#421 Self-Love Extravaganza

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your Flow does.

It gives you a feeling of power.

Again in your lives.

Oh my God. You are so on target.

You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough.

Breathe. It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. And you know that feeling when you touch it, it just spreads through you. Thank you for taking my call.

I don't know why I feel like crying.

I think I just feel your love. Of course. And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS.

I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming.

Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hel. Hi everyone. I'm so happy to be here, as I always am. It's my favorite hour of the week and this week especially. Oh, we get to talk about self love. Self love extravaganza. Just kind of throwing this one in here in the midst of all these, you know, multiple part podcasts that I've been doing lately. I was talking about me school there for a while. Before that I did the lack cycle. Just a quick update on me school. It is getting very close to closing at this point. It is just about filled to capacity. If you have an interest, be sure to contact me asap like this week, next week at the latest. And you can do that by going to my website@flowdreaming.com. you'll see a place there where you can get a hold of me. We could do a little talk together and see if you're ready and ripe for it. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, well, this podcast is underwritten by Flow dreaming dot com. That's my website and that's where I put lots and lots of stuff for you, including free material on how to learn how to Flow dream, how to do it, as well as all the different things you can use it for. I have a blog there with lots of articles. I also have a fabulous store if I do say so myself. It is fabulous because I have packed it full over the last, say five years or so with so many Flow Dreams for you to pick from. And I've even started creating playlists of flow dreams around certain topics. Now what a Flow Dream is is it is a special. It's not a meditation it's more like an active energy technique. An active energy experience where you create this intense emotional connection with flow, with universe, with God, whatever you want to call things. And it helps you create and manifest in a very intense and very real way. What you are experiencing is what is literally actually for real, really being created in the energy structure of you. Now, you've always heard thoughts are things you've always heard you are what you think. Well, what happens if you are thinking, feeling, broadcasting, creating, summoning, becoming, expressing, however you want to put it, Whatever your manifesting desire is, in an intense 10, 15 minutes, you accumulate a big energy portion, I guess you could say energy portion. It's like I'm describing a dinner size here. But of those things that you want to create in your life, that's what flow dreams do. They create for you. You create with them, you make stuff together. And I have a whole store on tons of different topics now. Some people are loving that, and some people love that and have decided to go a little past that into what I call me school. It is a year long program where I teach you not just how to flow dream, but how to reach levels inside yourself you never dreamed possible. These levels include your highest ability to manifest. Wouldn't you like to know if you could truly shape and guide your life and you knew what restrictions were on you, you knew what areas of yourself were being held back. Wouldn't you like to know and move past those? What do you think that would do for manifesting? It takes you from the level of just asking for things that you want next to truly having a vision for your life, an understanding of who you are, where you're going, what makes you tick, what you need to create next to create your ongoing happiness and joy. That's part of MI school. The other part of MI school is opening to your empathic intuition. Being able to make decisions very quickly and easily. Because you're following your gut, you're following your flow. You know, you don't have to wait for the universe to give you more information. The universe has already given it to you. When you are empathically, intuitively connected, you know so much. And yes, it does encompass things like reading other people's minds, reading workplaces, reading situations, looking into the future, looking into the past. You can use your intuition in any way you want. And that's another thing we teach in depth in MI school. So if those things sound like whoo, that just tickles my fancy, go check it out@flowdreaming.com also check out that Manifesting store. All right, so let's move forward with today's episode in today's topic, which is absolute gorgeous self love and what it feels like to acknowledge yourself on that deep, deep level. That's what it is. You know, people talk about gratitude all the time, how gratitude brings you out of yourself, reminds you of what you have, how gratitude is a strong generative force, a manifesting force. Because when you're grateful for something, you're actually acknowledging that you have received it. So you're not hoping. When you're in a state of gratitude, it's the opposite. Gratitude is more like a thank you. I have already received this. I am grateful for it. So gratitude acts both to create for you, but it also acts to respect the giver, respect the force of energy, respect the people that brought you this into your life or that engaged with you to create this. I think that's why it's one of the most powerful manifesting emotions you can use. And if you've known me at all, you know, I talk a lot about different kinds of manifesting emotions. Every emotion you have is used to manifest in a different way