#548: Changing Shape

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives.

Breathe.

I'm Summer McStravik and welcome. Welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome to Flow dreaming. I'm Summer McStravik and we are broadcasting live from my new studio. So if you hear me adjusting things, that's me just playing with my microphone. You might hear my kitty cat. Sometimes she comes over and drinks my water. Anyway, welcome to the program. Flow Dreaming is. Wow. What are we in our 12th or 13th year? All right, so anyway, as. As with our last show, today is kind of a trial show. This is why I haven't notified everybody through email yet or. Nope. I. It's just, you know, we're just working out our kinks sometimes. We're still even doing little test broadcasts. But one of the things that we put together on Flow dreaming.com on the podcast page is a player now that lets you listen to this program 24. 7 mean. I am running continuous loops of Flow Dreaming programs throughout the years. We have about 400 hours, so it's. You can pretty much listen continuously for maybe a week or two straight. Oh, wait, more than that. 24 hours in a day, right? So that's only 24 times seven. Couple of weeks and you'd finally get through all of the programs. So do check that out. Flow dreaming.com, look on the podcast page. That is where you hear the program live right now. Another exciting announcement, though. Guess what? Do you guys remember Hay House Radio? Well, I'm letting the cat out of the bag a little bit at a time, knowing full well that not everyone is listening to this particular episode because, again, I'm still doing it on the DL. Well, a house radio is a online station I started back in 2005. I know it feels like ages ago. It feels like yesterday. What am I saying? It feels. Feels like yesterday. But I know it was ages ago. And it was our first time where we got a group of people together, people who were already generally superstars in their own niche, their own world of alternative health, spirituality. Forward thinking, just thinking about this kind of reminiscing here. We brought them all together and we put them on air and we said, talk. Just be live and talk with people. Talk for an hour. Share your knowledge. Take phone calls, help people. Just show what you are just be who you are. And it was a phenomenal success. Phenomenal success. So Fast forward, it's 2017, actually, it'll be 2018. And I am blessed. I've been blessed so many times, but I'm blessed for a second time in my life. I have the opportunity to again create something like a house radio. So I'll give you a heads up on it. Right now there's only one word, Inflow Radio. Technically that's one word because it is a URL. Inflow Radio com is coming your way. Look for it in 2018. January, February, March, it'll be up and we are going to have a collection of superstars and this station will be born from love. It'll be born from a deep desire and need to. Once again, my original mandate, my mandate, connect. Show who you are, show what you can offer. Help people change their lives. That's going to be Inflow Radio. It's spanning conscious business, meaning how to grow your company or business using conscious, more oftentimes feminine methods. Meaning we connect, we create community. Yeah, we know a hell of a lot about marketing and online and all of that, but that's one big segment of it because I realize conscious community is a big part of many of our lives, especially those of us who are, you know, work from home, moms, those of us who are creating our own startups, coaching, creating our own lives. Right, creating our destinies. Something about empowerment in that. We're also looking at alternative health, how to heal, cleanse, strengthen, anything to do with our body that requires us to be conscious of it, to nurture it, to give to it. Looking at spirituality, of course we're going to have some old familiar names that maybe you've seen before, as well as some new people who will be helping us connect to others on the other side, connect into our flow, our futures. Read what may be happening for us or to us, and so much more. So that is the sneak peek and that's all I'm going to say about it for now. It's a little bird in your ear. Inflow radio.com if you are a potential host. Yes, I am screening hosts right now. Just go to the website. There is a way to get in touch with us there and let us know that you have an interest. Of course, Flow Dreaming is going to be broadcast on inflow radio.com and that's where we're going to be jumping to after it gets built. Fun times. So this is a perfect prologue, a segue into the theme of the show. Today, right? Which is change, growth, becoming the next thing. What's it like, what's scary about it, what's exciting about it? So I was teaching my MI school class about an hour before this or so and it was funny because this theme was the very first, very first theme that one of my students brought when I was talking with them. This question of what am I becoming? I'm scared. I don't know what it's going to look like, what it's going to feel like. And my first reaction is to control the heck out of it. Isn't that what a lot of us do? We spend about 20 minutes bringing her back from the future to the present got me thinking. Oftentimes when we're entering a period of change, we are so far in the future we forget where we are. And it's really interesting what the future is about, right? What is the future that we're putting together? If you go in with a sense of lack, with a sense of bracing, then the future is something that you have to moderate, control, get ready for, prepare for, make sure it's okay, make sure it's safe. In other words, you're co opting your present, you're taking all of your energy and emotion from the present to manage a future that's imaginary. So I'm going to bring this back to what I just told you about this new venture that I am embarking on. I could look at it and say, oh my God, what if it doesn't work? What if it's terrible? What if I did it one time and it was amazing and the second time I try and do it, it's terrible. Well, I better make sure that can't possibly happen. So I'm just going to project my energy, project my emotion, project everything into this future and hope to God it works out. Because right now I'm scared and not sure I have no guarantees. Can you guys feel that energy? The energy you start something with is the energy you often and most likely will continue with, right? That's an old saying. My mom told me when you start some, the way you start something is the way it goes. It's the way you finish it. Now she always said it in terms of relationships, like the guy's a jerk in the beginning. He doesn't text you for three days. He's going to be like that the whole time. You know, listen, be aware of what somebody is. However, we tend to project our fear, our insecurity into our future. We project it into change. What if it doesn't Work. Contrast this for a second with me instead of saying, what if it doesn't work? What if it does work? What if it works spectacularly? What if it's the best thing you've ever done? What if all of that fear and worry, embracing and getting ready for and all of that, you look back on and you realize that was a giant waste of my time? What if I had done something different instead of those feelings? What if this is why, when we return to flow thinking, we're recognizing that what we are now, what we feel right now, is everything. Because we're one, simultaneously experiencing our present, but we're two telling the future what it is that we expect, what we know, what we're anticipating. Everything is now, right? The old power of now. You, a conscious creator, co creating, making things. So look at something right now that you are evolving into, that you're changing into. Notice you've got securities or insecurities, rather. I wish you had more securities, but you have insecurities. You have what ifs. Maybe it won't. I don't know if it wills. All of these feelings that are surrounding you, worry. What's the natural response to that? To try to address it, right? Try and