#426 The Flow of the Breakup

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope.

And joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does.

It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Oh, my God.

You were so on target. You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough. Breathe.

It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you.

And you know that feeling when you.

Touch it, it just spreads through you.

Thank you for taking my call. I don't know why I feel like crying. I think I just feel your love.

Of course.

And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS.

I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another.

Episode of Flow Dre. That was a nice big sigh. I joke sometimes that I am the Queen of Sighs. Doesn't that just sound like a really racy novel or a sci fi book? The Queen of Sighs. Every sigh has a different meaning to it. Today's sigh goes to everyone who's tuned in to this episode because we are talking about the art of the breakup or the flow of the breakup, or even just what it damn feels like to break up with someone or be broken up with. It's funny. The last episode I did, I was going to do this topic and nobody knew it, but I switched it out last minute. I ended up getting all calls anyway about people who were in the midst of a relationship that was letting go funny. So hopefully if you have those questions again, you can call today. You can find my live studio times here when I podcast, when I record, Air the radio station. Excuse me, air this radio show on CTR. Contact talk radio by going to my website, flow dreaming.com. there's also a bazillion different ways now that you can get this podcast. It's not just through itunes, though that is a really great way to access it, especially if you download the app and. Or subscribe to the show and. Or review it. Every time you do one of those things, you either download the app. That's. The Flow Dreaming app basically gives you these radio shows all cataloged, and you can star your favorite ones and stuff, or you subscribe to your itunes or you review it. Those three different things all help to, how do I say, notch the show up in the world of Apple so the show gets more exposure that way. So I'm always deeply grateful for anyone who does that. The show is also available through Stitcher now, so you can listen through your computer or Stitcher also has different apps. Stitcher S T I T C H E R and my website too offers you different ways to get it, such as through the premium archives. I have been pricing that ridiculously low, like $3 a month, $2 a month, something like that, to access all of my archives going back to 2000 and oh my gosh, it's not even 2009 now, it's further back than that. Wow, almost 10 years. So if you've noticed already, every show I talk about a different topic and I explore that topic through the realm of energy, through the realm of someone who manifests and creates. So over all these years I've explored so many different perspectives on Here is how you apply flow, here's how you create ease. Here is how you get unstuck from Here is how you create bounty and abundance in and there we go through your life, through your work life, career life, spiritual life today, through your romantic life, through your partnerships. So we're gonna jump into that topic. I just gave a shout out, of course, to the podcast, the ways you can get it. Also check out the Manifesting store. There is a really great playlist there. I'll tell you about it a little later, if I remember. That is so on target with what we're talking about today. So it occurred to me that I've never really done a full hour, at least that I can remember. Maybe in 10 years I have, but I can't remember it in memory. About breaking up, about what it means to really lose that person you love or loved and adored. Whether you're the one who's doing the breaking up, whether your partner is breaking up with you, whether it's a mutual exchange, a mutual decision. It still creates all kinds of huge changes and reverberations through your life. Just this morning I was picking my son up from one of his camps he was in and it was on a second story building, two story building. I was on the second story and the whole floor was sort of vibrating and shaking from all of the activity. And I was thinking, that's like what a breakup is like, energetically. I mean, the very ground that you stand on shakes and sways and you ask yourself, is that me? Am I imagining that? Or is it really just. Am I really feeling that? Is it really affecting everything? Is this breakup seeming to go into every part of my life? Why is it that I can only go a couple of hours focusing on something before He. I'm going to use he for the show. I know, fellas, it might be she. But just for the sake of consistency, before he comes back in ahead again. When you're in the midst of a breakup, a lot is going on energetically. Remember, you have been bonding with this person, and maybe it's just been for a few months, maybe it's been for 25 years. You've been creating deep emotional bonds. You have been revealing levels of yourself. You haven't expressed just about anyone else in your life. So when you're withdrawing those levels of yourself, of course you're going to feel it, and you're going to feel it through each of those levels. The real point here, though, is that you have to choose. You have to decide how are you going to respond to withdrawing those levels from your partner? Are you going to shut them off? Are you going to close them down? Are you going to go tight inside yourself and say, not again, I'm not going to do that? Was it a really damaging. Did it end up in a damaging way, that relationship? Or are you going to just retrieve those bits of yourself, retrieve that intimacy and say, I'm going to hold on to this, ready for the next person to reawaken me. Like those plants in the desert, right? Those seeds that lie dormant, they can lie dormant for years. All it takes is one, you know, one brief desert thunderstorm and they spring back to life. You have a lot of choices to make as you move through the healing process. So I'm just going to sort of freeform rich a little bit right now on what the feeling, what the energy of the breakup is like. And then we're going to move into the second stage. How do you recover? Okay, so part of this is going to validate you. This is how it really does feel. Yes. You are absolutely 100% on target with what you go through, and then you'll learn. All right, if I was on target with that part, I'm probably going to stay on target as I move through recovery. Okay. So when you are pulling apart from someone, it doesn't matter who's doing it. There's often a sense that you don't really want to. You don't really want this, but it's happening anyway and you know it. And you can cling, you can keep going back in for another dip. A lot of people do that two, three, four times, five times, back and forth, back and forth. But if you really check in energetically, you check in with your flow, you know this is happening anyway, you know, there's an almost feeling of inevitability. Then you ask yourself why. Whether you let go into it or you fight against it, you still say, why does it feel like it's still slipping away? What's happening? Then you move into the next phase, which is you're kind of afraid to know the truth. You feel it, you're acknowledging it, but you don't want to admit it. You don't want your partner to admit it. You don't want to speak it. You don't want to say it out loud, yet you know it's happening. And then eventually there comes the point where one of you does speak it out loud. And you know, it's that sense of a guillotine. Oh, my God. Is this it? Is this final? What does that mean? Okay, here's the energy between you. It's going back and forth. It's like. Imagine