#498 Prove Yourself

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope.

And joy and relief.

And that is what being aware of your flow does.

It gives you a feeling of power.

Again in your lives.

Oh, my God. You were so on target.

You are so amazing. I can't thank you enough.

Breath.

It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. And you know that feeling when you touch it, it just spreads through you.

Thank you for taking my call. I don't know why I feel like crying. I think I just feel your love. Of course. And I think I'm gonna get some ANSWERS.

I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. The first, before we get started, a really quick note. If you found this show on itunes or by downloading the Flow Dreaming podcast app, it would mean so much if you took a moment to review it. That is how other people will find this show and get the same great value out of it that I hope you're getting. So my huge thanks and sparkles and flow go to all of you who just take that few moments to go write a quick little message of telling other people.

This is good. Go listen. Thanks.

Now off we go to the show.

Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hi, everybody, this is Summer. Delighted to be with you. I just got back in town after spending a week in the Bahamas. How fabulous is that, right? I love my work. The reason it was work is because I took a group of my diamonds. Those are my most dedicated and devoted students, and we spent a few days there getting deep into flow, getting the experience of what being in a current feels like. Literal, a literal current. We all went. Spent a day snorkeling, boating, went to a deserted beach island, actually several of them, more than one, and really just honed in on what it feels like to let go, to see what happens when you let go. To experience trust, to experience faith, to experience inner power and strength, facing fears. We did all of it. It was extraordinary. Extraordinary. So, yes, I'm back and very much looking forward to today's topic, which I had to change up at the last minute like I usually do. You don't know what the other topic, and you'll never know because I already scrapped it off the books. Instead, I wanted to talk about something that came up over the weekend, that came up it's come up recently, actually, in a number of people's lives I've been speaking with. It's this need to prove ourselves right. We make bargains with ourselves, we prove ourselves, we equate this. If we do this, then we get that. I'd like to take this hour to deconstruct that entire mental construct, that entire belief system, that way of looking and thinking that is epidemic. Why do we need to prove ourselves? And why especially do we need to prove ourselves through suffering? Right? The more I suffer, the better I am. Nope, that's not true. We're going to reframe all of that in today's episode of Flow Dreaming. So welcome to anybody who's listening to this for the first time, or you're still pretty new to the whole process. Flow Dreaming, as I always state, the beginning of every podcast, every episode, is that it is a way of looking at the world, a way of thinking, a way of interacting, a way ultimately of manifesting. Right? If manifesting rings your bell, then you found the right place. What we are inside is reflected in the world around us. Everything that we have, everything we encounter, everything that we do mirrors off of us. So when you learn to flow dream, you're doing a multitude of things. When you're embracing this philosophy, a multitude of things, one of which is learning the technique itself. The technique itself is how you open to speak to the universe. It's how you tell the world around you, tell non physical, if you will, this is what I am. This is who I am. This is what I intend. And I'm feeling it. Flow Dreaming is a highly emotional technique. That is what we do. We emote, we feel. It's our preferred method of communication. So in that sense, Flow Dreaming is very unlike meditation. Very unlike. It's more like a bubble bath for your mind. You don't even have to visualize if you're not good at visualizing. You don't have to. You just have to feel, feel, feel. And once you start walking that path of how do I feel more? You're going to realize there's a lot of things inside you that you stopped feeling, that were broken, that you turned off. And so for many, we walk through this path of healing as well. Healing all of those things that we no longer feel or that we didn't want to feel or were too hurtful to feel. We open up, we knit ourselves back together. And that's where really Flow dreaming takes you into this whole other world, whole other way of looking at life. We get deep into Ideas of trust, self, trust, self, love, control, all kinds of things. And that is what has sustained this podcast for the last, ooh, 11 years. What are we at 11 years now? Uh huh. Last 11 years. So every show we pick a different topic, we go into it in depth. Sometimes we talk about flow manifesting straight up. More often than not anymore, we're talking about things related to the idea of flow. How I look at things as a flow dreamer, as a manifestor. So that's where we circle right back around to today. Prove yourself right. Our topic, if anything that you hear during the hour really strikes a chord, I encourage you go to my website@flow dreaming.com I have hundreds of recorded flow dreams there, hundreds of them on all kinds of different topics. And you can download, you can purchase and download playlists of these topics to help you start reconstructing and remodeling whole aspects of your life. Start now, don't wait, just get going, Pick some, start moving with it. You can try the whole thing for free. You can learn the whole thing for free by going to the website as well, downloading my free kit. I teach you how to flow dream in it for absolutely zero dollars, nothing at all. Just because I want it out there into the world. Okay, so enough said. That's what I always call housekeeping