#478 Our Family Play

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief, and that is what being aware of your Flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives.

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I think I just feel your love. Of course. And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS. I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow Dre. Before we get started, a really quick note. If you found this show on itunes or by downloading the Flow Dreaming podcast app, it would mean so much if you took a moment to review it. That is how other people will find this show and get the same great value out of it that I hope you're getting. So my huge thanks and sparkles and Flow go to all of you who just take that few moments to go write a quick little message of telling other people. This is good. Go listen. Thanks. Now off we go to the show. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hi, everybody. It's Summer here, and before we launch into another fantabulous episode of Flow Dreaming, and our topic for the week is our family roles, that should be a juicy one. What I just said there in the little intro about thanking you guys for rating the app, I really mean that. I actually logged in this morning. About an hour ago, I was showing it to somebody and I said, oh. Oh, my gosh. There's like, 11 reviews, and they're all from November. Like, wow. Thank you. Apparently, they just updated the app, and, you know, they get rid of all the old reviews every time they update it, which sucks. But I was really surprised to see so many people had said sweet things just in the last month. So thank you. Thank you. In fact, if you want to pay it forward, that could be your ticket to the podcast today. Just leaving a review, and that would be beautiful. So thank you. Okay, so housekeeping. What we do sometimes before we dive deep into our materials, I want to let you know, some of you have been following my journey this year with cancer. I am having my last chemo this Thursday, meaning two days from now. And I am so overjoyed and excited to have reached the end of what is a long journey, really a revolution that happens both in your body and in your mind. And as I've learned, in your emotional self, your energetic self. It's been a really fascinating experience. Of course, quite tiring. I've learned just considerable. I mean, just. I'm still processing through everything that I have gained from this. Many of you guys have been following me in my newsletter and I'm going to be putting out some more articles about, oh, well, things that I'm keeping from this experience, things that I'm definitely letting go. So if you want to follow along, you can even see pictures of me bald, which I sent out recently. Anyway, just go to my website, flowdreaming.com to get on the mailing list. There's a little place right there on the front where you can join. I'm also giving away a kit. I've actually created what I'm calling an introductory kit kit. It's pretty, pretty darn cool. It's the most I've ever given away, you know, to teach people how to Flow dream. It will basically get you speeded up or sped up. How would you say that? In how to do this process, how to get started on this journey in flow, how to start talking to the universe in a way where it really makes sense and puts your whole life into a. A way of understanding it and working with it that perhaps you haven't had before. So check that out. The Flow Dreaming kit is pretty darn awesome. You know, I mean, part of me thinks I should just, you know, package it up and sell it like a product, but I'd rather give it away and at least get you started on this journey, whether or not you continue. Okay, so that is the latest stuff that's going on personally in my life. That and the fact that MI School is now about ready to open. It'll be opening for registration in January, although we will be speaking to a few people in December who have put themselves on the wait list. And you can also find that at the website. Okay. All righty. I wrote up I kind of list when I was thinking about talking about family, their roles in our lives, how we show up to them, our expectations for one another, how we emotionally sort of ping pong back and forth, how we energetically show up for each other or not show up for each other. And I put together summer's Flow Dreaming reminders for the family season. That's the title and It's. It's kind of like a list of things that I just want you to think about that I'd like you to ponder as you consider how you relate to your mom, your dad, your grandparents, your kids, brothers, sisters, even friends, co workers, people in your workplace. Anyone who shows up consistently in your life or that you've assigned a certain important role to. Right, Anyone you've assigned an important role to comes under this broad umbrella of family roles. Whether or not they're related by blood is pretty irrelevant. What we're talking about today applies to all of these relationships and how we either get our needs met through them or we don't get our needs met through them. And how you can work with flow, how you can see them through the lens, I guess you could say, of flow, the way I look at the world now. So that you can uplevel every one of these relationships, so you can deepen it or release it or at least set it into whatever new form of alignment in your life it should be in whatever new form of harmony. So if that didn't make sense, go gobbledygook, gobbledy. Hopefully it'll make sense as we move through the hour. As always, the phone lines are open. Oops, looks like they're all full right now. So thank you, guys. You can always find how to reach me by going to the website. Just looking up where the podcast is. I do. I do broadcast this live on radio every Tuesday, as I have for the last 10 years, which is then recorded and uploaded as a podcast. However, you might be indulging in it right now. So let's