two streams, like literal two streams of water. They flow together pretty easily, don't they? Right? Two streams merging together into one into a greater river. Right. That's a natural phenomena. Happens all through the world. Two small streams create a great river. Yet those streams, eventually, what happens to them? They dump out into the ocean, they emerge elsewhere, they dry up. Do they often just split apart again? Not really. So this process takes consciousness. It takes some greater awareness. This is why we're afraid. Often we don't really want to hear or know the truth. It's funny, you know, I talk to people who. They say, this is the most beautiful, conscious, open relationship I've ever had. Until we got to the end. And then we were both afraid to speak, to say the truth. And then when we did say it, we just knew it would hurt each other. You're afraid to hurt each other. What that means is that there's still love there. And when there's still love there, then you second guess, well, there's still love there. Why are we doing this? You see? And then you get into this sort of, you know, dog chasing its tail, snake eating its tail, round and round situation. Just let that be. Don't try and fix it. Don't try and change it. Don't even try and figure it out. Just know here are other feelings that bubble up as you guys are splitting apart. There's this fear I'm never going to have something as good again. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was the one. She was the one. What if it was me? What if it was my fault? What if I was better? What if he was more ready? What happens if I just wait A little longer. What if that's the best I'll ever have? Now feel that energy. What if that's the best I ever have? What the larger context of that in flow thinking, what your energy is hearing from you is this. I believe that I've reached the pinnacle of my growth and this person matched the pinnacle from here. There is no future growth. There is no more forward motion. There's no place else to go. There's nothing greater to encompass. There's nothing more to find. Right? That's absurd. When I speak it out loud like that, you say, well, of course not. Of course I'm still going to grow and change and become so in that case, why would you ever feel you've already had the best? The best is still ongoing. The best accumulates. You get the best for where you are. At a certain place, a certain stage, a certain connective level. When that ends, when you've outgrown it, you move into the next connective level. That is the most natural, inevitable course of being. This is why it's this point that's so important. What are you going to choose? What are you going to choose right now? Are you going to choose to say, you're right, I'm at the next connective level? My last connective level ends it. A new one is therefore beginning. It must be beginning. Unless this is it. This is the end of everything. Clearly it's not. Other feelings you encounter are a sense of tremendous loss, self doubt. Did you do enough? What if it could have gone a different way? What if this, what if that? What if he hadn't met someone else? What if I hadn't met someone else? What if I had been more ready? What if he was more mature? What if he didn't have that wife or girlfriend already? What if I didn't have that husband or boyfriend already? What if the X wasn't in the picture? What if we could have come to an agreement on having kids or not? What if, what if, what if, what if? What if those what ifs can swirl around like a flock of birds that keeps landing on the same place in your mind over and over again? Be aware of this. Be conscious. This is creating a holding pattern for yourself. This creates a neither here nor there situation. Well, actually the here situation is, yes, you've split. That's the actual reality. But when you're circling like that, circling, re examining, second guessing, you are not exact. You're actually not getting with reality. Reality is you're split. The second guessing is, no, I'm still circling this is a healing time for you. It can turn into a delaying time for you know that the second guessing will pass. Allow it to pass. At a certain point, you have to just put it down and say, enough. I am not acknowledging my history any longer. I'm acknowledging what I'm going to do next. Next is what I have control of back then. I can't do anything about it. Already happened, already made my decisions. Move yourself back into that place of power. Those of you guys who are throwing the cards obsessively, you know, your oracle cards, it's because you're in that circling because you're afraid you won't have something so good again. You're afraid to know the real truth. You keep asking for a different truth. That's what that means. Around and around and around. There's another thing you're feeling as you move through the breakout. You say, I know how this is going to end. We're never going to. We're going to drift apart. We're not going to talk anymore. You know, he's going to meet somebody else. He'll get married. It's not me. You know, she'll meet someone else. She'll go back to her ex. You don't know how it's going to end. Just stop it. All of that worrying into the future. Remember, what you're feeling is part of your creation. Creation and flow. It's an act. You do every moment with every thought, with every breath. Know how it will end. Your fears are going to jump up and nibble at you and say, we know how it's going to end. The worst possible scenario. Notice if you do that, did you jump to the worst possible scenario? Maybe that's a pattern, a flow and energy pattern you actually do in your entire relationship. A lot of people do one fight. This is it, we're breaking up. You know, one text from a girl at work, oh, my God, he's dating someone else. You immediately go to the worst place. Why do you do that? Because you're protecting yourself in a way. You're trying to inoculate yourself. You're trying to vaccinate yourself by going to the very worst possible conclusion first. But you know what that does? It creates a constant stressor. Constant stressor. So if you're doing that now, you know how this will end. You don't. You have no idea. You guys could meet up again in three years. And he will be ready. He will say, you know, I look back and you were the best thing that ever crossed my path. I don't know why I couldn't see it then. I see you now and I will never let go of you. Or ten years from now, you cross paths again and you look at this person and say, you were so right for me then. I'm so glad we never got married because you would be so wrong for me now. It is so true. We were so not right beyond the limited way we had been interacting. My point is, you don't know where it will go. So stop projecting. Stop projecting. If you want to get back in a place of power, that's what Flow Dreaming is, taking your power back. You guys hear me talk about this so often every podcast. Get back in your place of power. That place of power is like this. I don't know what will happen with us. I am wide open to see. I feel that the very best will occur for us. We will see what we need to see. We will feel what we need to feel. We'll grow where we need to grow. Every interaction with you is love, is clarity, is communication, is intimacy. Even if it doesn't mean we're romantic, there is still a truth beyond everything between us. Right? Wouldn't you rather feel that. You feel that. You make that right. You understand this. You feel that. You make that. You feel that. You become that. That becomes who you are, how you act. It becomes every tiny little decision you make. All right, when we get back, I'm going to go through how you recover. What happens next? We're going to do a flow dream as well and take some of your calls. So please stay with me for more Flow Dreaming right after this.