for a different purpose. I think I've cataloged a couple hundred different emotions at this point. You can find all of them, actually, in my book. Creative flow, dreaming, and what their purposes are, what they're most useful for. Well, when you get into the self, love, emotion, what you're discovering there is that it's not something that just strengthens you and heals you. It actually allows you to, I don't know, go into places in yourself you've never been before. See, as long as you're hauling around these feelings of regret, of guilt, of feeling not good enough, a feeling that someone else deserves it more than you do, right? Imagine this. You're like a kid hauling along a bunch of bricks tied to strings. You can't run. You can't run when you're hauling that load along behind you. Yet when you release that load, when you recognize it's unnecessary in your life, then you can run, you can be free, you can move into the next space. And some people laugh at our kind of world. They say mind, body, spirit is all a bunch of me, me, me people. No, I don't see it that way at all. I think the more people who walk around healed, aware of who they are, aware of their own internal value, their intrinsic worth, really, the kinder we are to other people, the gentler we are with other people, we stop needing to prove things, we stop acting out of Fear. We stop acting out of anger. We stop acting out of envy. Because we're full inside. We're consciously loving ourselves. We don't need to grab that from other people. We don't need them to love us. We don't need to twist ourselves into pretzels to get them to love us. All of those behaviors just melt away. If everyone you knew, just think for a moment, we're filled with our own internal self love. Can you imagine how kind a place this would be? How gentle of a planet it would be? We would not be competing with each other. We'd be competing with ourselves. What can we grow to? What can we discover? What can we experience? Who do we need to team up with to experience that too? Everything would shift based on this one ideal. Some of you guys remember when I used to work at Hay House years back, and Louise Hay was my boss, and she. She'd always be coming through the office checking on, how's everybody doing today? How are things? And you know, that was what she created. That was her seed that she put into the world, this seed of how to love yourself. And that it's okay to love yourself. And since then, you know a lot of other wonderful teachers and well before her. All I gotta say, if you go to Florence Scovelshin, you go back, you find a lot of people who've talked about this. There's always been teachers that I guess continually progress this concept as it should be. You know, nothing is ever discovered just once. Rather, it is adapted to the time that we live in. And someone else, no doubt, is coming up, even right now, probably to again show us what self love truly means. You know, what the next level of it is. So I'll tell you. For me, self love plays out like when I'm in a state where I feel that I deserve. When I'm in a state where I can accept all of the not so great parts of myself. I know they're there, I accept them. But it doesn't make any difference to the degree that I love myself. It's more like looking at your child and realizing, gosh, my child really has a temper issue, but you still love that child up and down to pieces. Doesn't matter. You acknowledge there's something in them that's maybe a weak spot or something that needs improvement, does not change the degree that you love them. That's how I feel about myself. Yes, There are things that I am happy to look at that are needing to be healed in me. There are things that I recognize still run My thoughts that I don't want to. There are all kinds of things, behaviors, things I've done to people that I care about. All of that, it's in me. But I love myself no matter what. And if someone says to me, should it be you or should it be someone else who receives something wonderful, My reaction is, well, give it to whomever it's most aligned to. You know, I don't need to be envious and try and grab it for myself. I don't need to be jealous if someone else gets it. Yet at the same time, I'm not going to give it to someone else because I don't feel ready for it. Because some perception in me says, oh, they're better than me, or they need it more, they worked harder or they struggled more. Right? All those things you say to yourself, you think you're being generous. Do you know what generosity often is? It's a mask for a lack of love internally. Be careful with your generosity. What are you getting from it? Are you giving something to someone else because you want them to think or feel a certain way about you? Generosity. Oh boy, that just made me think. I could go off on a tangent there. Not to say though, that generosity isn't also beautiful. Generosity when it's selfless. But you can only give selflessly when you are full of self love. Full of self love. So when I receive something, I say, yes, this must be aligned to me. Yes, this must be mine. Yes, it must be my turn to receive this. It's my duty to receive this. It's my job to receive this. It must mean that at some point I created this, I allowed this to come to me. I better receive it. I better get good at receiving it. If I don't receive it, I might be doing a disservice to someone down the line because I won't have received something that made me better or happier or grew me some rewarded me. And maybe I'm going to need that extra level of something or other to help the next person I come encounter income and come into come that I encounter. So I mean, I could go on and on about why you need to love yourself, but the fact is many of us still feel that there are parts of us that are just too broken, you know, too broken, too negative, too contained. I was working