look at summer's flow dreaming reminders for the family season. And family season meaning, oh, my gosh, Thanksgiving, you know, Turkey Day, Christmas, Hanukkah, all the celebrations that start happening around this time of year. First of all, look at your relationships. Just call up maybe one or two, one or two that maybe give you the most trouble. I don't want you to get overwhelmed here. So one or two where? Ugh. You know, maybe it's on your mind now. Maybe you've had a recent interaction that just reminded you of all the things that you're not getting from the relationship. And I want you to step back and consider the roles that you and this person are playing may have been set into motion, may have been described or written down years ago, years ago, almost like a playwright who wrote something 20 or 30 years ago. And the thing is, the play has been continuing to evolve more, keeps being added to it every day. Something New has been written into this play yet the character roles, if you've ever been in a drama class, you know, there's always a sketch. A character sketch tells you the basic motivations of the person, the basic, you know, likes and dislikes and so on. Those were all written 20 or 30 years ago. You as a character, hopefully have evolved. You've moved through a character arc, right? If you've ever studied dramatic literature, read a novel. The characters start one way and by the end of the novel, they've grown, they've had an epiphany, they've had a resolution, they've had. Something has happened where you feel that they've deepened and expanded, right? A really good novel will do that. You've done this. The other person, the other character that you're thinking of right now has done that as well. Are you still, though, holding up expectations related to the beginning of the story, related to the role you adopted for each other 20 or 30 years ago? Or have you consistently and continuously updated what you need from each other and who you are to each other? This is especially important when we're thinking about parental roles. You know, being a role of a child, a parent, no matter which one you are, or both. If you are still framing the relationship according to expectations that you created when you were 9 or 10, or when your kids were 9 or 10 with you, you've got to start feeling like, is this up to speed? Am I running a. Am I running a Windows version on my computer that was made 20 years ago? Have I updated it? Am I allowed to update it? What would it look like? And I know this seems like an obvious kind of observation, but it's sort of like when you update your computer, you get a little nervous. Oh, my God, all my programs aren't going to work. Oh, I don't want to do that now. Oh, it's going to be more trouble than it's worth. Oh, right. A lot of lack thinking comes up. The same is true in our roles with each other. Right? We don't consciously ever think we're updating our expectations for one another. We hold on to the same ones year after year, and we build on them, failing to recognize that the two humans involved in this have moved through years of experience. They should be aligning quite differently to each other. You have permission to align to each other quite differently. The closest we get in society to describing this is to say we've matured and developed a different relationship. An adult relationship, perhaps. But have you. Have you thought about this? If you could look at your relationship with this person as the upgrade, as the new, more relevant version. What would it look like and how would it feel? And can you give yourself permission to do this? It's okay, right? Think about that. That's number one. Reminder. Number one reminder. Number two, this has to do with. With a lot of questions that I receive over the course of the year from my students about why family sometimes seems like they're sabotaging you or holding you back. Why they disapprove of you. Why, when you start growing, they seem to get more and more mad. You know, little bees in their bonnet, what's going on? You think, well, I'm getting happier and better, and yet I feel so guilty. And everyone. So they're all so mad at me and what's going on. I don't understand this. I thought my family was supposed to love me and understand me, and the more I grow, the less they seem to, oh, my God, I'm starting to get afraid to grow. I don't want to change so much. I don't relate to them anymore. Well, the reminder is this. That's exactly what your family is afraid of, that you will change so much that they won't relate to you anymore. Even if that change that you're going through is making you happier or wealthier or healthier or more connected or you're doing just better in life all over. Maybe, you know, they think that if you get happy, you're not going to understand their old perspective, which is filled with lack thinking, which has depression, which still uses a lot of blame to keep each other in order. And here you are opting out of that. That makes them feel less connected. They're scared of that. They don't want you to do that. They don't know that they don't want you to do that. If you ask them, they'd say, oh, I only want the best for you. But we're talking about the deepest emotional self, the energetic patterns that sort of, you know, bind all of us together. You're changing your position in their pattern. And if they're not aware of it or they're not willing to change with you, it scares them. It scares them. Right. Your family often tries to protect you from both failure and success. I know that's weird, but they'll say, don't do it. Don't change. Don't be different than us. And they'll remind you, oh, remember when you got into that networking business and you ended up with all that product? You never sold it. Oh, do you remember when you got together with that guy and he was so bad and you, we all thought you were crazy and you would listen. Oh, do you remember when, you know, why