#563: Special Series: Backward Looking Girl

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives.

Breathe.

I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Hello little pumpkins and chickadees out there. It's Summer McStravic and welcome to the show. I am coming to you from the beautiful Encinitas, California, where today we have billowy gray, misty overdone skies. It feels like Seattle. This is our typical May gray that we get here. It's beautiful most of the year, but May and June, oh, you can feel like you never quite wake up all day long. Although I know those of you in London and Seattle and Portland and etc, you guys, you're like, ugh, you dare to complain. I know, I know. Hot house flowers out here in California. Anyway, we just had a really nice weekend. It was a three day weekend and my husband and kids and I, we went up to Warner Brothers Studios up in Los Angeles and we've never been there. I mean, it's crazy. We don't live that far away and we spent a good four hours getting to ride around in one of those little carts. If you've never done this, it's actually a public thing. It's not a fancy thing. It's like apparently tons of people do this. We just never knew we could. So we jumped on the golf cart with them and we toured through all these sound stages. We got to stand on Conan o' Brien stage. A couple other sets of different shows that you guys have seen out there that are in motion. One was a police drama that I didn't know of. Another one was like a nightclub drama that I also didn't know of because I don't watch that much tv unfortunately. But it was so, so, so fun. And we got back and then my husband got violently ill. He picked up some sort of food poisoning in la. So if I'm a little groggy today, I'm just. This was all an elaborate lead up to where I'm coming from. You know, I probably got four hours sleep last night and did you know, oddly enough, of course I got four hours sleep on the day that kicks off our birthday week for Inflow Radio. So if you're listening to this for the first time, yes, the show is called Flow Dreaming. And yes, it's been on for 13 consecutive years as a live radio show and podcast. And recently we decided to build a network around it. So this means that we've got tons of wonderful hour long live interactive radio programs that you can listen to. And it's on inflowradio.com so you'll hear me talk about both flowdreaming.com and inflowradio.com. so Inflow's official birthday. We're kind of like a restaurant, right? You ever seen a new restaurant go up in town and you watch them hang the sign and then you watch the tables get popped in there and you keep walking by it and wonder when it's going to be open. And eventually it just kind of opens and you're, you're, oh, you're like, oh, it's open. What do you. I don't know. Should we try it out? So, so radios do the same thing that restaurants do. They're called soft launches. And this is the time that you give your staff, your cooks, everybody kind of time to just kind of wear into their roles and get used to things. And obviously you don't want to have everything just debut on the very same day because it would be, it would be utter chaos. So just like that restaurant, Inflow radio has been percolating along for a little while now, but we're really just reaching that point where we recognize, aha, this is it. This is when we are really reaching out to the world and to you. So if you've been with us over the last few weeks, thank you, thank you, thank you. You guys were. What do they call those early adopters? You're the early adopters, the super fans. And for those of you who, those of you who are just coming on, welcome, welcome, welcome. So the way it works is including my show today, all week long, our hosts, these beautiful, magnificent, brilliant beings who host our radio programs for you, are planning on giving away stuff. It's not a contest with rules. It's just like they want to give away stuff. It's kind of like with a birthday, instead of you giving us presents, we give you presents. So to get a present, in most cases, you know, you've got to reach out. We've got to know who you are. So we ask you to call us. And that can mean calling with a question, it can mean calling with a comment. It can be calling to just say, happy birthday, you're so awesome. Whatever it is you want to call in about, just give us a jingle. And you might score something kind of wonderful, depending on who the host is. And what they're feeling like giving away everything from private sessions to books to just all kinds of things, audios, things that they've created. So the number to call today right now and all week long during the live shows only by the way, this is not happening when shows are not broadcasting live. So you want to check the website carefully. Inflow radio.com but the number is 760-456-7277. That's a US number. So you want to add a 1. If you're out of the country you might add a 01 or a 0011 or wherever it is you're calling from, you can call that number from all over. So that was a very long intro. Sorry guys, but I, I, I really wanted you to hear about the kind of exciting stuff that's going on this week. And you know you should be getting a show guide from us every week too. We talk about shows that we really like and kind of want to turn you on to etc. So what's happening in the world of flow dreaming today? Where are we at? Well today I believe what are we episode? I believe it might be 563. I should have memorized the actual number. Yes it is. It's 