#468 Becoming an Awesome Receiver

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Oh, my God.

You were so on target. You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough.

Breathe. It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. And you know that feeling, when you touch it, it just spreads through you.

Thank you for taking my call.

I don't know why I feel like crying. I think I just feel your love, of course. And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS. I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow Dre. Before we get started, a really quick note. If you found this show on itunes or by downloading the Flow Dreaming podcast app, it would mean so much if you took a moment to review it. That is how other people will find this show and get the same great value out of it that I hope you're getting. So my huge thanks and sparkle and flow go to all of you who just take that few moments to go write a quick little message of telling other people. This is good. Go listen. Thanks. Now off we go to the show, and indeed, here we are together. Another episode of Flow Dreaming coming right at you. I'm Summer McStravik. Thank you all for being with me. I was thinking as I was sitting here waiting for the, you know, the introduction to end, just how much I love doing this program, being with you each week for as long as I have. And I say this often. It's kind of like when you tell your kids you love them. Like, you can't say it too much. I love spending this time every week with. With you. I was calculating in my head, I'm at around 500 episodes now. 10 years. 500 episodes. And if that is roughly two hours to produce each episode, which obviously is a minimum. I mean, a show alone is an hour. Not to mention the time that goes into creating the topic, creating notes, it, uploading all of the stuff, that's about a thousand hours. And so I thought, well, what's a 40 hour work week if I have put in a thousand hours? And I realized that's 25 solid work weeks of my life. Six months of nothing but podcast creation, right? And what is this show? It's a pure, free teaching vehicle. That's it. Right. So make note of this because I'm going to circle back around as we get into our topic today, which is about receiving, what it really means to receive. And it's an important topic because chances are good if you're here. Oop, there goes my phone. See how this podcast goes, all the little interruptions, trash trucks and phones buzzing. Well, maybe I don't put quite two hours into it. Oh, I'm kidding, kidding. What I was saying was chances are good if you're here, it's because you have an interest in how to create better in your life. Law of attraction brought you here, or meditation brought you here. Whatever search terms you use that brought you to flow dreaming, it's often because you want to create something different. Change something up, level something. Learn how to use source energy, learn how to connect to your own inner power and strength. Learn how to let go and let flow. It also means that if you fall into this category of people who want to be rampant creators, you may not be so good at receiving. I mean, think about this. Think about the dichotomy. Creating and receiving, those are very different, almost opposite equations. Creating is making things impacting. Receiving is allowing things in. Giving to yourself or allowing yourself to receive from others. I've had some really strong lessons in receiving. It's probably one of the biggest ones that's come up for me in the last month or so. Those of you who have been following my newsletter know that I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, invasive, meaning it had metastasized. And I have been really closely examining my life, my teachings, my work, my family, my health choices, my awareness. What do I need to learn next? How do I embrace this? In fact, that's what my last show was about, how to embrace. And the email that I sent out today is about receiving. And I want to follow it up today with a podcast to just sort of fill in a few of the additional pieces. Now, I'm a little bit past my mastectomy at this point, but it brought up a lot. And that's the point I want to share with you today. How to receive. Especially if you're someone like me and all you want to do is create and make and go ahead and get further and expand and grow. And you realize you can only do that to the degree you receive. And if you're not receiving at some point, you will come to a sudden halt because the universe wants to balance you out, wants to balance you out. So that's the topic of today's program. I also want to just take a second to thank all of you guys. I received probably 400 responses through my blog and just personal email responses to my last email and I can't possibly email you all back. And again, I've been feeling guilty, right? Talk about receiving like I should. You know, my mom taught me you write thank you notes, you know, and even an email. And I thought 400 thank you notes. Oh my gosh, I thought, wait a second, Summer, you're supposed to be healing right now and you're thinking about, you're feeling the guilt of not being able to individually reply to everyone. So I want you all to realize I love your emails. I have read everyone. I've read every one of your blog responses and I'm thanking you and I'm receiving it and I'm worrying less about letting you know that I've received it and giving you gratitude in return. There, I said it. Okay, Let's get into our topic here. All of us who are struggling to receive now, you may not even realize that you struggle to receive, right? For me, this really didn't come clear until really recently. I thought, I can receive. You know, my friends hug me and I receive their love and I receive their confidences. I receive them, you know, coming over and bringing pizza for me. You know, day to day stuff. I receive, I receive. But if you really are intent on expanding and using flow to expand and receiving your personal power, you are going to continuously be exposed to deeper levels of whatever it is that you want to grow or you want to expand into. What do I mean by that? I think I can receive? Apparently Flo thinks that I'm not so great at it. So I'm being pushed to receive more. And the more uncomfortable I get receiving, the more I start to squirm and try and wiggle out of it, the more I realize, ooh, there's a problem here. I hope right now it's ringing a little bell in your own mind. There are things that you are squirming over that you are uncomfortable with that you know, you shut down and shy away from, right? Those are the things I want you to hold in your mind through the rest of this episode. I'm going to put out several different models of the bad receiver, quote, unquote, bad receiver. I feel like I'm talking football now, right? And I want you to see if any of these trigger you if you reject them. If you say, oh, that's not me, oh, no, no, no. If you get uncomfortable or if you're like, ugh, I want to shut off this podcast now. Ding, ding, ding. We hit a nerve. This is good work. Over givers start with those of us who are over givers, right? 