Hi, it's summer, but on break and I know that some of you are still wondering what is Flow Dreaming and what what is MI School?

Because I refer to both of these.

Quite a bit in my podcast. MI School is a transformational program. It's a gorgeous and deeply revealing empowering online school worldwide where I teach you how to remodel your life in any way you choose, using the technique of Flow dreaming as well as a bunch of other deeply powerful life changing processes. So me school is either enrolling or it's accepting names onto the wait list. And that means that I'm accepting students who work with me for the year and you can learn how to do.

What I do in life the way.

I think, the way I build things, make things, heal things. Everything I talk about you will learn directly from me how to do. You're going to create some amazing things. My MI schoolers. Their lives change way beyond the norm.

And you don't even have to be.

A superstar when you go in.

Some of you are, and you're ready.

To go bigger, play in that bigger field.

And some of you are just saying, hey, help. What's next? Where should I go?

And both are fine. Both are great if you're ready to go big. But you know that you need to deepen your own spiritual practice and your personal growth because that's where it all comes from, right? Then this is where you need to be. Your life only grows as big as you do. So here's what to do. Go over to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. And during these enrollment periods you can actually set up a free phone call with me or my staff and we'll talk about it.

Is it a fit? Is it interesting?

During wait list times, we just put you on a list of people who've expressed interest. So we can notify you as soon as the doors open.

All right.

I look forward to hearing from you and even more to getting to know you as one of my personal students in ME school. Now let's get back to the episode.