did they bring that stuff up? Why they're trying to say to you, don't do that again. We're trying to protect you. We don't want you to get in that position again. And sometimes you think, no, they're just saying I'm stupid over and over because it makes them feel better. Well, maybe, but they're also saying, stop trying. Don't do that. This is funny, right? Because if you think about what you'd say to your child, what if your child, you know, was on a softball team and, you know, she couldn't hit the ball every single time for the first, you know, eight games, would you say, oh, no, stop trying. Remember when you tried to hit the ball last time? Didn't work out. Really? You just shouldn't. We should just drop out of this all. What parent would ever say that? Yet that, oddly enough, is what we do as a husband, as a wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a parent, a sister, a brother. You've probably said that to people in your own family, don't try again. Yet we tell our own children, don't give up. What's the difference? What's the difference there? Well, like I said, your family is often afraid if you do succeed, you will no longer connect with them and you will no longer align with them. Whereas when you look at your children, you have a very different feeling, which is the more you succeed, the more I've done my job, the more you, you conquer the world, the better apparent I prove myself to have been fully different, energy, dynamic. So as you go forward, think about this. What if your husband or wife or mother or father said, the more you succeed, the better of a mother. I will have been the better of a husband. I will have been the better of a boyfriend or wife or friend even. I would have been. What if you now start having those expectations for your family? No, no. The more I grow and change means you've done a great job with me, a brilliant job. You encouraged me to keep going. What I'm expressing to you is that you can train them, right? You can train them. You can teach them how to behave this way towards you instead of protecting you the way they have been. Have you ever thought about doing that? Training them, Teaching them? If you don't do it, who's going to? Is anybody else going to tell them to do this? No. Are you waiting for them to stumble on this on their own. Maybe you think they will? I don't know. All right, let's keep going because as usual, I'm going to be talking the whole show if I don't get through these. I'm only on number two here, right? I have more. I have more. This one has to do the summer slow dreaming reminders for the family season number three, parents, siblings, rivalry, etc. This is something that comes up a lot as we have to figure out whose house we're going over to the holidays, who is not going to show up because so and so is going to be there and this is their punishment. And now you have to pick between us and. Or we're going to show up, but we're going to, you know, put a frowny face on and make people feel uncomfortable and one up each other and, oh, you know, all the stuff that goes on. Right? Why is this happening? Why do we still have rivalry as adults? Really? One, have you upgraded your internal, you know, windows yet? Or are you on mountain lion or any other of whatever it is? Right? Most of us haven't. So we're still coming to each other with a place of rivalry. Consider that your family members are probably still stuck a place of lack in a lot of their lives, right? They haven't been exposed to the teachings you have. Maybe they even ridicule the teachings that you have been studying, but they're still acting based on lack and anticipation of I am not going to get my needs met from you. You've never met my needs or I need to get more praise than you. I need to be seen as better than you. I'm still fighting for my peace. The pie. This is something kids learn, you know, when you're fighting with your brothers and sisters. How do I get my piece of the pie? How do I get the biggest piece? This is lack thinking. Why do you have to fight for your piece? Don't you feel like you'll get enough pie? Aren't you going to get enough love? Aren't you going to get enough praise? Why do you need to be better than someone else? Conversely, what if you're the person who is doing better than the rest of your family and you don't want to tell them, you don't want to share it with them? It'll just get them mad. It'll get them upset, It'll make them feel bad. That's you projecting lack now. That's you saying, I don't think my family is evolved enough for lack of a better. Better Word. To share in my happiness, to be happy for me and with me, to be inspired by me, to say, wow, that's so amazing. I'm working on this too. How did you, how did you change? What did you do? How did you make yourself successful that way? You must be doing something I'm not doing. Would you help me with that? Right. That would be a beautiful way for family to respond. But you might be afraid they won't. And so you're withholding it, right? Because you're anticipating lack. Now, I'm not telling you how to cure any of these things, by the way, because all of these have different solutions based on your particular situations. I just want you to start pointing out certain patterns that might be swirling through your interactions that have been holding you or locking you into place with one another. Right? Locking you into an alignment with each other that may be very, very ill fitting, old and uncomfortable. If you can see it, then you can take the next step, which is to change it. All right? This next one is really important and it kind of is the, the setting for a lot of my own personal beliefs about why we're together, why we have certain people in our lives. I like to think that family are like your closest set of actors in your old fashioned acting troupe. You know, the kind that used to go across the countries in the Renaissance and set up shop. Well, they