#482 How to Construct A Life: Inner Building/Outer Building

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief, and that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Oh, my God.

You were so on target. You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough. Breathe.

It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. And you know that feeling, when you touch it, it just spreads through you. Thank you for taking my call. I don't know why I feel like crying.

I think I just feel your love.

Of course.

And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS.

I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow Dre. Before we get started, a really quick note. If you found this show on itunes or by downloading the Flow Dreaming podcast app, it would mean so much if you took a moment to review it. That is how other people will find this show and get the same great value out of it that I hope you're getting. So my huge thanks and sparkles and Flow go to all of you who just take that few moments to go write a quick little message of telling other people. This is good. Go listen. Thanks. Now off we go to the show, and welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hi, I'm Summer McStravik, your host. So happy to be with you this hour. We have an interesting show today. I'm going to share with you a way of constructing your life that I think is from a very different perspective than certainly what we're all taught as we grow up, even from what is out there swirling around in the world right now. It's a perspective that is fueled truly by flow, by my understanding of the way that the universe and the energies and our very natures work. And it has to do with how we, you know, choose things in our life, what we choose to focus on, how we decide, what we want to build, what we don't want to build, and all of material things that come as a result of that. So I'm going to lay out for you a kind of different way of building a life, Constructing a life having to do with building on the inside and then building on the outside. Before we jump into our topic of the week, however, thank you for joining me here with Flow Dreaming. This podcast, you will find, has over 500 episodes. I believe we've put together so far dating back. This will be its 11th year. Many of those you can find on itunes and the rest of them are in the premium archives, and those are incredibly accessible. It's three bucks a month to get access to the rest of them, which means about 500 topics. And then of course, I air the program live, taped as a live radio program every Tuesday at noon Pacific time. And that has been my time slot for also at least the last 10 or 11 years. All of this information can be found on my website, which will soon be beautifully revised and revamped. Although if you're listening to this, you know, on demand, perhaps it already has been revised. So in that case, what you're seeing is what you get. But otherwise it's coming out all new and hopefully you will absolutely adore it. Other things that have been going on in the flow universe. Many of you have been following my journey with cancer over the last year, breast cancer in particular. I am in remission, just kind of giving you the update. And I'm still through my course of treatment in the radiation phase, so I'm feeling much more alive and present than I have. I'm looking forward to this year ahead. But I have to say for me, this journey has been kind of amazing just in terms of what I have learned, what I have encountered, how I've kind of deepened, I guess as a result of it at least deepened my understanding of the why in my life why things happen, as well as the role of healing. So 2016 for me will probably be giving you a lot of new topics, ones that I've maybe not discussed as heavily in the past. And that's a result of my own, well, I don't know, my own expansion, I guess you could say, my own growth. So the last little bit is me school. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Me school. It's been such a pleasure talking with all of you. The last two weeks I have been on the phone getting to know you, really talking about your life, what your goals are, what you're after, how Flow Dreaming can help you, how Me School can help you with that. This enrollment period does not last forever. It is just a couple of months out of the year. If you are interested in mi school, please, please, please go to the website. There's a huge, beautiful, lovely page put there, long page filled with information about the program, all the things that are taught in it, the purpose of it, the point of it, how it will change. You go check it out. That's@flowdreaming.com. okay, let's get into our topic. And as always, you can call at any time. If you're listening live, go grab that number off of my website. I'd love to hear from you. When we are thinking about our life. I think if you're like me, most of us just kind of gathered the information when we were younger. You know, we kind of put it together through school and our parents and our friends. First you do this, then you do that, then you do this, then you do that. Usually involving some combination of go to school or go to college or get a good job, maybe do some traveling, find a partner, perhaps have children and get married. Then, you know, retire. It's like that big gap between have kids and get married and retire. Isn't that funny? Retire. Maybe at some point you're taking care of your own parents. And then we die, right? I mean, it's pretty predictable. And then you can fill all the little cracks in that timeline with the particular things that you're choosing to do. Now we'll have this kind of job or that kind of job or move this career, this hobby and. And so forth. And not surprisingly, a lot of us end up feeling like, well, you know, that's not as fulfilling as I thought it was going to be. We reach these points in our life where, honest to God, we're asking, now what? Like, now what? Isn't there more than this? And we look around and, you know, maybe our friendships are close and tight, or maybe they're not. Maybe we've lost a lot of friends and sort of shed our friendships over the years. Maybe we're working at work we love, maybe we're working at work we absolutely despise and we're not sure what else to do about it. Maybe we have a partner that we love, or maybe we despise our partner, or maybe we have no partner and everything gets kind