fix it. But what are you actually doing when you do that? You're using your present moment, your purest point of power, to potentially fix something that has not yet even occurred, that may never exist. It would be like if I was spending all of my time right now trying to fix rheumatoid arthritis in my knuckles, which, by the way, I do not have. But my mind is there and I'm thinking about it and I'm worrying about it and I'm taking supplements for it and I'm obsessing about it. You know, my husband, my family, they'd say, you're crazy. You don't even have this. And yet all you're doing is fixating on it and trying to make yourself safe from it. Summer, don't you realize there's a million things in life you can make yourself safe from? Why'd you pick that one? That's a question I often ask myself. Why did you pick that one? There are a million things. You know what? It's great that you don't even know what those million things are because then you could start obsessing about them. We don't know what they are. Our future is purposely obscured from us for a darn good reason, so we can grow into it. So it's a fresh, clean slate. A pure, empty, snow filled canvas yet when you are anticipating negatively into your future, when you are anticipating negatively into your change, you are in fact sculpting that into your future. You're creating that in your thinking, in your life, in your thought patterns, in your choices, physical and non physical change. You know, it's a wobbly place, It's a place where you can't hold on to the walls. It's a place where you flow, a place where you move, a place where you hope, a place where you project who and what you are. Yet nothing is giving you back confirmation yet. Maybe you have little hints and signs, but the big confirmation, the confirmation most of us are looking for, security, absolute, yes, safe. That's the confirmation most of us are looking for. That comes later, comes much later, doesn't come right away. You have to enter the change to get to that place. And here is the, here's the clicker for you. Clunker, clicker, ticker. You enter periods of change over and over and over again in your life. And if they're obscured, if they seem like a lower level change, if you can ignore them, pretend they're not happening, you probably are tending to deal with them a bit better. But believe me, change is happening. It's only when you see change, when you embrace change, when you rub your shoulders and neck and arms around change, when you get right up and close to change, that's when you say, oh my God, I hope this is good. I hope this is all right. I hope this is going where I hope and think it will go. Look, look at your life, most of your life right now, you don't have bad results from a few things here and there, perhaps, but generally you don't have bad results from change. Change ultimately usually mostly up levels you, it up levels you. In the long run you get richer, smarter, happier, you have more assets. Of course, some of us, yes, we have fallen down the other side of the mountain, gone down the other side of change. But usually, no, usually 90% of the time your life is getting better. Every now and then you have to fix something that really careened off path. But overall you're happier and you're more well. And this is what change is yielding you. And this is the natural flow of life and the universe and everything. So as you embrace change, as you learn to roll with it and duck dive it, right. Duck diving is a old surfer term, right. The waves come in and they're really big and if you can't surf it, the worst thing you can do is just try and like or Just let it hit you in the face. You actually get on your surfboard, you plant your face to the. To the board, and you roll under the wave and you roll right through it. Sometimes we do that with change, too. We go down low, deep, and we move through it. Sail on top or move through the center, underneath, it doesn't matter. Change is always going to feel wobbly. It's always going to feel weird. It's always going to be uncertain. It's your strongest indicator that you're moving into growth, that you're moving into the next phase. Think about this. When you feel secure, when you feel strong, when you feel knowing, it's often when you've already had some solidity, some feedback, some yeses, when things are dropping down and hunkering in position and growing roots. But when you're in the midst of that, getting to that, moving toward that, it means, hey, whatever it was that used to be solid and safe is behind me now because I'm growing. I know. Does it make you want to rethink the whole growth thing? Maybe you're thinking, no, I don't really want to grow anymore in life. I just want to stay here in this one single place forever. And yes, we do sometimes want that. And yes, we often do stay in those phases. Five years, seven years, 10 years. There's. But maybe, maybe, maybe you want to be in change. Maybe you want to be in growth. Maybe you recognize that after a while in that same place, I'm going to feel stagnant. I'm going to feel bored, and I'm going to feel stuck, and I'm going to feel like, is this all there is? And how many feel like that? Raise your hand. You are going to cycle between being solid and being in change, and being solid and being in change and being solid and being in change. And that is going to be your life. So you ask yourself right now, do I want to get good? Do I want to get great at both? Yeah, there's one that feels better for me than the other. But do I want to get great at both? Hell, yeah, I want to get great at both. Please, please, let me get great at both. And with that, we're gonna go to a quick break, and when we get back, we have flow dreams for you, and we have all kinds of questions to answer. Live calls coming right up. 760-456-7277. We're on break, and while I give myself a second to regroup, I'd like you to consider what having private mentoring with me would Be like you. See, I accept a small number of people each year for private coaching. The question is, what do you want to make? Who do you want to become? We can program and shape any area of yourself or your life. Imagine right now what is you would be doing if you had no fear. Imagine how your life would look if there were no patterns and blocks repeatedly tripping you up. Imagine if you were fully healed in your heart, body and mind. Imagine if you also had a map to your success and you could follow it with ease and flow. Well, I look into you and into your life and I feel where you're going and know where the road is open and where it's blocked. I help you make the very best decisions based on what's coming up for you. I'll also show you exactly what I do day to day to succeed in my personal and business life. And we can create a copycat plan for you. So if you're game, you can fill out an application on my website for private coaching. Just go to flowdreaming.com coaching and then let's talk. I mean, the time to go for it is now. So let's just get this started. Now let's get back to the show. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the U.S. number, 1-760-456-7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays. So check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time. Again, reach me at 1-760-456-7277. Now let's get back to the show. Yes, welcome back. I've made some adjustments to our output. So let's see if this sounds good to you or if it's loud enough or if it got a lot quieter. We are still playing around in studio here with the different volumes, the different levels that are coming through. And yes, that was a gardener you heard in the background. I do broadcast from my home office and of course they are not supposed to come on Tuesdays, but they did because this is a holiday weekend. And of course, of the 24 potential hours in the day that they could come and use a leaf blower in my backyard, they did so for your listening pleasure. So change, right? Change. You roll with it. You let yourself be in it. Let's get to some callers. You guys ready? I sure am. I would love to talk to Melanie. Hey, Melanie, welcome to the program.