became like a family with one another. Imagine that you've come here and it's like you have a family and the family that you have, well, they are the closest set of actors to you, right? They're playing all the leading roles. Mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, cousin, whoever they may be, best friend, person you grew up with. They're playing the biggest, biggest roles. Now sometimes you bring in other people midway through the play that also have very big roles, such as the boyfriend, the first husband, the first wife, the second wife, the employer. Right. The employer can also become a big, a big role in your little drama troupe. So why do you have these people around you? Well, they're all playing a part in your expansion. They're all helping you answer the question as you go through life, who am I? Who am I? And they give you a set of rules to play by to start with. Your job is to then modify those rules, take what you like, leave the rest, create your own set of rules that then you will pass to your children or whomever and let your kids or whomever do the same. But they're helping you answer the question, who am I? Now they do that not just by being good to you and beautiful around you. They also do that by playing a villain, right? Any good play has a villain or villains, right? The dramatic tension that forces the play forward, that makes you want to hang on to what will happen next. Every villain you've had in your life galvanizes you, and we call that triggering in our modern language. But basically, they're galvanizing you, they're causing you to seek. Right? When I talk with people, for instance, again, to use me schoolers as an example, when I ask them, why did you come to this program? What. What was it? You know, they always say, well, I reached a point where I needed to know what to do next. I needed to become more powerful, I needed to know where to go. I wanted. I did everything I could, and I realized something is lacking. What do I do? They're being pushed. Often there's a story attached to it. Like, because I just got a divorce, because I just lost my job, because I just changed careers, because I just, you know, you know, moved countries. There's something that triggered them to look deeper, to go deeper, to go into the next phase. Because, let's face it, when things are going well, you usually don't spend much time looking at yourself and going bigger. And we ride those swells like a wave, you know, swell in the ocean. We ride those swells and take and drink that goodness in until the wave tapers out and a new one forms. And when we're sitting there going, ah, nothing new has formed, but I want the next one to be even better than the last one. That's what propels us forward. A villain in your life acts in the same role, right? It's the sand in the oyster. Itch, itch, itch. Irritant, irritant, irritant. And you have people in your life right now, and that is why they're there. And you also are doing that for other people as well. And how much do you have to really love each other to say, I'm willing to be your villain in life? Right? It's sort of like yin, yin, yin yang, right? They're almost the same thing. They go together. They can't be separated from one another. The villains and the angels. You have to love someone very deeply to commit to pissing them off and making their life hell. Now, that sounds strange, but that really leads me to, you know, the next idea. You know what a Buddhist koan is? A Buddhist koan. What is the sound of one hand clapping? It's basically a kind of a paradox. Essentially that you set up in your thinking or your feelings. And Buddhists of certain sects at least will meditate on these Cohens because they're trying to reach a place of detachment, of understanding that two seemingly opposite conditions can coexist, can be with one another. It is not either or, it is both simultaneously. That's what we call the whole. Right? Wholeness is both in perfect balance. So this brings me to my next point. What do you do? What do you do with family? What do you do with them? When you recognize the villain, you recognize the fact that, you know, maybe you're holding on to old fashioned roles for each other. You recognize why they may be loving you and protecting you and holding you back at the same time or rival, you know, experiencing rivalry with you, all of that. Well, I use flow dreaming, right? I go to that point inside myself where I say, I recognize how it is now. This is how I want it to be. Instead, this is how I want us to feel together. You may have been my villain, but I'm willing now to let you let go of that role. Right? We often expect our family to be the first to change. We have to also say, I'm willing to let you move beyond that role. Thank you for playing it. I don't need it anymore. I think I'm good. I think I've gotten everything I can take from that. I'm resolving it in my own thinking and in my own heart. And you know, you'll have reached that point when you've resolved it, when they no longer trigger you, when you can look at them from a place of. That's really interesting that my brother always acts that way or how strange, you know, my good friend is doing this again. But it doesn't hurt me. It doesn't reach in and galvanize me the way it used to. And maybe that means I've stepped back and let her go a bit. Or maybe that means that she stopped doing it because she realized that I gave her permission. She doesn't need to. All I know in the end is that now I feel good with this person. I get what I need from them. I've decided I want to keep them or not keep them. But I'm in a really good place and I can move on to my next set of experiences. That's your emotional endpoint. Now because you're working with somebody else, you can give permission on your end. You can create the new emotional landscape, the new connection. You can put this all in flow and say flow. Help us create this now but it won't