500 podcasts, 25 weeks of my life, no real return, directly connected to the show. Yes, I do expose people to flow dreaming. Yes. Sometimes you come into the manifesting store, which, as I always state, pretty much foots the bill for producing this program. It has been wonderful to expose flow dreaming to the world, but there's no guarantees. It's not like anybody is paying me a dollar for every show that they listen to. No guarantees. I give. I teach because I want to, because I like to. I like to share. There's a part of me that says it should be free. There are people who would never listen if they had to pay, but when they start listening, eventually they recognize, oh, my God, I need this. And then if they want to pay, if they want to buy a flow dream, if they want to move on to the next level, they have the opportunity. So the podcast satisfies that need in me to give to everyone. Right? To not feel that I only do it for the money, which is something that a lot of us have strung up inside of ourself. I can't do my reiki and charge people for it, Then I might just end up doing it for the money. Right? This is a head trip you must let go of. You will not advance until you release that. If you're not a person who does things just for the money, you will never be a person who does things just for the money. And you already know that. You don't need to continuously guard against it and keep yourself small. Because of that, I will always create this podcast or some means of teaching for free. Now, here's where it becomes a danger to me. It can become a comfort zone. I give and I give and I give. And again, to go back to all of you who are giving away your stuff for free, your healing, even your coaching, your advice, Right. You know, you could be a coach, but you don't. But you find yourself coaching your friends all the time anyway. All of you, what's happening is that your need for validation is overwhelming or outweighing everything else. What I mean is what you're receiving back from people is validation. You're afraid if they pay for it, they won't ask for it from you anymore. They won't receive it from you anymore. Oh, my God. Then what would happen if you couldn't give it? If you had to stop all that giving and you stopped receiving all that validation. It creates a feeling of paralysis in you. You're afraid if you start charging, what if people stop coming? Your need for validation is greater and that's why you don't. You get what I'm saying? And validation means people saying, thank you. Yes, I love some. Of course I won't say no. How could I say no? It's free. Do you see what this is showing you? And the more you're doing this, the more your life is filled up with free giving like this, the more you are existing, living on this validation. Validation doesn't pay your bills, okay? It's just straight up doesn't pay your bills. And I want to separate this from a very beautiful and ancient practice of giving, which means giving to those who are less well off, giving to those who are in need, taking care of people, taking care of animals, relieving suffering, right? This is beautiful. And this kind of giving doesn't need payment back. The payment is the fact that you have given. So let's set that aside. What I'm talking about is the day to day over giving because we are all doing something to pay our bills. And if you're finding yourself slaving away at work you hate and not charging for those things that you actually love, then you are in this trap and you need to get out of it. So again, circle back around. My podcast fulfills my need to give to you. However, it also opens the door. People who want to move deeper, they can now put themselves into the next category and they are self selecting for it. They are saying, oh my God, this is changing my life. The way you talk works, the way you think works. This flow dreaming stuff works. Tell me what you're doing because I want to do it and I want to copy you. And I go, great, let me give you the next step. Let me move you into the next category, right? Come join me, school, you know, come have private coaching, come get some playlists. Here's what you do next. And I have this for every level, right? A playlist is like 20 bucks, almost nothing. But it's the first step. You seeing how this works? Now let's go on to the next person, the next over giver and terrible receiver. That is those of us who pride ourselves on our self sufficiency. I can do it. I've got this. I don't need anybody. I can stand on my own two feet. I can weather anything and everything. I've proved it to myself. This is a beautiful quality to have in the right measure. I have heaps of this quality. So much of it in fact that I have to unlearn it from time to time. I have to recognize if I do everything myself, then I offer no opportunities to my team to come play with me and be with me in the experience. I also limit myself because it's just one person now instead of a team. And a team can be my family, my friends, my peers, my co workers, my employees, my partner. These are all part of my team. If I am not allowing them to do things with me and for me as part of my team, if I am so into my self sufficient, see, then ultimately they're not going to feel connected to me. They can't ever give to me. If they can't ever give to me, you know what happens? They feel like what is my point in your life? And they will leave. Self sufficiency then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If you have found yourself isolated, if you're feeling like I don't have enough friends, I don't have a peer network, I don't have people I can call on for advice and mentorship. I don't have somebody whose shoulder I can cry on. Look to yourself because there have been people there who've wanted to do this for you. They want to. They want to be that person for you. When we reach that state in our life and by the way, those of us who are self sufficient usually have a secondary energy pattern going on. And believe me, Flo is responding to all of this, creating a mirror for you in your life that continuously makes this seem and feel very real to you. Because in fact you're saying it's real. So Flo is just repeating it back to you. She says it's real. Okay, it's real. She says it's real, okay, it's real. Well, let's give her more things and make her feel it's real. We also tend to think that we do things better than most other people. And in fact we often do, right? So then it feels even more to us. Well, I'm better at this than other people. I will get it done faster. I will get it done quicker. I will get it done right. You know what this does? Everybody around you knows that you feel this way. Why do they want to, why would they want to step in and help you and be part of your team? Why would they want to love you? Why would they want to be there for you? Be that ear for you, be that support for you? You're better than them even if it's a secret thing, and then you feel secretly shameful for feeling that way, I shouldn't feel better than other people. But if you're not letting them help you, you do you feel that way. You know what's happened in your life somewhere. And I know because I've been through this too. You have a lack of trust somewhere