563. And it's still part of my special series that I've launched off to since the live show has started again. And this one's called Backwards Looking Girl. Backwards looking girl. And I chose this because it's so, it's so it's relevant. No matter when you're listening or where you're listening, at some point in your life you are probably going to be backward looking girl or backward looking boy. Why do I say girl or boy? Because I'm trying to kind of subconsciously, you know, trigger you to know. It's when you were less than you are now. Less wisdom, less experience, less age. Younger. Right. And backwards looking can be beautiful, wonderful. You know when I some of my best God, I mean some of my memories, you know, I still remember the first day I held both of my kids in my arms. I remember the day I said my wedding vows. I remember some exquisite trips that I've taken. I can look back across my life and those peak moments are just like little shiny diamonds that hang above all the rest. And then I know that there's hours and days and just ah, minutes that have just been swallowed by time. Never recoverable. Backwards looking girl. Backwards looking boy. So how this relates to energy flow, life, universe dynamics. Right. Because that's what we really Explore in flow Dreaming. Yes. We teach you how to manifest and co create. That's the basics, right? That's level one. But from there you launch into how does energy work? How do things come together in our lives? Why does our future look like the way it does? Why do we keep getting the same things? What are blocks? What are patterns? Who are we? How much power do we actually have in our lives? Those are boiled down the central questions of this entire program over the years. So when we look backwards and we're kind of reminiscing about the yummy, sugary, sweet, delicious loving spots in our lives, that is one category. But there is another category, completely different. And it becomes a kind of, what do you call it? Hardship, A kind of reliance. A handicap, if you will. And I mean handicap in a posit. Well, no, not in a positive way. In this case, I don't. Some handicaps can be very positive, but in this case, this is not a positive handicap. This is something that alters the way that you're able to move forward in your own life. Because there's this thing you have to adjust around, which is not normally how I'd use the word handicap. Because I believe things like, I know I'm going off on a tangent, but I believe blindness, deafness, I believe all of these can be incredible bonuses and pluses. You know, my own family is riddled with anxiety and ADHD and so, you know, all kinds of handicaps. I don't mean those kinds. Right. I mean you kind of crippling yourself. You gotta be so PC nowadays. Like explain every term, like even cripple. Is that a worse word? Crippling yourself because you're looking backwards and because you have gotten stuck. Here's how this works. And believe it or not, yes, I have a whole set of notes around this. It seems like a silly, simple concept, but it's not. So take a look and just kind of drill down with me. Some of us look backwards, almost knee jerk. We don't even know we're doing it. And it can happen because something comes up for you. Oh my God, he didn't call. I mean something super simple. He didn't call. He said he'd call. He didn't call. What am I gonna do? Oh God. And it's not just a frustration or a disappointment in your friend or your potential date or whom we know, whatever this example is turning out to be. It's not just that basic disappointment. It's he did not call. And then there's this huge backstory of other Crap that opens up behind it. The last guy didn't call. They always end up not calling. Then they do call, and then you kind of have to very carefully baby and manage them because they may not call again unless you act a certain way. And then you know, you still aren't really sure. And sometimes they just stop calling for no reason. And then you just have to get over it and reassure yourself that you're okay after all and still a good enough human being and it wasn't your fault. And pretty soon you're like, this is why I'm still single and I'm 39 years old and I'm never gonna have a family and I'm never gonna get married. And because why? The guy just didn't call. He just didn't call. And yet all this stuff erupts, right? It's like. It's like dropping a little bouncy ball into a whole bucket of glitter. It's like all this stuff comes up. It's like, no, no, it's. The glitter is the backstory. The glitter is the past. The glitter is the backward back looking point in your life. So when something happens to you present instead of in a healthy way, just saying, oh, this has occurred for me before. What are my reactions that I'm gonna do with this? He hasn't called. Well, I'm gonna call him. Bingo. Taken care of. Done. End of story. Oh, I got the voicemail. All right, I guess I'll see if he calls or not. If he doesn't, loser. Moving on. Or I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for 48 hours and we'll see what happens from there. And then when he does call, I'll let him know how I feel. Bingo. Done. Simple, clean, right? But because of this backstory, because of this tendency to relate everything to what happened before, this person is being judged now by all the past behaviors of all these other different people that you've known before now. They can be judged in a good way. Like, I've learned something from my experiences way. Or they can be judged in a bad way. And here is the bad way of judging it. You brace, you get ready. You're like, oh, I've done this, I've done this before and we're gonna do it again. And I hate this. And I just. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, sometimes people get this way about workplaces. They go to a good job, a nice job, a fun job, where they're surrounded by good atmosphere, good people, and then they're like, oh, but all bad. You know, just one little bit of criticism or something and boom, they're in that horrible, bad, damaging workplace again and they destroy, they destroy where they're at. So it's the same principle. You're looking backwards and you're stuck in this state of being. And this is not a character flaw. Let me point this out. It's almost like a record that gets stuck. Like old school reference here. A record needle that gets stuck and the same line keeps going over and over and over. So what you want to do is recognize. Am I assuming that something will turn out badly because that's the way it did before. Those of you who listened to my whole Lack Cycle trilogy a while back, you recognize this will do you assume that something will turn out badly because that's the way it was before. That is a lack thought, clear and shining and brilliant in front of you. What it's saying is no good will come of this because in the past it has worked out like poop. And so I now expect that again. Remember, as co creators, as people who flow, your universe is listening, listening, listening. And when you say the moment you say it isn't going to work out, your flow says, oh, she's at it again. She's expecting the same thing she's expected before and before and before. And why? Because you're saying, well, it'd be dumb to experience or expect anything otherwise I would just be sticking my head in the sand. There was a big difference between sticking your head in the sand and moving forward with a different set point inside of you. Right? Sticking your head in the sand is like denial, denial, denial. It might happen, but it's not going to happen. It might happen, but it's not going to happen. Denial, denial. That's the emotional, energetic focus. It's actually on denial. But a different set point is no, this doesn't have to happen again. I don't assume it will turn out badly this time. It may have in the past, but one, I've grown, I've changed, I've traveled a lot of ground. I've traveled years. I've had experience, I've worked with more people, I've had more partners. I've grown up, I've matured, I've screwed up enough times that I won't keep doing that. And now you're in a full on new frame of reference. You're not backward looking, you're forward looking. So that is the number one way that I see this little trend or this energy trend playing out for Us. And believe me, all you have to do right now is look at something in your life that you're dreading or that's frustrating you or you feel powerless. Just look at it, okay? I gave you a couple seconds there. A couple seconds of dead air. Find that thing. I bet you, you feel that way about it, not just because of present circumstances, but because you have in fact added on a. And now it's all gonna be ruined. And this is how it goes. And it can't get better from here. And now it's gonna be awful and it's gonna be traumatic and it's gonna be like, ugh. Okay. Find the backward looking connection. Different than learning from your experience. Okay, that's number one. Thank you, guys. I see the calls are flowing in here, by the way. 760-456-7277. I've got free goodies coming up. Number two. This is a kind of variation of backwards looking trigger. This is backward looking, like full on stuck. I've been there a while. Person I have worked with, many, many clients who were accidentally stuck here. They didn't even know they're stuck here. I mean, that's the thing. If you knew you were stuck here, you'd probably like, get on with things. But the key is you often don't know you're stuck here. Often. Often. I see people who've been through divorces, in particular relationships that have broken up and they're looking back and they're saying to themselves, those were the good old days. That's when everything was great. That's when I had friends. That's when I had money. That's when I had safety. That's when I was in love. That's when my kids were still happy. That's when. And this beautiful time in their life is still beautiful. But more and more what's happening is the present in their life is not gaining the same beauty because they're constantly comparing their present to this past experience that was in fact beautiful. But nothing is as beautiful as that. So this is when you kind of have this deep feeling in you. All the best things are behind me, right? When I was in my 40s, all the best stuff was there. When I was in my 30s, that was it. That was when my career was blooming, or I fell in love when I was in my 20s and I met my part, and that's when everything was amazing. Right? Is there a decade. Just give yourself a second here. Do a little exercise with me. Is there a decade or a time period, an epic an era when you say, God, that was so good, right? I can actually pull up a couple of those in my mind, in my heart. And yeah, bad stuff happened too. But on the whole, tasty, yummy, I love them. So where does this turn into being stuck in it? Well, let me tell you a story about a past client of mine. I worked with her, I don't know, a long time back, five, seven years back, at least 10 even. And she came to me because