at the beginning of the. Going to give to you some examples that I've heard in the last couple months where I've noticed that people have created some bargains with themselves, right? If I do this, then I can have that. Let's look at that mindset. If I do this, then I'll get that. I had someone tell me a few weeks ago, I want to work with you as a diamond, which is my, you know, most devoted student essentially. She said, but I have to earn the money first. I have to prove to myself that I can get enough clients in my own business to afford you. And I said, why are you doing that? The point of working with me is to learn to get enough clients in your own business. You're trying to do something without support so that you can then get the support that you need. So it's kind of, pardon me, ask backwards, but this was the bargain she had made with herself. She created this in her mind. I don't deserve to work with you until in my mind I've completed X, Y, Z. So we got down to a issue of worth and deserving and punishment and reward, right? The reward is you get to work with me. The punishment is if you're not good enough you don't. So from a flow perspective, right, I understand this. This is an epidemic perspective. This is how our civilization is built. Basically. From a flow perspective, though, there's another way. There's another way that you can treat yourself that will lead you to success quicker. And we'll get into that in a minute. I just want to point out some of these other bargains that we habitually are making. I had another student point out, as soon as I get through all of this really, really hard work, she was building a business. As soon as I get through all this really, really hard work, I'm working five, six, seven days a week, 12 hours a day. I'm so tired. I'm so exhausted. Like, why are you doing that? She says, well, after I do this, then I get to take some time off. Then my reward is I'll just take a week or a couple weeks off and. And regenerate. My question back is, well, do you like working like that? No, I hate it. It's horrible. Why are you doing it? Because I have to. Why do you have to? Because I'm making myself. Because I'll get a reward. I struck a bargain inside myself presenting these scenarios to you. So you can see if you two are doing these in any area of your life, I'm tolerating something, perhaps tolerating a partnership that's lukewarm, a marriage that's dead and gone. What bargain have you struck? If I stick around a little longer, then I will get xyz. If I stay in this job a little longer, then I will get X, Y, Z. In other words, if I put energy into a bad thing, then I will get a good thing. Right? Stop right there. Many of you who have been listening to Flow Dreaming for a long time, you heard that? You noticed I was saying something else in that sentence. If I do a bad thing, then I will be rewarded with a good thing. This flies against the very foundation of flow, of universal principles of manifestation. If you do a bad thing, you create more bad things. If you do a good thing, you create more good things. Do you hear that? If you do a bad thing, you don't get a good thing, you just get more of bad things. And this is what explains why every time we make bargains with ourself, we end up oftentimes not ever getting to that reward, not ever getting to the reward. Hear me. How many of you have said, I'm going to buy new clothes after I lose 10 pounds? Who has done that? Some of you have, but usually it's because you have something bigger in mind. And losing that £10 doesn't feel bad. It doesn't feel like a restriction, doesn't feel you're excited to lose it. You're doing a good thing to get an even better thing. Do you get that? I'm already starting to shift it here. You're doing a good thing to get an even better thing. The problem occurs when we incentivize ourselves, right? We create these system of incentives or rewards. You can work with me, right? You get to take weeks off, you get to buy new clothes, whatever it may be, whatever your bargain was, you're creating this do a bad thing to get a good thing. It's a, it's a holdover way of thinking from, you know, eat your peas and that way you can get a dessert or wow, live a really hard, difficult, unhappy life. Tolerate it, put up with it, so you can get to heaven, right? From the, from the micro to the macro, these are belief systems that ripple through our culture. Do a bad thing, tolerate a bad thing, and you'll get a good thing, okay? This is the belief pattern that's happening every time you're choosing to suffer for a prize at the end. Now, notice we're starting to talk about suffering, right? Because you're thinking, gosh, summer, shouldn't you have to work hard to get prizes at the end? I mean, that's, you know, if you work hard in school and you get an A and then you learn the most, right? I mean, there's, there's a prize. It's. You should, you should work hard. Are you telling me not to work hard? No, no, no, no. Not work hard. Put in effort. Here is the big distinction, the takeaway, if you will. Effort will yield reward. Suffering does not yield reward. Most of the time when we're making a bargain with ourself, we are not saying, I will put in a great deal of beautiful and delicious, lovely, wonderful, feeling effort and I'll get a reward as well, right? Who says that? Positive to positive. Usually it's tinted more like this. I'm going to do all of this crummy stuff, eat up all of my time, not talk to my friends for weeks, starve myself, save all my pennies, whatever it is that feels like a restriction, that feels like a retraction, that feels like a punishment, that feels like I have to suffer, burn myself out. Then I'll get a reward that's very different than if I let myself go into this period of wonderful, delicious effort, loving every moment of that effort. Get it Very bad. Excuse me. Very different, very different energies. So when we prove ourselves to ourselves, to get back to the. The main topic, it's often what can I tolerate? What can I suffer through? What can I weather? If I do it, if I weather it, if I'm strong enough to bear that burden, then I will get a prize. Do you know what kind of life that sets up for you? A life filled with burdens, a life filled with challenges of suffering so you can get that prize. That is what you end up creating over and over in your life. Those of you who have to deal with drama, drama addicts and people like that, creating all of these horrible suffering situations so they can get a prize at the end, they don't even know they're doing it. So what's the other kind of person? What's the other way of doing things? I would like to say it's something like this. I'm going to get myself into my gym or exercising all week long. I'm going to eat really well. All of these things feel good. They really feel good. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. I feel like I'm nourishing myself, feel like I'm giving to myself. That's what I'm going to do for the next month. I have a feeling I'll probably lose weight as a result. So basically I'm going from one good thing to another good thing. My effort is simply sticking with it. Commitment, right? But commitment is not the same thing as suffering. Commitment is just the effort of sticking with. If you are building a business right now, I know many of you are coaches, many of you are in the midst of building businesses or you're involved in the healing arts or other things where you have to have new clients coming into you. What if you approached it with a feeling of. Every day I plunge into my work, I plunge into helping people see what I can do because it feels good. And maybe now and then I'm called into overdrive. But when I'm called into overdrive, I say, yeah, I'm ready for that. I'm okay. I'm good with it. Because it's not constant. It's just when I need to and when I'm done, I find myself feeling my rewards, enjoying the reward of my commitment. It felt good to do it and it felt good when I received the end result energetically from a flow dreaming, a flow perspective. What is happening is I create good feeling and I'm rewarded with even more good feeling. Guys. Following this, the biggest shift is in your understanding. Put in effort, put in commitment, do not put in suffering. The moment you start putting in suffering, then you are manifesting, generating more suffering. You get it because what you are is what you receive. What you are is what you receive. If you are in a state of suffering right now, I bet you things are not going so great, something is breaking. And that's why we look back and we go, yeah, yeah, I may have. I may have really, you know, got all those people on my mailing list or listed all those homes or, you know, whatever it is. I may have gotten that prize from all of the work that I was doing. But haven't you ever noticed that there's always usually a breakdown as well, a little bit of a penalty that comes as a result? Burnout. You get sick. How many of you guys get sick? You know, you finally get that vacation, you finally get through all that work, and what do you do? You go home and get sick and stay in bed for two weeks. It's not that you're being penalized for overworking, it's that you are suffering. Suffering begets suffering. It will be there. So I'm trying to turn you on to a different way of living, right? A different way of thinking, a different way of approaching. So I'd like you to think right now, what are you doing where you're putting in effort? Think of something you're putting a tremendous amount of effort into. You have a goal, you have a prize even that you've created for yourself. You've created some incentive. Now how are you moving toward that prize? Are you suffering or are you in a state of pleasure and joy? If you're not in a state of pleasure and joy as you move toward this goal, why not? Who told you that you couldn't be? Who told you you had to go into a negative state in order to receive a positive? You get it? That's what we're talking about. Who told you you had to go into a negative state in order to receive a positive? Because that's ridiculous. Let's just throw that out. Just take it out of your head. Throw it, throw it into the air around you. You don't need that anymore. They. If we look at most of our goals, our long term goals in life, it's to have a kind of smooth, easy, beautiful unfolding of experiences. Unfolding love, creating intimacy, creating good friendships, smooth, easy work that's constantly exciting to us, leading us into new things, never getting old, right? We're painting a picture here of a life, your body Even working, smooth, functional, in great shape. These are the big goals that we're all after. Does it make any sense to go into negative states in order to get those positive goals? Does it ever? Never, never, ever, ever does. So look at anything you're doing right now and notice if you're in a negative state about it. If you're in a negative state about it, you may still achieve your goal because you're. You're doing the old, you know, rewards and punishment routine. But there is another way, one that doesn't incorporate the punishment. One that says, just enjoy your effort, focus, commit, challenge yourself. That's very different than suffering. Very, very, very different. What happens if you shift over into that? And you say to yourself, I don't even know how to shift over into that? Well, my friends, stay with flow, dreaming. You will learn. You will. Your thinking will change. This isn't overnight stuff. This isn't like single, single episode stuff is a way of thinking, behaving, approaching and communicating that you adopt over time, over years. Some of my best students have been practicing this more than 10 years with me. And their lives are revealing the fruits of it. Not in burnout, not sick, not stressed out, not feeling overwhelmed. These are all negative states that create more negative states. What you're experiencing is what you're telling Flo more of, please. This is what I'm feeling. Flo says, oh, she's obviously