of muddy and mushy and confusing and eventually we grind to a halt. It's like stuck. What now? This is what the show is for. It's to give you a different model, one that's based on this idea that we are beautiful manifestors where extensions of source energy were made of God's own energy, were made of universal energy. That what we see around us is really just the physical manifestation of something much deeper, an informational source that is very. There's no other word but deep. I wish we had a bigger language for all the words of spirit. So when I approach my life as a flow dreamer, I'm contemplating it as if it exists in the Same sort of yin and Yang universe that everything else exists in, right? There's body, there's spirit, yin, yang, light, dark, love, hate. This world of opposites that we're in, this world of contrast, right? Contrast is the grit in the oyster. It's what nudges us along, you know. Contrast is what nudges us out of hard places, difficult places. We don't like the feeling of being in pain. So what do we do? We go toward light and love. We stay in light and love until some of our lack thinking and our fear provokes us. Then we go back into a point of pain. We're always bouncing back and forth. Contrast is what moves us so that we're not really, honestly, eternally stuck in just a one kind of flat, medium space. When we build life, I'd like you to think about it in terms of an inner world and an outer world. Making inner changes and making outer changes. Now, again, in Western culture, we're predominantly taught that you make outer changes. If you make enough outer changes and you make them smart enough, it will make you innerly happy. Innerly happy. You know what I mean, right? But if we make enough outer changes and we do the right outer changes, then we'll be happy inside. In other words, our world is driven by external physical ideas, physical change, physical successes, physical losses. Hoping that this is what will create our inner landscape. Can you see that this is, pardon me, ass backwards, or at the very least, imbalanced. What if your outer world is instead driven by all of your inner changes? That your outer world directly is a reflection of the inner changes, the inner world, the inner accomplishments that we're making. Right. Reverse this. Play on both sides the equation. Play in body, play in spirit, play yin play, yang. When we're flow dreaming, we become really conscious, really aware. I am creating, we are creating in a beautiful, emotional, energetic space. We're able to sort of play with the strings of potential in the universe. Guide them, weave them. We become like these weavers of the energies of our life. Where are they flowing? What kind of blueprint or template are we going to end up creating that then the outer world will adhere to, will reflect for us. Now, just as with the imbalance, if you're completely, you know, working the outer world and just making the right choices, hoping it'll make you feel better inside, and you realize it won't. The same can be said for the inner world. If you only exist in the inner world and you do nothing to encourage the material world to reflect that by jumping on those opportunities by being in a state of inspired action, by engaging in physicality, then you will still be in a kind of halfway land, right? All inner work, no external connection. And sometimes we do see people like that. The dreamers and their lives are never quite put together and they're all in the inner. So I'm asking you, just take a pulse right now, just like putting your fingers on your wrist. Your life, has it been externally driven or internally driven? What's the balance? If you're like most people, it's probably around 80% externally driven, maybe 20% internally driven. How often have you said, I'm going to make changes inside myself and that is what's going to drive the rest of my life, all the other things that are outside me, how often? Well, if you've been flow dreaming, you've been taught, or you're learning to choose things inside you that you want to change, right? Choose things inside you. Choose characteristics, choose ways of thinking, choose your mindset, choose your tendency to be in a state of lack. Change these things. How about going through a period deciding, I'm going to go through a period of deep forgiveness. I'm ready to forgive and release. Do you see how this will affect your external world? It will shift because you have shifted. If you shift your inner space, the way that you now move in the outer world is different. If that movement in the outer world is different, then those things that you encounter, those things that align with you likewise change, shift the internal. And maybe your health condition is going to disappear, right? That one that you've been trying to shift externally through medicine and maybe alternative therapies still hasn't gone away. Perhaps you need to look internally at you, how you feel about yourself, your self worth, letting yourself accept all of who you are, are getting comfortable with the way that you think and you're made, perhaps deciding to get rid of a few things that are holdbacks inside of you. Some patterns, some blocks, some ceilings. So look at it like this. Your behavior, right? Originates inside of you, right? This is. This is how you interact with the world each day. This is the emotion that you come at things with. Are you anticipating and bracing and worrying about them? Are you sending out lack or are you sending out a state of comfort and ease and joy, right? This is all coming from inside you. That's coming out through your behavior, your language, your actions. It's all originating inside. First you can see how that alone is going to open or close doors for you externally in your life. Just that alone, just that translation. But even deeper than that if you go way in, way into your flow self, your source self, and you start to work with things like how much you trust yourself, for instance, do you trust yourself in this world? Do you trust yourself to make good decisions? Do you trust that if you make a bad decision, you'll be able to get out of it easily and smoothly? Because you keep trusting yourself. And you know that sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. Do you trust yourself? Interestingly this week I've been talking, like I said, to all these potential MI school students. This is a huge thing for them. They can't