in your life. Trust in other people got broken. Got broken. And even as I say that, some of you are going zing, zing. And you know exactly what I mean. This could be your friends back in grade school broke your trust when they started lying about you and, you know, excluding you. This could be your parents when they started favoring one of your sisters or brothers over you. This could be your ex boyfriend, who was the most wonderful guy in the world until you caught him cheating on Instagram. This could be your wife who was the most wonderful woman in the world until she said one day, I'm leaving you, and you had no idea why. At some point, your trust in other people got degraded. Then there was probably an additional kicker, right, that they. What's the saying for it? Puts the lid on the pot or it seals the deal, right? Something that made it even more true. It was sort of true. And then bam. Oh, my gosh. And that's when you began backing away from trusting. You know, I had coffee this morning with one of my friends, and I trust her. I trust her. She is way better than me at a lot of things. And when I'm with her, I go into receiving mode. And then I think, well, why would she like me? You know, I don't even help her. I don't. I can't give back to her the way she gives to me. And I stop myself. No, you're. You're doing. You obviously doing something for her because she loves you. Yet I'm the receiver. And I accept that I am learning to develop trust that there are people better than me in a lot of different things. A lot of different things in loving, in business, in parenting. And I want to be that person who can listen and learn and receive that. And to do that, I have to start trusting. You know, I had a funny experience again just last night. A friend of mine wanted to come over and, you know, bring dinner because obviously I'm still recovering. And. And I said, great, wonderful. Sounds good. You know, what time will I see you? She said, is pizza okay? I said, great. And then she got here and we got into a nice conversation, and she said, you know, in the past, you would have Said, well, what kind of pizza? How many pizzas? What kind of salad? How many salads? She said, this time you just said, wonderful. And you just totally gave up control. She said, it was so nice. You trusted me. And I was like, really? I used to be like that. She said, yeah, I didn't even know. I'm like, well, of course I trust you to bring a good meal, right? This to me, she wasn't calling me out. Do you understand? I mean, in a way she was, but the way I received it was she was showing me my growth. And I was like, wow, damn, that's great. I'm so proud of myself. Like, this is what, again, I'm going to tie this back to flow, because sometimes I forget to. It's so deep in me that I forget to state it for you. Flow is what brings you to this, this place in yourself. Being in flow, releasing control even as you learn to gain control. It's a beautiful system of teachings where you grow with effort and yet effortlessly. Where you learn to give up control even as your life gives you more and more control. Receiving is now part of that slow dreaming. For many people, their doorway in, like I stated at the beginning, it's because they want to manifest, they want to create, they want more control over their life. And they get six months in, they get a year in, and they go, whoa, I'm having to give up so much control. And I'm like, great, you are exactly on target. You are where you need to be. And you can imagine, you know, you need to have a mentor or teacher to tell you this. Otherwise you just give, you know, throw up your hands and go, I must be doing this all wrong. No, you're doing it all right. And I know because I see it. I see it in myself, I see it in my students, I see it in my friends. So let me just add a little bit more before we go to break because there's a ton of you guys wanting calls today. One more thing about being a good receiver. Some of us also have a problem receiving from others because we feel guilt that we shouldn't be taking it, that other people are worse off, that we should be able to do it again on our own. It plays into the self sufficiency thing. We will feel, for instance, that I shouldn't take it from this person because it's very hard for them to give. They have less than me. I shouldn't take anything from them. I had a good lesson in this about a week ago. A friend of mine, she's single she works really hard. You know, her pay is very low. She takes care of her mom. She doesn't have money to fly around. You know, she barely gets through every month. And she sent me a check for one of my children's birthdays, just 20 bucks. And I said, you know, I never cashed a check. I feel bad. I don't think, you know, my son doesn't need it and we don't need it. You need this money more. And she said, please cash it. And I realized I was hurting her feelings. Yes, it means something to give that to her, to us. Yes. It's. You know, that 20 for her is like 50 or 100 would be for me. It means something. It's a pinch because she loves us and she cares. I was pulling the rug out from under her and I went, oh, my God, you're right. I will completely do this. And I will put that twenty dollar bill in my son's hand and said, auntie so and so has given this to you. Right? This is very different from me feeling guilty. My guilt. I was indulging myself with a feeling of guilt. Indulging. If I was really a great giver, I would have said, I'm gonna give you this. I'm totally giving to you. Thank you. I'm gonna give you that pleasure. I'm gonna give you our excitement. I'm gonna give you my son's happy face. I'm gonna give that to you. So please keep this all in mind, right? People care about you. People want to help you. If there's a pattern in you that's telling you, they don't care, they don't want to help you. You're better than them. You shouldn't take from them. Get over it, right? Because then you will create isolation. You're the one who's thinking this. Everyone else is standing around scratching their head, saying, why is it so hard to get close to you? Why? And maybe there is still that pattern running, that energy in your mind, that emotional conduit that's saying, nobody liked me in sixth grade. Why would they like me now? Give it up. You don't need it. Your flow can't take you any further as long as that's there. This is a ceiling we're talking about, right? Flow. Dreaming is about punching through ceilings with joy. This is a ceiling. It's time to flow past it and feel what that feels like. And, yeah, it's going to be uncomfortable. It's like learning to swim. Am I going to drown? I'm no good at this. Dang. How come everybody else can swim but me? Do they think I look funny? And then you reach the other point, which is, oh, my God, I'm floating. Oh, my gosh, I can kick my legs and stay up in water. Oh, my gosh, this is so fun. Oh, my gosh, what have I been missing? That's where we want to get you. That's where Flo wants to get you. Okay, when we get back from our quickie little break, we're going to go to some calls and then we're going to do an awesome Flow dream to help you open up to receiving. Right after this.