Hi, Summer, how are you?

Hi, I'm wonderful. How are you?

I am doing one. I'm doing great. I Happen to see you post about this show on Facebook.

Great. Yay.

And I'm so excited.

I'm happy to talk to you. So what's going on in your life? What can we look at? What can I help you with? What can we flow for?

Oh, my goodness. Everything. I feel the winds of change. And I'm ready.

Okay.

And I'm open. Very open. I was. Got divorced, let's see, about three and a half years ago, and just been basically taking care of my kids and looking after them and making that the priority. And now all of a sudden, I'm sitting back. Isn't. Isn't okay anymore. It's time for me.

Okay.

So whether it's relationships, but most certainly career.

Mm.

I'm a teacher by trade, but I feel like there's something more. And I have my coaching certification. I've done all that fun stuff, and I'm trying to figure out how to make it mine and going forward.

Okay. All right.

And when you started talking about your radio show, I went, oh, my gosh. It's a sign that we're talking about new changes and something new.

Yes, new changes. Going big, playing, experimenting, letting yourself move into the next phase. So what is it that you want to be doing? I mean, do you really want to be coaching? Does that light up your heart?

That word is weird with me. I know that I am, without a doubt, a teacher, and I almost say mentor, so I guess in a way, that's a coach. But I feel like there's time to share the message and help people. Oh, what is the word I want to use? Like, open their heart. Like, I like focusing on compassion and love and perspective. And I'm a health teacher. And so when I look at all of the things that we see in our headlines and that's going on, and I see my friends struggling, I know that. I know I can help be the change.