trust themselves to say yes. They can't even trust themselves sometimes to say, yeah, I'm ready to change my internal world. Because they're afraid. They're still in a fear place. I don't think I can change my internal world. It's too expensive to change my internal world. I don't have the time to change my internal world. What's it going to do for me if I change my internal world? I'm afraid of that. You need to think about the value of your inner world, your inner characteristics, your soul self, as it's striving to engage with this external material world. Give it its space, give it attention. Give it as much attention as you give your job and your house and walking your dog and, you know, pulling weeds in your garden and driving your kids to school. Give it as much attention because it's 50% of your life. And in fact, it's often what drives the rest of your life. Not just through behavior, but through intention. Right, through that thing that's so hard to put our finger on. Drive love. What's the word for it? You know what I'm saying? Purpose. That's the thing you're seeking. Now, if you don't have that, if you can't feel that, you really are stuck. Now, fortunately, there's a way to get beyond that, right? You can get out of it. It's very easy, actually, once you wake up and start to understand, oh, yeah, this is a thing. This is a thing. For instance, this year, something I'm doing with my Diamond ME school students. I've asked them all to make one internal change and one external change. Just one. One. And I'll give you the logic behind this. To profoundly change one aspect of yourself or one aspect of your external material life is huge. It's huge. It's like instead of a New year's list with 20 items on it that you think will all just kind of tinker together to make all these changes. Let me give you an example. What if the internal change that you're seeking to make is I will love myself as I've never loved myself before this year. Now, that means that everything you do going forward all year, every choice you make, you have to ask this question. Does this enhance my love for myself or take away from it? Ah, can you see everything that will pop up as a result of that? When you're suffering through something, a behavior that your husband is doing that you don't like, is that enhancing your love of yourself? Taking away from it? When you are agreeing to chair the PTA and you don't really want to, is that enhancing your love for yourself or taking away from it? You can see like the rows of dominoes falling, almost everything you do in your life now, if it is overshadowed by the central question, the central desire in you will be changed. This is how the internal affects your out your external world. This is why you have to build inner and build outer. Now building outer, that's pretty obvious. Let's say you just chose one thing. This year I'm going to become financially sound. Financially sound. Every question, or excuse me, everything you decide to do this year, you ask the question ahead of it. Will this make me more financially sound or less financially sound? Interesting, huh? All the things that pop up. If you say, invest in something that will teach you and grow you, will that make you more financially sound even if you're spending money? Yes, if you are, let's say I'm trying to think of something that would make you less financially sound. If you go gambling to the casino, is that going to make you more financially sound? Probably not. That's probably a no. And you can think of a thousand questions, you can think of 10 a day. They will keep answering that question. Can you see, just by choosing one thing how profound this will be? And all the. And by the way, when you're making these external changes, you know just that one about being financially sound, that's an external exterior, you know, materialistic goal. It's going to bring up all the inner stuff in you. Just like your inner goal is going to change the way you interact with the external stuff. See what I'm saying? They go, it's like you do it in one area and it's going to affect the other. So my point today is to try to teach you that you have to be doing both in an ongoing way. Both. Right. This is the point of flow dreaming. Have you ever wondered why if you, if you're trying to Change a pattern in your life, right? Maybe it's a pattern in a relationship, a way of behaving. Maybe it's a physical pattern, like you've. You stopped drinking and then you go back and you find yourself doing it again, whatever it is your pattern. And you wonder, why won't this pattern change? Well, I want you to ask yourself, did I make the internal adjustment and the external adjustment? Did I do both? 9 times out of 10 you're going to see, no, I didn't do both. I made an external adjustment. I stopped drinking. Did I do the internal adjustment? No. Or I told my girlfriend that we. I don't know, I didn't like a behavior which. She stopped doing it. We came to an agreement. She'd stopped doing it. Did she stop doing it? Did she make the internal adjustment? That's why she started doing it again. Can't blame her. You also participated in the external. Did you make the internal adjustment? You have to look at this in everything, right? Flow dreaming creates new internal patterns, by the way. New internal energy paths that then go out and affect those external things. And that is why I teach it. This is why it's my specialty. I teach how to create things. I tell people, what do you want to make in your life? What do you want to create? Are you stuck? It's very easy to get unstuck. Let me show you how. All right, so we're going to go to a very quick break when we get back. I just want to talk to you a little bit more about this concept of getting unstuck and how to create those new internal things. All right, so stay with me for more Flow Dreaming right after this. Hey, it's summer again, and yes, we're on break, but I wanted to share some important stuff with you about the hugely amazing and gorgeous MI School of Flow. Right now, it's either enrolling or it's accepting names onto the wait list. This means that I'm accepting students that I work with personally over the year ahead. And I teach you to do what I do. How to think, how I think, how to work with flow manifest, create and use the universe the way it's meant to be used. You're going to create amazing things using flow. You'll also open and expand your empathic