she used to work for a top talent agency. Like they placed the biggest actors in the biggest roles she was in casting. And I mean, her job was to say this a lister gets the job and that a lister doesn't. And she worked on big movies and TV shows. It was an amazing position. She kind of fell into it, right? You know, she started just kind of as a, you know, an assistant and then they loved her and, you know, one of those beautiful, serendipitous trips where you don't really expect to ever be doing something like that. And now it's you. You're it. That was her. And then she happened to fall in love with someone who was gorgeous and intelligent and powerful and smart and, and just everything she wanted. And so she quit her job because he had to move and she couldn't do her job any longer. And then, you guys know what's coming, right? They broke up, they broke up, they separated and she ended up being one of my clients because she said, I gave up everything. I will never get a job as good as that again. I can't go back. It's been too long. They've already filled everything. I'm not youthful like I used to be. I'm not that person that I was who they used to trust to find what's on trend and who is the right person. And, you know, in the thick of things. She said, it's just gone somewhere. I just can't get that back. I said, I know, I know. What a beautiful and luscious, gorgeous experience that your life gave you. And yet you've probably got another 40 plus years, 50 years ahead of you. What are you going to do with them? Who are you going to be? Did you peak those, you know, 10 years back? Was that it? Was that the high point? Do you ever remember how your parents used to say things in high school like, oh, don't you worry about it. The prom queen is going to be, you know, pregnant and, and on food stamps within three years with the ugly quarterback that. Who's going to end up being like a low Life, alcoholic. Don't you worry about it, honey. You've got a bright future. You don't have to worry about them. Right. Is that like typical parent advice? It's like, no, but they're actually really popular, sweet people. Like, well, I'm trying to make you feel better. Everything, they've peaked. They peaked in high school. That's kind of like the old mom logic. So we tend to have this feeling in our lives like, well, I peaked when I was 32, I peaked when I had that job, I peaked in that marriage. And now it's just about, you know, skating through, maintaining. Please look at this deeply. What kind of feeling is this that you're really giving your life, universe, flow, God, source is giving you every single day another breath. And what you're saying is, yeah, but this one isn't as good as the ones I had a few years ago. Oof. Do you really want to be that person saying that? Yeah, but this isn't as good as what I had. Yeah, I appreciate the breath and I appreciate the life and the body and the, and the ability to live another day. Because yeah, a lot of people don't have it. Millions of people actually die every day. But not me. I've got one more. But yeah, yeah, it was still better back then. Just feel for a second, I want to just get you into this space. I know it's kind of weird, but think about kind of the arrogance, kind of the selfishness of that feeling, that thought, yeah, but it's not good enough. I already had it. Now I'm just kind of wasting through the time. 40, 50 years, a struggle of not enough. I want to remind you right here, like, stop. Screech goes the record needle. This is the moment when you say to yourself, my life is created by me. It's co created by me. My life, the next 10 years, the next 20 years, 30, 40, 50, 60, however much you got is co created by you. And if you're the one saying what I'm going to put into it is not going to be very amazing or awesome. Your choice. That is your choice. You are saying it. Because if you believe it's not your choice, what you're really saying then is life just hands me stuff and I accept it and I take it and I got all the good stuff and now it's just gonna suck. I have no power, I have no control, I have no vision. Life doesn't listen to me, my future, my flow, none of it. I am a total victim, just floating in the waters of life. Sitting, seeing what I bump into. And what I see is bad, right? Can you see it? I'm taking it to extremes here. I want you to see the contrast. That's what you're saying. So let's wipe that away, right? Take that big chalkboard eraser and just erase all of that. Right now you have 10 years to make something marvelous, to make something even better than what you had before. A better marriage, a better job, a better place to live, even better health. I don't care if I know this sounds so callous. I don't care. What I'm trying to say is I don't care even if you're saying, but I lost my health. So you know what? I lost my health too. My body is scarred up. It's, you know, it's patched together. It's been irradiated and stitched open and closed. It's painful. I've been through that too. I had a perfect body. Now I don't. But I'm not looking at that and saying, my body can't still feel wonderful and great. I love when my body was great. Now I have something that's ongoing and kind of permanent. I get it. But my body can still be great. It can still be my friend. I can still wake up every day loving it, being happy with it and saying, hey, you want to go for a run? You want to do some rowing? You want to do some swimming? Maybe we should dance. And it's a tendency to say, yeah, but mine can't, mine