with a client earlier, a friend earlier today, and we were talking about the way she contains herself every time she holds back, every time she feels guilty, every time she feels not deserving, said, these are self love. This goes back to self Love, you know, you can't indulge in that anymore. You're indulging in it. Think of it that way. Think of it that every time you say, well, there's something negative going on, something that I'm not good enough for, that's an indulging. That's indulging in a smaller you. A smaller you. You don't need to do that. You can step into the bigger you. Even though it feels a little wobbly and uncomfortable and scary. You can allow someone to say, I love you, or I disagree with you, or you've changed me or anything along those lines. I'm reminded right now of a podcast I did many years ago and in the Flow dream I did. Maybe I'll do that again. This time I was sharing with everyone this idea that, you know, we're all a part of God, right? We're all a part of Source Energy. Source didn't make us from materials other than itself. Meaning you are literally a piece of God's energy. You are a part of Sources Energy. And so if you say that's not worth loving, it's like saying to God, you're not worth loving. So reframe this. You are worth loving. You should be loved. You should be acknowledged. You should be doing this with yourself, feeling this about yourself. Separate those feelings you have about where you're not good enough, where you feel guilty, where you've been dumped, where you've been disillusioned, where someone has hurt you. Separate that. Those are just experiences that you've had. Those are experiences that were given to you to learn and grow from. That's all. All they are. Does nothing to change the fundamental of who you are. You are a piece of Source Energy. You are a diamond. You're a diamond. You're strong. You're powerful. Do you think God made all of these weak little things? Why? Why would Source do that? Why would Source create a bunch of messed up children? It didn't. So stop thinking of yourself that way. God does not think of you that way. Source does not think of you that way. Flow does not think of you that way. God made you whole and perfect. God gave you the ability to choose Source. Flow gave you the ability to have experiences, to explore. Yeah, just like your kid who lies to you for the first time and you say, whoa, where did that come from? So you have also done crummy things as you've gone through your experiences. That's because that's what we do. It's what our kids do. We all do things we're exploring, we do some things and we realize, ew, that was yucky. I don't think I like that. We do some things and we go, ooh, that gave me power. I think I'll do more of that. And then one day we wake up and go, ooh, not the right kind of power. We do all kinds of things as we explore, but eventually we all get back to that knowing. You can't help but get back to that knowing of who you truly are and what you truly are. All that we're going through in this life is just an excursion into different kinds of experiences to give us these temporary senses of who we are. Temporary. We're just exploring. And yes, at the end of the day, it's all going to add up and we're going to say, oh, look what I became as a result of this life. Look what was added onto me. Me, this great ancient consciousness. Look what I added to it. I added all of these experiences. Now, that's where accountability comes in, because that's where you want to say. And the experiences were what I wanted. They were filled with love and beauty and yes, some were filled with heartbreak. But eventually I wised up and I realized I don't need to go there. I don't need that suffering. I can do things and feel things and experience things, but I don't need to keep the suffering all the time. I don't need to create it. I don't need to experience it. I can choose other. That's growth. That's what I want to end up with at the end of my life. A sense that I gradually became aware of. How not to choose suffering, how instead to choose flow, how to choose alignment, how to choose growth, how to choose ever increasing joy for myself and everyone. You know why I can do that? Because I love myself. I absolutely love myself. I can say this. You feel how? Easy, like, just listen. When I say that I love myself, it comes out so easily. It should come out that easily for you, too. And if it doesn't, just say it. Say it to yourself. Now. If it doesn't just flow out of you, if you don't know that up, down and backwards, the next question then is, oh, what part of me objected to that? What part of me couldn't quite accept that? I'm curious. Who are you? Come on, show yourself. Come on out. I'm not gonna bite, right? And then engage with that part of you. Find out what it has to say, Find out what it learned all these years, that is protesting and trying to tell you something opposite and then remind it. I see your perspective. I understand your experiences. But you know what? You're part of Source energy. I am me. The great all of me, all parts of my personality. I'm made of God's energy. I'll return to God's energy. What part of you isn't to be loved? What part of you? Right, Unravel that. If you unravel that. If that's the only thing you do in your entire life, you should be filled with joy. Everything else is just a cherry on the cake. Everything. I am checking the time. Oh my gosh. Boy, I really got on a roll there. I completely blew past my break as usual. So I better go. I'll be right back. We're gonna go to a quick break. Do stay with me. It's very brief. When we get back, let's do a flow dream to really get that concept inside of ourselves. Deep, delicious, juicy love. You are lovable. You are wanted. You are loved. And then I'll take your calls. I'm Summer Mickstravik, so stay with me for more flow dreaming.

