Escaping The Comparison Trap as a Business Owner & Coach

So the comparison trap. Oh my goodness, the comparison trap. Challenge. Boy, is this a. This is a tough one. Really interesting. Especially again with the times that we live in today. There are millionaires popping up more than ever before, faster than ever before. And it would seem like there are some standards, some social standards out there that one must do when they become a millionaire or when you make your first million. By the way, let's define what a millionaire actually is, okay? I think a lot of people mess this up. There are net worth millionaires and there are revenue millionaires, okay? There, that is a vast difference. Okay? If you're a revenue millionaire, that means that you do over a million dollars in revenue per year, that makes you a millionaire, okay? Any one of these other gurus that call themselves a millionaire that hasn't done that and they're calling themselves a multi millionaire, okay, that's an issue, okay? And I'm gonna call myself out just for doing this. Like, technically, I'm not a multi millionaire, nor am I a millionaire in the revenue sense, right? I'm a net worth millionaire. That means I've accumulated over a million dollars in net worth. And then there's like an in between, okay, the in between is the person that has done over a million dollars in revenue, but over what stretch or period of time? So for example, for me, 28 years old now, I started my financial coaching practice and YouTube channel back in 2018. So I've been six years at it. And over those six years, I've generated over $2 million in revenue. Okay? So I'm like in the middle where it's like I have a net worth over a million dollars. When you add up all my assets minus liabilities, over a million dollars plus, then I've done over a million dollars in revenue, but I have not reached a million dollars per year revenue. Okay? So just so that we clear that stuff out and that helps you, the viewer that are not there yet, who you get your advice from, right? Who you decide to listen to. And that may not be the only standard or metric of measuring who you listen to, because there is wisdom in the single dad out there with four kids that's never made over $100,000. There's plenty of wisdom for the single mom out there, even my own mom that's never made over 100 plus thousand in her life in any given year. But she has a ton of wisdom. But again, I'm not going to her for necessarily business advice. Anyways, with that being said, this comparison trap, this is where we get into the weeds of it. I think it's helpful that I share with you that context of these different types of gurus, these different types of influencers that have different types of money. Okay. When you make your first million dollars, it would seem like you need to, I don't know, buy the G Wagon or buy the Range Rover because it's over £6,000 and you get the tax deduction. And we're seeing gurus put this out without any standard of how much money should I be making before I buy the G Wagon, before I buy the Range Rover. One person I want to use as an example is my good business partner, Alex Alberan, who is someone that is a millionaire. Okay? He's done over a million dollars in a year, right? And the guy has been in business for multiple years. So he's net worth millionaire. He's accumulated over a million plus in revenue in his stretch of time in business. And he is doing over a million dollars in revenue per year and is on track to do multiple millions of dollars if he hasn't already done that already by the time this video comes out or by the time I'm recording this. So I want to use him as an example. This is a guy most people won't know this where his journey started in high school. He's now 26, I believe he's like two years younger than me. And so the guy has been on his journey for over a decade. This is a guy that sold his car to start his business. This is a guy that would go to Starbucks and save the cup to do refill so he didn't have to pay another $5, $6 for a cup of coffee. This is a guy that would do his meetings at Starbucks, would Uber to and from, and use Starbucks as his office. This is a guy that did not wear fancy clothes, that did not do any of these different things for we're talking a consistency. I've only known him for six years and in those six years I've known him to be a very frugal, mindful manager over his resources and money. It wasn't only, it wasn't until the last six, fifth year of our relationship that he bought a G Wagon, a Rolls Royce, a house, and started making these big, large item purchases. So when, when we watch people like Alex and others who have success, what we're missing, what we're not seeing is the pain, the suffering, the toiling, the hard work, the no's, the rejections, all these different things. For now, finally for him, him or her to get to that point. And now they're sharing with you the Ferrari, the, the Lamborghini, the big house that they're now in. And now you're watching this video. Maybe you're a multiple six figure earner like myself, maybe you're a low six figure earner, a high five figure earner, and maybe you had a big year, $300,000 a year, a half a million dollar year, a $900,000 year. Maybe you're having a really good year and you're surrounding yourself, which is good, with other people who are making multiple millions of dollars and they're driving nice fancy cars and they got nice big homes and trust me, it can be intimidating because now the alpha's got to come out, right? And you've got to now buy yourself the house, you have to buy the car, get the deduction and do the cost segregation and do all these different things to multiply your money and keep growing. But here's the thing. Once