won't, right? And like we're trying to out prove each other. Well, who's got it worse? Let's not do that. Let's not out prove each other. Who's got it worse, right? That's not the contest we're supposed to be in. Contest we're supposed to be in is how much happier can we be tomorrow? You individually, what can you do with what you've got? That is forward facing person. And I'll tell you energetically, inside a person's energy system, when I go into them and I feel them and I look at them and I'm sensing them and I'm in flow with them, I can tell which direction they are facing. It literally feels like a direction. Like someone has turned my shoulders one direction or the other. And that's where we get to work. Nudge, nudge, nudge. Turning you, turning you, turning you. By the way, if you are feeling inspired, like, damn, I do not wanna be the backward facing person anymore. I didn't realize the untold damage it may be doing in my life. Actually, yes. There are ways to fix this. And I'm gonna suggest that you go to the shop@flowdreaming.com. everything I talk about here, I've created emotional, energetic feeling, emotion based exercises, gorgeous experiences. They're all set to music. So you listen to it. It's like listening to a song, right? A 10 minute, 15 minute beautiful song that moves you and the words take you and guide you. And there are things like release my past and forgive my family and let go and all kinds of forgiveness ones, Things that just let you move on. Go. Go to the shop@flowdreaming.com look for some of those playlists and pick one up and start moving on them. You know what those do? They start rearranging your head and they start rearranging your energy system, rearranging your body. If you want to have amazing things happen to you in your future, you have got to clear out any tendency that you're having right now to face backwards. Imagine if you were walking backwards into your future. Cause all you're looking at is what was great behind you. Would you even see what you're walking into? No, you're facing the wrong way. And from that perspective, everything that you see is actually something that's already occurred. Everything else that's behind you, behind you. Like switch your vision with me for a second. Imagine you're walking backwards into your future and you look from side to side. What do you see? You only see things that have already happened all the way already occurred. No wonder life feels like it just smacks you and just happens. There is a physical, emotional, energetic sensation of turning around. And when you turn around, what you're starting to say is, oh, something different will happen to me this time. Oh, I don't need to dread that or prepare for that. That's not me. We are different. We are changed. We are good, we are receiving good. I don't care. You put any kind of wonderful messages in that you want. Okay? So the third and last way that I want to point out that I see myself and others looking backwards. And by the way, in mi school, we spend time on this theme as well. Not everyone has it. Some people have it more large than others. Particularly if you are blessed enough to have a big, beautiful, you know, point in your life. It's kind of a blessing in some cases because it means you've had something extraordinary, right? But it also means there's a bigger chance that you could be trapped in that. So the third one Is here feeling over the hill, used up and left behind. And it's funny because sometimes we think, oh, you know, I'm in my 20s or you're in your 20s, how could you possibly be feeling like you've already, you know, lost out and you're already feeling behind? I remember though, remember talking to my friends, like 26, 28, 30, and they're starting to say things like, damn, you know, I should be well into my career by now. God, you know, so and so's got five, six years already there. They've already been promoted, they're already up going into management. They're already. And I'm like, you're 27. What, what are you worried about? I've missed the boat. Boy, if I didn't get started a few years ago, or I missed the boat, I didn't get into the right college and I've got to make up time and. And I'm already behind. It's already behind me. Wow, 27, really? It's already behind you? And then it just feels like it could get even more real. I'm 40, I'm re entering the workplace. I raised my kids, took some time off, and now I'm back. And everyone says, what have you been doing the last 10 years? Raising my kids. They're like, well, do you have any experience with these, you know, programs and these computer things and blah, blah, blah? Nope. And you're feeling like, oof, I have just lost out. I lost a decade. I'm over the hill. No one's gonna hire me. It's gonna take forever to catch up. I'm never gonna get those higher wages. I'm done. Or I spent so many years just going from job to job and never really sticking with anything. I've got friends who even say this now, why didn't I build something, Summer? How come I just didn't find something and stick with it? Why did I get a new job every two years now? Everything I do is an entry level job. Over and over. I'm like, you know what? You can start anytime. Just stick, just stay where you are. Just stick it out. Just stay. I start now. Well, it's too late. What? And then, of course, the worst. I'm 57, I'm gonna retire in three years and I'm over the hill. Who's gonna hire me? I need to find a job. No one wants me. No one wants me. Nobody wants to be my partner. Nobody