happen unless your family member or friend also has that same desire. This is where things can get a little funky, right? Because we don't know ultimately if your family member or friend has that same desire. We don't know if they even understand what that means the way that you understand. So what if they don't change? What if they just keep replaying? Playing the same tired, worn out lines in the play over and over and it's like Groundhog Day and you're saying, we did this scene like 200 times. I'm. I'm really over it. I don't. I don't need it. Here's how I want us to feel instead. This is the new scene I want to develop. So you can keep saying your old lines. I'm going to start replying with my new lines. And your family's like, what? I don't get it. That's okay. That's fine. Because this is where the Cohen part of it comes in. You detach. I want this. This is what I feel. This is how I feel what's going on between us. Here are the new lines I'm giving you. I've advanced the play even if you haven't. And you know what? I'm detaching from the outcome of this. I'm letting it go. I'm letting it go. And you can come into alignment and you can upgrade yourself and you can start letting go of lack. You can do all of these things to upgrade our relationship whenever you need on your own timeline. I am not in charge of your life. I cannot force you to do it. That's the beauty of this. I'm in charge of my life. You get to be in charge of yours. So I will detach and let you be on your own timeline. That is the most loving thing I can do for you. To let you arrive and meet me whenever you are ready. So I release. And I know for me that might mean letting go of expectations and needs, you know, saying, I never got the mother I wanted, I never got. I will do all of that in myself. So I can let you go, So I can detach. And I can simultaneously hold the feeling that I am loved and I am mothered and I receive everything I need. Maybe just not from you, but I receive it nonetheless from someone, somehow, somewhere. So if that felt complicated to you, it is a little more advanced way of thinking, an advanced way of working with relationships. Let it sink in. Just let it be inside of you. Right? You've heard it now. It's in your mind, it's in your heart. It's starting to inform the way that you go forward, right? My understanding of flow is that everything we think, feel, see, hear, experience moves into our energy field, moves into the greater us, whether or not we start processing it and acting on it, right? That's like the final layer, but it goes into us nonetheless. That's why, you know, every teacher you listen to says, hang around people who inspire you. Hang around people who are good for you. Read things that are good for you. Spend time in silence, spend time inside yourself, spend time in flow. You know, let yourself be washed in good things because this is what now becomes part of you, right? You don't just experience things. Everything you experience becomes part of you. If you spend your experiences watching scary movies and frightening TV shows and getting yourself whipped up over politics and getting yourself. And I mean in a bad way, I don't mean in a change the world for good kind of way. I mean that angry kind of way. If you spend your time in states of negativity and despair, gossiping, right? You know, these things, these feelings that you generate in yourself, this becomes who you are. This is now added to your you, right? Every experience is like a teaspoon of sand being poured into the greatness of who you are. The big, the big chalice that holds you. What kind of sand is going in there? So there you go. Thoughts on how to up level your family experiences over the holiday season. All right, we're going to go to a quick break. When we come back, I have questions that I'll be answering, bringing you guys live on air with me. We'll be doing a little flow dreaming together, looking into people using some empathic intuition, which is really just a way of saying reading the quantum energy, reading the energy of all that is manifesting, writing to the energy, intuition, reading from the energies. So stay with me and we'll be right back with more flow dreaming. Hey, it's summer again and yes, we're on break, but I wanted to share some important, important stuff with you about the hugely amazing and gorgeous ME School of Flow. Right now it's either enrolling or it's accepting names onto the wait list. This means that I'm accepting students that I work with personally over the year ahead. And I teach you to do what I do, how to think, how I think, how to work with flow, manifest, create and use the universe the way it's meant to be used. You're going to create amazing things using flow. You'll also open and Expand your empathic intuition. After doing this for a number of years, I can tell you MI schoolers make strides and hit goals way beyond what they think they're going to be able to do going in over and over. You don't have to be a superstar going in because that's what we're going to turn you into once you get there. If you're ready to go big, if you know you need to deepen your spiritual practice and your personal growth, then this is where you need to be. Your life, after all, only grows as big as you do. So ME school is online. That means you'll connect with me from all over the world. What to do next? Click or swipe over to flowdrimming.com. you'll see an area that talks about me school during enrollment. You can set up a free 20 minute call with me. And during weightless times, I invite you to send me a note telling me about your interest. Okay, I look forward to hearing from you and even more to getting to know you as one of my personal students in MI school. Now let's get back to the episode. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. All right, we have some great calls it looks like. Let's start with Matthew calling from the uk. Hey, Matthew, can I help you with.