Hey, it's summer on break and just wanted to tell you this podcast. It is supported entirely by FlowDreaming.com, my website, where you can find hundreds of very cool Flow Dreams to purchase and download so you can begin reinventing every aspect of your life. And one thing you should really pick up is the free Flow Dreaming introduction kit. It's@flow dreaming.com too, and it teaches you this remarkable technique in detail and fast. So go to flowdreaming.com, get it now. And while you're there, yeah, check out my blog as well. Lots of love. Now back to the show.

Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. I almost completely forgot I have a playlist recommendation. Actually two. So if everything I've said is just got you tingling all over and uncomfortable and you're like, oh God, I know I got to do this. She suddenly made this so important. And I've been trying not think about this and reject this and put this off until later and saying it wasn't important for me to tackle this thing, well, now is time, honey bunny. So come on and do it Playlist. My suggestions are Overnight riches. This is in the manifesting store@flowdreaming.com okay. Manifesting store, flowdreaming.com Overnight Riches is, yes, focused on money. Two of the Flow dreams on there are about money. The other one is about receiving. Allowing. The art of allowing and receiving. And the reason I'm recommending it is because it's a meditation playlist. This is different than my Flow Dream playlist. Flow Dreams Active emotional engaged meditations. These are ones you play as your fallen asleep at night. You can let them run through your headphones all night long if you want to. And I find that when it comes to receiving in particular, it sometimes, especially if we're really blocked, it's hard for us to actively start receiving. It's almost better to let it seep into Us. And that's what the meditation playlist does. So overnight riches is great. The other one I recognize recognize is the Ask and I will receive playlist. Right. Ask and I will receive. This one has a focus on problem solving. You ask what your need is. You ask for the, you know, the problem to be resolved, and then you allow it to be resolved. You allow the right things to come and happen for you. So it's a little different take on receiving. So depending on what sounds a little more exciting to you, pick one or either or both and hop on it. All right. Calls, calls, calls. Who do we have? Lyla in Portland. Hi, Lila, are you there?

