#545: Where Are You Going/Growing?

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome, welcome darlings. This is Summer here. Are you guys ready? Another episode of Flow Dreaming. Here it is. Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Sounds sometimes like something your mom would ask you. Well, I'm a mom, so maybe that's why I'm asking. But I chose the topic this week because it's a question I hear a lot. Where am I going? Where should I be going? You know, it's funny. We spend the first 20 years of our lives fiercely defending our choices of where we're going and when we get to go there. When we're finally out from under the thumb and we can finally decide. And then somewhere along the line we start to ask, can you please just tell me where I should go? Please? Where am I going? What should I do? What should I become? What will I be best at? So today we're going to explore what that feeling is, right? What goes on inside of us, goes on inside of us. When we're asking Flow. When we're asking our futures, we're asking ourselves. And we're waiting. We're hanging on this answer. And if the answer doesn't come, oh God, don't we just go bonkers when the answer doesn't come? Why is it that life has such an ability to drive us back bonkers by not showing up on time, giving us what we need on time, doing all those things we are needing from it when we need them? Mm, big topic. Fun, juicy thinking. Get ready. Buckle up. Hold onto your chair. Here we go. So if this is your first time to Flow Dreaming, welcome to the program. Every week we pick a topic, we explore it. It's kind of like part dinner party, part philosophy, part co creational, you know, Woo. Woo. Manifest part a lot of things. So welcome to the journey. We get to figure out who you are, what makes you tick, what you're capable of, where you're holding back and what you want next. So I use this technique called Flow Dreaming. You'll hear me talk about it a lot. Of course, it's the name of the show so of course you're going to hear about it. And it's a Technique. It's a way of communicating with your life, with your future, with yourself. It's a way of talking with the world. Where you go from being a passive bystander just waiting to see what will happen next, into someone who is instead actively programming. Right. I mean, if you were a computer coder and you were writing code every day, you would kind of expect, you know, things would run according to what you wrote. Well, that's in effect what you are. You're a coder of life, you're a coder of your future. You're a coder of yourself. The thing is, you're coding with other people. Coding with other people and their scripts and their expectations and their realities. So rather than trying to control everyone and control everything and get them to do your code, we instead, in flow dreaming, learn to become, how could I say, expert co coders. We learn to play well with others, meaning play well with the universe, play well with our higher self, play well with trust and being seen and our own personal power and all of these concepts and ideas that kind of fascinate us, that make us, that drew us into first personal growth in the first place. So today, let's look at this idea of where are you going? And, you know, almost all of my show ideas are inspired by something in my own life. Sometimes I'll put out there on my website, my Facebook, if you're not a friend, just go find me and follow me there on Facebook. I'll put out a request, something like, tell me what you need to hear. What fascinates you? But I've done 400 plus of these episodes at this point, and I'm looking for things that I'm asking questions that I've reached, you know, at the end of, you know, 400 hours of musing. So sometimes I'll reach back and talk about something that I know you guys are dying to hear about, even though I know it's in my archives from three or four or seven years ago, 12 years ago even. But I'll revisit it because my own thinking, I'm hoping, has also advanced and matured and grown on the topic. Maybe there's nuances, things I haven't seen before that we can suss out together, but today, where are you going? I'm asking the question of myself, where am I going? I tell you what, it's not a fun state to be in, even for someone who considers herself pretty good with change. I still look at myself and think, no, you're not. No, no, no. You teach change. You Teach flow. You show other people how to move through it. But when you yourself have to change and flow, oh, boy. Yeah, the waters get rocky again. Or choppy. Mixing metaphors. I'm great at that, too. The reason I say this is because you know that feeling you get sometimes, like, I know where I've been and I know what I desire inside, but I'm not sure how it's shaping up, what it's going to look like. And I'm really anxious to know. I have angst around knowing because I want to feel safe. I want to feel secure. I want to know that what I think is going to happen, what I'm hoping is going to happen really will happen. I want to see evidence in my hot little hands. I want to know I'm safe. Yet when we are in the midst of change, when we're in the midst of flow, think about, you know, the waves on the water. If you're right, if you're a little boat and you're on the top of one of those waves, you're way high up there in the tippy swell. You don't know exactly where you're coming down. You know you