Welcome Back to Flow dreaming.com Yes, I was promising that we're going to get into healing. What the next step is essentially the first tool I want to give you guys is a playlist that I've created. It's called Release and Love Again. And it really helps you move through these stages in a very gentle way. It helps you put your relationship in perspective and then it helps you to move through those different points of separation or re engagement. You know, I leave it open ended. I don't know where you're going, you're not sure where you're going. But the best, most right thing will happen. So do check that out. You can find that@flow dreaming.com Flow dreams by the way are 15 or so minute audio files that you can play that help change your emotional energetic structure. So by playing them, you're actually talking to the universe. You are programming your flow. You are changing your own internal emotional and energetic makeup. You are talking directly to the universe as you go into the flow and do these flow dreams. If you don't know how to do this, this is the basis of manifesting the way that I do it, the way that I teach people how to do it. You can learn about how to manifest how to actually do this again by going to my website. There is a place there for if you are new, come visit and I give you. I basically just lay it out. Here's what you do. The other great way to learn is to get on my newsletter. You'll find a place again. On the front page of my website. It says something like, get a free gift or get a free flow dream. This is the way that I teach you how to actually do this process. So it makes everything else make much more sense. And they are not meditations. So we are not going there. All right, so here's how you kind of move to the next point in your breakup as you are changing the nature of your relationship, your exchange. First thing I'd like you to ask yourself is, what did we give each other? Really? What did we give each other? Some of you guys can have very practical answers. Well, we gave each other children. We gave each other a home. We gave each other those building or foundation years of our life. Or perhaps it goes like this. We gave each other a mutual feeling that we are attractive, someone does want us, we are a good catch, we're desirable. I can find someone who I believe to be of my level. Or perhaps it was like this. We gave each other tremendous healing. We came together when we were both a little bit broken from a past relationship or, you know, a career downslide. And we said to each other, I love you anyway. I support you no matter what. And that became part of our rebuilding. Perhaps the kind of growth we gave each other was to wake each other up. To wake each other up to what we really needed, really wanted, didn't have previously in our life. We didn't even know we were missing it until we came together and shared. We thought, oh, that's where I was empty. That's why we connected. I didn't even know I was empty until you showed me that. I mean, this is just a few scenarios, but you did. You gave something to each other. There was purpose in your interaction. Yes, Love is part of that purpose. And maybe even just saying, I remembered I could be open, vulnerable, and intimate again. I allowed myself and my other. You know, my partner opened up and said, I allow it as well. Maybe that was it. You gave each other something. The question is, why did the giving stop? How did the giving get off track? Perhaps? Where did it go from there? Did it go into an old pattern? Something that was stressful or even abusive, unknowingly? Nobody starts out an abusive relationship, but it can go there. Here's the next question. Did one of you keep growing and the other stop? This does happen. You can come together for a reason, for a purpose, to share something. One person keeps moving, they say, wow, boom, boom, Boom. Here's what I'm going to explore next. You know, I talk with a lot of people and they say my spirituality ruins my relationship. They don't put it quite like that. But, you know, they say, you know, these last few years I've been on a quest and I found things out and I've discovered and I know what I need and I know what's missing. And my partner is just not keeping up. My partner is trying to hold me back, putting me down, not contributing, not being part of being fearful, being, you know, uninvolved. I need to be touched. My partner's not doing that. Is one of you growing? Did the other of you stop? This happens a lot in relationships, in long term relationships, long term marriages, in particular. Your partner and you, you are not going to be at the same level all the time. I pretty much guarantee it. It's my used cars. Car salesman. Yeah, I guarantee it. But you're not. You're going to have a growth spurt. Your partner is then going to have a growth spurt. At some points you're going to be exactly in alignment. At other times, you're going to drive each other crazy because you're moving at a different pace through life. You are different beings. The question is, does our underlying structure, does our underlying natures, are they still compatible? Can I withstand this slowness on behalf of my partner? Can they withstand it in me? This is often why people break up. They've served their purpose with one another, served their purpose. We did it. We did what we came together for. We worked through that energy, we chewed through that energy, we gulped down that energy that we needed to give. And generally that purpose is a really good one. Your partner has shown you something, opened doors to something, even if it was painful. Maybe