Yes, I am.

Ah, you're live. You're on air. What's going on?

Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm talking to you. This is amazing.

Receive it, darling.

I'm totally receiving it.

Crazy.

First of all, I just want to wish you healing and love and strength, and everything that you're going through will pass and you'll come back stronger than ever because you're just an amazing being. So I wish you the very, very best.

Well, thank you. I try my hardest.

You are doing. You are doing it.

What? Anyway, what's happening? You're doing it. Yes.

Let's see. I bought your prosperity challenge a few weeks ago, and I want to dedicate myself and commit myself to doing it every day. However, I have some external resistance, mostly linked to my boyfriend who is going through bankruptcy and financial strain. He's got a lot going on that is very painful, and I love him with all my heart and I'm a nurturer and I'm a healer, and I just want to fix him and fix his life. I know I make everybody happy, but I understand now that it doesn't work that way, that I have to not fracture my own flow for others. So that's what I've been doing. I've been on it. I would listen to one of your wonderful, like, the first one day one, day two, day three, I would keep going. And then on day five, he would come home and I would be like, he'd be so stressed out, but that it would take me away from what I'm trying to achieve for myself. And I would just sit there and make him feel better and get him some food, and he's just so consumed by his pain that I take it on and it just ruins my momentum of receiving what I've been working on so hard. Ok. Yeah. And I start resenting him and I don't want to do that. I love him with all my heart, and I want to love him through his pain. That's what it's about, is just be there for him when he needs me. But I feel like I'm hurting myself in the process, and I want to stop doing that. I want to shield myself from all this.

But still, your question. Your problem is brilliant. You are speaking for probably 500 other people who are listening right now in the exact same place your boyfriend is and substitute boyfriend for parent, brother, etc. Anybody. Providing a beautiful source of contrast for you. Talk about divine timing. Here you are up, leveling, changing, going beyond something inside yourself, and your boyfriend is showing you exactly what you're leaving. And the more you leave it, the more he escalates his drop into it. Okay? Contrast. Beautiful. It's like your flow is saying, now that you're taking this on, we're really going to show you it in all of its ugly beauty. Okay.