Hi.

Hi. Yes, do you hear me?

Yeah, I've got you. Can you hear me?

Oh, yes, I can. You are live. You are on air. What's going on?

Okay, I've got this decision to make on where I go with my career. In my business at the moment, I work on a contract basis. I work for finance companies, big finance companies. It's all very stale and I know what I'm doing, but there's no real soul in it. I've got this dream to go for slightly smaller companies still finance, but start to wake them up and wake up their heart and soul. And it sounds a crazy dream, but it just grabs me. So I wondered what the flow would say to that, whether that's something to do or not. When the timing of it.

Okay, so first of all, it's not a crazy dream, right? Let that be out of your mind, you know, Never say that to yourself again. This is a very realistic dream. It's very doable. And you want to ask yourself, whose perspective did you take on when you said it was crazy? Is that really your own? Or are you anticipating lack in the way that other people perceive you? Right. Are you parroting that other people will call me crazy? Okay, that's the first thing to weed out because when you want to now go in and work with these smaller companies in this new way, the energy that you go forward with is, I am very solid, I'm very rational, I'm very reasonable. This is something that is going to grow you up, level you, whatever your goal for them is. And that's got to be what 100% fills you. It's more than a lack of doubt. It's actually being filled with a sense of, this is how I serve you. This is my vision. I'm going to give the vision so it becomes your vision, too. Okay, so describe to me how you would change these companies.

It's about the vision. It's interesting how the flow is working already because I previously worked for big finance companies, still in the uk, but big finance companies. And now by chance, I'm working for a slightly smaller one and they're in the middle of writing their vision. I'm thinking, and next Monday there's a chance for me to go and just say, this is my dream for where the company needs to go. I'm just thinking I could just leap in and say, what we need to do is, you know, get away from transactional and go into how we transform businesses, how we start loving our clients, you know, and really partnering the client.

Yes. So you. Yeah, great. So you'd say to this business there already.

But I guess another bit behind the question is, at the moment I'm playing the safe game of I work on a contract basis, I get six months, a year's worth of contract. But I'm imagining for me to start working with more companies, I need to go a bit more freelance and start being more independent.

Right. So this is. Let me go back one second. So you're going to start presenting to the company, here's who we are going to be. Here's who we're going to be to our clients. Yeah, right. This is. And what kind of feelings we want our clients to have about us, how do we cultivate that and how do we allow that same vision to transform the way we talk and speak to each other within our company as well. Right. Because what we model within our company is the energy that every person we work with is going to feel as well, which is something businesses forget a lot. They think they can act and be one way internally and show up to their client base completely differently. Okay. So you may start discovering you're still in a place where you're discovering exactly what this message is going to be, the wholeness of this message. And that's a good place. Keep thinking along those lines. So the next question you had is how do I shift from a place of stability into a place of what I perceive will be instability? Stability being these longer contracts, I know how to do them. I'm safe here. My income is good here. Two, I'm now not as safe, my income is not as sure. But I think this is going to be more opening to my heart, more in alignment. So you're setting up a kind of a dichotomy, right? In an either or situation, what if we go into flow and you can close your eyes right now with me if you want and never be afraid to ask for a third path. Right. Don't allow your mental mind to set up your only two options. Instead we move into flow and we think, ah, Matthew sees stability or instability. He sees security or risk flow. We want to know if this is right, if this is going to feel good. He's willing to stretch. I'm willing to stretch. Yet I also want to be given something that could possibly embody both. I don't know what that would look like. I don't understand it yet, but I want to feel a stretch. I want to feel growth, but I also want to feel that I am safe and I'm held as I stretch into it. Kind of like the idea of the Cohen that we talked about earlier. I can embody both at once and I haven't encountered it yet because I haven't been thinking in those terms. Now I'm starting to think in those terms. I wonder if I really could encounter something like that. I would like to present that as an option to flow. Show up for me like that. Give me a six month contract where the business now says go wild and crazy and transform us, whatever it is, however it shows up.

Yeah, okay.

But practice playing in that third, that third place where both coexist. Okay?

Yeah.

All right. That should stretch you. I wish I could have more time to give you more, but I gotta move on. Thank you though. Okay.

So much for that. Thank you.

You're so welcome. I hope that helped. Take care. Take care. Okay, sorry, we have to click cut them off. Let's do, let's do. Jamie calling from Austin. Hi, Timmy, Austin, Texas.

Hey, Summer, can you hear me?

I do. You sound great. What's up?

Yay. Love you, girl.

Aw, love you too.