intuition. After doing this for a number of years, I can tell you MI schoolers make strides and hit goals way beyond what they think they're going to be able to do going in over and over. You don't have to be a superstar going in because that's what we're going to turn you into once you get there. If you're ready to go big, if you know you need to deepen your spiritual practice and your personal growth, then this is where you need to be. Your life, after all, only grows as big as you do. So MI School is online. That means you'll connect with me from all over the world. What to do next? Click or swipe on over to flow dreaming dot com. You'll see an area that talks about me school during enrollment. You can set up a free 20 minute call with me. And during weightless times, I invite you to send me a note telling me about your interest. Okay, I look forward to hearing from you and even more to getting to know you as one of my personal students in ME school. Now let's get back to the episode. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. So I was just going to continue here with the kind of the perspective on Flow Dreaming as far as being stuck goes in your life. And I know I've talked about this other episodes, but it bears on this because being stuck is really an indicator, right? I don't look at it as a bad thing. I just look at it as an indicator that you have fallen into one of these perhaps ways of interacting with the world more heavily than the other, or you have withdrawn from both, right? It's just a signal of an imbalance, right? Just like you could have an imbalance in your body, an imbalance in your meridians and your acupuncture system. Meridians. That was redundant. Being stuck to me is what happens when both my inner and my outer are kind of in a loop, you know, like an airplane that isn't landing. They're just going around and around. And it's often harder to stay stuck than it is to go with the flow, right? Because staying stuck means. Think of it like this. If all of life is moving forward, if all of it is like a river of energy racing and running forward, and you're the one who is holding on, holding against that water, holding against time, holding against change takes ongoing effort, effort. You're sitting in a timeout when everyone else is getting sharper, right? They're moving, they're flowing. And it's more wearing where you are because it's an intense, continuous expenditure of energy. So if you want to get out of that state and start sort of, you could say participating. Flow Dreaming is a beautiful way back in because you can say, I want to change one thing inside me. You probably opted out of the world and started to Pull back and hold back and get stuck and get stale because all the external things weren't aligning, you know, and you got frustrated, the job didn't work out, you know, the boyfriend moved out and you pulled back and said, I'll just wait, just wait. So instead of going back out and continuously hacking away at the physical world, you just opted out. So why not try working at the inner world? Why not try working inside yourself? Choose something. What inner quality do you want to change this year? How do you want to show up differently? How do you want to be different in your life? Now use flow dreaming as a way to get to that point, right? What is the emotion you want to feel about yourself? Just pick one. The emotion I want to feel about myself. And already thoughts are popping up. Total self acceptance, excitement, pride, safety. Could be anything. All of these. Ask yourself all year, is this creating more safety or less? Is this creating more pride or less? Is this creating more? And when you flow dream, you're using your emotion to talk to the energy to talk to your life. Imagine flow dreaming is like a flashlight and you're in the dark and you switch on the flashlight and that's your energy, that's your emotional self. When you're in flow, when you are programming, you are lighting up the dark, you are affecting the physical world around you with this kind of bright intention, this bright new feeling, this bright new emotion, and that changes you. It changes everything you can now see around you. Physical world is different. This is a result of flow dreaming as you change and expand who you are inside. And then the world will show up differently for you. You know, in me school, we do this all year. We pick something and we begin working toward it. And we pick outside things, we pick inside things. Sometimes we just choose whatever's on the table looking at you right now that's making the biggest fuss. And I say pick that. Let's start working with that. Why not pick the one that's trying to grab your attention? And how does it grab your attention? It's making you miserable. Oftentimes, that's how it's grabbing your attention. What are we going to do about that? We're going to use our flow. We're going to program, we're going to start understanding this beautiful balance. And then once you've got that, that internal stuff working, once you've got the flow happening, you have your emotional endpoints, you know how you want to feel. And things are starting to change and kind of lift and break free like ice floes, you know, breaking Free in the sunshine. Then we say, all right, how do we want this in your external life now? Do you want to give that a little guidance and direction, too? Well, let's get into some inspired action. And that's why it's a year's journey. A year that goes incredibly short. If you want to know how short a year is. Did you realize. I don't. I don't know if. When you're listening to this, but right now, it's already the 19th of January, 19 days of the new year have already passed. Hello? Where did they go? Almost a full month is up. That's how a year feels when you're working on yourself this way and you end up with a very different set of opportunities in front of you at the end. Very different. Okay, let's get some calls. And I want to save some time here also to do some flow dreaming where we kind of get into this flow state so you can feel it so you know what it is I'm talking about. If you don't know, go to my website. There's that free kit right now that I'm offering where I teach you flow dreaming. I haven't made it for sale yet. I'm still just giving it away, so you might want to go ahead and grab it. Let's start with Janelle. Hey, Janelle. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good.