will, and then you know you'll go back up again. But there's that moment, there's that period of anxiety, of uncertainty, of not knowing. It's the point in your life when you have to give yourself completely to trust. And I don't mean ignorant trust, like, I'm gonna go quit my job tomorrow and everything's gonna be fine kind of trust. I mean real deep trust. As in, hey, Flo. Hey, life. I am totally showing up for you. I am doing everything I know how to do. I am being responsible. I'm staying committed. I'm following through. I'm getting clear on my emotional endpoints. I know how I need to feel. I'm ready. I am all in. You've got me, right? This is what I say to life when I'm in a period like this, you've got me. Life. I am all in. Just give me that comfort. Give me a little taste of it. And if you can't give it to me, because, damn it, it's not mine to learn right now, fine, then I will weather this through. Because I have trust. I have trust. I have trust in you. I have trust in tomorrow. I have trust in other people. Above all, I have trust in myself. Right? The bigger the gamble, the bigger the win, as they say. You guys wonder why people build these enormous companies. All of you aspiring coaches, people out there who Want to create something big. You know what they do? They take really big gambles. I'm telling you, they do. I know them. I have been one of them. I am one of them. We take big gambles all the time. We often don't have a lot to go on. We haven't done market research for five years. We're not like some giant corporation with billions of dollars in our pockets to try things on with consumers. No, not at all. That's what happens when you get really big and you're trying to be really, really safe. Because the bigger you get, the more money you have, the pockets in corporate land, the safer you can be. But when you're starting out, when you are growing, when you're that little punk startup, whether as a company or just in your own self, you learn to take risks. Big risks, big gambles. Mostly you take them in yourself because frankly, you don't have a lot else to gamble with. You know, most of us don't have ten thousand, hundred thousand dollars to lay down on this or that. The only thing we have to gamble with is our self. The biggest, most important thing. And then some of us have our families to gamble with too. Yeah, we file that away in our minds. We're like, can't do that. Too big of a gamble for my family. But what happens if I don't? What happens if I don't go there? Try that. Shift gears now. So there's this constant weighing and balancing going on inside us. What's the safest? What's gonna have the biggest payoff? And then, of course, that last yet most important point. What's going to make me happy? What's worth living for? Why am I living right now? Why am I alive? That is where I'm going. And all the things that I create around me that I've accepted responsibilities for, I love them because they are part of where I'm going. They're not. Despite where I'm going, They're because they're part of where I'm going. What do I need to support them? And that and this. And over there. And me too. What is that magic formula? So in flow dreaming you cannot. The philosophy is what we teach. What I teach extensively in MI School, by the way, which is enrolling fifth year of MI School. Come get in. Now. If you're listening to this on replay or in the future, it may not be enrolling, but I don't care. Call me anyway. Wave find out. It's never too soon. But what we teach is you are responsible for Yourself, above all, who you are, how you think, what you expect, the kind of code you're constantly generating into your future and into yourself. So when you go into that little panicky place in your heart, what's next? What's happening? I can feel things are shifting. I just don't know where they're going to land. I feel like I'm a. A dart in the dartboard of life, and I'm going to hit the target. I just don't know if it's a bullseye or if I'm going to hit the wall behind it. You know, that second inside of you, you have to gamble on that in yourself. You have to gamble that no matter where you hit the bullseye or the wall behind the entire target, you've got another dart in your hand, and then you have another dart after that. And I don't care if you're thinking, oh, but I only have resources for one dart or two darts. No, actually, you have resources for an entire life. What is the lack thinking that says, no, I've got. This is it. This is all I've got. Boom. It's finite. This is it. Last shot. How old are you? How old? Just say it in your mind. How old are you? Okay, I'm 46. If I believed truly that I have already reached my peak potential, everything is downhill from here. Nothing will ever be as good as it was before or. I never reached that great place in the first place, but there's nothing more to aspire to. I have used all my darts, all of my shots, and my potential are up. I don't know where I'm going. It's just. Who knows? It's just. I just have to get through. Can you feel, like, what an emotional weight that is? Can you feel what I'm telling the univers saying, I'm done. I'm 46. I'm halfway through my life. I'm over. I'm done. I don't care if you're 66 or 76. You know, what is that old saying, you're not over until the, I don't know, lady sings or something like that. It's not. It ain't over till the ball game, something like that. So