#542 Afraid to Show Yourself? Fear vs. Authenticity

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. It is the feeling that you bring forward. It is your emotional connection that really sets the tone for what is going to be happening to you and for you. You know, that feeling, when you touch it, it just spreads through you. I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome. Hi everyone, it's Summer. We're here for another episode of Flow Dreaming. And today we're talking about what you're hiding. Hmm. No, I know. Are you gonna keep listening? Why are you hiding? And I don't mean hiding bad things, I mean hiding yourself. Why are you hiding yourself? Why are you hiding who you are? Why are you hiding your interests? Why are you hiding how much money you have or how much money you don't have? Why are you hiding your orientation? Why are you hiding anything about you? What's making you do that? What don't you trust? Who don't you trust? What combination of things don't you trust that's making you do this? So this idea, this topic, it's been brewing in me for so long because over and over, it's like inevitable I'll be talking to somebody and they'll say something. In case you don't know, I run this program called me School, right? It's this year long program where we go rich and deep and I teach you a lot of kind of, I don't know, mysterious things, things that aren't really revealed out in the world. And oftentimes someone will say to me during the course of the class, I haven't told my husband I'm doing this. And I laugh. And she says, no, no, it's serious, it's serious. You can't let my husband know. He doesn't know I'm paying for this. And suddenly all of this, the stuff starts rifling through my head like, oh, well, she must have separate credit cards or she must keep this separate life, or gosh, what kind of relationship is this that, you know, she can't share this with the person that she's sharing her life with? You know, in my head, I'm boo, boo, boo, boo boo. I'm Going right down the rabbit hole. Like, oh, my God, this is fascinating. What does this mean? What does this mean? It means there's something about me is what she's thinking. There's something about me that will not be accepted by the people I care about. Period. That's what it means. And sometimes. Here's the catch. Sometimes it's due to your own inner, like, insecurity. It's my fear that I won't be accepted. And other times it's due to lack of trust that the partner or the friend or the family member won't accept you. So sometimes it's about you and sometimes it's about them. And then it becomes a curious question of, well, who's this actually about? Or maybe it's a combination, because in some instances. Yes, you know, that you can't tell certain people certain things. They will not tolerate it. They will not handle it. It will crash up against their worldview. They will shut it down. They will shut down that energy of you. And then there are the other times, the other times being maybe that person would accept it. Maybe you're coddling them, maybe you're babying them. Maybe you're preventing them from taking their next step because you're not sharing out of this kind of prophylactic preventative feeling that they won't accept it. They're gonna, like, yell at me. They're gonna, na, na, na. You're protecting yourself, but you're really protecting them from growing, from getting it. If they love you, if they care about you, they actually should be forced to grow to match you, technically speaking. But you're preventing that because you're trying to keep everything okay. You're not sure that they're going to make the leap. You're not sure they're going to make the leap. Maybe they won't accept you, maybe they won't uphold you and cherish you. So you don't give them that chance. And you say, okay, you stay where you are and that's good enough for now. I'll wait a little longer because I love you enough that I'm not going to push you. I'm not gonna let you go into your growth because it might mean you'd have to let go of me. You see, it gets gray zones. Why are you hiding? Well, this is it right here. Diving right in. First five minutes of the episode. That's what we do in flow dreaming. You know, in flow dreaming, we look at your mind, we look at your motivation, we look at your heart, we look at your energy. We look at how you interact with people and life. We look at what you put out, what you're giving out every day. And that really is who you are. You know, to me, that's the heart of personal development. It's who you are every day that you're giving out to other people every. Every day. For instance, I'm saying to my family, hold this about me. You can hold this about me. You know, today my daughter said, when are we doing back to school shopping? I said, I don't know, honey. There's so much going on. And she was disappointed. You know, sad faced, sad teenage face. When are we going shopping for clothes? And I had to give back to her, hey, hold this about me, right? This is who I am. This is the focus. This is my priority. I'm your mom. Hold that. It's not about your thing. It's about my thing right now. Because my thing, I'm hoping, fingers crossed, is our thing, our family thing. That's what I'm looking for. Or I could have hidden from her everything I'm doing and said, oh, anytime, yeah, sure, we'll get it done. We'll get it done. And then not done it and not really ever clued her into what's going on. But I don't want that kind of hiding. I've hidden a lot in my life. I had to. You know what? I still hide. That's the big sigh you just heard. I do. I still hide. And every now and then, you'll hear things kind of drop out of me, pop out of me. I don't want to use all the terrible experiences I've been through as, you know, a kind of, I don't know, poor me. Why don't you, like, you know, feel attached to me because I shared that with you. I don't want to use it like that. The only time I reveal the real deep stuff that's occurred for me, you guys know most of it. If you've listened to 12 years of the show, you know most of it. The only time I reveal it is when I feel like