I'm excellent. I'm sitting here parked at the beach, watching the waves and excited to talk to you.

Wonderful. What can I help you with?

I wanted you to see if you could look in my flow. I had a big mastermind over the weekend and decided, okay, I'm going to do this in my business. I'm going to do this in my business. And then this morning, out of the blue, I got offered a radio show, which had been one of my goals for a long time, but I never actually took action. And then in a random course of events, it just kind of fell into my lap, and I'm like, I want to see if you could maybe look at my flow and see if it's the right thing to do or if it's myself just finding a distraction? I don't know.

Ah, I love it. Do you see any connection between having just gone through a mastermind, which really pulls your energies up into a high level. Right. Getting really clear on what it is you want, and then boom, something shows up for you. You see, that's pretty obvious. Right?

Right.

Right. So you're now going in.

What was it's Totally different than everything we masterminded about.

That's okay. You're creating an energy state, right? The energy state is what is your ultimate goal? What is your ultimate goal for your business inside of you? Don't give me, like, numbers. What do you want your business to do or create for you in your life? What feelings?

The feeling of pride, I guess, and giving. Like, I want it to be where my business feels like I'm in reverence.

Okay. And. And throw into that a feeling of connection, right? Because that's what giving is about, right? Feeling connection and feeling. Feeling usefulness. Right. I'm useful in this connection. Right. And that gives you the resulting feeling of pride, of inner joy, of inner purpose. So if that is the dominant feeling that you're directing your life with right now and you have something show up on your doorstep that wasn't quite in your plans, can you ask yourself, will this radio show help me reach those feelings?

Yes, it will. I just feel like, there you go. Because I also get distracted and, like, throw new businesses or something in the way when I try to, you know, go for what. I don't know if that makes sense.

