#462 Relationship Repair

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Oh, my God.

You were so on target. You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough.

Breathe. It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. And you know that feeling when you touch it, it just spreads through you. Thank you for taking my call. I don't know why I feel like crying. I think I just feel your love. Of course. And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS. I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Before we get started, a really quick note. If you found this show on itunes or by downloading the Flow Dreaming podcast app, it would mean so much if you took a moment to review it. That is how other people will find this show and get the same great value out of it that I hope you're getting. So my huge thanks and sparkles and flow go to all of you who just take that few moments to go write a quick little message of telling other people. This is good. Go listen. Thanks. Now off we go to the show. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hi, everybody. It's nice to be here with you. I love spending this hour. It's one of my favorite hours of the whole week, where I get to play with new ideas, topics, explore different ways of thinking with flow in my life, understanding the kind of things that I can do and create and become once I am in alignment with what I think of as a kind of universal essence, a being, a flow of time, a forward motion, a perfect and right alignment, all of that wrapped up in flow, which is also the core of my being. It's my growth. It's the world's growth. It's the universe's growth. It is this motion of expansion, let's put it that way. And that expansion includes an expansion of your own awareness of who you are. Your consciousness does and in fact, expands, just like they always say here on ctr. Your consciousness expands because you are continuously taking in more information about yourself. Now, what sets you apart probably from the rest of the herd is, is that you don't just allow yourself to expand and grow by going through a series of stuff and just kind of bopping back and forth, learning back and forth the way many people do. You take it a step further, you ask, why? What does this mean? What will this do for me? If I pursue this idea or that feeling, is there a way I can push it to the next level? What will the result of that be? Is there a way that I can dip my hands into the universe and say, I do want this. I really want that. Let's make this. What do I have to do on my end to make it happen? And what does the universe have to do on its end to line up all the right and perfect coincidences and synchronicities and weaving together all the people and places and perfect timing that's going to have to occur? These are some of the things that someone who is devoted to flow dreaming thinks about all the time, right? This is our day in, day out. Every decision we make is this inflow. Does this feel right? Is this in alignment? Does it make me feel good? Is it going to lift me up? Or am I playing into my fear? Am I playing into my smallness? Which way am I going? And when we have to look outside, we say, hey, give me guidance. Let me know more. Let me empathically connect. Let me feel what others are feeling. Let me feel the potential of perhaps where this thing is going. That is what I teach. That is flow dreaming. That is what informs my entire me school of flow. The M in me is for manifesting. The E is for empathic intuition. By the way, there's at least 30 people on the wait list for the 2016 class already, and I haven't even opened registration. I probably won't do that for months. Of course, they're still open spots. 30 is not filling it. But if you're interested, please, please, please do go to flow dreaming.com. check it out. It's a system for self development that I just think is unparalleled. And I know because it has created an extraordinary life for me and for hundreds, thousands of people around me that I have seen use the system and grow. And I mean, I've been spending the last 10 years tinkering, refining, refining, refining, getting it really good. Anyway, our topic today is relationship repair. It occurred to me I hadn't really spoken about relationships in a while. And I like to kind of play with these episodes and give you a smattering of all different areas to think about and grow in. Relationships being so core. I can't tell you how many times I began working with somebody. I have a kind of elite group of people. I Call them my diamonds that I work with in a monthly way over the course of at least a year, often two, three years. And we'll start on, say, something like my health or my work or my family. And I kid you not, like three out of four times. So how's your relationship or lack thereof? You wouldn't believe how often the relationship is always the big elephant in the room. And we just pick things other than that because it feels easier to tackle them first. It's like towing your way into the cold swimming pool. Well, we'll just start with work. And you know, you're feeling, of course, like work and money. That's the biggest thing. And as we get in, we realize, no, that's something. It sure is something. But let's look at these other things, these deeper things. You and other people, you and how you're able to be intimate or not intimate. You and what you fear about people thinking about you, you and what you hope or try to make or control people to think. I mean, just, it often goes into it. So relationships are a huge, huge area to explore, remodel and grow with in flow. I love working in this area. Can you tell? So I thought I would kind