I learned something from it. I got something from it. I found the gold in that crap, right? That's when I reveal. That's when I give an offer. Because otherwise, I'm not sure why. I'm just revealing. Just like, hey, we're simpatico or we're on the same level. That's not good enough. That said, you know, there are still certain areas that I put boundaries on, you know, that I do hide. So looking at hiding from all of these different facets. There's hiding because you're afraid the person or the people won't accept you. Right? There's hiding because you're protecting yourself and not letting other people grow around you. There's hiding because there are things still inside of you that aren't really relevant to share. Right? You don't want to be an over giver or an, excuse me, an over sharer all the time. You know, we've all met people and in the first five minutes, everything in their entire life is right there. And you're like, oh, wait a second. I didn't want to hold that much from you. I just was getting to know you. So. There are so many different reasons for holding back. I just want you to, you know, ask yourself, are you aware of yours? Do you know your reasons for holding back? Are they good reasons? Are they reasons that resonate with your truth and your heart? I'm going to say that again. Are they reasons that resonate with your truth and your heart? Because if that's the case, you're holding back with integrity. If that's not the case, you're holding back from fear. That is the delineator, the line right there where you can figure it out. Holding back from fear is really hard. It's tough. It's hard to hold, hard to handle. And in flow dreaming, we're always talking about how do we make our life easy? Easier, right? How do we make things easier to hold? How do we grow our capacity? How do we, you know, let our arms embrace things and make them feel light? I mean, think about your heroes. They embrace the heaviest stuff, big stuff, heavy stuff. Maybe your heroes are all economic heroes and they're the Oprahs and the, you know, the Elon Musks of the world. Maybe your heroes are moral heroes, you know, and they're the Rosa Parks and do you know the. I don't know. Who, who else am I thinking of? Who. Who would be a moral leader that I would raise up there? The Gandhi, perhaps, of the world, the Martin Luther Kings of the world, the Jesuses of the world, Right? These are our moral leaders. They held a lot. And yet it felt light. It felt light. And instead of figuring out like, oh, that's them and this is me and I'm not them. And they're so much bigger and greater than me. I'm trying to encourage you be them. You know, don't settle with being you. Don't settle in that small spot. Why don't you be them? Nobody else gave Them permission to be them. They just were themselves. Well, what if you give yourself permission to be yourself? Then you can share. Then you can shine. Then you can hold all of those heavy things. So again, why are you hiding? I bet there's a lot of stuff you're carrying right now that you're actually hiding. This kind of moral strength in you, this strength of keeping it all together, keeping everything going, keeping the money flowing, keeping the family together, keeping your health problems secret, keeping your love and desires to yourself. Why are you. Why are you carrying these big things secretly? Why aren't you sharing them? Why aren't you giving people a gift of saying, hey, try this. You like me now. You'll like me more when you learn. X, Y, Z. Like, think about it. Why are you hiding? So you know, in this particular episode, I'm not giving you a prescription. Like, do this thing with your hiding. I wanted to bring up the. The subject of it because hiding is an energy, right? It's a folding in. It's what my, my flowers in my garden do. At night. I have a night blooming jasmine and it was so funny during the solar eclipse. It got so confused. It's this big bush that grows up the side by my bedroom window and it blooms at night. It's the. The most incredibly intense sweet smell. It just goes on all night long. It's crazy. Gives me these dreams that are magnificent. And it got confused. You know, it bloomed during the daytime because the sun was dark. But generally it hides during the daytime. That was my point with this. It hides itself and it blooms at night. When are you blooming and why are you blooming? And why are you not blooming? Why are you not blooming all the time? It's a very, very good question. The times I feel. And again, this is not a prescription, not a, you know, do this, do this. This is my observation of working with energy. Because the times that I'm not blooming are the times that I recognize I realize I'm holding something inside myself. And I'm only holding it inside myself. If I'm doing it from a place of power, holding it in me. Because right now it's really super powerful in me and I'm not ready to give it to other people. I'm going to grow its power in me. So this is why you sometimes hear like, authors will say things like, I can't share my book with you yet because it's still incubating. They're not just being weird about it. Maybe they're being a little Weird. But generally they're not being weird. Generally, it's because. Yeah, they're growing their power around it. It's not ready for someone else to hold it yet. You can hold my newborn. You can't hold it when it's in my uterus. That's kind of the. I know. Sometimes I just go there. But that's the idea, right? So when you're holding something and you're. Oh, you know what? Here's the definition. Shielding versus hiding. Right? When you're shielding something, you're creating a safe spot for it inside of you. So think right now about the things you're hiding. Maybe you're hiding yourself. Maybe you're hiding your genius, your ability, your talent, your consulting, your ability, your. Whatever it is you're holding that. Are you shielding it or are you hiding it? It's a really, really good question. Shielding it. Shielding it means it's a baby. It's growing in me. I want it to develop. Hiding is. It's grown. I'm not sure if it's good enough. I'm not sure