I called in a while back. We ended up moving to Austin and great people, great place, but I'm a little Pisces fish and it's just so. It's been such a challenging transition. We've been here for about a year and a half for my husband, job, and I. Everyone's doing well except me. And I'm really trying to look at this like an opportunity to kind of reinvent myself now that the kids are in school and kind of get back on a new path. It's just. It's dragging me down, being in an environment that I don't like in terms of the weather, and I'm just trying to find something to hold onto, to get to part the clouds, you know, to see the sun, to see the water, you know, to see the mountain. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. So you have a lot of things happening right here. One of the things I haven't talked about in a long time is the energy of location. Right. When we find ourselves, you know, I mean, there's a reason why certain people gravitate to certain cities, why we feel comfortable and call some places home and other places not home, even though we may have lived there for 10 years, you know, longer than any place else. It's not home. Home was over there. Every town has a vibe. And yes, it's a cultural vibe, yes, it's an economic vibe, but there's a. There's a. An energy state beyond that, the collected energy of everyone who's there. So when you feel yourself fitting into Austin, you're probably feeling like, I'm a fish out of water. Fish Pisces. How funny. I'm a fish out of water. I need certain things, and either I can try and transform myself to fit the new environment, or I can try and transform the environment to fit me. And you're struggling to go back and forth between the two, and you find that after a while, it's really wearing. Right. That's a job to have to continually do that. Right. I call it a power leak or an energy leak. It's an exertion that you don't realize you're doing, but you're doing it every day. So if we truly are stuck there because your husband works there or whatever. Right As I flow dreamed if I were you, I would say I find myself and my husband being in an environment that satisfies us both. Right. I'd go to the top first, set out my top, most intention. We are in an environment that satisfies us both. We are financially secure. We both feel wonderful. Right. I wouldn't even pin it to a certain town or city. I would just state that emotionally, we are feeling both of us. Amazing. Now, the step down from that is here in Austin. I'm discovering things and people and subsets and smaller groups where I'm starting to feel more relaxed and finding my tribe. It may be a smaller. It might not be the whole city. It might not be the weather. It might not be. There might be pieces that don't work, but maybe I have my own new little sun lamp. Maybe I have my own, you know, mini sauna out in the backyard. Maybe I have a group of friends who actually feel more like Californians to me. Maybe I have, you know, whatever it may be, you know, calling in this smaller group to surround you and giving you that sense of, I'm creating my own home bubble. So, Flo, let's create my own home bubble, an energy bubble, a friend bubble, a climate bubble. Maybe I'm painting my room yellow and orange. Maybe I'm doing whatever I need to feel physically more relaxed and comfortable in the space that I'm in.

And I love that. And I actually just listened to calling your tribe literally like a day ago, because I love that flow dream. So I think what is holding me back from feeling that bubble and painful in that room is that I'm very tied in a loving way to my husband and his emotions. And he's kind of all over the board and his security and where he's. He's truly not shored up, I guess. And I don't know if his heart is here, but I don't know if it's here. He's just kind of always in flock. And it's hard for me to be the grounding force.

Yeah. Especially when you're not even sure you want to ground where you're grounded.

Exactly.

Right. If you're the lightning rod in the ground, you're not sure you even want to go deep into it. Right. So what you're describing is a lack of attachment energy on both parts, which means you're just kind of floating where you are. Right. And that's the visual of floating. And of course, that's going to make you feel depressed and dissatisfied. So add into your flow. Add into your flow a feeling of I ground into whatever is going to help me the most. Right. And you don't have to specify what that is yet. I ground into whatever helps me the most. Show up for me. I need to ground into you. I feel myself grounding into you. Right. And this could be a. An array of things. It could be a new yoga studio that pops up. It could be a new group of friends that you meet. It could be a new, you know, anything thing where you Go. Oh, I actually can ground into this for a while. Doesn't mean permanent, but it's something.

I just tried a new yoga studio. Someone killing me here, like literally not a month ago with totally new vibes. And you're killing me here. You're amazing, like, awesome. Okay, okay. I can do, I can commit to that. And I have a new business idea that is bubbling up inside of me that I have a feeling may take me away from here often enough to keep me satiated. So good. But your. Your words really mean a lot and I truly appreciate them.

Well, thanks, Jamie. Grow it where you are, otherwise you will get in a perpetual waiting mode and you can't, you just can't afford that. That's. You can't do it. You're learning something by having to adjust to this. So figure it out. Right?

Okay.

All right.

So much.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Bye.