wants a 57 year old girlfriend. All the guys that are, you know, 57 are looking at the 34 year olds, I've heard it, believe me. I'm not just being stereotypical. This is the stuff I actually hear in actual se with you guys. I know how you feel, and I'm going to say it out loud because I see it all right. Over the hill, used up. What I'm trying to point out here is this isn't something that happens at a particular age. It's not like there's a grand clock, bing, bing, tick, tick, you just hit it. Now you're used up and over the hill. It's a feeling state that you voluntarily enter at any age in your life. Any age in your life. People in their 20s are feeling it, 30s are feeling it, 40s are feeling it, 50s, 60s, 70s are feeling it. I pray when I'm in my 80s, what I'm saying then is, yeah, I am kind of used up and I had a beautiful, lovely life and now I just want to sit around and read books all day. That's when I actually want to feel that, not now. So if you're feeling it and you don't want to feel it, this is your choice. You are choosing to see yourself in this light, in this prism. I know plenty of amazing people whose careers didn't even get started until their 50s and mid-60s. I'm thinking of Louise Hay in particular, who's started her company, I believe, in her 60s, right? Wow. What you been doing the rest of the 60 years? Can you imagine if she said it was all behind me? I did all the good stuff before. You are never over the hill until you say you are. And if you feel that society tells you you are, or other people say you are, if you have any reasons at all for saying that you are, please sit. Examine those reasons. Why did you accept them? Why did you say yes to them? Why did you say, okay, that's good enough for me, I'll believe that one? There's a lot of stuff we can be believing out there. Why did you pick to believe that one? All right, so that is kind of what I wanted to leave you guys with. We're gonna do a flow dream a little later on and we're gonna do some giveaways and check into you and your life, give you some free gifts and stuff coming up. But I'm curious, you know, do you want to call in and tell me your backwards story? Do you want to tell me how you got out of your backwards story? How you conquered it, or how it broke up and dissolved for you? Do you want to tell me how Maybe you had something amazing happen to you and that was the key. It just kind of jerked or jostled you out of it. Sometimes that's what happens. We don't even realize we're in it until something new comes along and they go, oh, well, now I'm out of something I didn't even realize I was in. Interesting. Thank you, Flo. Okay, so we have a quick break. When we come back, Susan, hold tight, my dear. You're gonna be our next up and we'll see what fun things you get. And stay tuned for more Flow Dreaming right after this. Imagine if there were a store where you could walk down the aisle and pop some self love into your basket. Or how about tons of clients? Or maybe you're more in the mood for some relationship repair. Or how about more money monthly? These are all flow dreams and you can literally put them in your basket. You can use them, feel them, take them inside you and become them. Become these things inside so that the universe starts offering them to you on the outside in your life. You tell the universe who you are by feeling it first. You can find all of these flow dreams. I have more than 100 of them. They're@flowdreaming.com in my shop. Browse through, pick the things that you want to become and put them in your cart. Now you can find the Flow Dreaming shop both on a regular computer as well as on your mobile device. On your mobile device, you can either use your browser to go to flowdreaming.com or you can download my free app where you can browse through. Listen to samples of all of the flow dreams that I've just been talking about. So go check, check them out, choose a few playlists, get started, Pick up my free kit that teaches you how to flow dream while you're at it. And that way you can really get started changing your life. Now, let's get back to the program. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the U.S. number, 1-760-456-7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays, so check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time. Again, reach me at 1-760-456-7277. Now let's get back to the show. Welcome back. Hello, Hello, Hello. Oh, my goodness. How did that feel for you guys? A little break there to. To kind of just, you know, quiet your mind and think about things. Am I facing forward and backwards? Why do we want to face forward? I know I Didn't even, you know, really mention that because I guess. I guess I felt like it's kind of obvious. We face forward because that's where all the yummy stuff is, right? That's where the good stuff is. That's where we're going because there is where we have all of the power. When you face backwards, you lack or lose your power. You are looking at things that have already occurred. You no longer have power over those things, shaping them, creating them, being how you want to be inside of them. But when you're facing forward, you get to choose every moment. Here's how I'm going to be in this experience. Here's how I'm going to feel in this experience. Here's an experience I want more of. Yes. Okay, so we'll get back to this theme in just a minute, But I want to get somebody on here so I can give them something fun. Susan. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. How are you?