you never realized how much you did want to have kids until you were faced with the option of never having them. Maybe you were realizing that your partner needs to acknowledge your independence and someone who is clingy and needful and can't acknowledge that you realize that is incredibly important to me. Thank you for showing that to me. You really showed me who my nature, what my nature is so grateful. And likewise, you showed something to your partner that they need a certain amount of interactivity to feel comfortable in their life or that they need to grow more, develop and create their own independence. I don't know. Just depends. It's so individual. Once you understand what you gave to each other, what the fundamental things that you exchanged were, you get a much better understanding of why are we Apart now. We're apart now because that exchange has gone to a simmer. That exchange has in some, some cases, with some people, it's gone bad. It was a beautiful positive thing and then it kind of went ugly. And you showed me I'm worth more. I have to value myself and we have to end this now. I refuse to let myself be brought down like that. I refuse to let you bring me down. Someone I was in love with now making me feel like this. I refuse that. That doesn't honor you or me or us at all. It's kind of like the kinder death, right? I'm doing this for both of us so we don't go there. Into that. Step up with me. Step up with me into that. Ways that you can recover include very first thing, recommit to your own emotional fulfillment. Right. Often when we break up, we feel like that's it, it happened to us. I don't know what will happen after this. Where am I going to get that feeling? I want to keep going back to him or going back to her. Texting him, checking in, following him on Facebook, finding out what's going on. Is he getting save someone else instead? You could be looking at your own emotional fulfillment and feeling that I will be emotionally fulfilled somehow, somewhere, someone with someone. I mean, right? We tend to think that that's it. Emotional fulfillment. Bye bye. Gone. Done. Mm. Mm. Flow. Feel. Now, I may not be receiving what I need from you anymore, but I'm going to be receiving might not even be from a person. Maybe it'll be from something else I do in my life. Maybe I'm going to, you know, start quilt making, create things of great beauty. Maybe I'm going to start traveling, doing things all for myself, being nourishing myself. Maybe I'm going to develop a creative relationship with somebody, do something collaborative, something where I'm getting my need for partnership and intimacy met. Maybe it will be with someone else who will emotionally fulfill me. But my emotional fulfillment is non negotiable and I will not let my power be taken with the feeling that my partner was the only one who could serve it to me and give it to me. As long as I feel that way, I will be in a place of lack. I will be expecting lack. I will be depending on my partner, my ex partner, to return it to me. I don't. I get my emotional fulfillment. I don't even know exactly where, but I know it's going to happen. I know it'll be given to me. I know I will be Filled. Do you get that? That turns the corner in so many ways. The other thing you want to do is remember that you know your ex. If you have ended, if you have really split apart, if you feel it, if you know it, there's a sense that I know, okay, this is the truth. I am accepting it. You've probably reached a new point in your own development as they have. And you can't be there to keep serving them. You want to, but you can't. If you did, you would turn into somebody else trying to keep serving them what they needed. You can't turn into somebody else. You're in a new place. They're at a new place. Be ecstatic about that idea. I know that sounds crazy. Be ecstatic about the idea. But here's. Here's the thinking behind that. Here's the feeling, here's the flow feeling. As you're programming, as you're manifesting this. I'm ecstatic. We grew out of our need for each other. We recognized that we couldn't continue it for whatever set of reasons. You know what this means? Means I've actually grown into need with someone else. I grew out of a need with you. Therefore, I've grown into a need with someone else. And that, again, is where fear often comes in. We say, but I don't know what level I'm at. I don't know what the next thing is. I'm afraid it'll be like the last thing. I'm afraid this last partner was the best I'll ever have. Right. You go back into those again. No, no, no. Your flow is rewarding you. I know it's crazy sounding, but your flow is rewarding you. It's saying you got what you needed. If you guys were still together, you would be continuing to grow at the same pace, expand at the same pace, giving to each other exactly what you needed. You would still be in that phase, but you aren't. You aren't. And you can't arm twist the energies. You can't arm twist your souls into making it happen. When you do that, that's when you get into those long periods of the crappy end of the relationship. You know, the two years, the three years, the 10 years you spend saying, I want to make it right. It's got, how come it's over? When is it going to? And again, you know, long relationships, long marriages, they do weather some really crummy periods, but they also know that we are still fundamentally good and both parties are in agreement or you have reached some new Breakthrough inside yourself to bring you back into your marriage, into that partnership, or your partner has done so and you've been willing to wait it