Yes. Yes. So you can be part of it. So this is. I'm asking this question because a lot of people want to coach for reasons that are more about them wanting to grow or help, but not necessarily to stand in the fire with people over and over again.

Yes. I feel I do that every day with my.

Yeah, you already know what that's like, right? You know what that's like.

Yes, I do. And I feel like saying, okay, it's time to go bigger. You said it a few seconds ago.

All right.

I feel like I'm in the dark. I'm putting my foot down, trying to figure out where the bottom step is. I'M not afraid. Yeah, I know it's coming. Yeah, that's where I feel like it's there.

Yes. All right, so daydream with me a little bit. Play with me here.

Okay.

If you weren't teaching and you weren't coaching, what would you be doing?

I tell you the first thing in my head totally.

I want you to break some walls here.

Spreading joy, spreading love. Like, we've got to do this.

Okay.

Somehow not pushing the message, but allowing the message.

What message?

Love and compassion. Most. Oh, gosh. Starting with ourselves. I think the best way. We're so hard on ourselves, and we're so critical, and I've struggled with that. And when we learn to open our heart, it makes it so much easier for others to do it as well.

Yes. So you want to be part of a broader message to people in the world, to open up and to be gentle with yourself. So this is. If you just stop and just get into the core, the kernel of this feeling for a second. There are so many opportunities. Instead of looking at it like there's only one or two things that can get me there. What if right now, there are a thousand different career paths and. Or employers who have that same mission? 1,000. What I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to open you. It's like cracking a walnut, right? Crack, crack, crack. We're putting the pressure on. We're putting a pressure on in one direction to crack you open in another direction. So if you are feeling right now, there are a thousand different career paths and a thousand different employers who share this feeling, who share this joy with me. I have a choice. I can hitch a ride on one of them, or I can fall into one of these paths myself. And the paths I've already looked toward teaching, Right. Teaching is great. I learned how to be a great teacher. It fulfilled that in me, but it's fulfilled it. And you feel like, and now what? And what's next? That skill is fully developed in you, ready to be carried over to the next thing. You looked at coaching and you're like, yeah, I don't know. Coaching to me feels like another iteration of teaching, except, you know, you're really standing even more in the fire with people. And it's more. It's more like I'm all up in your face and in your life. I don't know if I want that exactly. I want something a little different. That's what I want you to like. It's almost like a smell. Like you smell. It's A little bit vanilla. It's a little. It's over there. We don't know what it is or where it's coming from, from yet, but it's leading us. So you're going to feel this path or feel this employer and keep yourself wide open. I am doing something that creates an enormous amount of purpose. I am creating change. I'm creating this tremendous fulfillment inside me. It is. It's just. It's there and I am plopping right into it. And I'm going to feel that starting right now. And it's going to continue today, tomorrow, the next day, the next, the next, the next, the next, until it arrives. Because I know I'm not going to stay where I am. And the longer I stay where I am and I don't belong, the more unhappy I'll get and the more I'll find myself clinging and battering myself to stay in the position and I'll realize, no, I'm. That boat sailed and I'm like clinging to the side of it. So I'm gonna let myself move into that new feeling state and that new path, whatever it opens to, I know what I'm bringing to the path. You know what you're bringing to the path. Tell me a couple of things.

Oh, my gosh. The first thing came to my mind was me, an authentic version of me, which I think is missing my current job. I'm bringing love and enthusiasm and belief and faith.

You're also bringing concrete skills. Right. Teaching experience, empathy, compassion, ability to absorb knowledge, transmit knowledge. Real stuff you've got emotional stuff you bring, and you've got skillset stuff you bring. That's a ton. So if you stay in that. Yeah, I mean, think about it. If you stay in that powerful state, and this is really like, so perfect for today. You stay in that powerful state, you stay in that understanding of. I bring a ton. A ton. Then as you go forward into change, what you're bringing into change isn't. Well, I don't know what I am or what I can do or I hope something will come to me. You're bringing this. It's like a. It's like a cruise ship, a navy ship. Like, that's what you're bringing into change. That is what people sit up and pay attention to. That is what your flow in your life pays attention to. Is this helping? I know I'm not. I'm not giving you an exact answer, but I'm trying to give you this very basic bird's eye view of this.

But it's settling in me so perfectly.