I thought of it that way.

Yeah.

I thought it was me. I'm like, what am I doing wrong?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So this is a beautiful opportunity. Okay? Your key right now is learning to create boundaries. And I have been realizing I'm, you know, one of my very next flow dreams I'm making is how to create boundaries. A boundary creation, flow dream. This one will be for you, my dear. I'll have two. Lila. I'll put a little scrawl of. What do you call it? Dedication to you. Your job is to continue moving into this. If you get stuck at day five, stay in day five for three nights. Stay there for five nights. Notice where you're getting stuck. Notice when he's pulling you out. When he's pulling you out the most. He's tugging on a trigger inside you, right? And you can see that trigger. And the trigger is you feeling like, oh, gosh, guilt. I shouldn't be doing this when he's doing that. That's. I should be giving to him and helping him first, right? He's the drowning man. I'm not. He's the drowning man who will pull you down with him. You have to get secure and anchored in your own boat before you have the strength to reach up and bring him in with you. And that's the boundary. Because inside you, you're saying, well, I feel like, what if he just falls to pieces while I'm getting strong? Then he does. Let him have that opportunity. Let him have it. You are there for him. You are present for him. You are listening to him. You are still Giving. But you're not playing in it with him any longer. He's a big boy, right? He is doing this so he can get through this. He's just taking it to a bigger extreme than you. Are you hearing me? Uh. Oh, you just dropped out. You did? No, I'm here.

Oh, are you here?

Hold on a second. Maybe it's my earphones. Be right back.

Okay.

Oh, I think it was my earphones. Okay. So it's just.

He wears his pain and he's suffering like a cloak. Like, this is what I'm about. I'm a big ball of pain, and I'm like, that's not what you're about. That's not your identity. I try to get him out of that state.

So here. I don't want you to be afraid then that you're going to grow past them. Okay? That's what a lot of women do. I'm going to grow past you, and then I won't love you as much, and then you're going to disappoint me, and I'm going to fall out of love with you, and I'm going to sacrifice my relationship to my own growth. Okay. Biggest fear that is lack thinking at its finest. Because what you're saying in that sentence is, I give up on you, and I don't believe in you. I don't believe in him. He's not gonna. He's not gonna make it with me. He's not equal to me. I'm better than him. Right? That's what I was talking about in the show.

Mm. Absolutely.

Are you better than him? I don't know. You don't know?

I don't. I hope not.

So don't give up. I don't want say.

I don't.

I am doing this. Look at me. Watch me. Feel me. I will be a model. And if you step up and into it, you do, and we go forward together. And if you can't step up and into it, that's fine. I go ahead alone.

This energy is so murky lately that it's just almost don't want to be around him because of that.

Yeah. Then take your time. Like I said, you need to solidify. You need to get strong. You can't pull him out of the water when your own boat is so tippy. You see that image? I see you doing it.

You're a genius. Your words just jolt every. They don't resonate. They jolt me back into like, this is right. You're on the right path. It's amazing. Your Voice. I listen to you religiously, and you have changed my life. You really have. I just felt like I was lost. Kind of going right, left, right, left. Oh, wait, there's summer. And I was skeptic at first because I had so much doubt within me, and I was like, no, she's. She's not the real deal.

But you are.

You are so genuine and honest, and you're engaging, and you talk from experience. It makes you unique. And thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much for everything that you do.

You brought tears to my eyes. My heart is so open right now. Seriously, you're making me cry. Thank you. Okay.

Thank you so much, and I wish you the very best. And I'm listening to you every day. I'm going to talk to you again. I want to be part of mi school, but I know it's. You know, I'm on the waiting list, though.

I know. I'm sorry. I can't start one any sooner. Isn't it so funny how divine timing worked out? I knew I wasn't going to be able to start it till 2016, and it turns out that's at the end of my. My main phase of therapy. And I'm like, flo knows what's going on.

Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for your time.

Your homework is to get back into the prosperity challenge to get religious with it. Okay. You know, make flow your religion for a little while.

Mm. I will already.