whatever age that you've pinned yourself on and said, I'm done. I've used my chances. I can't now. I've got too much going on now. I've this, I've. I've that. I've this. Just step back from them for a second and see them for the veil. Of illusion that they are. Those are explanations. You're making yourself feel better. You're. I say, licking your wounds. That's not gonna navigate you through this change. That's just gonna make you feel better. Explain it. Rationalize it away. In flow dreaming, we take all of our power back to ourself. We realize we are constantly encoding our future with who and what we are. So who and what I am right now? Yeah, I started the show with this kind of poor me, sad, sad feeling because I know we all dump into that. I wanted you to be aware of it if you're in it. I hear you. I know. I know it very well. But the other side of that is I'm going to land somewhere. Something will occur. All of my resources are inside me. My darts on the dartboard of life. Maybe I should call the show that the dartboard of life. My darts aren't something that are being given to me from outside me. It's not like you get four at birth and are told, use them wisely. Don't waste these. No, you self generate these darts. You self generate your opportunities. You self generate yourself. Everything you've ever taught yourself, every experience you've ever had, every relationship you've ever nurtured, every experience you've had that has grown, you helped your perception, helped you communicate better, helped you in your skill set, helped you with your talent. All of that is going into this huge piggy bank of self. And you withdraw from that piggy bank over and over and over. As long as you are living, no one can take that away from you. No one else fills that piggy bank. It's all you. You fill it and you withdraw from it. So if you're in this wobbly, I don't know where I'm going place inside yourself. Instead of fearing it, instead of wondering where you're gonna land if everything is gonna be okay, what will it look like? Oh my God. Things are changing. All the past things I held, all breaking up and I don't have them anymore. And whatever it may be, the other feeling, the one you can always reach because you made it inside you already. At least you've been doing if you've been doing your inner work. That feeling inside you says, I can make my life and remake my life, and then I'll remake it again. My skills and talents are not going anywhere. The hours in my day are not going anywhere. Tomorrow I'm going to be gifted with 24 hours. And then I'll get another 24 hours after that, another 24 hours after that. Think about this. The universe is a paycheck that pays you consistently on time every 24 hours until one day when it doesn't, which is hopefully way far away. And thankfully, we don't know when that point will be, because if we did, we would freak out about it forever. I think it's very important that we don't know that date so we don't get all tied up in it. Very clever. Whoever thought that up, that not knowing when you're gonna end your life here on Earth thing? Because you're not supposed to be thinking about that. You're supposed to be thinking about the gift, the payday that you're getting tomorrow, that 24 hours. What did you grow in you that you can invest in that payday tomorrow? This is why, for me, I am a ongoing devot, permanent fan of personal growth. Everything comes out of you. Yeah, you can go to school, you can invest in stocks, you can invest in property, you can education, you can invest in your kids, you can invest in all kinds of things. But you know where it all comes from. Comes from you. Yeah, you're the one doing the investing. The bigger you grow, the bigger all the rest of it grows. That's something that I tell my students constantly. How big do you want to grow? Oh, okay. Because usually people come in and they say, I've got this big idea for my life. And I go, great. How big do you want to grow? Well, I want to grow my idea. I want to do this and start that and be this and change careers and, you know, whatever it is. I go, great. How big do you want to grow? Well, wait a minute. How's that going to help me? I'm like, it all comes from you. As big as you grow is as big as your life grows. Right. It's like I say it over and over. I'm getting tired of hearing myself say this, but it's the truth. And when you're in transition, instead of seeing it like, oh, my God, everything is wobbly. I don't know where I'm going. I feel lonely. I feel lost. I feel without community. Was it a dumb thing? I'm having regrets. I shouldn't have quit. I shouldn't have left the marriage. I should. I don't know, I did. Instead of going into all of that, let's go into the feeling instead of, I made change happen. Even if I didn't know I consciously made change happen, I still made change happen. Change didn't happen to me. I wasn't the one left out change didn't happen to me, make me its little victim. No, I made change happen. I had to co create that change. A part of me had to be open, wanting, desirous of that change. Because I'm playing a bigger game. I recognize that bigger game. So if I made that change happen and I trust myself, I can probably trust where I'm going to land. It's probably a good thing. Probably means I'm up, leveling, I'm shifting. Shifting gears even in a car, right? It's never comfortable. You ever ground your