Mm. Yeah. So you're flowing into change and you're going to allow it. And you're bringing with you the big guns, meaning everything that you've already put together inside yourself. And you're staying open and you're allowing. And it may not be coaching and it may not be teaching, but it may be something that requires both of you. Remember, there are a thousand people who share your desire, a thousand companies who embody what you're after. Who are you going to align with? Align with them. Align with them before they even know it. Align with them. So you step out in front of them on. On the day after Thanksgiving and. And suddenly the connection is made and you're like, whoop, here starts my new life. Okay, so hold that feeling. All right, Melannie, thank you. Thank you for.

Oh, that was beautiful. Thank you, Summer.

You're welcome. I try to give like this little tiny roadmap, you know, like a five minute, like roadmap. Like just stay with this for a while, see what changes happen, and then we can go on to the next step.

That's it. Everything I needed.

Awesome. All right, thank you so much, my dear. Take care. Have a, have a beautiful rest of your week and holiday. All right, bye now. Bye. Oh, funny. It is so interesting doing this, this program, our second live show from the studio with weed blowers going by and I'm getting notes from my. My staff saying we can't hear you and you're distorted. And I'm like, can't deal with that right now. I'm so sorry. I can only do one thing and right now I'm talking, but I'm sure you guys will let me know post show how things went when you start anything new. I mean, this show is a perfect example. And inflow Radio, it'll be another great example. Everything new has a ramping up. If you have this idea that everything gets launched out of the gate like a picture perfect magazine cover. No, everything on that magazine cover took many, many years to develop and create. It looks simple, right? But heck, no. Photoshop had to develop from 1 to like 29.0. The model or whoever you're looking at on the COVID you know, had to develop and get into, be able to look that way, be that way. The person laying out the design of the COVID had to be doing that for many years. It had to go through many, many meetings. And yet to us it looks like, oh, everything should be like this. Things are not perfect. They are never perfect from the get go. Ironically, they're also exceedingly perfectly imperfect. If I go back to one of the. One of my more into episodes, you've got to see the imperfection and the perfection in the imperfection. Everything grows, everything changes. And you know what is so beautiful and brilliant about all of us? We're willing to roll with it. We're willing to go with it. Everything isn't yet so perfected and sterilized and clean and perfect. When we feel or notice that something is still evolving, changing, growing. Not quite right. Do you know how our hearts open? Mine do. I go, oh, they had a problem. Oh, look at that. They're still working that out. Oh, my God. They're human. Wow. So am I. Thank you. That just gave me hope. That's how I feel. That's how you should feel. Hear the door slamming. Obviously, most of my studio maintenance has to do with keeping my family in line and my gardeners in line and my cats in line, because it's a free for all in here, I tell you. It's a free for all. All right, let's get on to our next caller. We have next Jane from South Carolina. Hey, Jane, how are you? Welcome to the show.

Oh, thank you. I'm good.

How are you? I'm great. Have we ever talked before?

Yes, we have.

Oh, good, good, good. When. When was it? Refresh me. Sometimes I ask this because I have a feeling, a little sense. My little spidey sense is going off.

I think the last time we spoke was maybe three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago. Oh, are you in me school?

Yeah.

Okay. There we go. I don't get a whole lot of information, so I don't know until I ask you. And I'm like, why are. Why do I know you? Why do I. You know, I'm trying to, like, figure it out from a voice and an energy. All right, my dear. Well, welcome to the podcast. We're.

Thank you. Yeah, we were discussing, like, coaching and me school.

Okay. Okay, thank you. All right, so tell me. Tell me what's up? What's going on? What can we do? What can we create for you? Well.

A job. Similar to the last caller. I would. I'm looking for a job.

Mm. Okay. Looking for a job.

Coaching, training.

Right. I remember you now. We talked about me school. I don't think. Right. We talked about it. Okay. Okay. So you're looking for a job. What's the holdback? What's your fear about a job? Tell me your fear about it.

I don't know what fear. I'm just having Trouble about where I would fit in.

Okay, what about. You wouldn't fit in?

I don't know where that would be or what that would look like.

Okay, so let's just say right now you have a feeling that you're not sure if other people would want you just at the very basis.

Yeah, I think that's. That's. That's kind of like it. I've got a lot of experience. I have a lot of training.

Yeah.

Knowledge and intuition. And it's still trying to figure out how that formed into a job.

Okay.

Working for someone else.