Already have an altar, so I'm on strong, strong boat. I want to get you out of the boat and onto the shore. Okay. And don't give up on him. Right. You're not better than him. He can do this. He's a big boy. Allow him to, you know, if it gets dangerous and he gets into a deep depression or something, you'll take care of him. But let him grow. You be his source of contrast. Okay? All right. My love to you. Be in flow, and I'll talk to you again. Quick break. Oh, my God. It's already time. I was hoping to get to more calls, but I do need to do a flow dream. So quick break, and we'll see what happens when I get back. Right after this.

It's summer, and while we're on break, have you checked out mi school? In mi school, we travel together over a year through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made, and how powerful you actually are. We play with intuition and flow, dreaming.

And you.

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Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Let's try and sneak another call in real quick before we get to our flow dream. Cindy in Oregon. How are you?

Hi, Summer.

Hi.

Oh my gosh. I can't believe I'm talking to you, Peter.

Why do you guys all say that?

First time ever calling you.

Oh, well, I'm glad you took the leap. What's happening in your life?

I need to know. I've been in a long term marriage for 33 years and I've known him since I was 15 and only been with him. I need to know if this is still a good relationship for me to be in.

Okay, tell me his first name. Did you say Bob? Bob. Okay. And what feelings are coming up for you that are creating the. The doubt and confusion?

We've been going through some really rough stuff. He had an emotional affair and I had intuitioned about and I caught him right in the middle of it. Yeah, I'm trying to work yourself that, you know, it's just really, really hard.

Yeah. Are your kids grown up and out?

No kids.

No kids. Okay. All right, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to look at you, I'm going to look at him. You know the first feeling I'm getting from him. You're in this too though. You both share it. You're both in a kind of discouraged despair. And I don't know what to do. I don't know. It's a giving up feeling. It's a giving up feeling. You both feel it like you just don't know what to do.

And that's exactly what I wrote in the letter today.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like I see you, like both of you just sort of spreading. You know when a person stands at you and they have their palms open like what do I do where I'm in despair about this? Okay. So that's the energy that is circling you. You know what you guys, you both feel to me I'm not going to put anybody in the wrong at this point. Even though he stepped out and he started to seek sustenance, let's call it that, Sustenance from someone else. Let's pretend for a moment that you also need sustenance. You just happen to have not found anybody who tempted you. Okay. But you are both in a state, the same state of needing emotional connection, sustenance. And something I could only describe as a kind of zippiness, a flavor, a reign, recognition. Right. Like a jolt that makes you feel alive and awake.

That would be nice.

Yeah. Yeah. And you can. You would be the first to admit. Yes, we haven't felt alive and awake for years. We haven't invigorated, inspired one another. It's like slowly rolling downhill, like a cart rolling downhill for years. And now you're at the bottom.

My sister calls it a business relationship.

Yes. That's what you guys have. Okay. So what you're both craving is a need for zip, for pizazz, for reconnection, and an injection. And I don't even want you to think that the person he's done it with is necessarily the right person, that he's wanting to run off and leave. The primary motivation has been I need to feel alive because I'm starting to not feel that way. And you need it as desperately as he needs it. So I'm hoping this is giving you clarification of sort of what drove you to this, and you know what drove you to it is what contains the cure. You either decide to get this zip and excitement together or you decide to take time apart, seek it outside of you. The question is, if you seek it outside of you, if you take three months apart, will you find the motivation and desire to come back together or not? And that's the big fear. The feeling like we have to make the decision right now, and once we do, it's irrevocable. It's not. It's not irrevocable.

He thinks it'll be irrevocable because I've actually said the separation thing. And, yep, he goes, once I'm out of here, I'm never coming back. Then, you know.

Yep, that's it. That's that black and white. And it's not. It's because he can't. He's. He's. He's feeling about himself that once I detach, I won't come back. I will lose it. I will lose the mooring. It's like losing his compass. He won't know where to Find you again. And he will get lost in another direction. He doesn't have faith that you will reach out and pull him back in again.

I'm trying to pull him back in right now.