Hey, we're on break for just a minute so I can tell you about something extraordinary that I'm doing for the very first time in a couple of months. I'm hosting a live event in San Diego, California. It's called In Flow.

Get it? Inflow. Inflow.

You can play with that. It's a three day immersion into your flow filled life. These are three powerful days with me live. We'll be doing tons of processes to align you fully into your dreams. Your manifesting your life. And I'm inviting you to come meet me. Come in from wherever you are in the world.

Just be there.

Go into flow with me. We're so powerful as a group. If you have been listening to this podcast for months or maybe even years, you already have a sense of the power of flow dreaming. It's powerful, powerful, powerful. It's an amazing way to get your year going right. This is happening in February. It's just past January. You're looking ahead.

You're starting to think, what am I going to do this year? Am I actually making those changes as I want?

Am I feeling aligned or am I feeling in stress? Come to Inflow. Get it worked out. It's happening over President's Day weekend here in the us A nice long weekend.

If you want to sign up or.

Even just learn more, go to my website, it's flow dreaming.com. or get on my mailing list and I'll be Sending you information. I encourage you to get your tickets very quickly. They will sell out. I'm convinced of that.

There are a limited number of VIP.

Tickets available, so check it out.

I can't wait to see you and.

And perhaps even meet you for the very first time. I'll see you all at Inflow.