Hi. Good.

Great. Did you have a nice long weekend?

Yeah, I did. Oh, yeah. I got to go out and. And now walk around yesterday. It was a nice, cool day. So nice to be outside.

No. Where are you calling from?

Massachusetts.

Massachusetts. Oh, my. And you're. You're a student of mine or you were a student at one point, A me schooler?

I'm a former student, yes.

Wonderful. Well, it's nice to meet you and say hello to you again. I'm rummaging through my mind, trying to guess on the little information I have. And your voice. Well, what can I help you with? What's going on in your life right now? What do you want to share? What are you looking backwards about?

The backwards thing is that I'm 62 now. I got divorced eight and a half years ago. I'm happy to be divorced. It was turning into a not good situation, but I had stayed home with the kids after a certain point, and. And he was earning plenty of money. So when the divorce came along, I was supposed to be able to continue to stay home with the kids and get them through the transition. But he's very creative about not paying money. So it's just been eight and a half years of a lot of court, and we're back in that situation again, and I feel real stuck because I don't feel like I have the earning power to get my daughter through college at this point. My son kind of limped through, and I'm looking at a point where I don't really want to go out there and do full time. And I'm Actually not even working at this point. And I think it's like, yes, I would like to have a juicy future. And I just feel like it's. I'm just not getting there. I have a lot of fear around the money because, yeah, I feel like he's very deceptive and aggressive at the same time while appearing very cheerful.

Oh, boy. Those people who put on one face to the world and are a whole other way inside. I know. I kind of grew up with people like that. I know. I hear you.

Yeah.

So you, you feel to me kind of like, gosh, I kind of like talked about you, like, for half the show. You're like a bunch of these pieces.