of share with you because I have done a lot of episodes on relationships before. I thought I'd share with you the way that typically work with somebody when relationshipy things come up, right? So let's say for a moment that I have one of my clients on the phone. They're one of my MI School students. Because all of my clients are simultaneously enrolled in MI School, it helps me not have to reteach kind of fundamental material. And we're talking about something going on. Let's pretend we use a couple different scenarios, right? One of the most common is boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, right? Sometimes we might go in and start actually just pure flow, dreaming. I'll say you guys are on opposite ends of the earth right now. Something has occurred that has created this long standing divergence. You know, like you're not parallel lines, you're not. You're not coming together, you're going away from each other. So we create ease. We just create ease. And we open channels of communication. We use source energy, flow energy, universal energy to open those channels of communication. Sometimes we know specifically what communication should actually be said, should be cleared, should be brought up. And this is often the case when there's something a wife has to tell a husband, a husband has to tell a wife, you know, something of magnitude like, honey, I want to quit my job, but I feel that I can't, you know, it's killing me, honey. I'm not attracted to you anymore. And I'm not sure what to do about it because I still love you, honey. You know, all kinds of things come up from that. Sometimes the conversation is, I'm really scared to reveal myself to you because I've pushed things too quickly before and watched them fall apart. So I'm holding back, right? So we have to have a conversation about that. You know, if you're entering a relationship with the energy of holding back, where do you think that goes? Imagine that that energy of holding back out of fear is an arrow. You shoot that arrow the moment you enter the relationship. It's going to keep going forward and forward, and that's what your relationship is going to be. A constant fear of not revealing, of holding back, of waiting for the right timing. Fear of being punished or abandoned for saying what you really are, who you really are. Carrying a past relationship into the present one because you're using information from a past relationship to recreate it in the current one. Right? We do. We work on stuff like that. This is manifesting. You're scratching your head. What? It sounds like therapy. I'm not a therapist. I have no bas or mas or anything like that in psychology. I work with energy, I work with emotion. I have been in so many people's heads. I have spent so much time in other energies. I'm probably an anthropologist more than anything because I know what people think, I know how they feel, I know the traps that they get themselves into, the patterns that they start repeating the fears that lock them into place. And I also see where things are free, easy, open, where there's potential, where the next best step truly and clearly is. So we might pre pave a conversation, specifically any of those that I just outlined to you. Pre paving a conversation is an emotional energy technique. I can't explain it today in this program. Again, it's a me school thing. But basically it comes down to having and expressing what it is you need to communicate in energy first and in your emotional self first. So that it then translates outward from you. It manifests itself outward from you into your life. In this is key, the best possible circumstances, not the circumstances you fear. If you fear those circumstances, you will manifest those circumstances. So we change you so it comes out in the best possible way. Sometimes we ask to have more clarity, right? I need more clarifying events. Give me something that is going to show me what I need to do. And sometimes, in fact, I was talking with somebody a couple weeks ago. You know, she kept waiting to see if her boyfriend was really true to her or not. She's just like, one more. I need one more thing just to show me for real, for sure. I feel like he's not being truthful with me. I feel like, you know, maybe he's seeing other girls or something. Show me. It's like, what does that burden of truth really look like for you? Do you need it? Do you need more clarity on this? Let's have something happen. Do you really want something to happen to make it easy for you to walk? Or do you want to realize that your own inner instincts. Do you want to take the even bigger lesson, which is trust yourself? You know you're not crazy, right? Crazy energy is crazy energy. It comes from something. It doesn't just happen on its own. You just don't magically go crazy in the middle of a beautiful, blissful relationship. It's always founded on something. Trust that, right? Sometimes when we're going into relationship repair, we do healing and forgiving, right? When you're in a relationship, even one relationship, or a series of them, you know, I've used my own relationship before sometimes. Some of you guys know I met my husband in high school. I was 15. He and I have been together 28 years. Oh, gosh. Now you know how old I am. Long relationships carry a ton of baggage, right? It's like, it is the same. It's very similar to going through three or four different people because he's changed three or four different times. I've had three or four different major segments in my life. The thing is, though, we don't leave our stuff behind us and move on to someone new. It's always there. All that baggage just gets higher. It gets piled up higher and higher. Think