You're listening to Flow Dreaming with your host, Summer McStrav. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. We are going to go into the flow right now to create and bring forward that feeling in us of total self love. Right? So this is perfect for you right now. If you've been having one of those weeks filled with self doubt, filled with guilt, filled with a sense of, am I good enough? Am I good enough? Right. That's a self love issue. Am I good enough? Why wouldn't you be good enough? Yeah, everybody's going to get better. You'll get better your whole life. So when you say, am I good enough? What does that really mean? Of course you're good enough. Why do you need to get better before you choose to? X, Y, Z, Just choose. Choose to do whatever it is choose to have, choose to be. Choose that relationship now. You don't have to wait to get good enough. When you say that to yourself, what you're saying is, I can't move forward. I refuse to move forward. I refuse. In fact, that's the more empowering way of saying it. I can't suggest that there's something else preventing you. I refuse to move forward. Really hits home. I refuse to move forward because I'm not good enough. Ouch. Do you feel how like that falls like rocks in your stomach yet? What are you thinking in your life that that's applying to? I bet you can find a couple of things, huh? And what are those things attached to ultimately? Self love, not self confidence. Don't confuse them. Self love confidence comes after you have love Confidence is just there. You can't create it. First love comes first. Confidence springs from that. You're good enough. Okay, we're going to flow dream. And a flow dream is not a meditation. It's different. You're going to become very actively emotionally engaged with what I call flow. The way we get in is through what I call a guided daydream. Meaning let your imagination go. Let yourself get into that place where you lose track of time. You forget what you're doing. Just like when you're daydreaming, you wake up and go, oh, where have I been for the last five minutes? Oh, how did I pull up into my driveway? I Don't remember doing that. That's the kind of daydream you let yourself get into it. And at first, yeah, it feels forced because you recognize, hey, I'm doing this. I'm making this up. I'm creating it. But as you let go, it becomes where you are. And you forget. That's now entering a state of flow, a state of pure consciousness, a state of connection, of connectivity. Now, flow is the bigger current of you and your life. And don't ever forget, you're in this current every day you wake up, you've moved forward one notch in the current of your life. And there'll be a tomorrow and the next day and the next. And don't be thinking, oh, it's just when you're living, when you die, it's different. No, even when you're dead, you're still moving forward in your flow. You're still somehow evolving. Of that I'm sure. Although I couldn't say how. But we are. We're expanding. We're always expanding. Source, I believe, is still continuously expanding. I don't know how, but it's continuously gaining information, gaining experience, gaining self awareness. And you are part of that. It's your job to do that. So as your eyes are closed, you're letting yourself relax. You're letting your shoulders drop. Your breathing is nice and deep and easy. Your throat is open, your jaw is dropping, releasing between your brow, your eyes, all parts of you now just feeling comfortable, settled and relaxed. You are entering flow. You're entering something deep. Right there in the fabric of time and reality. Do you see it? Like a sparkling cloth of light flying across the universe. It is the universe, as far as you can see. Like someone has spread a blanket filled with diamonds and rocks. Light. You can walk along this blanket. You look down, there's more of that blanket. You look up, more of the blanket. It's white and it's pure. And yet it contains every color within it. A translucence, an opalescence. It's beautiful. And you glide in this place. You walk in this place. You just gently move forward in this place, however you wish. You can run your fingers through the air and it's like little bits of light catch on the tips of them, like glitter sticking to you. You're going deep into the place behind everything, behind our world, behind all worlds. Going deep into the place where everything is constructed, where it springs into being past the atomic structure, even deeper into the quantum structure, even deeper to where everything originates, where everything begins, where the thought springs into the template. And the template spring into the physical. Going into that place, it's not far away. It's right there. You're in it. It's within all things. There's no place to go to. It just is. It's on the inside of the outside, where you currently are. It's all one. It's all together. And here you are in this place. You yourself are made of it. Look at your body as you walk through it, as you gracefully glide through it. Your body is made of the same shimmering energy, this substance. It's just a collection of information. That's all you are. Look at you. All the things that have ever happened to you, all the thoughts you've ever had about yourself, all the experiences you've had, the history you've had either in this life or perhaps before, through all time. Do you notice how deep and great you feel? How grand, how enormous you are? You are. You are filled with experiences. You are filled with awareness of this. You recognize. Oh, this little personality I'm trying on right now. It's. It's funny. It's like walking through a piece of my greater life wearing one outfit. That's what it feels like to be a human. Just putting on one outfit and wearing it for a few days or 70 or 80 or 90 years. It's all the same. It feels small in this perspective. And you're seeing yourself this way. You're realizing, why would I ever think I wasn't deserving? Where did that come from? How strange, how silly, how absolutely silly. I am deserving. Everyone is deserving. Every single one of us who's there playing together on Earth. We're all deserving. What funny little things we get stuck in our head that say, you can't have this and you can't have that. And look, can you almost see? Do you see Earth right there in the distance? You see that? That clot of humanity, everyone around the Earth and everyone is walking around with these perceived flaws, these perceived things they can't have. These perceptions about themselves of not being good enough. Every single person. Oh, it breaks your heart. You feel that? Does that break your heart? You just want to love them all. You want to say, no, no, this is part of why we are broken down there. Come on, heal that. Stop that. No. Recognize who you are, who you are. We're all part of Source. We're all part of God. We're all part of universal consciousness. We all have a higher, deeper awareness of some sort. We are all a continuation of consciousness. We are all deserving. It's a game you're playing with yourself to say you aren't. You're just pushing your own buttons. You're provoking yourself. You're pushing yourself in the misery to see what you'll do with it. That's all. Oh, come out of that. And you notice as you're saying that to them, you're saying it to yourself. You're coaxing yourself, come out of that. Come out of that, honey. Come out of that. Come on. We love you. You're part of love. You come from love. You're not inferior. There's nothing wrong with you. There's only parts of you that are different. There's nothing wrong with you. They're just different. If you want to change them, change them. You can have anything. You can be anything. You can do anything. You can experience anything. You just won't let yourself let yourself go on. Let yourself say yes. Now, I will let myself do this. Yes, I'm going to let myself expand. Yes, I'm going to let myself become a world class skydiver. Yes, I'm going to let myself be happily married. Yes, I'm going to let myself find the partner of my dream. Yes, I'm going to let myself have plenty of money. Yes, I'm going to let myself go beyond fear in my life. Yes, I'm going to let myself become an amazing parent. Yes, I'm gonna let myself give to the world in such a way that I'm relieving someone else's unhappiness and showing them their brightness. Yes. You see how easy it is. There's nothing you can't do. It's just your own restriction, your own limitation. You gave that to yourself. You're the only one who can take it off. So take it off. Let it go. Fling it. Fling it away from you on the flow. Pull it up from in you. Pull it up from the fabric of yourself and fling it away in the flow. Go on, do it right now. Fling it away. Watch it arcing away from you. Here it goes behind you, never to come back. It's done. You've removed it. It's a choice and you've got made it. You're in flow. You feel how light you are? Do you feel how free you are? You are. You are. That's all. It's all you need to be. You are. It's good enough. You are. Love that, love that. Love that. As much as you love anyone or everyone else, you cannot really love anyone to the degree you love yourself. Love yourself first. You can love them equally. Find the extent of your love so you can love others to that extent. You have to find it in yourself first. And you do. You do right now. It's there. It's been waiting for you to claim it all this time. It's been waiting for you to claim it. Let yourself hug, hug yourself. Hug your own energy melt into it. And as you do, feel yourself melting away from this place now and returning back from flow back into your life. Beautiful life, extraordinary life. It's been given to to you so you can learn to love yourself again, remember who that is and thereby love everyone else so much better. You are deserving, you should be rewarded, you should be receiving. And you are eyes open there. I hope you really felt that. I hope you were in Flow. That's the kind of work I do, the work I teach. You can learn this. You can create extraordinary breakthroughs in your life this way. I think I'm back. Am I back? I dropped briefly there. Anyway, I was going to say you can change your characteristics inside you. You can change your personality this way. You can change your degree of self love. You can change so much about yourself. You don't have to go to another therapist to get it done. You do this all inside. You can change your material circumstances. You can change everything. For me, that's truly what manifesting is. Manifesting a life. You can see why I'm such a devotee. All right, we're going to go to a quick break. When we get back, I'll be answering your calls. Any questions about anything that came up. Did you feel anything? What was that Flow Dream like for you? Let me know and as always, I will be looking in you, looking into your life and helping you. Flow talk to you in a few moments.