you buy those expensive cars, my friend, you have now set a new standard. A new standard of excellence, a new standard of maintenance, a new standard of living that will increase all of your costs, personal and business. So to avoid falling into these comparison traps, I'm going to keep referring back to my number one rule in life, which is seek the kingdom and find your who. When you seek the kingdom first and you find your who mentors people that will not convince, persuade or sell you into or out of anything, they're going to help you process decisions, they're going to coach you through these decisions. When you're able to find an Alex in your life that doesn't pressure you to buy things, right, to invest in things just because they did, but rather they encourage you to elevate your game to get to the next level, that's your who that you want to look for. Someone that's not going to say, hey man, I'm on the way to the Bentley dealership, the Rolls Royce, do you want to come with me? And we buy a pair together? Hey, I'm looking at these million dollar homes on the coast. Do you want to come with me? And they sort of bragly, you know, braggadociously, if that's even a word, share all their success with you, right? Or even people that you love on social media that you follow, where maybe you've been following for three, four years and they've helped you start a business and their trajectory has been like this and yours has been like this. And one day they start posting their pictures on different ends of the earth, all the different vacations they're going on, the expensive cars they're driving and the expensive house and the expensive food that they buy and the clothes and the Gucci and the Prada and the Ferragamo, right? And all this different, all these things. And you're like, hold on, I need to go do this now because that's my guru, that's my influencer. That person changed my life by me getting those things that's going to force me to now do more activity, make more money and ultimately live the lifestyle that I want. It's like, well, hold on, you're now comparing yourself to your favorite guru, to your favorite influencer, to your favorite mentor or coach. That's their life. Is it yours? Is it truly your desire to live that rich lifestyle? Is that truly what it is like? You need to ask yourself, be totally honest, look yourself in the mirror. Take everyone out of the equation. Do I want these material things? Do I actually desire them? Or am I being persuaded, convinced, sold into getting these things because it'll display a certain image or status of which will get me more higher end clients? I can tell you, me personally, I've gone through this process of comparing myself to successful people, even close friends of mine, even like a close business partner like my, in my example, like, like Alex, right? Just being totally authentic and understanding that, oh, wait a minute, that's my buddy's life and this is my other buddy's life and this is my business partner's life and this is my other business partner's life and this is my other fellow content creators that I hang out with and spend time with. Finance geek Denzel Napoleon Rodriguez. I'm not that guy. I'm a guy that loves to wear shorts and a gym shirt, right? Shorts and a plain tee. Plain gym shorts slides Nike slides Nike down, right? Like I'm a simple guy. I don't need to wear these expensive clothes. Now on the other hand, one thing I do absolutely desire is to make people laugh, right? Bring joy into their lives. And I also like to perform. What do I mean by that when I say perform? I love to put on a show for my clients in a way that dramatically changes their life. I think about Circus Soleil, which is this show that this big group of people that they put on, they put on this amazing, incredible, life changing, life taking, breathtaking performance. I'm telling you, if you've ever been to Circus Olay, comment below, it's incredible. If you've never gone, put that on your list I encourage you from the perspective of being able to see someone operate at their their peak, highest, best performance. I like to bring the Circus Soleil model into my financial coaching practice. How can I show up for my clients in the most powerful, impactful way? How can I put on a show for them, entertain them, inspire them, encourage them? These are not bad things. The difference between living the lavish lifestyle and experiencing it. Oh, two vastly different things, right? So for the person that owns a Lamborghini versus someone like me that would just like to drive it a couple times out of the year, nothing crazy. So either I have two options. Either I buy one and rent it out and create an asset over it. I could find a who that has a Lamborghini and just spend time with them and hang out with them and be a passenger princess or passenger prince, right? That would bring joy to me, knowing someone that has those things. I don't necessarily desire those things, but I would like to experience those things, right? So you have to look yourself dead in the mirror and ask yourself, are these things I actually want, or do I want to maybe experience it once or two times a year, Nothing crazy. And then we allocate the budget. You get on a call with your boy, and we map that out together. We map out the finances that make sense and to live that lifestyle, right? This home that I live in, right, this was something well thought out for me, for my family, for my fiance. Well thought out, well planned, well managed, and I absolutely enjoy. And I don't compare myself to someone that else that maybe makes around what I make or they make more than what I make, and I find them to be influential in my life, not trying to go buy another home