of one of those hotel rooms where you can leave your bags if you checked out, but you can't get to your flight yet, right? They put it in those little rooms full of suitcases. Well, that's the baggage in a relationship. How do you fix that? You go in and you heal and repair it. You say, let's clear this out. Let's clean this out. Have you ever done that? Consciously, with thought, with feeling? This is different than going to a therapist and talking out issues. Similar, but it's not the same. Sometimes you need to energetically release it. You need to emotionally push it out. Wash it through. Go. Hey. This is not informing who we are anymore. To the degree that it was. It was starting to overwhelm who we are today and it shouldn't be because really we've grown out of that. Why are we still holding that? What's going on? Right. That's very similar to what happens when you've been in multiple relationships and you come to your next one with all the danger zones, all the danger signs, and partly, you know, you're being smart. It's like, yeah, I know what it looks like when a guy is, you know, when he stops texting me for two weeks and then I find out through the grapevine he hooked up with his old girlfriend. And I know I'm not going to go there. I sense that some of it is just street smarts. Right. You've caught on to a lot of things that people do. Sometimes, though, you leave relationships with, let's say, bad understandings about yourself or mistrust of other people. Well, if I experienced it with one girl, it's definitely going to happen with the next girl. I've seen that before. It happens. It'll probably happen again. And then you start going in with this baggage of bad expectations, bad thoughts of what you know or think about yourself. What does that manifest for you? Right. Don't you want to see that and be aware of that? Get rid of that. Personally, I like to start fresh. Hey, it's a new era. We're in a new place. Who are we going to be today? No, I'm not judging you based on what my last boyfriend did. That would be awful. No, I can be open and free and honest and caring and speak my mind and be sexy, whatever it is. Of course I'm going to do all that. Not going to hold down or hold back. Ditto. If you're in a relationship, if you're in a marriage, how much of that has been entrained in you over the years? Don't do that. Don't say that. He doesn't like that. Now's not a good time, right? Have you made a maze for yourself of stuff you can't do? Say, be, go? Have we work on that? This is similar to looking for triggers and patterns, right? This is what we do in flow. We do this in the emotional energy work of flow dreaming. Flow dreaming is manifesting. We are manifesting an awareness of our patterns and our triggers. Right. Which I sort of referred to fear of loss. Right? Fear of committing fear of being good enough. Fear that you won't get somebody because they're already taken. Fear that there's not enough good people out there. Fear if you leave this relationship that you won't find Any better, it's the last time you'll have to fall in love. Not trusting your decisions. Guilt over being yourself, guilt over saying those things. Resentment. Expectations for betrayal, expectations for money issues, Expectations to fight in certain areas. Going in with a feeling of, I know we're going to have a conflict over. Over having kids. Because, you know, I've had that before. And who am I going to find who's also 40? He wants to have kids at this point, right? These are expectations, triggers, patterns, bringing in those, and there they are. And of course you're going to find somebody who's going to match those. That's what alignment's all about. You manifest what you are. You manifest what you are. If you have those triggers and patterns, that's what you manifest. What about asking Flow to give us the next steps, right? Give me some perfect timing. Sometimes that's what I do with somebody. I say, look, I can feel how stuck you are, how fearful you are, how upset you are, how everything seems locked down, like you can't move it. I can feel that in you. What you need now is the perfect timing. You need the right thing at the right time. I want you to open up your mind and believe for a moment anything could happen that I don't expect that could totally change this. That's sometimes what we make. Sometimes again, I did this with a different person about maybe a month or two ago. I say, let's get some contrast in here so you can see better. I say, you have such tunnel vision about this. You can't see, right? And then I will roleplay with them what it feels like to have a very different person's perspective. Let's say that this is a man and he's, you know, talking about, you know, his girlfriend. And, you know, she won't commit to him. She doesn't. She's not sure. You know, she keeps doing things that kind of push him away a little bit. And then he has to prove that he's. He forgives her for it, which makes her feel loved. And she constantly needs that. And it's driving him crazy. And I'll say, okay, feel this other person with me, right? And I'm drawing now on the experience, the emotional energy patterns I've seen. Here's a woman who says, of course I'm going to commit to you. You're the man I've been looking for. You don't need to prove it to me anymore. I've already seen it. You've already done everything. You don't have to jump any Higher. Now I just want you to stay steady. I just want you to keep being you. And I have such faith and trust in you that as you grow and develop, I think I'm going to like the you that comes out even more. Keep being you. Keep being this man to me, right? And now it's like, what, There are people like