Okay. So when I look at you, what I feel is you have. There's me and there's what the world wants. Two categories. Okay. What the world wants is a set of skills. It's me to contort myself into this 9 to 5 and pack my brown bag lunch in the morning and not get anybody's way and just put my head down and just do whatever I'm told. And right. There's all this stuff built up around the job. And then there's you. I'm intuitive, I'm trustworthy. You can hand me anything, and I'm willing to figure it out. And I'll take all the time I need to figure it out, but I will get it done. And I have certain special abilities to talk with people, relate with people, see into things, help people feel good about themselves, whatever else may be in your skill set. So you've got these feelings about yourself, and then you've got those feelings about a job and what people would want from you. And there's this disconnect, a gulf, like leaping between two cliffs. What you are and give and what you think people want and how you don't want to fit that. So. So I'm not saying this is all and everything that's going on with you, but if you were to take a few minutes, you know, after this call and think about the gulf, what is it that I think jobs will not want from me or I don't want from the job? Journal it, feel it, flow through it. I need you to bridge the gap. I need you to understand that not all jobs are that way. Forget your prior experience. Those were jobs you had in the past. Those are not jobs you have in the future. Not all employers are like that. Not all people are like that. Maybe you want to work for yourself. If that's the case, how will you treat you? Lovingly? Gentle? Will you honor all of those things in you if you can do that for yourself? Why couldn't someone Else do that for you? Do you not trust them to? Bingo. So this is where you're getting into the spin cycle, right? Because you're caught between these feelings. Other people won't trust me the way that I would trust me because I don't trust other people to trust me or know that I could do these things. Spin, spin, spin. We can get all balled up in there. Are you following this?

I am. It's really interesting.

I know. My. One of the things I love to do is help people see things from a different perspective. Right. Strip down the way you're currently looking at it and see it a different way. In a way, I hope that will be very empowering and useful. So I want you to start thinking about a job very, very differently. This job is going to love you. It's been begging for you. All the skills you have, it wants from you. It will honor all of your best parts. It will not even notice the parts that you feel secure, insecure or unhappy about. Won't even notice them. You are worthy and worthwhile and your gifts are being held back right now. And so your income is being held back right now. And so your life is being held back right now. They all go together. But it's that fear and trust combination. That's the lock that you have to break. The fear of showing yourself and the trust that you'll be wanted when you do. And I know the job search can be lengthy and I know you can face a lot of people saying no, no, no, no, no. But imagine if you were looking for a partner, a life partner. You would want a lot of people to say no to you because you'd be saying no to them too. You know, I would not. I like, it's like, would you walk in the grocery store and like the first person you laid eyes on said, you're my life partner? No. Neither would you do that with an employer or a career path. You've got to look and sift through a lot. But if you put yourself in the right place, in the right circumstance, you're probably going to have a much better chance of finding that person. You know, if I was out at a sci fi movie, I love science fiction, I'd probably have a much greater chance of finding a new partner who is also at that sci fi movie. Because I'm putting myself in a place where I'm finding people like me. And you're going to do the same thing emotionally and physically. Start swirling where you want to be. Okay?

Okay.

Alright, my dear. Go think on all Those things play with it, bridge the gap, leap. Think about those two containers. The you that's good at all the stuff. And then the you that you think employers want. Notice how far distant those two are right now inside you. They need to be cheek to cheek, cheek to cheek. Until you get them cheek to cheek, you're gonna be pushing them away, and they're gonna be pushing you away. Okay?

Yes. Thank you so much.

You're so welcome, my dear. I think I even know your last name. It just popped up in my head. I won't say it on air, though. All right. Bye, my dear. Take care. Bye now. Thank you.

You too.

You're welcome. Oh, my goodness. Okay, I think. I think things are starting to sound a little better. I'm hoping I'm not getting any words to the contrary. Either that or my lovely call screener, Lori is leaving me be. So she's. So she won't me fret while I'm talking with you. Let's go to one more caller, and then we're going to wrap up today with just a short, little gentle finishing flow dream. Right? Getting into a state of flow and ease, becoming very present and very proactive. Preactive in our lives. Ooh, I like that new word, preactive. Here we go. Jamie, you're in San Clemente. Hey, Jamie, you're right up the coast from me. How are you?

Okay. Love, love a new studio. So exciting.

Oh, great. You're coming through a little faint. Unfortunately, I can't make you any louder. Can you talk more into your phone?

How's that? Is that better?

No, that's just exactly the same.

How's that? Is that better?

No, you were better and then you backed away again.

Oh, okay, I'm talking really loud now. Can you hear me?

You sound just the same. Just keep going. We'll make it work. How are you?

Well, I'm good. I'm good. Okay, so deal. Let me do it quickly. Normally it's about me, but now it's about my husband and supporting him. He has been in transition for about three years.

He's been in transition. Okay, this is about your husband. He's been in transition for how long? A third of a year. Three.

Three years.

Three years. Okay.

Yeah. Job wise.

Okay.

From being employed to being self employed. And I'm just so worn out.