right away. I'm on my own journey, I'm in my own path, and I'm living a rich, intentional life. In fact, there's many people that are living a fake rich life and don't even realize it, no matter how much money you make. I know clients that are making 70, 80, 90, 100, 150 grand a year that have a house as expensive as mine. They have cars more expensive than mine, they have clothes more expensive than me. And I'm like, how are you doing this? This is insane. Living a fake rich life rather than a rich, intentional life. You can live rich now no matter how much money you make just by being intentional with the type of foods you put in your body, the type of clothes you wear, the type of people you hang out with, the type of books you read, the type of ch that you watch Being intentional is a pathway to being and or becoming rich, staying rich, and perpetuating richness. Right. This is impactful stuff. So again, avoiding comparing yourself to others. Seek the kingdom first. Find a who literally take time. Almost like putting together a vision board. What I do with my clients is we literally map out their financial freedom lifestyle. How many times you want to go get your nails done, feet done, hair done, right. The facials, the massages, the chiropractor, the high end foods, the vacations, the home, the boat, the cars, how many cars, how many boats? Like we just literally map it all out and we come out to a number. Something that was quite interesting. I was actually doing this exercise with a client, a mom in her late 50s, and we put together her whole financial freedom lifestyle. It involved having a private driver that would drive her around. It involved going on multiple vacations per year. It involved having a certain kind of, oh a, a private chef to prep all her meals. Right. And we also added in all her needs and living expenses and just the things that we often do. And we tallied up the numbers all together and come to find out it only cost 20 grand a month to live that life. 20,000. 20, 21,000amonth to live her financial freedom lifestyle that we mapped out with clear positive confidence. Over that, clear. It was positive, it was confident, it was joyful, it bring joy, it brought peace, it brought happiness, it brought love to her eyes. It was amazing. And we were like, wow, it's only 20, 21 grand a month to live this way. And the gap between where we want to go and where she's at, we were like 50% of the way there already. And she needed to know why. Because we're comparing ourselves to these other lifestyles and we're thinking we need to make millions and millions of dollars to live that rich, intentional life that we ultimately want to live. For me, my financial freedom lifestyle will cost in the neighborhood roughly 200,000amonth, right? So it's a couple million dollars a year. Very intentional, right? And the reason why I mapped that out, I'm 28 years old now, so when you factor in inflation and taxes and all this stuff and the devaluation of dollar and all this and whatnot, that's where that number ended up being somewhere around 200k a month. Financial independence though, for me is only 20, 22 plus thousand a month, meaning my current lifestyle today, the way I currently live and operate today, which I'm in contentment for, grateful for, happy for, if you kept if, if my father in heaven kept me here. I'll be fine. I'm going to be more happy no matter what. If I have more things or less things, no things in between things. I'm going to be happy no matter what because of the conviction and the faith that I have internally and the mindset, the abundance that I have is what it is. But now that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop or reduce because of that contentment. I'm going to keep working to operating at my highest level because I don't know what my father in heaven has for me. There's things that he lets me know and there's things that I don't know that leads to a mystery and that's awesome in life. And I'm okay with that, right? So when I look at financial independence, it's another way that I reduce. The comparison trap that people face is we need to look at what does it cost to live your lifestyle today and how much guaranteed passive income can we create to supply that lifestyle for life? That would be financial independence and then anything above that. The gap between financial independence and financial freedom is ultimately a lifestyle that you want to live intentionally. That may include having multiple boats, multiple cars, multiple homes, multiple vacations, whatever. It may be expensive clothes, not so expensive clothes. You just literally map all that out, see what the number comes out to. Shoot, it might be right close to your financial independence number. It might only be five, ten grand away. And so when we can cater your business, when we can cater how you serve people, how you show up to match that lifestyle that you ultimately desire, that avoids you, comparing yourself to what the other guru, what the other business people, what the other people in your industry are doing. And it literally is you versus you in your own race, in your own life. And with that, I hope you take this, jot down the notes, key takeaways, figure out your financial independence number, figure out your financial freedom number, literally dollar costs. Map out what does it cost to live that lifestyle that you truly desire, not what you see online. What do you truly desire? This will give you a framework to avoid the comparison trap that can lead you in pain, suffering, sorrow, turmoil, identity crisis as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, just gonna get to avoid all that. It's just you versus you. You're in your own race, so have fun.