that? Yeah, there are. You just happen to not be with one of them. Does that help you make your decision? Helps a lot. You can flow in that contrast. You can feel it. You could have people into your life who will help you feel it. You know a friend who comes in and says, oh, yeah, this is how I go. Oh, my goodness, you're right. That's what I needed to know. Sometimes I'll look into the other person, right? I'll use my empathic intuition. The world that I live in, everything is energy. People are energy. Their thoughts are energy. Their consciousness is energy. This microphone I'm speaking into right now is just a tightly packed bundle of energy. And what is energy? Well, it's my very loose term for information. Data. I always feel like Deepak when I say that. Data. Back in the day when I was working at Hay House, I worked with Deepak and all those. Yeah, data. Everything is data. It's funny, I think some of these things go so deep in. And I hear myself say them out again. Oh, where did that come from? Oh, hi. It's like I find the people who are there connected to inside myself. Do you ever do that? So this data that you are is a collection of everything that you've been, right? You're looking in another person, I'm looking in the other person, and I'm reading. Here are all their emotions. Here are all their thoughts. Here are all their experiences. Which of these are relevant to you? Which of these are connected to you? What questions do you have for them that you can't seem to get across in real words or emotional moments together? Here they are. Let's look at them. I'm a believer that the more you know, the better off you are. The better decisions you can make. Finally, sometimes when we're working to repair a relationship, we're exploring potential paths, right? This is another thing you can do in flow. You can do that. What happens if we stay together? What happens if I leave for a month? What happens if I confront about this? What happens if I gently reopen this dialogue? What happens if I take that job? What happens if you quit yours? Et cetera, et cetera? Where do these potentialities lead to, right? When you're looking ahead in flow. Think of. This is one of my favorite metaphors. Think of yourself like a comet. You know, comets are made out of ice packed hard ice, minerals, rock, and they fly through space and they have a long tail of ice crystals. It's where they've been, right? In fact, the leading edge of them, the hard rock, the hard frozen rock of them has become those crystals. It's sort of, those are the trail of their experiences behind them, where they've been. It's caused that going forward, they're constantly moving into new space. They're entering it all the time. And you can chart which way they're going. Unless something knocks them off their path, it's pretty clear which way things, you know they're going to hit. This sector of space, this, you know, area like Halley's comet, right? You can, you can tell where it's going. Same is true for most paths in your life. There's a pretty clear direction. However, you can do things to change that direction. Most people just don't out of ignorance. They don't know. They think things are just how they are and that's how they are. And they have no control. A manifester, a flow dreamer has intense control. And what you do is you look and you say, do I like this direction? Do I like where we're going? Do I like where that leads? Yes or no? If yes, let's do more of it. If no, hmm, what do we need to change? And then we call flow, we call manifesting. Let's create that change. What do we need to do next? Bring that to me. Next steps. And then I start to recycle all of these potential things we do together. I know it can seem like an extensive list, but really once you get in there, this all becomes very intuitive. You know, it'd be like explaining to somebody how to do a particular sport. You know, a baseball pitcher, you gotta wind up, you gotta crouch down, you gotta hold your back like this. You gotta like. If you had to detail it all, you could go on for pages. But that picture in the moment, it's just a pitch, right? All of that is down. It's in there. It's right. It's perfect. It's been practiced, it's known. That's how it will feel when you start working. Now you can use somebody to work with, someone like myself, someone with this awareness. You can do this on your own, go into your relationship. What do we need to do? What do we need? What's our next step? What can we give to each other? What's our paths ahead? What conversations do I want to pre pave? What triggers and patterns are we bringing up? What things do you feel about yourself or your past relationships that you're bringing into ours now? What's in our own old past relationship that we're continuing to recreate our future from? Right? All those questions, you're just problem solving here. Solve, solve, solve, solve. It really is delicious. It's effective as heck. Very effective. Okay, we have a quick break. When we get back, I'm going to give you my path to healing a relationship. There's just a few steps. It's pretty darn easy actually. Healing a relationship or even healing a a segment in a relationship. Right? One of those patches you go through. So stay with me and we'll be back together right after this. By the way, if you want to call in, do so go to my website, flow dreaming.com. look up podcast radio and you'll find the call in number. And you'll also find out if in fact you're listening to it live, because I tape this live four hours a month. You can catch me and I'll look into people for you. I can look into your relationship. I'd love to. So go check that out. And now we'll be right back after this.