out. But this show is specifically about the breakup. What happens when you don't wait it out? No, you have grown into a new person. You have grown into a new kind of exchange. You have new things to experience, learn. And if you're conscious at all as a creator, part of that growing means you have grown into a new depth of intimacy. Your need for closeness, for sharing, for exchange, for freedom, for independence. When I say closeness, I also mean freedom. Those two are bosom buddies. They go hand in hand. Two people who are independent, strong, exploring, they come together. They have the most beautiful, gorgeous closeness. Two people who are needy, possessive, insecure. They cling to each other and they both drown. So you've reached that level. Be ecstatic about that. Be ecstatic for your partner. Honey, we're done. I can't do anything more for you. I can't do anything more for you. You need someone else to move you into that next place, as do I. And then you go back to this thought again. Go back to this thought. I don't know what's going to happen with us in six months, a year, five years, I don't know. We may end up together yet. Our love may continue yet. I'm so curious to know what will happen through all the different modalities, all the different colors, all the different experiences we travel through. What will that mean? What will that make of us now, when you are also closing a relationship? Just one more quick note. Be aware that when you disconnect with somebody, it happens through multiple phases. It's not just one. There's the physical separation. You stop seeing each other. You move out, you divorce. You stop calling, you stop texting. The physical departure. There's the emotional departure, the crying, the grieving, the wondering, the processing, the intellectual departure. I finally acknowledging we're apart, this is real, we're not getting back together. I'm on this new path. I see it and I know it. The one that people forget about often is the energetic departure. This is the flow. This is where your energy is no longer holding each other. I often describe it like when you guys were in a relationship. It was like your phone line. It's like some of you guys are old enough to remember. Well, we have cell phones. You talk late into the night, talk for hours. You call them anytime. They call you first thing in the morning, they wish you good night. Every night. Your phone is always open and on this is your emotionally energetic flow connection. Your energy is still together. At some point, one of you guys hangs up. And you can either be sitting there holding a dead phone line to your ear, pining, or you could hang up too. And you'll feel it when it happens. That is the day when you finally completely clear. And you know what I mean by clear. Anybody who's been through a breakup knows you finally clear. It's the day you wake up and you realize, I'm just not attached like that anymore. I think I might be okay with it. And then more and more days, you wake up like that. Not every day. Go back a little bit, back and forth. Pick up the phone, Put it down. Pick up the phone. Energy connecting, disconnecting. And there's a day you realize, I haven't been waiting for that phone call. That energy connection between us. I'm not feeling it. And that's where people ultimately, you know, feel either relieved, you know, really set free, or they feel the last bits of grief. The last thing I want you to remember before we go to a break again is this. When you finally hang up. That energetic connection with each other, that flow connection. Remember, in the world of flow, in the world of quantum physics, in the world of spirit and soul, Once you have connected with somebody, once you have known them and they know you and you can feel them. Just close your eyes. Feel your partner. You probably don't even see their face. It's probably hard to envision it in detail. You struggle, but you feel them. There's a sense you might not even say their name. What is it? What combination evokes them? That is them. That is their energy signature. That part of you will always be entangled. Together, entangled. You will always be able to pick up that phone and reach them. You will never be without their phone number. Anytime you need to, they are there. Everything you experienced continues to exist. It stays, it remains. It's like it's been etched into stone. Of the stone of eternity. Can always go back in, relive it, revive it, re. Feel it. So never feel that you're truly at a loss. Truly that an end. That person has become a part of you. They became part of your life. They became part of you. They became part of your decisions. They became part of your experiences. They exist in you and you in them forever. So with that, we're going to again go to a quick break. I'm noticing the calls that are coming in today. Isn't that funny? No. Relationship calls. Really? Because that was all last week. Maybe I'm just doing my shows a week in advance, so we may or may not get to calls because I really do want to stay keen and honed in on this subject. I'll decide by the time we get back. We may just go into a flow dream where we acknowledge the breakup, we acknowledge release. And if you're listening to this and you're like, well, gee, I've never broken up with anybody, but I think this is fascinating. Or never broken up. Come on, just about everybody's been broken up with or broken up with somebody. The flow dream will be about release, being able to move forward, move past people, move past crushes, anything like that. Okay, stay with me. We'll be back in just a minute. Few minutes.