Okay, so what's happening next? Unfortunately, Patricia, I won't be able to get to you because we're wrapping up the show. We're going to go to a quick break and when we get back, I'm going to give you all a beautiful flow dream to help smooth those family feathers and make your relationships just a little easier as we go forward here through all of the family drama that may or may not be in your life. Alright, stay with me here. We are on a quick break and I have a few suggestions for you. First of all, if you're wondering how to flow dream or what flow dreaming really is, I have a free gift bag of downloads for you on my website right now. Go to flowdreaming.com, enter your email. That's it. You'll get the downloads right then, instantly. And they're a 30 minute tutorial on how to floatream. And I give you a free flow dream to start with. This saves me from reteaching the basics over and over again on this show and it gives you the first step toward a freaking awesome life. You're gonna find these downloads on my homepage right now. So pop in your email and I'll send them right over to you. Next, my manifesting shop@flowdreaming.com is what underwrites this entire show. It brings it to you free every week and it has for the last 10 years, which is saying quite a lot. And what's there, amazing playlists on all kinds of topics. MP3s, flow dreams that end, fear that get you unstuck, that can get you to your perfect career, that can get you out of debt, help you find your soulmate so much more. These playlists are incredibly powerful, highly effective. My inbox is full every day with thank you notes from lottery winners, people who've just gotten married, people who've received eye popping bonuses, who've reduced massive amounts of pain or healed themselves in so many different ways. So please go visit the man Manifesting store@flow dreaming.com and see what you want to pick up and start using to change your life with. Okay, back to the program. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. All right, you guys ready? We've got a few minutes here just to get you into this way of thinking and feeling that I've been describing throughout the program. Flow Dreaming is not meditation. It is not self hypnosis. If you're not sure what it is or how to do it, go to my website. And like I said, there's the free training kit you can grab right now. For those of you who do know what you're doing, go ahead and close your eyes with me and we're going to go on a little journey here. As you relax and you let your stomach out and you let your shoulders drop, you let your jaw release and relax. Nice deep breaths, taking no stress into the daydream we're about to go. Feel and experience a daydream. Daydream about your life. A daydream where everything is going right, everything is going right in your life. How would that feel if every problem you had was just dissolved? Dissolved. Like little threads becoming untangled, dropping down, loosening, happening on its own. Every little knot, every worry, every argument, every long standing issue, just dissolving, releasing, coming apart, moving into a. A beautiful flowing alignment. Parallel lines of light. Lines of light. Like a comb out in space. A comb of light. Each tooth is a line of energy, floating, moving into your future. All the activities of you, your life, your day, even your family. You look around, you see yourself. Feeling, experiencing the state. Moving forward as if you were in a vast river. A river of these threads. You're not alone here. Everyone else, everyone else that you encounter, family, friends, co, workers, they too each have their own flow forward into their days, months, years. All the things swooping ahead of them. As if we all had big nets and we were scooping up our futures, flowing forward into them, scooping up experiences. And all of us overlapping, aligning, coming together, sharing co. Sharing experiences. And then peeling apart from one another, moving separate ways. And yet there's this heartbeat. A group who stays with us and stays with us always. The family, our friends, each playing a part, each being who they are, each offering and giving according to their own certain limitations or their own certain growth. Giving that to us, allowing us to see it in them, to experience it with them. How special that is just to have them in your life. Whether they are the villain or. Or the saint, they are yours. They have committed to being this to you, doing this for you, either irritating you or loving you, and sometimes both. Just that recognition opens your heart, opens your heart like a flower, like a rose blooming like a peony, unfolding a beautiful feeling. And you express yourself to them. You say, I understand what you're doing. I can see it now. You're right. I don't need to be triggered by that anymore. I don't need to fall to pieces over that or get upset about that. I can release and let that go. I'm starting to see things as if I've stepped behind the curtain and I see exactly how this play is being put together behind me scenes. Oh, it all looks so different from here. Seeing the actors without their makeup and costume. Your heart is opening to this feeling, and you know you're going to see it and sense it in each encounter every day ahead, starting now. And with that recognition, you realize your daydream is coming to an end and you're coming out of flow and you return and open your eyes. And if it was shocking to you that that was a full five minutes, we were there just about. Well, that means you really were in flow. You really did disconnect and go there. So my love to you all. You guys are my flow dreaming family and I love you guys and I really hope that you have beautiful holidays coming up. I will be back next week and through December as we keep moving forward in our flow dreaming journey together. Take care. Until next time. Well, look at that. Show's over. But before you go, did you know that my mom has a podcast, too? Her show airs live right after mine. It comes up next, we tape our live shows back back. Her show is called the Dear Venus show, so stay listening and you can call in or look it up live on itunes if you're listening via podcast. Her show is really good. It's really funny. And she reads people's minds and futures and talks to dead people for real. It's called the Dear Venus show on itunes.