Hi, it's summer, but on break and I know that some of you are still wondering what is Flow Dreaming and what is MI School?

Because I refer to both of these.

Quite a bit in my podcast. MI School is a transformational program. It's a gorgeous and deeply revealing, empowering online school worldwide where I teach you how to remodel your life in any way you choose, using the technique of flow dreaming as well as a bunch of other deeply powerful life changing processes. So me School is either enrolling or it's accepting names onto the wait list. And that means that I'm accepting student name who work with me for the year and you can learn how to.

Do what I do in life.

The way I think, the way I build things, make things, heal things. Everything I talk about you will learn directly from me how to do. You're going to create some amazing things, my MI schoolers. Their lives change way beyond the norm. And you don't even have to be a superstar when you go in. Some of you are, and you're ready to go bigger, play in that bigger field, and some of you are just saying, hey, help.

What's next? Where should I go?

And both are fine. Both are great if you're ready to go big. But you know that you need to deepen your own spiritual practice and your personal growth, because that's where it all comes from, right? Then this is where you need to be. Your life only grows as big you do. So here's what to do. Go over to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. And during these enrollment periods, you can.

Actually set up a free phone call.

With me or my staff and we'll talk about it.

Is it a fit? Is it interesting?

During waitlist times, we just put you on a list of people who've expressed interest, so we can notify you as soon as the doors open.

All right. I look forward to hearing from you.

And even more to getting to know you as one of my personal students in ME school. Now let's get back to the episode.