picking those feelings. They must be working for her. She must be wanting them because she keeps going into them over and over. I guess we'll just keep serving those up. Weird that she thinks she's going to get this wonderful thing at the end when she just keeps going through all of this stuff. You guys seeing this, seeing the paradox here, the hypocrisy, whatever you want to call it, that's what I want to point out. So what is that other way? That other way is this. Look at the thing. I'll repeat it one more time. Look at the thing that you're doing right now. Notice if you have negative emotion inside of it or surrounding it or that you're feeling is your body breaking down from it. What are you sacrificing? It's another good word, another way of looking at it. What are you sacrificing for something good? Do you have to sacrifice? Do you have to go into that state of sacrifice of giving up something, something valuable, something treasured, like your health or your time or your money? Do you have to sacrifice to get something good? Can you let go of that? Just close your Eyes right. Now, let's let go of that. If the thought is still baffling you, what I'm talking about, just keep listening. It will sink in, it will click. And when it does, you realize I won't sacrifice. Now, if I invest in something, I'm investing in it because it feels good to do so. I know it's right for me and it will help me. And it's an act of self love and self trust to do so. It feels good and it feels strong and I don't have to prove anything to myself to give that to myself. Right? Some of you are still caught up in the wall. Then I'll buy things that I don't deserve and then I'll go into debt and then I'll end up in all this debt and I won't have done anything for it again. That's an old model of thinking. You're projecting lack that you will only use and not generate. Is that who you are? Are you just a user? Do you just use stuff? Do you just buy yourself stuff, give yourself stuff and not generate anything you say? No, of course not. I generate. I just don't generate enough. I don't get paid enough or I don't do this enough. Okay, so you do generate, but on a low level, on a level that's less than what you want to receive back. So you generate less than you're receiving back. And that's where you're taking this into debt and you have this expectation for yourself. Some of you are getting your hackles up on your back. You're saying, what is that? That's not why I'm in debt. True, many of you are in debt from medical expenses, from things partners did to you, divorces and so on. There are many reasons, just bringing up one, which is a mentality, which is a way of thinking that we want to ditch, we want to get rid of. I don't want you projecting feelings of lack, lack of faith, lack of trust, feeling that you'll just be guiltily enjoying something that you will never find a way to pay for or make up. Right? That's again, that's sacrifice. Then you're saying, well, I'm going to sacrifice my income or I'm going to sacrifice my savings. I'm going to say, go instead into a different frame of mind. Whatever I'm choosing to do is going to help me generate more of same. If I put effort into something, it's going to generate more beautiful good things. If I take time off, it's going to generate Feelings of rest and refreshment. If I choose to have something done by a certain amount of time and I need to speed things up and go all in for a little bit, I will do that. But the moment I start to say I'm sacrificing too much, I stop and I say, because now I don't want to be saying to my flow, I build things by sacrificing too much. Yeah, a lot of you just went aha on that one, right? I build things by sacrificing too much. Is that what you want to do in your life? No, not at all. And that could apply to building a business or building a relationship. I build a relationship by sacrificing too much. No, stop. Don't. You don't need to prove yourself. You don't have to wait to receive your prize after you've gone through enough sacrifice or suffering. The point of life is to get so skilled at generating, creating, putting effort in that when you receive those rewards, they're just part of the whole package. They're just part of the whole package. You're already feeling good and you're just getting more good. Good begets good, right? Good energy begets more good energy. Sacrificial energy begets more sacrificial energy. So I hope you took that moment to look around in your life, discover what you're sacrificing, discover where you're stressed out, where you're suffering in one way or another to achieve some noble end, and then say to yourself, no, I don't want to do that anymore. That's the way I was brought up in my culture in this time period, by my family, by my nation. But I don't want to do that anymore. I really want to learn a different way of living. Alrighty. So I have heard from my producer that the typical phone line that we use for this live taping is down. So I'm going to give you a phone number right now. It's one time only, meaning don't use it any other time except for this one particular podcast. If you happen to be listening live to the live radio broadcast of this taping, it is 888-455-0108. Right. If you want to call and talk to me, I'm going to go to a break. You can call and talk to me. I will look in, see what's going on in your flow, see if we pick up any of these patterns in you. Do some energy work. Go ahead and dial that number one more time. It's 8. 8845-501-08888. Looks like it's toll free. I don't know if it's toll free worldwide or not, but sounds like it must be in the US. 888-455-0108. Got it. So if you guys want to call in right now, I'll take a few of your calls. If none of you copied that number down fast enough, and we don't, then we'll just shorten up the show a bit and we'll go into a flow drain when we get back. Right now we're going to take a quick break and I'll see you in just a minute. Hey, it's summer again and yes, we're on break, but I wanted to share.