Yeah, it does. Flow will change your plans, right? That's part of being flexible. That's what flow means, right? Being able to flow with change. Some doors will open, some doors will close. If some close, because you've been working at them and you're trying them, but they're just not working. They're just not giving you what you need, right? You can listen to that and say, all right, maybe I need to set that aside for a little bit. And I know it's hard because we're taught not to give up, right? Don't ever give up. But that doesn't mean you slam your head against the same wall over and over and over, saying, if I only slam it a thousand more times, the bricks will give. Well, they will. But wouldn't you like to have an easier path? Maybe you could simply walk around that wall, and that's what your flow is trying to show you. Tell you either way, you may reach your destination. So I would look at the radio program. If it fills you with joy, if it fits your purpose for your business, is it going to. Is going to help you, give you those. Those feelings, then I would explore it. I definitely wouldn't say no. Now, if there are other things that the radio program has to edge out, put your feelings on those. Are they going to give you what you want? Do you really feel it? Or you just being told that they Will. And believing it because you want to be told. Right. This is about going inside and really figuring it out.

Right. Okay.

Yeah. Sorry. You wanted to say something and I kept talking.

No, I did. There's. There's no. Just the. The other. The other business. I feel like. And I guess there's not a. Even if I take the rodeo radio show, I can still. All my other products.

Unless they're going in two different. Unless they're talking to two different businesses. Is this forcing you decide between two. Sorry.

No. I don't think it forces me to decide. I think I could do both.

Okay. And one of them may grow bigger than the other.

Right.

And if that's the case, you move on that one. That's the one where you have the most ease, the most joy, the most return. Okay. Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, you're so welcome, Janelle. Very good question. Thanks a lot. So I didn't even take Janelle into her flow. Right. Because this was just more about parsing the information that flow has already given her. Right. Just interpretation. That's all she needed. How do I interpret this? What does it mean? Maybe we'll go into flow with the next person here. Maria. Hey, Maria, you there?

Hey, Summer, how are you?

Hi. I'm good.

Great. I have a question because I actually feel like I am moving and shaking and growing in a lot, a lot of ways. But I feel stuck in one area with my brother, actually, and I was hoping that you would be willing to look in his flow or look in my flow or both and see what is going on, because everything else is wonderful in my life. But this is one area where I absolutely do feel stuck. And he's not telling me anything to go on, so I don't really know how to help situation.

So tell me in a nutshell, the disagreement between you and your brother.

It's not. It's really weird. It's not between he and I. It's something that he's wanting to say to me and the rest of the family that he's not really saying. And it's actually causing a rift between me and him now because I'm sort of the middle person, I suppose, in the family. And he's not telling anybody what his issue is with us. He's said that he would. I need your email addresses. I'm going to send you an email, blah, blah, blah. But then that doesn't happen. And we live on different coasts and we were just recently out there to visit, and he was so close to us, and yet he decided not to visit us, and he never told us why there was an issue. So I don't. I don't know. Now I'm feeling angry because, you know, we were all out there, and he didn't come to see. He didn't come to see us. So.

Yeah, okay, so your brother is in a state of conflict with the family, and you know what the issue is. And you're now in a state of conflict because you feel he should share it, and because he doesn't, you feel obligated to keep it a secret. Is that right?

No, I don't know what the issue is at all.

Oh, you don't. You don't know either? So. Okay. You said you were in the middle, though, so how are you in the middle? Sounds like you're not.

I'm in the middle because he'll only talk to me about general things he uses. It's like he's using me to get information about the rest. Like, you know, keep up on the rest of what the rest of the family is doing, but he won't tell me what he's upset about or angry about or.

I don't.

I don't know. And so now I'm feeling like I need to withdraw because I don't want to be in the middle.

Okay, so what's his first name?

Sean.

All right, Sean. John. John. John. John. John. John. I'm going to go look for him. So what I'm doing now is. It's like skipping stones. I feel you. I feel your thoughts, your emotion about him, and I can skip along those to find him. So your question probably is, what's your big issue? Right. What is it? Why are you doing this? Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's things. Some things going on in his own life that he doesn't want your family to know about. He doesn't want them to know about something happening in his life. He wants them out of it. He doesn't want them to see it, know it, hear about it. And I'm not sure if this is something that's, you know, dangerous or illegal or if it's more like something going on inside of him that he's just creating this perception of. I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be judged. I don't want to share, so I don't want to be judged. And if I see them, I will feel judged, and I will feel pressured, and I will feel. And he has all of this. You know, he's built. He's built up a lot of energy and emotion around this, like a. Like an emotional wall that he's using to, like, push against all of you. Why do you talk? Why do you talk to Maria? Well, he feels more comfortable with you, obviously, but you're also not pushy. You're not pushing him. You're not asking. Or if you do ask, you're easy to deflect. So since you are not really, you know, going for it, trying to figure it out, he could be in a state of avoidance even when he's with you. Okay. That's why he talks to you. So I'm just going to tell him that, you know, going forward, she really loves you and cares about you and she wants the family and you to be connected. But she understands if you have some fear about this, if you have some lack thinking. He's got a lot of lack thinking. That's what this is.