It's summer and while we're on break, have you checked out MI school? In MI school, we travel together over a year through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made and how powerful you actually are. We play with intuition and flow dreaming. And you get to see exactly how you're continually co creating your future. Aren't you curious what you're doing? I ask you to bring two big goals to the table and you reach them using tools you've probably never been exposed to before. If you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. Set up a call and either I or one of my team will help you see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to join me school, well then I look forward to spending this year with you live as we work together to create miracles.

And here we are back. I am looking forward to your calls. I see some right here. Let's start with Germany. Dominique, how are you? Dominique? Hello.

Can you hear me?

I do. I hear you. How are you?

Oh my God. This is crazy.

Hi. Hi.

Thank you. Thank you so much for taking my call. Okay, let me answer my question. No, actually, first of all, thank you for Your show and for everything. For the flow, drinks and everything. Really, it's amazing. It's helped me a lot so far. Thank you for all of that.

That's great. You're welcome. So what can I do to help you?

Yes, this is actually right on time, your show. Because I've been in a relationship, I still am, and there's just a lot of drama and confusion, and I feel stuck in almost one year. And I was wondering if you could, I don't know, just give me some information on what's going on in Ted and what he's actually thinking about all this, because I feel like he's not really opening up 100%.

One, one. One second here. I lost a little bit because your phone line is coming through a little bit mushy. Who is not opening up 100%?

My partner.

My.

My boyfriend. I'm not sure if you're telling me the truth.

Okay, all right. Boyfriend troubles. All right. Can you give me his first name?

It's Frank.

Frank. Okay. Frank. Yes. All right. His name is Frank. And you're not sure if he's telling you a truth. And what is this regarding his feelings for you, his feelings for other women.

Just in general, this whole relationship? Because like I said, it's been really a lot of things happening in the last year, and it's just really. So there's much confusion, and I don't know if he's really up for this. I don't even know if I'm up for this anymore. So I was just wondering if. I don't know. That's just so much confusing.

All right, one last question about Frank. Are you two living together or separately?

No, we are living together.

You are or aren't?

Yes, we are living together.

Yes, you are. Okay. All right. The reason that came up is, to me, it feels like Frank has been creating a bit of a separate life from you. And I'm sure you've noticed this. Where is Frank? What's he doing? Is he home? Is he not home? Where is he? Which was showing me either you don't live together, and you're finding it harder and harder to know what your plans are, where you're going, what you're doing, or if you are living together. It's more and more insecurity. Why are you not around? How come we're not spending Saturday together? Who are these people? Who's this person? Right. You have a lot of questions, a lot of them having to do with simply, where is he? Where is he physically? What is he creating Outside of you. So I'm looking at him ask you about Dominique right now. What do you feel about her? You know, he sort of. He's like. He kind of feels. I have to say, you know, he feels pretty disconnected. I'm sure you know this already, so I'm trying not to tell you anything that will shock you or, you know, throw you into tears after this. But he really does feel disconnected. It's like he's with you and he's not with you. Like, sometimes. Do you ask yourself, is he just with me because he hasn't bothered to get out of the relationship? Do you ever feel that way?

Yeah, I mean, I'm really trying to be fair. If both of us are not really sure, I think. But that sounds really much like him.