Some important stuff with you about the.

Hugely amazing, amazing and gorgeous ME School of Flow. Right now, it's either enrolling or it's.

Accepting names onto the wait list. This means that I'm accepting students that I work with personally over the year ahead. And I teach you to do what I do. How to think, how I think, how to work with flow. Manifest, create and use the universe the way it's meant to be used. You're going to create amazing things using flow. You'll also open and expand your empathic intuition. After doing this for a number of years, I can tell you MI schoolers make strides and hit goals way beyond what they think they're going to be able to do going in over and over. You don't have to be a superstar going in because that's what we're going to turn you into once you get there. If you're ready to go big, if you know you need to deepen your spiritual practice and your personal growth, then this is where you need to be. Your life, after all, only grows as big as you do. So ME School is online. That means you'll connect with me from all over the world.

What to do next?

Click or swipe over to flowgrooming.com you'll see an area that talks about me school. During enrollment, you can set up a free 20 minute call with me.

And during waitlist times, I invite you.

To send me a note telling me about your interest. Okay, I look forward to hearing from you and even more to getting to know you as one of my personal.

Students in MI School.

Now let's get back to the episode.

Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Yes, yes, yes. We have calls. Thank you for using the alternate number. Let's go to Donna in New York. Hi Donna, how are you? I don't hear. Donna, Hi. Oh, there you are. Hi, Donna. You're live on air with me.

Hi, Summer. Oh, I was just sending you an email and just telling you how I wanted to speak with you, and. And then you gave the phone number to call.

Perfect. Divine timing.

Yes. I'm so happy to talk to you. I've been listening to you for years, and I'm kind of in. I've taken a break from listening to the Prosperity Challenge and your flow dreams, and I feel like, you know, I've been able to manifest all these amazing work opportunities and everything is coming up, but I'm just completely in a panic mode, like, overwhelmed. My relationship coming to an end, and I have all this work coming up, and it's all amazing things, but I'm just wondering if you can, like, look into my flow and let me know what I'm doing wrong, because everything's amazing, but I'm just in a. You know, I don't know. I'm doing something wrong, I think.

So you. It sounds like you have just a lot going on. Is that what's happening? You're just. You're kind of in an overwhelmed state.

Definitely.

Where is the. Where is the anxiety coming from necessarily? You said your relationship is. Is ending.

That's sort of a product of all this other stuff, I think. I mean, I tend to look at him and find things wrong with the relationship, feeling, you know, lost in another way and.

Okay, but.

Yeah, but you're, like, all eyes on me right now. Like, the work is. I'm. I'm in a big stage right now. I'm about to be, you know, seen. And so maybe I'm scared of what criticism might be coming or not doing the right thing. And I think.

What'S your line of work? What is your line of work? Art. Art. Art. Painting or sculpture or theater?

Like, all of it. Yeah.

Okay.

Like an installation. Sculpture, painting, theater, Live model.