if the world will want it. I'm not sure if the world will want me. I don't know how it will be received. People I love may hate me. People I love may divorce me. People I love may call me stupid. People I love may feel betrayed by this. People I love may. Or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Listen to last week's episode on being good enough, by the way. But that's the distinction. That's the emotional, the energy distinction between the two. Now imagine this thing that you're holding, shielding or hiding, someday it might be released in the world. Maybe you're actually passionate about releasing it in the world. I want to give this to the world. Maybe you're just passionate about releasing it to one person. I wish I could tell my husband that I'm investing in myself. I'm really, really freaking important. I finally figured that out. And as I make myself grow and bloom and blossom, you're gonna get to grow, and the kids are gonna get to grow, and our life is gonna go bonkers with beauty and richness and safety and creativity and freedom and all those things that we're after. I've found the key. Let me show you. And I know you're gonna be critical at first, but you love me, right? So you're gonna listen. Maybe that's where you're going. I don't know. What are you hiding? What are you shielding? When will it be ready? Does it need to be Ready right now. Here. I'm gonna throw another, like, wrench in the thinking. Does it need to be ready right now, or does it ever need to be ready? Remember, not everything in your life needs to be revealed. I know. That's a crazy thought, right? Sometimes. We were brought up to believe every single thing we feel needs to be revealed and shared. Untrue. Untrue. Some things are your little diamonds. And you hold them in your hands and they become your precious things. And you keep them in your life, your whole life. They were never meant for other people. Nobody else would enjoy them the way you would. No one else would love them the way you would. They're your things, and you keep them inside. And maybe it's a talent. Maybe it's a secret. Maybe it's, I don't know, something you did on the sly that you didn't want anybody else in your life to know about. It's your thing. Where did you get the presumption that you have to share everything with other people? You don't. You can keep some to yourself. However, again, there are many things. This is, I guess, where I'm really going with this. This is where you recognize these many things that are about me. I want to share, but can't. I want to share, but can't. That's really what I'm kind of excavating in today's episode. You want to share but can't. Why? Hiding or shielding? Which is it? Are you ready? Do you want to share? Are you shielding that other person for fear that they're not ready because you know they're not? Or are you babying them and hiding it because of your own personal fears? All right, think on this. It's important in the context of flow dreaming, right? Flow dreaming. And what we talk about in this show is how you tick. Like, what happens? Who are you? What are the emotions that are running and rippling through you all the time? Like, what is that? Because those things are what are creating your life right now. And the things even that you're keeping bottled up in you, they're creating your life right now. Because you might say they're all hidden away, but they're taking up space inside of you. If they're taking up space inside of you, then that is part of you. And what you are is what is going forward into your future. Every second, every mom future, is encountering even that hidden thing, those hidden things from you. You follow what I'm saying here? This is why it's intensely relevant. If you are on the Track for personal growth, personal power, fearlessness, authenticity and freedom. You got to dig this stuff up. You want to dig this stuff up. It's your friend when you dig it up. You love it when you dig it up. And you'll discover that you're gonna be cultivating an entirely different kind of relationship with people. And I'm not saying getting rid of people. I know that's always our fear. I don't wanna lose anyone. But you will cultivate a different relationship with them. The relationship will be, this is who I am. This is what I think. Yeah. Hey, I listen to flow dreaming. Hey, I'm pretty Woo woo. Hey, I'm thinking about quitting my regular old nine to five and something crazy. Hey, I'm not getting enough out of this relationship. Hey, I've been battling this health thing that I haven't been telling you about. Hey, you know what? All of that stuff, this is you. You're putting it forward in the energy no matter what because you can't help it because it's who you are. You might be duct taping it, mask taping it, trying to cover it up so people don't see it. Generally people do, but we have this sort of everyone agrees with each other. We'll all look down and pretend we don't. If you look down, I'll look down. Right. We won't talk about my cancer if I don't talk about your divorce. Okay, good. But it's there. Authenticity. Freedom. Power. Flow. Co creation. Do you know what it thrives on? It thrives on you being you. It doesn't thrive on you covering up you. And that's it. That's your takeaway. Think on that. And we'll be right back after this quick break and we'll do a little bit of flow dreaming to get you into you, authentic you. Be right back. It's summer and while we're on break, have you checked out MI school? In MI School, we train, travel together over a year through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made, and how powerful you actually are. We play with intuition and flow dreaming and you get to see exactly how you're continually co creating your future. Aren't you curious what you're doing? I ask you to bring two big goals to the table and you reach them using tools you've probably never been exposed to before. If you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. Set up a call and either I or one of my team will help you see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to join MI school, well, then I