Yeah. You know, and he has a bit of that sense to him, like, well, I don't have another relationship, you know, or I don't know what I want to do next. So I don't need to make any moves quickly. Everything is just fine. I'm halfway here. Halfway not. Let me tell him a few things, all right? Because he's in this sort of like, I'm waiting for something better. You know what I mean? We all know that feeling. It scares. Strikes to the fear of you. If you really love somebody, like, you don't want him to feel that way about you. How do you feel about him? I feel like I need to look in you more to know what to tell you. Whether or not just let this guy go or not. Yeah.

How do I feel about him? I mean, this is the confusing thing. I feel there's a lot of love in the Sexton Zone, but at the same time, I feel like my head already knows that we are not a good match. It's crazy. Like, I'm really divided in, like, this. Is this either this way or this way? It makes me go crazy.

Yeah. There are plenty of people that you can love deeply and know that you cannot live with them. That's totally permissible. It's common. Lots of people you can love deeply, completely, wholly. But, you know, day to day, you know, there's. It's a whole other skill set. How we construct a life together, how we interact with each other, how we help each other, how we're there for each other. All of those pieces have to come into play to complete the other half of the relationship. Love is one half of the circle. All those other ways you interact with the other half, and that's what your intellectual self is seeing. It's the other way. Excuse me. It's the other ways that are not quite connecting. My feeling is that at some point. Well, let's back up a second. I think you should flow. I think you should go into your flow. You know, you can close your eyes with me right now. And what we want to say to Frank is, you know what? I know that you feel that you've created or are creating a separate world from me, that I'm just there, this relationship is just there, and you're hanging out in it until something different or better comes along. And you know what? I love you so much. I know that that's not good enough for you. And I love myself so much. That's not good enough for me. And if you want to turn your face like a sunflower turning its face to the sun, if you want to turn your face and start looking at me and radiating all of your light and enthusiasm and your investment into me, then that will be a new conversation. And we can start that conversation. But right now, I see you facing the other way, and I have a feeling inside me that I'm supposed to go someplace else, too. So let's put into flow right now between the two of us. But the very best thing for our relationship is for the next step to come clear in a gentle way, an obvious way, a way where there's no fighting, no drama. It's just more like one of those great conversations that comes up perfectly timed. Maybe we're even talking about someone else or we watch a movie or something comes up and it's just like, yeah, have you ever thought that way? And here's how I feel. And what do you think about us? I don't know. And you realize we're actually addressing this thing now. It just sort of happened. It came up and we both acknowledged like, yeah, this is the perfect and right time. And I'm feeling really, really good about this. And we're releasing all fear about talking and having this communication. There's no fear here because we know it's just right and we're ready and flow. Make that happen for us. Make us right. Make us ready. Please let it happen exactly when it should. Okay, so if you open your eyes, what we just did there, I call it a bit of pre paving. But we're also setting up a certain condition, one that's good for both of you. Right. Notice how neither one of you is judging or blaming or, you know, being hurtful to the other. It was more like, we need the next step. And that's all that I know Right now. And I don't know how it's going to happen. I didn't even say that. All I know is that it's going to happen just the way we need it. Because this lack of clarity is driving me crazy. And I'm done with it. Just done with it. I won't give that part of myself up to this craziness anymore. Does that make sense? Yeah. All right. All right, my dear. I wish you the best. All right. I think you'll be just fine. All right, take care. Bye. Alrighty. Wow. Can you believe that? Time for another quick little breaky break and we'll be back after this. We have time for maybe one more call. If you want to jump in again, go to my website, look up podcast. You'll find the number. If you're listening live, it does broadcast Tuesdays at 12 noon Pacific Time. That's Los Angeles time on Tuesdays at 12 noon. So translate that wherever you are. Alrighty. Well, you would know if you're actually listening to it on your phone or on itunes or something, right? You know what a podcast is? Okay, we'll be back after this.

Hey, it's summer on break and just wanted to tell you this podcast, it is supported entirely, entirely by Flow dreaming.com, my website, where you can find hundreds of very cool flow dreams to purchase and download so you can begin reinventing every aspect of your life. And one thing you should really pick up is the free Flow Dreaming introduction kit. It's@flow dreaming.com too, and it teaches you this remarkable technique in detail and fast. So go to flow dreaming.com, get it now. And while you're there, check out my blog as well.