Beautiful. Okay. All right. So I'm looking in you. I'm just asking these questions as I poke around to see, you know, one of the things that's going on inside you is you feel very uncomfortable with the places that you're going. Like a duck out of water. It's kind of like when you're always dreaming to get something and then finally you get it and you realize. I feel completely unfamiliar with this. You feel that way to me right now. These things you've wanted and wished for, they finally happened, or they're finally happening, and you're inside them and you're. You're asking yourself, wow, I just. I don't. I don't even feel like myself. Like everything I'm used to, all the old handlebars I used to hold onto are not there in this new place. Like, there's nothing to hold on to, nothing that feels steady or familiar. This is a big energy inside of you right now, and I would like to help correct it. Can you close your eyes with me? Okay, closing your eyes. I want you to feel yourself right now in your life, inside your art, inside this place where you're really being seen. Having achieved this thing, go ahead and bring your relationship in there as well. Everybody's there, the whole kit and caboodle. Everything is there. And as you walk through this scene, as you feel everything around you, I want you to see a chair in the middle. A very. Like a wooden chair, like a throne. Very strong, very heavy. So heavy you couldn't even lift it up if you did, if you wanted to. It's like it's been bolted to the floor. Go sit in that chair. Feel how steady it is. Feel how solid it is. Feel how now you get to view everything that happens around you. But you didn't lose anything. You're not getting lost in anything going on around you. You're in the chair. Chair is always steady. Chair is always strong. Chair is always familiar. Chair is old. Chair is part of you. Chair is your flow, your ancient flow, your strength. And all these things that are happening around you are happening around you. Your throne. It's solid, it's safe. It's your safety. You're safe there. And after a while, you start to feel on the throne, like, I want to get up because I see some things that are exciting. I want to get up and walk over, and I wanted to participate and be in them. And when you're ready, you get up from the chair and you go into those things and you say, ah, this feels good now. Feels good to create and be seen. Let people see what I've done, be exposed. I can handle that now because I can always go back to my chair. And that chair isn't my past, and it isn't going small, and it isn't retreating. It's just this deep inner safety built into my life, built into me that I have. All right. And you can open your eyes.

Thank you.

Did that help at all? I know we didn't talk about the relationship, but that's the big, big elephant in the room type of energy I felt with you.

You're right, because never. Like, I'm starting To receive all these rewards, all the work I've been doing for 10 years, and now it is. I'm uncomfortable with. With, I don't know, being in this position that. Don't even know why, you know? Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah.

It's like I don't come from anything, and now I'm receiving all these things and having to deal with people from different classes, and it's just. It's shocking how much I can't handle it.

Yeah, understood. So just keep that feeling of safety around you and keep that feeling that inside you, there's a part of you that's worried that it's all going to go away. This is just going to come and go, and then I'll be back to where I was. Or it's confusion. You don't need to even play in that confusion. Just remember that safe chair. And, you know, obviously you were given this image because it's something you can easily call to mind anytime you need it. Right. So anytime during your day, during your week, just go back and say, hey, I'm okay. I brought myself to this point. I'm safe. I can handle it. All right, Donna, thank you. I wish you so much good luck and good flow. And, you know, if you have created this success, you've earned it. Right. Something in you has grown to the level of being successful. It doesn't just happen to you. It's not like it's separate from you, you know, smacking you in the face. You have grown inside to be successful, and the life you have right now is just showing you that. And that is the person you're getting to see. The new you who became successful, that's the person you're getting to know. It's not the outside success. It's the fact that you've become that person inside. Inside.

Is there a flow dream that you can suggest for. I mean, obviously the immediate relief one, or I was gonna. Some other one. I don't know if you have any suggestions.

Oh, yeah. If you have trouble with panic. You know, I just came out with a brand new flow dream. It's called instant anxiety relief. It's pretty good. I would try that one. I would also do the meditation. Wondrous change and transition. That helps people when they're feeling out of balance, like, I don't know what's going on. Everything is changing around me. Helps you feel masterful in the change. That'd probably be really good for you too. All right, my dear, you've got this. You would not have anything on Your plate that you weren't ready for. Okay.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome, my dear.

Much love. Thank you.

Keep me updated. You better send me that email, but tell me in a month how it goes. All right. Bye, Donna. Take care. All right, we're gonna go to a another quick break. I believe we'll see if I have any more callers and then if not, we'll just go straight into our fabulous Flow dream where we do not need to prove ourselves at all. Stay with me. Here.

We are on a quick break and I have a few suggestions for you. First of all, if you're wondering how to Flow Dream or what Flow Dreaming really is, I have a free gift bag of downloads for you on my website right now. Go to flowdreaming.com, enter your email.

That's it.

You'll get the downloads right?

Right. Then instantly.