look forward to spending this year with you. Live as we work together to create miracles. Oh, beautiful. Deep breath. Woo hoo. You guys ready to flow Dream? Okay, so Flow Dreaming is not meditation. It's not affirmations, it's not hypnosis. I say this every single episode because I want you to know it's something different. It's its own thing. It's its own beautiful multicolored striped zebra unicorn, Pegasus. That's Flow Dreaming. Oh my God. That's my favorite explanation of it ever. I think that I've ever, ever, ever given. So what we do is we go into our emotional self. And if you're not clear what this means, Flow Dreaming talks extensively about your emotions. How you feel is like a radiant beacon the world. When I was just talking about what you're hiding, basically I'm talking about the feelings that you're hiding. The feelings that you're gripping and holding back and shoving inside of you and telling other people, don't look at this, don't see this. And everyone avoids your eyes and says, okay, we'll pretend we don't. Right? This kind of group, you know, humanity dialogue we've got going, okay, we'll pretend. I don't see that. I don't see your insecurity. I don't see your negativity. I don't see your lying. I don't see your self shy shame. I don't see. Right. Oh gosh, right. Flow dreaming is about getting past all of that and letting go and getting into your energy, being who you are, feeling your way into that person. Not waiting for it to happen to you, but feeling your way into it. Now I feel therefore I am. That's my new take on niche, right? I feel therefore I am. And what I feel about me is this. I'm authentic and I'm true. Close your eyes and for a few moments, I want you to daydream, drift and let go. Just let go. Release, relax. As if you were a feather in the wind. And the wind is light and gentle and buoyant. Carries you a bubble, perhaps. Child's bubble blown from a bubble stick. And there you go, just way up in the air. And you're one of those bubbles where you think, oh, it's gonna make it. Look how far it's gonna go. And you are going far, little bubble bouncing along in the current. Because there is a current. It's picked you up, it has you, it's holding you. You're stronger than a little sheen of soap. You're very strong. You as this bubble. You are magnificent, in fact. You're unbreakable. Can you be unbreakable? What does that feel like, an unbreakable bubble? What does that feel like? Nothing can break you. No one can break you. Whether they love you or don't, or accept you or don't. Nobody can break you. You're unbreakable. And you're in flow. And you're being carried aloft. You're being carried into your future. You're being carried into a gorgeous light, a field of potential. You. You're being carried into this. This field that you're being carried into. You. It's the real you. Real you. Authentic you. The you of who you are. You. You. You. Nothing is hidden in the you. You are all there in front of you. Every part of you. Every piece of you. Pieces you didn't even want to see. They're there. They're you. Do they want to be shamed? Do they want to be hidden? Do they want to be beaten in your thoughts? No. They want to be accepted by you, loved by you, brought into you, integrated into you. You accept you. And if you're choosing, choosing to hide these pieces from other people, you're choosing because you're wise, smart. I'm growing this. I'm shielding this. This is me. You're not hiding them because you're afraid. Because you're babying someone else's ability to grow. You're not doing that. You're shielding that part of you saying, when you're ready, I will let you out. When you grow up big and strong, I'm gonna let you out. That's why you're holding it back. You know the difference? It's pretty clear. You know the difference. That feeling inside feels good. Feels right. You're getting clearer by the minute. You're feeling it by the minute. You're feeling freer by the minute. Minute. You're feeling more authentic by the second. There you are. You are you, and you are you. And everybody's gonna see that You. They're gonna see more of you than they've ever seen before. And you're going to say, I bet you liked it, huh? And you know what they do? Can you feel it? They do more than you even expected. So you carry that smile on your face. You carry that love in your heart. You carry it even now, finding yourself, coming back from flow. And you open your eyes, come back, open up. Returning. I know it felt Good. You can go back into Flow and any time, learn the technique, learn what we do, learn how to feel your way into whoever you want to be. And you will never have to ask permission from anyone else ever again to get there. You'll never have to wait for anyone else ever again to make you feel a certain way that you want to feel. You will just be able to feel it. That is the heart of Flow Dream. All right, so with that, I'm wrapping up today's program, reminding you, of course, book a time with me. Me School is enrolling and I am talking with you personally. Hopefully you're on my email list and you're getting my newsletters and my blogs and you're getting my notices about MI school. That's the best way to sign up and talk with me personally. I'm excited. Looking forward to talking with you. I've been talking with tons of people already. Class is filling up. It's going to be the most outrageous and beautiful class ever. So come be with me. Okay. That said, love you guys. And I'll see you all next week for another episode of Flow Dreaming. That's a wrap for today, but if you want to keep things going, then download my free Flow Dreaming apps. That's right, there's two of them. The first app allows you to listen to this podcast anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search and favorite episodes. The other app hooks you up with my manifesting Store, which includes an oracle to help you see what direction you most are in need of right now and advice. You can also sample all kinds of Flow dreams and put together a library of your own. So to find these apps, just search Flow Dreaming in itunes or on your Google App Store.