Lots of love.

Now back to the show.

Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Thank you, my lovely producer, Barb, for reminding me I had promised we were going to talk about the path to healing a relationship. Something very simple that you can follow, you can put into place right now, no matter what dilemma is happening for you. Number one, right? Begin flowing on this every day. Really? Flow dream on it every day. Now, if you know what Flow Dreaming is, this doesn't mean worry about it every day. Try and puzzle through and dig in and figure out what's going on every day. Flow Dreaming means my relationship is being resolved. We are coming to clarity. We know our next step. We know what it is we need to share or break through or move into. We know if it's time to go different ways. We know if it's time to come closer together. I feel this and I Know this, I intend this, I expect this. The problem, the actual issue practically becomes irrelevant because you're going for the bigger piece here. You're going for the emotional end points. That is a phrase I use a lot. I don't want you to solve just the next thing, the current thing, the thing in front of you. You're going to have stuff to solve. Your entire relationship that does not go away every year. It's going to be something new coming up with new people. It's going to be a mother in law thing. It's going to be a you're not parenting the kids right thing. It's going to be a you don't have enough sex with me thing. It's going to become a why don't you work or get a better job thing. It's always to be something. Always, always, always. The emotional endpoint is we know what we have to do to resolve this. And we're actively creating it and we're allowing it in. And you're there and I'm there. And if you're not there, then I ask you, I invite you, come, let's do this. And if you still don't come along, then I take the next step and I say, we need to do this. And I pursue it to whatever point it has to be pursued to until we make that change and we do that next thing. You flow. Dream on this, you create, you pre act. This is fabulous, fine, gorgeous, preaction. After all, probably a big problem in your relationship is you don't know what action to take, right? Stop trying to figure out the action. That's your flow telling you it's time to go into pre action preact. So you get that next series of best actions right in front of you. The second thing that I do in repairing a relationship is to begin trusting, right? This is going to resolve. It's going to resolve in the best possible way. I absolutely know it's going to resolve. And further, I don't know how it's going to happen. I don't know how it's going to happen. That's number three. Prepare for the unexpected. I know you're like, what? That makes me nervous. The best kind of unexpected. See, what people do is they run themselves to these little dead ends in the maze of their relationship. They run to the maze's dead end, then they start kicking against the wall, they kick against the stone and my foot hurts and my fist hurts and nothing. That's probably where you're at when you reach that point of frustration and the relationship is not flowing. That's why you need to say, ah, something will happen. I don't know how it will happen. I know it seems totally unsolvable to me right now, but flow is weaving together. My future, my partner's future. And there are things that could come into this that I have no idea what they are. Maybe my partner will be magically whisked away to a relationship seminar as part of her work and everything will change. Maybe my partner will have a revelation one night and everything will change. Maybe. Who knows? Don't know. Let flow give you the option of you not knowing how it will work out for your best because that is how you will end up. Trusting that it actually can work best, work out. And then finally, what I do if I want to repair something is I release my attachment to how I think it should end. Right? This kind of goes along with emotional end points. But you know the question, should we stay together? Should we divorce? Should we break up? Should I pursue this more? Does he like me? Does she? Is she trying to get rid of me? Right. Go to the point instead of all of those crazy, crazy making questions. We are connecting. We are growing. I am always staying in my best self, in my, you could call it, highest self. I keep my highest emotional goals for me and a relationship in front of me. Now, partner, if you're gonna match those with me, you're going to be perfect. You've been looking for this too. But partner, if you're not going to match these with me, it's okay. I do free you. I do let you go where your next match actually is. And there's no part of me that says no. I've got to stranglehold this thing. I've got to hold on. It's got to be good enough. You know what? Good enough is inside you. We all have a level of good enough. For some of us, it's a B minus. For some of us, it's an A. And maybe you doubt yourself. Maybe say, well, that's why I've been single my whole life. Or maybe you say, that's why I've had a thousand relationships, because I keep getting into the wrong ones over and over. I