Yeah.

And I've got the kids and me.

And so is he actively looking for work right now? This is like the Work. The Work podcast today. Is he actively working for Working. Looking for work?

Well, that's the funny Thing is, he has his own company. Like, it's almost there. And then a client will drop off. Oh, we say, oh, let's go get a job, just to bridge the gap. And then he'll get another client back and forth and back and forth.

Yeah. Give me his first name. Give me his first name. Dave. All right, I'm gonna look at Dave real quick. All right. And just see I already have a sense, a hint of this situation. Dave's got a lot of worries right now. I don't know if he shares these with you or not, but he's a big, big bag of worry. Okay. All right. Because I feel it's. Whoo. It's like a big whirlpool in there. Here's. Here's what's gone on. He lost his. He lost his old job. He feels like he's really out of the market. He's not sure how to get back into the market. He's not sure if they want him back in the market if he's been gone so long that anybody would still take him. The market. Oh, a lot of stuff there. Gosh. Okay. So when he keeps getting. He keeps getting. It's almost like a psychological thing. It's almost like an energy thing. He keeps just getting one job at a time. Enough to let him keep being freelance, but not enough to let him go big. Okay. It's like he's just toeing the line. Every time he gets another freelance job, it means he doesn't have to go look for a job. Whereas I just told you, he has mountain of fears. He will do anything to bring in a freelance job. And yet when he gets to the point of having more and more freelance jobs and growing a big, big business or big company around it, or we're somehow expanding and really flourishing, another set of fears comes up, which is. These are. These are hard to get. They're hard to find. There's a lot of competition. That's not as easy as it looks. He's got a lot of ceilings going on, in other words, Right. So it's like he's trapped himself in this middle zone of. It's like a habitation zone. This is a weird image, but you ever seen pictures of the planet? And. And they'll be like the habitation zone was. You know, it's freezing in Arctic up here, and it's hot and boiling down there, and there's this little thin strip around the middle where people can live. Like from some weird old science class I took probably 20 years ago. He's he's created a habitation zone for him right below. Too high as it's freezing and the job market doesn't want me anymore. I'm out. I'm scared I won't make what I used to make below that is hot and boiling. Too much competition. There's too much else. Other people. So I've got my little habit zone and there's only a little bit habitable zone. There's only a few people who come here and just enough that I can keep believing in it. So pull back for a second and look at this like a construct that he's created. No judgment here. This isn't a judgy thing. It's not like my husband's not trying or he's not supportive. He is. We all. Yes, yes. Yeah, we all. We all get ourselves in these little trapped zones from time to time. It's super, super natural. So he's got to do the work though, himself. You can't do it for him. He has to start stretching. First of all, ask him to pick a direction. Are you going back? Which would you rather do? Go back to work or grow your company? Get a. Get a solid answer. I know, ask him. Solid. You want to grow your company. Fantastic. We are 100% aboard. Going to work for someone else is no longer an option. Can you let that go? Can we just take that off the table? You will never work for someone else again. Okay.

We've done that before, but it's just.

Right. Remove the fear, though, because that fear is blocking energy. It's taking up space. Think of this like his brain is a computer disk and it's been allocated with a certain chunks of memory and stuff. Right. And the go back to work is like this big red blotch. We want to free up that space right now, fully taking it off the table.

What's best for him.

Yeah. So he could be really good at what he does. He could be four times as busy. He doesn't want to be over busy. He doesn't want to be stressed out. He will. He's telling me that, no, I'm not going to do too much, but he could be four times as busy as he is right now and still feel comfortable. He'd be in the high end of his habitable zone. So he's got to get in there right now and I'm helping him start expressing that more. I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm open. I'm showing myself. Where are you? I'm here for you. You're looking for Me, I'm looking for you. Let's go, let's do this. Now, when he gets a job, he can't just forget about all of that and just work on the job and then return to that when he's done. He's got to keep that rolling like a generator, an engine. It's got to keep pumping even while he's doing his job. I see a little bit of a tendency that when he gets a, he can go, oh my God, I got a job. And then he does that and all of the cultivation stops. Right. So the cultivation will start to be ongoing for him. What I'm really seeing, I meant a job, a self employment job. We're not talking a job for anybody else. We just took that off the plate two minutes ago. Okay. Right. So the new work that keeps flowing in, he's got to be feeling like I'm working on, on stuff, finishing stuff. New stuff is coming in. I'm working on stuff, finishing stuff and new stuff is coming in. Right. It's like, it's like doing the dishes. You have to put them in the water, you have to scrub them, you have to rinse them, you have to dry them. And if you're doing it in partnership, you do it together and it becomes like this beautiful seamless chain. Okay. He's got to start feeling that way about himself. I've got jobs coming in. I've got jobs I'm doing, I've got jobs I'm drying off and putting away while new jobs are going in the water and they're all just flowing in. And this is a continuous thing. Continuous. And I can grow the space for it. And there's. The jobs are not avoiding him. The dishes are stacking up. It's not like they're going to some other sink. So he's got to, he's got to peel that away from his mind. Okay. A lot of this for him has to do with his thinking and his expectations. He's become habituated. He's in a bit of a ruth. He needs to have it all shaken up. Okay. And the rut, the rut has to do with. I don't get enough, it's hard. And I'm reserving this fear of having to go back to the other job. Cancel, cancel, cancel all of those out. Okay.