Manifest your life with Summer McStravic and Flow Dreaming. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming, everybody. Let's do some calls right now. Although you're all just still floating out there in love. Bill, let's go with Sarah from Georgia. Hi, Sarah. How are you today? Hi. Hi. How are you doing?

Well, if I were better, I wouldn't be calling.

Oh, what's happening?

Well, I talked to you about a year ago in a private session, and I was in a job that was kind of weird and unstable, and I lost that job in a spectacular mess that to this day, I still call the unpleasantness.

Oh, okay. Believe me, a lot of us have done the same thing. You are not alone.

And basically, I. I was in the hospital for about five days, and I was in treatment for about four months, and I'm in a better space than I was back then. But I'm having a hard time finding a. You know, I'm sort of back on my feet and looking, and I worry that maybe I'm still vaguely traumatized and that sort of hanging out in my flow and keeping things away.

Yeah. Did you know I did a podcast, oh, I don't know, a couple months ago called Career Trauma or Career ptsd. I can't remember which one did.

Yes, I think I Think I do remember listening.

I hope you did. This is common. We carry our experience from our last job, often forward into our next job. So whenever we leave a job really unpleasantly, you know, we. It just gets so out of alignment with us and it just breaks. You need to go through some sort of processing and healing. It's just like a relationship. People, I don't know why people don't talk about this. They say, oh, you know, you broke up with your boyfriend or you divorced, it must be terrible. You know, you've got healing to do. It's like, yeah, the same thing happens with a career and sometimes with a job even more. Because we often use our job to tell us who we are. You know, we rate ourselves based on are we employed, who is employing us, how well are we respected within our job. It becomes part of our self conception. So, you know, when you lost your job in a spectacular way, it wasn't just a job for you. It was a sense of, am I not good enough? How come I didn't see that coming? How come I saw it coming and didn't do anything about it? I mean, all kinds of things, right? I bet you could write a list of them. That would be a good exercise for you. Write a list of those things that you still are upset with yourself about. Okay? Every one of those things. You can let go of every one of them and you have to say to yourself, I am not bringing this into my future. This job and I, we got out of alignment and I was pushed to choose different ways to react. And so were they. And that's how it ended up being, you know, the finale was the way it ended up being that spectacular, you know, flaming mess. But that doesn't have to reoccur. And most importantly, that is not who I am. That is not who I am. So when you're looking for new jobs, what's happening is it's coming up in your mind, what if it happens again? What if this is who I am? What if it happens all over again? What if this is who I am? So it makes you not want to look for a job. If you get a job, it makes you worried that it's the wrong job. It makes you incredibly frightened and fearful. You don't want to experience that again. Okay? So that's largely what's going on inside of you. Do you feel that you're ready to work again?

I hope I am. Right now. It's basically part of the reason. Part of the thing that came to a head was that I had A condition that was not properly diagnosed until afterwards. And I've been trying to manage that condition as best I can, and I've had a lot of really excellent help. The problem is right now, the unpleasantness is starting to sort of rear up again. And so I'm getting my medications adjusted and, you know, trying to use all the little, you know, make sure I exercise and drink enough water and all that stuff.

Is this bipolar or depression? Yes. How did you. Wait a minute.

Why am I talking to a psychic?