never seem to learn. Let all that go. You're moving into the next relationship that is good for you. You're pursuing a relationship that is good for you. You're growing a relationship that is good for you. Good for you. Both. Both. That's critical. Critical. You flow for your partner as much as you flow for yourself. Whatever you wish for yourself. You also wish for them. Never wish anything for them. You don't wish for yourself. Right. That prevents you from doing things like I wish, you know, you'd be gotten back for that. Or no, you don't want to create that in your energy. If you create it for somebody else, you're by default also creating it for yourself. All the clients I work with, I'm not creating, you know, breakups and divorces and backstabbings and. Heck, no. I'm saying let's get clear on this. Let's bring this up. Let's. Let's find a path for this. Let's find out a path of agreement. Let's find a compromise. Let's find a more than good enough. If I would take it myself, then I'll give it to my client. Make sense? All right. So it's such a quiet day out there. I am shocked. I know that a lot of people are graduating these weekends, and that's a big part of it. So strange, early, strange summer absences of people. I know you're out there. I know you're listening. I can't believe this is usually one of those topics where, like, the phone is jammed the entire time. Look at my boyfriend for me, please. Please. All right, let's do a quick flow dream then, where we'll get some clarity. And believe me, hey, if you've got a good relationship right now, boy, you could always use a little bit of, you know, massaging and, you know, fluff it up. You can. You can make it look good. You can make it look better. Do that. It's healthy. Your eyes are closed and you're releasing into your flow. Relaxing, letting your shoulders drop, letting your neck release. You're feeling good. You're remembering. Flow is not meditation. It's not hypnosis. Flow is emotion. Flow is power. Flow is energy. Flow is alignment. Flow is a sensation that you are moving forward into your future. And your future is a destiny that you are creating for yourself right now. That's what you are. And you can feel that you are that comet. You are beautiful and glittering. You are gossamer, racing across the skies, racing across the energies of your life. Racing forward. And right next to you is your partner. Your partner in crime, your partner in this joyful and juicy adventure. Your partner who said to you, hey, I'll help you get to know you if you help me get to know me. And you said, deal. Let's do it. You and your partner and. And some of that getting to know you and getting to know Me means, whoa. You showed me a lot of triggers and patterns. You brought up stuff that I need to heal and get rid of. Thank you. And. And some of that partner is going to be. I can see that you've already healed that, and that's not in you anymore. Great. I'm also looking for someone to take me to the next level of depth and intimacy and connection. We could be experiencing any number of agreements together. What are they? Let's do them, let's feel them, let's drink them in together. And when the time comes that we've finished them, that we're kind of done with it, we'll make new choices, we'll figure out where to go from there. Does this mean now that we've created a beautiful, strong partnership, an equilibrium of friendship, did we create a basis, a foundation for raising a family and buying property and growing ourselves in the world? Is that what we did? Or did we just heal up and resolve enough stuff because of each other that we're now ready to go out and find someone else to move into that next phase with? Age doesn't matter, does it? Does it matter that I'm 15 or 25 or 50? No, it doesn't matter at all. I'm a person. You're a person. We don't move through the timelines that society dictates. Yes, there are bells, curves. I can see those. A lot of people do this around this time. A lot of people do that around that time. But I've never been one to keep myself constrained to what everybody else says. I explore what I need to explore when I am ready to explore it. And if you're my partner, you're doing the same thing. So there's no rush, there's no fear, there's no urgency. We're going to do this. We're going to be this. We're going to bloom into this. I want what's best for you, and I want what's best for me. And that is what's best for us, for our growth, for our love to unfold and grow together. Little tendrils coming together to create something. Something really strong. Even if that means we don't make a life together. We made growth together. We will always do that. We made experience together. We make it still or we end making it. In my flow, there is so much to be seen, felt and had. Yours too. And with that, we give each other a kiss, a hug, and we say, I'll see ya back in the physical. And when you're ready, you open your eyes and that was your Flow dream. That was a pretty nice conversation, huh? I hope it helped you. All right, until next week. My love to you all. Can't wait to talk again. Until then, Happy Flow Dreaming.

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