not. It was instructive for me to see that ballet dancers— for ballet dancers, once your technique gets to a certain level, the only thing that separates you from others is your quirks. Or even flaws. One ballerina was famous for how she turned slightly off balance. You can never be the best technically. Someone will always have a higher jump or a more beautiful line. The only thing you can be the best at is developing your own self.

Writing, I, I, I think everyone probably has a different process, but my sort of experience is that I have an idea for a story in my head for a very, very long time and little things sort of glom onto it. I don't write any notes or anything down. And then after a couple years, it sort of just comes out in one spurt. It just sort of molds itself in my head and then just comes out. And so that is what happened with both occasions, and then once I get my first draft out, I send it out to like 10 people I trust, which I know a lot of writers don't do. This is not a normal process. A lot of people really tinker with it a lot, but I sort of do my like this crazy first draft and then get people's feedback and then start doing all this very, very sort of detailed work. Using the feedback and then it sort of inspires me to— because it gives me a weird kind of perspective that I don't have because I think this story is in my brain so long that, you know, you get too close to it. Amazing thing about Darren is that I feel like the, you know, there's not the ego that like, that just doesn't— there's some people who just they're like, "I'm the boss. I'm gonna, like, make the rules." He asked questions, he listened, and took ideas when they were good, and when they weren't good, he's like, "That's not a good idea," and he just wouldn't do it. And that's fine. You know, that's always what you're doing as a cast or crew member is, like, you know, you bring your ideas, and if they're right, great, and if they're not, not. I've definitely worked with people who are like, don't want to hear anything. They're like, "That's stupid." It's not your job, like, just go do what I tell you to do, you know, which makes it less interesting, of course. And then, of course, there's people who, like, listen too much, and then they water down their own vision, which, of course, is not a problem for Darren. But that's the joy also. That was something I learned when I was directing too, to just, like, have an open ear and use people's best suggestions. You have, like, 100 people who are there for you. To help you create your vision, and sometimes they have a good idea.

What do you want from a director?

I really—

I love feedback. I mean, I think part of my, like, you know, I like— I just— I think artistic honesty is the key. And I mean, Darren is exactly that, you know. He'll tell you when it's not going well, and he'll tell you when it's going well. And you can trust that it's going well when he says it is, because he'll tell you if it's not. And he always had you know, a million different ideas for every scene, was always on top of it, and then, at the end, would always say, "Do this one for yourself, the last one. Do it for yourself," which was just exactly the key to the character, because it was what Vincent says to— you know, Vincent's character says to my character, which is, "Find your own pleasure," which is at the root of being an artist, which Darren handed to me. "Find your own pleasure." "Find your own pleasure." Because you're trying to— so often, as an actor, you're pleasing your director. It's like, You know, the kids at the pageants at the end when they like look at their mom right after they finish doing their song. Sometimes you're like that as an actor. You finish the scene, you're like, how was it? You know? And when they're saying, just do it for yourself, it's a whole new world opens. And Darren gave that to me because directors often say like, do a freebie or a free one. But just putting those words, articulating it in that particular way, do it for yourself. Yeah, I think it's really I just, I think it's a really good tool too, just to learn something from everyone you work with, you know, like every person you work with, steal from them, you know. Yeah, I mean, stealing, I think stealing from people when you're acting is really easy because it's always going to be funneled through you, so no, it's, it's not It's not plagiarism in any— you know, no one will ever know unless you're really, really good.

At the risk of sounding like a Miss America contestant, the most fulfilling things I've experienced have truly been the human interactions. Spending time with women in village banks in Mexico with Finca, a microfinance organization. Meeting young women who were the first and only in their communities to attend secondary school in rural Kenya with Free the Children, a group that builds sustainable schools in developing countries, trekking with gorilla conservationists in Rwanda. It's a cliché because it's true that helping others ends up helping you more than anyone. Getting out of your own concerns and caring about someone else's life for a while reminds you that you are not the center of the universe and that in the ways we are generous or not, we can change the course of someone's life. Even at work, the small feats of kindness crew members, directors, fellow actors have shown me have had the most lasting impact.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I made this video because you guys asked me to. So if there's a famous entrepreneur that you want me to profile next, leave in the comments below and I'll see what I can do. I'd also love to know which of Natalie Portman's top 10 rules had the biggest impact on you. How did it move you? How did it change your mindset? Leave it in the comments below and I will Join in the discussion. Thank you so much for watching. Continue to believe, and I'll see you soon.

I think it's always really helpful to just incorporate anything that's happening in life into your, into your work. Obviously in a way that makes sense, but, but, you know, I think acknowledging it and and sort of threading it into what you're doing is always helpful.

As we get older, we get more realistic, and that gets— and that includes about our own abilities or lack thereof. And that realism does us no favors. People always talk about diving into things you're afraid of. That never worked for me. If I'm afraid, I run away, and I would probably urge my child to do the same. Fear protects us. In many ways. What has served me is diving into my own obliviousness, being more confident than I should be, which everyone tends to decry in American kids and those of us who have been grade inflated and ego inflated. Well, it can be a good thing if it makes you try things you never might have tried. Your inexperience is an asset and will allow you to think in original, unconventional ways. Accept your lack of knowledge and use it as your asset. I know a famous violinist who told me that he can't compose because he knows too many pieces, so when he starts thinking of a note, an existing piece immediately comes to mind. Just starting out, one of your biggest strengths is not knowing how things are supposed to be. You can compose freely because your mind isn't cluttered with too many pieces, and you don't take for granted the way things are. The only way you know how to do things is your own way.

What's your ambition now?

I think to get back to enjoying not working. I've been working so much, and I think I've gotten into a sort of, yeah, workaholism that is unhealthy. So I'm learning to enjoy my life without having to be busy all the time.