Hey, it's summer again and we're on a break, but this is where I catch you up on a couple of things that can really help you go much deeper with flow dreaming. First, if you're wondering how do I flow dream?

What is flow dreaming?

Then I have a free kit I created to teach you how to be in flow, how to talk to flow, how to manifest in your flow, go to flowdreaming.com, enter your email there and you'll get my tutorial on how to.

Do all of this.

I also give you a free flow dream to get started with. And this gives you the first step toward creating a freaking awesome life. And it also puts all of the concepts that you're learning in this podcast into context. So pop in your email on my homepage flow dreaming.com right now.

Why not?

We're on break and I'll send send it right to you. Then if you want to go a step further, you can begin expanding your library of flow dreams, which are these emotionally delicious audios that help you grow your power and manifest your future. This is the stuff. This is what we actually work with, how we do it. And they're on all kinds of topics. You can end fear, you can get unstuck or find your perfect career, be seen, get out of debt, find your soulmate, clear your body of toxins. It's just the list is practically endless. These playlists are very powerful and very effective. In fact, I get emails every day with thank you notes from lottery winners, people who've just gotten married, people who got these huge unexpected bonuses at work, or they've reduced massive amounts of pain or debt, or they've healed themselves either inside or in their body. So please visit the shop@flowdreaming.com and see how you want to begin changing Your life. Now, back to the show.

Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Oh, you guys, you're all calling me at the last five minutes of the show. How do. How. How am I going to do that? I tell you what, I know, Deborah, you've been waiting. So let's see what I can do with you in just a couple of minutes, and then we'll do a short Flow Dream at the end. Deborah, welcome to the program. Hi. Hello. Hi. You're like. Yes, you're here. You're live.

Oh, hi.

My.

My situation is I've been divorced for almost 10 years, physically divorced. And it's hard to cut the energetic ties. How do you do that?

Cutting energetic ties? Oh, that is a whole podcast in itself. I have done shows in the past about releasing negativity and negative people where I've offered some great techniques in there. Also at my manifesting store, I have a whole class on that you can listen to. It's about two hours to take you through when you are thinking about your ex. What I feel from you is that you tend to rerun a lot of the same questions in your head. If we had done this, if I had done that, if we had. Ringing a bell. Okay. That kind of rerun in your head keeps the tie strong, keeps the tie going. Think of it like injecting fuel into it. Every time you rerun those ifs. Ifs we had. Ifs we had, you are freshening up the tie. So for you, it's going to be more a question of. I'm not examining that anymore. I refuse to. Every time I indulge in that, I'm like an alcoholic taking a drink. I'm indulging. It's an emotional indulgence that keeps me from moving into the next place. Okay? So that kind of inner talk, inner awareness will do a lot. And it's not that you are dishonoring their memory or dishonoring or devaluing the relationship to do that. It's more like saying, you're like a beautiful, precious book. I can't keep flipping your pages open. I will damage you. I'm going to put you away safely where you can just be in me. That's how I will protect you, not ruin you. Okay? So come to the relationship with that feeling. I'm going to put you away to protect you. So when I'm ready again to approach you or think about you, you'll be ready for me and we'll be able to really finish this up. But right now, you've got to get that cycle to stop inside you.