gears in a car? Sometimes we grind our gears in life because we're moving up. Yeah. And in a car it's true. You can move down, you can move down a gear. Sometimes we do that. When we enter those periods when we go inside of ourself, we go in for some reflection. We go in to find out what we are, what we've learned, what's our takeaway from the last five or 10 years, from those last few experiences that we got through. But you don't stay in that low gear. You escalate back up again. You will, you do. And perhaps even right now, you are so whatever that feeling is inside of you, if you have that feeling, I'm in the midst of change and I don't know what it is and it's making me extremely nervous, upset, anxious and fearful. Do the flow dreamer way, shift it, reframe. Change is good. You're exactly where you need to be. You're feeling this because you co created it. You're responsible for this. It didn't happen to you, you happened to it. You are happening to your life. So this change, I don't know if it's going to take a month, a year, we don't know. Let it be. Let it nurture itself. Let it grow itself. Let it be in the chrysalis like a butterfly. Let it push itself up from the ground like a seed sprouting. Let it happen. Don't try and yank it. Can you imagine if you dug your fingers under the soil and pulled out that little seed before it was ready? It would just wither and die because of your anxiety, because of your impatience. Instead you look at that seed, you look at the change and you say, it's happening. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. How can I be present for the happening? How can I be mindful of the happening? How can I be in a state of grace? How can I be light about this change? How can I be light? And that's where I'm gonna leave this right now, I want you to think about you in whatever state you're in. If you're in a state of change, own it. You made it. You know what you're doing. You're playing a bigger game. Even bigger than you know. Can you trust it? Can you trust that you're gonna land on your feet? Can you trust that you haven't reached the top or the top was behind you? That you have more to go? So much more. Bigger and more beautiful mountains to climb with joy and ease. Think on that. Then maybe in our next episode, I'll teach you how to make the whole journey feel light. So stay with me. We're gonna go to a quick break. When we come back, I'm gonna take you into a flow dream to get you more comfortable with this state of change. Get you comfortable being in the in between. Let you lose the anxiety around it. Let you feel okay with however long it takes. Where are you going? You're finding out. It's revealing itself to you every minute. It's not a question you ask just once in your life. It's a question that you ask daily. And sometimes the answer is incredibly clear. And sometimes the answer is as obscure as smoke signals in the far distance. Doesn't mean you're not going somewhere. You're still on your path. Stay with me and we'll continue right after this. It's summer, and while we're on break. Have you checked out MI School? In MI School, we travel together over a year through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made, and how powerful you actually are. We play with intuition and flow dreaming. And you get to see exactly how you're continually co creating your future. Aren't you curious what you're doing? I ask you to bring two big goals to the table. And you reach them using tools you've probably never been exposed to before. If you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. Set up a call and either I or one of my team will help you see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to join me school, well, then I look forward to spending this year with you. Live as we work together to create miracles. All right. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming, guys. Ready to get into some flow with me? So getting into flow is a specific technique. If you don't know how to do it, go to my website. There's a free kit. I teach you how to do this. It's not meditation or hypnosis. Or affirmations or anything like that. So if you don't know what you're doing, just close your eyes and just come along for the ride. Just enjoy yourself. If you do know what you're doing, then let's go. Let's get into it. We won't be there very long. Five minutes or so. If you're looking for more beautifully produced flow dreams around different topics, I have tons of them, like 150 of them around. Anything from growing your wealth and income to bringing in the love of your life, releasing, healing, creating inner worth and love. All kinds of great topics, even moving. It's all there. So close your eyes with me and let's drop into, flow together. Nice deep breath in, all the way down to your lungs and release and exhale. Relax your body, relax your body. No tension. You're feeling good. Another deep breath in and relaxing and releasing the breath. You're letting yourself float, float. Feeling of buoyancy, of lift. Like you're a little bubble, a soap bubble on the surface of the bathtub. But you won't break, not ever, because you are forever. You float, you carry. There's a river of goodness, a river of rightness, a river of beauty, a river of intelligence, a river of grace, river of compassion, a river of love. And this is where you find yourself. Why? Not all of these feelings exist. They've