And they're a 30 minute tutorial on.

How to Flow Dream. And I give you a free Flow Dream to start with.

This saves me from reteaching the basics over and over again on this show.

And it gives you the first step toward a freaking awesome life.

You're going to find these downloads on.

My homepage right now. So pop in your email and I'll.

Send them right over to you.

Next.

My manifesting shop@flow dreaming.com is what underwrites this entire show.

It brings it to you free every.

Week and it has for the last 10 years, which is saying quite a lot. And what's there, Amazing playlists on all kinds of topics. MP3s, flow dreams that end fear that get you unstuck, that can get you to your perfect career, that can get.

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Okay, back to the program. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Turns out we do have someone hanging on the line. It's Brittany. Brittany, you're calling from Michigan. How are you? Are you there? Brittany? We'll give you a second to get up. Ah, there you are. How are you? What can I help you with?

Doing good.

Thanks for taking my call. I'm calling about my relationship with my fiance. We have two kids together, and we've separated a couple times, and we're about to. To move back in together and try things again. And I just want to make sure it's, you know, the right thing to do.

What's his name? Chris. Name? Chris. Okay. Yep. What is Chris? What does Chris do? What's his occupation?

He is, like, a musical engineer at a studio. Music studio.

Mm.

Okay. All right, Chris. Chris, what do you want me to ask exactly? Where is your uncertainty?

I guess I just want to make sure that, you know, this time, like, financially it's gonna be, you know, more stable. He's gonna kind of step up to the plate and, you know, got two kids.

Right? Yeah. I'm echoing you. All right, so we have Chris. I found him. You know, he's the kind of guy, hi, Chris. I'm just saying hi to him. He's. He's answering me. He's listening. He wants to do the right thing. But this guy's not real great at follow through. You probably noticed this follow through, he tends to drop the ball. He tends to let things go. And this is looking back at, like, you getting together and then being apart and together and apart. I think a lot of it has been that he's just never followed through. You know, you can always get back together with him, and he will do. He'll try to do good for a while. He'll do what you need for as long as it's kind of easy. But then he drifts off. He just drifts into this place where he forgets what needs to be done. He's not up to doing what needs to be done. It's part of his personality. It's part of his personality at this point. And so you're trying to change something that's kind of fundamental to him, that he will peter out. I'm going to say to Chris, you know, that's something that most people are striving to mature past. I'm telling him he's not a kid. You're not a kid anymore. It's not like you can just decide you're not interested in that instrument anymore and pick another one and just drop it and do another and do another. You have to. You have to play a longer game, get a longer vision. And that's where he stops. He shakes his head like he doesn't know what that longer vision is. He doesn't really know what he wants even in his own life. Have you noticed that he's just kind of moving through the paces, right?

Yeah.

So I know this is not the best news for you, but, you know, at least it gives you an understanding. You knew this about him already? I'm just verifying it. So, you know, you're going to need to either get comfortable with the fact that he's a stop and start kind of guy. Stop and start, stop and start. And make some changes, you know, inside yourself, get your own career going, something.

Mm.

If you want to make this work.

Okay.

He would like to be. Yeah. I mean, he wants to be around his kids. He wants to do the right thing. He just, you know, I just, I keep getting this image of a guy like, you know, dropping the ball, just, he just drops it. He fumbles. He doesn't. He's not, he's not understanding what long term planning means, what long term vision means and just how to stay with something. It's almost like he just gets lost. Okay, sure. One more. Yeah.

I have a small business that I'm growing and it seems to be growing and doing really, really well. And so moving back with Chris would be like, he would become more of a part of that and, and, you know, maybe opening up, you know, a storefront and stuff. I'm a designer, a graphic designer, and I also do like handcrafted items as well.

Uh huh.

So he would kind of become, you know, more of a part of that.

He could, he could be careful, though. I don't think you want to be in a position to boss him around because you'll become his mom. You know, you're already in danger of that. And if he helps you anymore, you will start to mom him. Okay. So yes, he could do that for you, but I wouldn't suggest it.

Okay.

Okay. All right, my dear, good luck. I send you a lot of flow. I think he's a nice guy, but you just have to know that about him. Okay.

All right, thank you.