Okay, well, you mentioned the word finish, and that's where I never think it got finished. It never got finished, right?

You finish it. You finish it. You finish it. You don't wait for your partner to finish it. That happens a lot, especially when people die. If they die unexpectedly or if there's just a lack, a sudden lack of communication, a wondering that goes on forever. The wondering becomes the ending. And I know it's unsatisfying. It's like a. It's like. You know, people gripe the end of the Sopranos. I never watched it, but they say it was so unsatisfying it didn't finish. Right. When things don't finish the way you want them to, the way you're programmed to expect them to, it leaves a gap, an opening. You have to then go in and finish it. Here's something you can do. I've done again, I've done classes on how to rewrite your past. You need to rewrite your past. You need to create a parallel past. This is how the relationship actually ended. Write that in your mind and if you've already done so, make it final. Say, I know what the real truth is. But now I'm creating an alternate truth. Because I'm creating them both, one of them energetically, one of them in physical, doesn't mean they're not still existing. They both become valid. They were both experienced, thought, felt. Create that alternate past for yourself.

Okay, that sounds good.

You're welcome, Deborah. You take care.

Okay, thank you so much.

Bye bye now. So I would have loved to have gone on more about how to create that ultimate, excuse me altogether, alternate past. It is a great technique. It is incredibly important. Energetic ability to have. It's something that you learn in MI School. In case you were curious what MI School is, there should be something on my website about it. I run the school. Every year I take in a new class of students. And that's one of the things that we go over. So let's do a very quick flow right now. In the few minutes that we have left. Close your eyes with me. Relax. This isn't meditation yet. You do want your body to be free from stress. You don't need to have all those little thoughts going around and around in your head. Those thoughts about your ex partner or your current partner in the process of breaking up with. Going to feel very differently about it for a moment. Give yourself permission to. You have total permission to play around with this thought before you even make it real. Allow yourself. Here you are you're ice skating. Ooh, ice skating, you say? I don't even know how to ice skate. Yet you. Here you are ice skating swiftly, freely. Your legs are so strong. You glide forward. Feel the power inside you. Feel how you rock back and forth. Look ahead of you. Where are you? A vast white arena, glowing cool energy under your feet. And you just skate, skate, skate, skate, skate. Where's that partner of yours? Do you see them? Are they behind you? Aren't they way off to the side? Are they way ahead of you? Are they skating with another partner? Just acknowledge them. Where are they? How are they showing up to you right now? Yes, you still see them. They're still there. There's still a connection and an awareness. But you're in two different parts of the rink. You're experiencing two different processes, two different places, two different states of energy and being you and your partner. You're both moving, you're both going forward. You're both creating. You're both moving into the next step in your life. Yet it may not be hand in hand, not just now. It was. It's not right now. And you feel like, I'm okay with that. That's good. The fear that grips you. Ah. Let it flow out of you, out down into your powerful, smooth, graceful strides. Fear just is pushed out of you. Your strength moving forward, just pushes it away and out of you. Your partner, you have love for them, such tremendous love. Is that going anyplace? No, that can still be there. That's allowed. That can exist forever. It will exist forever. Love is sticky. It holds you together. You recognize that. You value that. And you blow them a kiss. Blow them a kiss of acknowledging, of awareness. And you recognize, I'm on my path, you're on yours. It's all good. We have done right for each other. Whatever roles we played, we have done right. And I'll return and we'll talk again. And until then, be well. And you have my love. And that's how your daydream ends. And you return from flop. And that's.