been felt billions, almost infinite number of times by humanity has felt love and grace and ease and flow. These exist as concepts and they exist as realities, as real things. And you have found where all of these real feelings come together in one place. Place you call flow, where you stay always in that state of ease and light and goodness and rightness. If everything in your life were going right, right now, perfectly right, this is how you'd feel. Your heart is leaping with joy. You feel like dancing. You understand what that word ecstasy really means? It means just jumping out of your skin with delight. Everything is good. I have no worry. I have no fear. Everything is right. I am in flow. I am in divine alignment. I am going where I need to go, doing what I need to do. Everything is exactly as it should be. And I'm creating this, creating it right now as I experience it. If I'm experiencing it, it is. It's existing. And this change, this wobble, this lack of direction, this where am I going? This chatter, mental chatter, emotional ch. That's all it is. It's momentary fear. It's just a little bump in the road, but I'm over it. Like when you're sledding and you go over a little bump in the snow and it's actually kind of fun. You're like, yeah, I know that spot on the slope where you kind of catch a little air. It's a little scary. It's a bump. That's what I've been feeling. That bump, that not knowing where I'm going to land, that moment of fear, of doubt. Am I still on the path? Yes, you're still on the path. Is there more for me? Yes, there is more for you. Is this really right for me? Don't I have to know all the details, exactly where I'm going? No, you don't. Any more than that kid sledding down that beautiful white puffy mountain of snow doesn't know exactly where they're going to land. They just know they'll get to the bottom. They'll get where they're going. It's gonna be right. It's gonna be fun. And you feel that fun. You feel the fun. You feel the joy in the change. Yes. You're in between. Yes. You may not know where you're heading. Yes, you may not know where you're going or what's next, but you do know. You created this. You chose this. And you chose it because you're playing a bigger game. Do you feel that? Bigger game? Can you kind of touch it? It's like reaching up and trying to touch something with your fingertips. That's right up there above you. You made it. You forgot you did. A bigger part of you created it. You say, thank you. Thank you for making it. Thank you for creating it. You did that for me. Thank you. Thank you. And now you say one last thing. I'm going to love change. I will learn to love change. I never want to feel powerless or weak when I'm not knowing where I'm going. I want to learn how to be in flow with it and how to be in a state of joy around it. Flo, I commit that to you. That's my request. Help me. And with that last request, you find yourself coming back, returning from your daydream, from that connected space. And you open your eyes. There you go. Giving you a second to collect your mind, your energy back together. So let me tell you before we go, if you enjoyed that one, the feel of it, right? Every time I do a flow dream, I'm calling up a certain emotion or a certain set of emotions that like to hang out together. If you liked that set, if you responded to it, you might enjoy wondrous change. And Transition. I have a couple of playlists. You can find them on my app. Yes, I have a fantastic app. I think I have a little ad here at the end of the show. It talks about them, but you can download a series of these flow dreams that have great music. I mean, they're just beautiful. And play them, play them whenever you need them, fall asleep to them, actively flow, dream to them, use them. Right? You can retrain yourself to feel any way you want to feel. So wondrous. Change and transition. That is a great one. Universal guidance and trust. Another fantastic one in the genre. I think it's called. What is it called? Spirituality or Spirit? No, Personal growth. I don't remember. It's on my website somewhere. You'll find a whole bunch of these flow dreams that are all similar to this. Little different nuances, you know, some of them focus a little bit more on self love, self worth, etc. So go on out, check them out and don't forget. I'd love to see you guys in Muschool. We are starting the year in just a few weeks and it is phenomenal. It is going to be amazing and it's a perfect place for you, by the way, if you really want to get a handle on what it means to ask the question, where are you going? You know, this could be the year you actually find out. So come talk to me and until I see you in me school or until next week with another episode of this podcast, Flow Dreaming. All right, love you guys. Take care. That's a wrap for today, but if you want to keep things going, then download my free Flow Dreaming apps. That's right, there's two of them. The first app allows you to listen to this podcast anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search and favorite episodes. The other app hooks you up with my Manifesting Store, which includes an oracle to help you see what direction you you most are in need of right now and advice. You can also sample all kinds of flow dreams and put together a library of your own. So to find these apps, just search Flow Dreaming in itunes or on your Google App Store.