I know, I know. Okay, so, yeah, I could feel it. This is a big part of the fear. It ties right into who am I? You know, am I good enough? Okay, so. And now that you've actually put a label on something inside yourself that you feel is somehow less than. See, you're not loving yourself, really. Let's go back to the topic of the show. This is a part of yourself you are trying to manage, control, and fight with. Right? You look at it like something, like a handicap. You stop looking at it that way. I know this is a weird feeling, but just try it for a week. Say, you know, I love myself. I even love that I have this. I don't know why I have this, but I'm going to get over the feeling of hating it. I'm going to love it. I'm going to just say I love that I have this. I'm curious to know what it's trying to tell me. Just because I love it doesn't mean I want to keep it, but it means I don't hate it. Because when you're hating it, when you're putting out that feeling of self hate about something inside you or pushing it away, trying to control it, you're really in a struggle. You're in a war. So when you think about trying to add a job on top of that, it's just too much. It's just too much. And then you worry it'll come out in your job again. And then what if it's a repeat? And you know, that's. It's a. It's a way to struggle. It's not a way to live with ease and flow. The way to live with flow. Go and close your eyes with me a moment, Sarah. Let's do this. Eyes closed. All right. Relaxing. Clearing that head. This depression is not yours. Just say this to yourself. I don't know what it means. It just came to me. The depression is not mine. Depression is not mine. It doesn't belong to me. Bipolar. This doesn't belong to me either. It's something that came to me, maybe something that my body had a genetic tendency toward, but it doesn't belong to me. I don't need it. I don't require it in my life. I accept that you're here. I even love and embrace you because you're now part of me and I love all of me. But you don't truly belong to me. So I am committed to letting you go. I'm committed to this being just a temporary visit. You're not like those relatives who move in for the rest of my life. You will be moving on. So while you're here, I embrace you. I love you. I'm going to take care of you. There's probably something here about taking care of myself, always in different ways that I'm learning that I had to bring up inside myself. I absolutely accept and receive that. But depression, I really can give you up now. I can give you up with a kiss on each cheek and say goodbye. And I can go back into the work world and find something that's absolutely me this time, that doesn't bring me to that anxiety and stress that brought up this condition in the first place. That's what I need to hear. I get that. I'm hearing that from you. That's what I'm going to do. And flow. You'll help me, right? You're helping me feel, flow. It's all around you. It's saying, yes, we help you. We help you. As long as you're stepping up like this and stepping into it and engaging like this, we can do no less than to help you. If you are going this far with it, we can do no less than to help you and bring you what you need, bring you where you need to be, bring you whatever it is that's going to smooth this and allow this to occur, allow this release, allow this healing and allow this health. And you feel the change. You feel it all through your body right now. You can physically feel it. It just feels like a deep breath, like a glass of cool water on a hot day. You've just made a different kind of agreement with yourself. And that agreement stands. Stands now. And it will stand tomorrow and the next day. And now open your eyes. All right, Sarah, thank you. Yeah, yeah. That was just a little change in perspective, a shift that had to happen energetically for you. Try and keep that sensation. Okay? Keep that perspective. All right, my dear. You take care. You're so welcome. By now. Interesting. It started off about work, but then it really got into what's happening. I find that to be true so often when I work with people. You know, there's the outward manifestation of what you think it is, but chances are, you look at it a little deeper and you'll find there's a root that's quite different. That's what I'm always talking about when I'm saying I like to chase people's patterns. It's fun. I love it because it's like I get to be Sherlock Holmes. You know, I get to go in and say, ooh, this is the physical manifestation. Let's go figure this out. Because it's all there in your flow. It's all there in your energy structure. It's just erupting in some physical way. And it might be over here, it might be over there, but let's go find that and change that. At its core, at its root, you know, flow again, get where you need to be, and then everything changes. Well, okay, I think it's about time for me to, oh, my goodness. Wrap up the show. How, how quickly this has gone today. I guess I have to say my love goes to you all, and I will see you again next week. We're going to be doing, of course, another episode of Flow Dreaming. Another topic coming up for you, by the way. I'd love to get some of your topic suggestions. I'm doing that thing once again where I am putting together the next few months of what I'm talking about. So if there's that you haven't heard me address in a long time, send me a note and I'll think about putting a show together around that subject. My email is summerlowdreaming.com I always love to hear from you. So with that being said, my love to you all until next week. Bye. Bye.

All right, that wraps up our episode today. But before you go, two things. One, you can get the Flow Dreaming app in the Google, Amazon or itunes app stores. It allows you to search and sort to mark your favorite episodes. It's completely free to download, and it gives you access to the latest several dozen of these episodes, as well as to the premium episode library, where there are more than 400 episodes that date back 10 years. The app's free, so go download it now at Flow Dreaming in the App Store on your mobile device. And last, if you love my show, I'm going to give a shout out to my mom's podcast. It's called the Dear Venus show, and she's an amazing intuitive and a medium and super, super funny. Search the words Dear Venus in your podcast directory or online, and that way you can find her, too.