Yeah.

So you know what she might say the next time you talk is really hurts me that you don't talk to the rest of the family and you only talk to me. And, you know, I'm happy to talk to you about your life or my life, but I don't want to talk about their lives. If you want to talk to them, you talk to them. You know, our relationship will just be between us. And you know that I don't judge you and you know that I love you, right? That's what he needs to hear. Okay, perfect.

Thank.

You're so welcome. All right. Thanks for your call. Good luck. Bye, Maria.

Bye.

Bye. Yeah, you know, it's so funny because it's like I'm tempted to say what I think is going on in him, but I think she should talk with him and find that out between them. Okay, quick break. When we get back, we're going to do some flow dreaming and I'm going to help you very much see where you are. Are you ready to make inner changes? Do you understand how those drive the outer changes of your life? Or are you someone who needs to start driving the outer changes? Right. Sometimes the outer changes are what stimulate inner change. Right. When you get laid off from work, that stimulates huge inner change. When you get married, that stimulates new change. When you have a baby and you are stimulated to become a mother. Right. That stimulates inner change. The outer world affects the inner. But I find that for most of us, the inner is much more accessible to drive change in the outer world. Because for one thing, when the outer world changes you, you often feel sort of powerless against it, like you're a victim of It. Whereas when you're changing yourself inside, you're always in power. It's all up to you. And then you have a much greater sense of control. In a good way. The good kind of control. Flow control. That's a whole other show. All right, I'll be right back after this with more Flow Dreaming. Here we are on a quick break and I have a few suggestions for you. First of all, if you're wondering how to Flow Dream or what Flow Dreaming really is, I have a free gift bag of downloads for you on my website right now. Go to flowdreaming.com, enter your email. That's it. You'll get the downloads right then, instantly. And they're a 30 minute tutorial on how to Flow Dream. And I give you a free Flow Dream to start with. The same saves me from reteaching the basics over and over again on this show and it gives you the first step toward a freaking awesome life. You're going to find these downloads on my homepage right now. So pop in your email and I'll send them right over to you Next. My manifesting shop@flowdreaming.com is what underwrites this entire show. It brings it to you free every week and it has for the last 10 years, which is saying quite a, quite a lot. And what's there, amazing playlists on all kinds of topics. MP3s, flow dreams that end fear, that get you unstuck, that can get you to your perfect career, that can get you out of debt, help you find your soulmate. So much more. These playlists are incredibly powerful, highly effective. My inbox is full every day with thank you notes from lottery winners, people who've just gotten married, people who've received eye popping bonuses, who've reduced massive amounts of pain or healed themselves in so many different ways. So please go visit the manifesting store@flow dreaming.com and see what you want to pick up and start using to change your life with. Okay, back to the program. Foreign. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Ah. All right, so let's get ourselves into a state of flow, right? A state of alignment. Now, being in flow is like being in the most potent energy that you can experience, being alive. And I put it right up there with, you know, accessing kundalini energy, with, you know, other forms of energy work. Being in a state of flow is being connected emotionally and physically and energetically with the universe, with your future, with your past. It's almost like going into that deeper informational state that you are right, you know, How I mentioned that the external world is really just the finale, right? It's the final how everything shapes up. On the outside, it's the skin of an orange, but inside we're made of energy, molecules, atoms. Those are made of ever finer bits of information. We don't even know where that information ends. What is the finest point? What is that? What is that web of information that is flowing and connecting all things, all through our planet, from our planet to the other planets, from our galaxy to the other galaxies, our solar system, the universe. What is that? I just call it flow. A template of all that is a flowing potentiality. But it's all made of information, collected information, and some would say conscious information. When we tap into flow, we're using an ability that we were born with. We're moving into a state of daydreaming, which is a state that we move in and out of all day anyway, without even realizing it, right? It's already hardwired into us. But instead of daydreaming without any sort of direction, instead of really checking out and getting lost, we're going with a state of intention. Imagine if daydreaming was just like your email. Your email checks