So you're so welcome. Take care. Thanks for the call. All right, we are going to do some flow dreaming now. You guys ready? We have a few minutes left left to just not judge. Right? We don't have to prove ourselves to ourselves. And you know, really the bigger topic kind of embedded in this, in this hour today is you don't have to prove yourself to yourself. You are already good enough. Right? You're already good enough. I mean, really, I could have just called this another show on self love. Right? You're already good enough. These challenges, these things that you're setting out to do for yourself, it's to amuse you. It's to keep you Interested in life, it's for you to see what you're made of, to stretch all of these goals that you have. And yes, some of them are intense goals. They're. They're where you have to say, well, I have to do this for my kids or I have to have enough money for this or that. Yes, some of them are survival based. But once you get past survival mode, everything you're doing is just to see more of who you are and you can let go of having to prove that you're good enough. Proving to. Who are you proving it to? Who do you need to prove what you can handle, what you can hold, what burdens you can put on your back? Who do you need to prove that to? Because if you need to do that, you're going to just continue to have more burdens on your back. There is nothing more sad than someone who comes to me and says, I have handled all of this. I am. I am holding these heavy bags of cement. All of this suffering I am handling as if it were a point of pride, and I say, I'm so sad for you. Why would you want to be holding all of this? Why do you want to suffer with it? Why are you sacrificing? Oh, okay, let's reframe. You can get all of this done, all of the same stuff done, without sacrifice and without suffering. Lead on. Here's how. All right, so close your eyes with me. Let's do a quick flow dream together. We have about five minutes. It is not meditation. I want you to feel this. Really feel it. Nice deep breath, relaxing. You hear me? Oh, look at that. Oh, yawn. I love to yawn before I flow dream because it relaxes my jaw and my face and it infuses my brain with oxygen and I release and I let go into flow. Flow, flow, flow, flow. For me, right now is a tropical sea that extends as far as I can see. Gorgeous blue green energy just way out to the horizon. On and on and on. And I take a swim in this beautiful energy, this beautiful current. It's soft as feathers, billowing, blowing around me. Perhaps I'm walking into it, floating through it, being carried by it, Releasing, letting go. Oh, oh. Maybe I'm on a little pool float in this tropical sea of energy. My flow is carrying me forward, carrying me into my next step, into the next place I want to be. And I'm thinking right now about all the things that I've done, all the things that I'm doing, all the things I want to do. This person I Want to become what I want to achieve. I'm looking at it all and I'm feeling it all. Oh yes, I say yes, yes, yes. Everything I do as I progress toward it, I want to be in a good state, feeling relaxed, feeling excited, putting in effort. But it's a peaceful effort. It's stress free effort. It's effort coming from a great and wonderful place inside myself that says, oh, this is so fun. I love doing this. It feels such, I feel such pleasure doing this. I feel this right now. And I can look over and almost look behind my shoulder and I can remember, I can see different times in my life when I was doing things that didn't feel so good, that felt hard, mean, difficult, stressful, tiring, draining. Look at all those. And I think no wonder. All I got in response was more of tired and draining. Or maybe I did get a reward, but I didn't really reward myself in the biggest way possible because I just went right back into that same difficult climbing feeling again. Over and over. I want to let go of that whole cycle, that whole routine that over and over I let go of that. I push it away from me. It's like pushing something away across the top of the water. Just push it away. Watch it fly, fly away. You don't need that cycle anymore. Let that go. You're going into a place of ease. You're going into a place of flow. You're going into a place where making things and doing things feels good. That feels great. You say, I like this. This is in balance. This feels wonderful. Look what I'm making. Look, look, look, look. You want to dance around and point like you've just created the best sandcastle on the beach. Look everybody, look what I've just done. It feels so good. I love doing this. It feels so wonderful doing this. And you're saying this and you're feeling this in your flow, letting it all out of you, communicating to the universe, communicating to your higher self. This is how I feel in everything I make do or create or participate in everything. Stay in that feeling now. Remember it, capture it. Take a snapshot because now you're returning from flow and you're opening your eyes and here you are there. That was five minutes of creating a very clear picture in your flow of who you are and what you want. Alright, I will see you all again, same time, same place next week and we'll do another episode of Flow Dreaming. Until then, my love to you all. Well, look at that.

Show's over. But before you go, did you know that. My mom has a podcast, too. Her show airs live right after mine. It comes up next. We tape our live shows back to back. Her show is called the Dear Venus show, so stay listening and you can call in or look it up live on itunes if you're listening via podcast.

Her show's really good.

It's really funny, and she reads people's minds and futures and talks to dead people for real. It's called the Dear Venus show on itunes.