Good visual.

Yeah. See what he does with it. I mean, sometimes it feels like super. What was that?

I think he'll take it to heart.

Good. Yes. Because sometimes it feels like very, very practical stuff. But to actually do that, to enact this. That's. He could spend hours figuring out how to enact what we just talked about in the last five minutes. Really enact it day by day. Enact it. Make sure he's not slipping off that path. Enactment it. And he will. See, two weeks from now, two months from now, you could listen to this again and be like, hey, you just slid right back to where we were. I bet you stopped feeling and thinking all of that, didn't you? And I bet you went back to what you. I bet this is what we were talking about back, you know, in November of last year. You want to look for that, and that's how you'll. That's how you'll see how strong it is. Yes. Yeah. Thank you.

You're amazing.

Okay, my dear. Thank you. Jamie. Great call. Good luck to your husband. He has all the potential in the world. You know, that's why I was giving you such stiff advice for him, because I just want to pry him off of this, get him unstuck from this.

Thinking, okay, well, I mean, I'm gonna be like, if Summer wants to kick.

Your butt, I do. I want to kick his butt. I see absolutely no reason for him to be here. I really don't. And so if he gives you a reason, you say, null void doesn't know that's not a reason. Make them all be wrong. It could really infuriate him until he breaks through it and he realizes, I need to be wrong about all of these. Okay.

Yep.

All right, Jamie, you take care. Thanks a lot. Bye.

Thank you.

Bye. All right, so we're going to finish up today with a beautiful little flow dream in just a few minutes, hoping that you will enjoy this. Let's try it out. Bringing on some music for you. Go ahead and close your eyes. Release. Relax and move into flow. Let yourself drift. Drifting in change. Drifting in flow. Drifting in who and what you are growing, evolving, becoming more powerful. Every, Every single day. Every day, you're finding a piece of you. A bit of you. It's a treasure hunt through life. Treasure hunt through change. Let yourself change. No holding on. Release. Feel how the ride is more gentle than you expect. It's gentle, much more gentle. You are gentle. Moving, growing. Let yourself risk and let yourself try. Let yourself become and let yourself be. You are changing and you want to be. Passing through stages of fullness, of emptiness. Just passing through. Growing. Release into your flow. Release. All is well. All is well and beautiful in your life. And now you find yourself returning from flow. Coming back and you open your eyes. And there you have it. By the way, if you enjoyed that, if you enjoyed our whole subject today, there is a playlist for you called Wondrous Change and Transition. It's a meditation set. Look that up@flow dreaming.com I have some beautiful Flow dreams that will help you weather through change grow. Get excited about being in this state of being instead of dreading it and just tolerating it. If you have been in a stage of tolerating and dreading, you are letting your life slip by slip through your fingers. It is precious. Learn to love it. It's going to be a big part of your life. So let yourself love it. Get some of those Flow dreams and go start programming your life programming. Good morning, Great day. Program your day after all kinds of things anyway there for you@flowdreaming.com and in the meantime, I'll see you all again here same time, same place next week for more Flow Dreaming. Hey everyone, thanks for listening today. One request before you go. Please rate this podcast either in itunes or tunein.com or wherever you listen to it. It'll only take you a minute to do, but your rating there is the number one way that other people discover this show and the more ratings, the more people who will find and get turned on to Flow Dreaming. While you're there, you might also want to download my free Flow Dreaming podcast app. With this app, you can listen to the show anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as I search through listings of all of my episodes and bookmark your favorites. And if you want to listen to Flow Dreams, actual Flow Dreams on your phone, there's even another app, it's my Player app and it will let you browse and sample Flow Dreams from the shop. There's even an oracle inside of that app to help you see and discover what you need to know most or what Flow Dream would be best for you in your life. Right now you can find these apps on itunes or in Google or your Amazon App Store. And again, thank you so so so much for giving back. Love you. Bye bye.