the server, does it in the background, you don't even notice it, just doing it. Imagine if your daydreaming was like you checking your server, you checking in with your soul, your greater field of information of what you are. Well, what happens if you piggyback some consciousness into that? If you daydream awake, and by awake, I mean even more awake, you realize, I'm doing this. I'm creating this, I'm making this. What if I imagine this feeling of flow, this great state of the cosmos, universe, moving ever forward in an expansive state, collecting information, collecting experiences, adding to itself, adding to itself. This is what I'm doing, and I'm doing it through a lifetime of experiences right now. And I'm going to feel my way into this. I'm going to imagine it until it clicks and it just clicks. Just. I'm just suddenly there and I feel it. Something big and wide and open and. And ready. Listening to me, part of me. This is how going into flow feels, right? This is what you learn when you start the practice. And then once you're in there, you realize whatever I feel, whatever comes up out of my heart, my emotion, is the way I communicate in this state. If I communicate with words, words become these little limiters, right? Just like when you're reaching for a word, you can't find it, you actually feel like Your expression is blocked. It's frustrating. But when you feel an emotion, you never search for an emotion. Sometimes you can't put a name on what you're feeling, but you're feeling it anyway, right? This is why emotion is much bigger than thought. Thought is what we derive from our emotional state, from our memory, from all kinds of things. So when you're in flow and you're communicating with your emotion, you're in a state of active creation. Because what you're feeling is being made, it's being experienced, it's going around you, it's becoming you, it's becoming part of you. You are adding something to yourself simply by feeling it. Now we feel things all day long. And that, yes, becomes part of us. That's why we stay often trapped in our lack patterns. Because we keep feeling them all day. And every time we feel them, we're adding a little more, adding a little more. But when you're feeling in flow, it's like feeling in a super potent, hyped up, richer state. And when you're doing it with consciousness, instead of adding little bits of emotion, little bits of frustration, little bits of this, little bits of that, you're adding the holy tamale of it, for lack of a better way to describe it. That's why we flow, dream. So close your eyes with me and we'll go and feel this for just a couple minutes. Just a sensation of flow. Flow with this desire to experience inner change, to have an inner goal. How do I want to be this year? How do I want to feel? What new characteristic do I want inside of me? And you're relaxed and your eyes are closed. And go ahead, lift off in a daydream like you're lifting off into the clouds in a balloon. There you go, up you go. Beautiful day, isn't it? Sunny, bright, warm, sweet air. Up, up, up. You're moving into your flow. Your flow. Your flow is the energy that's driving this balloon up into the air. It's lifting you. You're being carried. You don't even worry about it. You don't worry about the direction. It's the natural direction. It's the right direction. Here you are moving into your flow ever deeper. And you're recognizing. I want to change something in me. I want to grow something. I want to grow a new characteristic, want to grow a new way of feeling. This year I want to understand something. And you can fill this in. I want to be in a place of ease. This year. This year I want to be in balance. This year I want to be in a state of ultimate, continuous, ongoing inner trust. This year, I'm growing fearlessness in me in all things. And all of these sound good, but maybe one or two are more core. You're more ready. You're right on the lip, right on the. Right on the tip of them. You know it's your next thing. You know it's your next step. Because it's been such a part of all the things that happened last year. You kept bumping up against the need for this one particular quality. What is that? Acknowledge it, receive it. And now say to your flow, this is my year for it. And once that feeling is out there, you're welcome to open your eyes and return from flow. That's a small example of flow state. And if you reached it, beautiful. If you didn't, no worries. I took you in quickly and briefly. You can do flow dreams that are 10, 15 minutes long that lead you more gently into that space. So there you have it. The show for the week. I love you all, and I will see you again next week for another episode of Flow Dreaming. Well, look at that. Show's over. But before you go, did you know that my mom has a podcast, too? Her show airs live right after mine. It comes up Next, we tape our live shows back to back. Her show is called the Dear Venus show, so stay listening and you can call in or look it up live on itunes if you're listening via podcast. Her show is really good. It's really funny. And she reads people's minds and futures and talks to dead people for real. It's called the Dear Venus show on itunes.