Yeah, so this is something. I'm just going to put a little seed in his mind about this discussion. Okay, Bob just want you to know she will pull you back in once she gets her needs met as well. She's not going to pull you into the same thing you were in before. She has no desire to do that. When she invites you in, it's like inviting you to a whole different dance. A whole different dance, a whole different building, a whole different hotel, a whole different life. She's not going to invite you in until she knows what that is, what it feels like, what you would feel like together. It's not like cutting a net and leaving you to drift. But she knows what you both need. And you need to listen to her. You need to trust her. She knows why you did this. She knows. So listen. Listen. Your door is wide open and you made this for yourself. And you have a beautiful wife who's stepping in. And she knows what your next step is. Listen. And even if she's unsure sometimes, she's got really good intuition. You can trust her. Can you give up a little of yourself to that right now? She's not going to chastise you, yell at you, scream at you, hate you. Yes, she's got those feelings, but you can still trust her. Okay, I plopped that in his head.

How do you take it?

He listened.

Oh, my God.

He honest to God, listened. I can't say that he was embracing it, but he wasn't running away. He just listened straight up. Okay? Your job is to reiterate those words. Okay? Reiterate them in a letter, reiterate them in a conversation. Okay? You're going to show up as something else. You're welcome. You take care, Cindy. My overall feeling is you guys could be one of those couples who come back together like those people who marry again twice. You could be one of those. Because what you're seeking really isn't outside of you in another person. It's a way of living that got lost.

Okay, I agree. Thank you.

So welcome to Care. And that leaves us to our Flow dream. By the way, for those of you who are new to the program, what I was just doing there was using flow to just go in and read a situation. Right? Flow is the paint of the universe. It contains all information everywhere. And you can write to it or you can Read from it. And I was just reading from it, reading her, reading him, reading the situation surrounding them and reading where the different directions could go, Right? That's what manifesting is, reading what potential different directions there are and which one feels the best, which one's going to move you to where you want to be. Okay, so flow dreaming, what we're about to do now, very briefly, just like a three minute one, just to pop the cork of receiving, so to speak. Flow dreaming is an emotion based technique. It's not meditation, not hypnosis, not creative visualization. It's where we get your emotional self stirred in connected, where we move you into that place of alignment. And I want you to feel, feel, feel it. Eyes closed, relaxing, nice deep breath all the way down from your abdomen and releasing it. And continue these nice deep breaths, shoulders dropping, jaw releasing. And you're feeling yourself inside your body. You inside your body. Your body a beautiful container. And every day your body receives, it receives continuously. It receives air every few seconds. It receives nutrients when you give it food, it receives water replenishing you, hydrating you, feeding your body. It receives stimulation and exercise as you walk, as you move. Your body knows how to receive. It couldn't live without receiving. It's natural, it's instinctual. And yet what about the rest of you? Do you feel your heart? Is your heart also in a state of ongoing rampant receiving? Is it, does it allow in or has it closed its doors? Does it require a password or a special knock? Are there only some people on the preapprome approved list? Is your heart open to receiving or have you put up guard after guard after guard? Your heart needs to receive. Your emotional self must receive. Have you been starving it? Have you been denying it? Feel your dismantling those guards, dismantling that knee jerk reaction to say no, don't help me, I don't need it. I'm not going to ask. You can't give it to me, I shouldn't take it from you. A whole long list. Feel them like they've been printed on a piece of paper and you are tearing that paper in half. You are shredding that paper in the wind. And the wind is flow and it is carrying off every rejection, every closure, every guard. Your heart is open and it will not be hurt. You are long past that will not be hurt because it's growing again. And as it grows, it gets stronger. And the stronger it grows, the less it hurts, the more it receives. This is you now. This is your heart in your flow. And you stay in that feeling. Even now as you open your eyes and you return from flow doing that very simple technique, do it as often as you want. It will pop that cork and get you on the right path.

That's a wrap for today, but if you want to keep things going, then download my free Flow Dreaming apps. That's right, there's two of them. The first app allows you to listen to this podcast anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search and favorite episodes. The other app hooks you up with My Manifesting Store, which includes an oracle to help you see what direction you most are in need of right now, and advice. You can also sample all kinds of Flow Dreams and put together a library of your own. So to find these apps, just search Flow Dreaming in itunes or on your Google App Store.