All the perfect day all melded together.

You're like, that's why I called Summer. Okay. First thing I want to do, I.

Mean, I didn't even know what a perfect day it was going to be when I called.

Did Brian get your email so I can give you something?

Yes, he did. He did.

Wonderful. Okay, so after this is over, I'm going to send you a flow dream. Okay. It's going to help you kind of release and let go of a lot of this hurt, anger, frustration. Right. A lot of these heavy emotions, regret, anger that kind of keeps spinning through you right now. Like, you would go into your future, you would feel positive, but you feel like, I'm not allowed to let go of this yet because it's not justified for me to let go of it yet. The only way I can let go of it is if he stops doing it. But as long as he's doing it, I only have one response. And the justified response is to be angry and upset. Kind of. It's kind of logical, right?

Except have to keep going back and trying to somehow pull it back onto the road.

Yes. Yeah, but there's a pulling back on, which is, hey, this is just going to be part of what I have to do now. Right? I've got it. I'm doing it and I'm sailing through it. Okay? It's all about what's happening, the lightness in your heart as you sail through this. Because, you know, in creating and like manifesting, we can't ever make someone else do what we want them to do. As long as you're hinging your feelings and how you get to feel based on what he's doing, he's totally in power and he's totally got the control, he's going to be a jerk. And your response to that is, well, if he's going to be a jerk, Then I have to feel this way. Meaning he is the one who is still setting the tone.

Yeah, I do end up feeling bad, but it's more like, jeez, I have to do this again.

Yeah, I know. Getting him to help pay for the kids and the college, and I wish he wasn't. And, like, all of those feelings, and I have to do it again. I have to do it again. Now I'm angry. Now I'm pissed. Hmm.

And the court. I mean, I'm almost more disappointed in the court than in him because.

Okay, yeah.

Gosh, we're supposed to get this straightened out and.

Right.

It's.

So this is a disappointment with justice, and this is another way that I see people lose their power. I'm not saying that justice shouldn't be right and we shouldn't work to correct it. Absolutely we should. But when justice is wrong, we get angry. And then we decide, stay in a state of anger and disappointment and sadness. Basically, your heart has been broken because the law system has broken your heart. It wasn't what you were brought up to believe it was. You thought it was just and fair, and then you discovered, no, whoever has the most expensive lawyer wins. Right. But we're all taught to believe everything is just and fair. And particularly if I'm a good person, good, Just fair things will happen back to me. And when the universe breaks that promise with you, then we get piping mad because we say, I did all the right things and I'm treated like this, and he did all the wrong things, and he's sailing ahead with his, you know, second home and his new wife. Right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel less powerful and less confident.

And we want to stop giving all of those things in our past your power, period. They don't deserve them anymore. They don't need them anymore. Your ex doesn't need anything from you. Being angry. Being. Being justifiably angry at the law, at him, at the courts, at the judges, at the lawyers. If you look on balance, the positive thing that's done has made you fight for yourself and for your kids. The negative thing that it's done is worn you down to a little nub and pulled you back from really excelling in your own personal life. And you can tell because you don't want to go out and get a job because you're like, oh, jobs suck. That's 40 hours of my week that I'm going to hate. Right? This is based on backward experience. Instead of, God, I could be volunteering at a museum, and then they could hire me to run the gift shop and I could love every darn second of it. I don't know yet, but I might. Who knows what is out there for me that I might absolutely adore? I could be running a foster care system for old dogs. Something I would love to do, but. Right. Your mind isn't even like getting to that spot yet until all this release has to happen.

It's really hard to get into the. It's really hard to get into the. Well, I can't go too far in the future, but like. Yeah, I'm just. It's like I don't even think of things anymore.

Oh, I know. So this is what all of these feelings have really kind of robbed you from. So you have to. Thank you so much for calling. And you are like the perfect person for everybody else listening who's not sharing right now because they're like, oh, me too. I'm doing that too. I'm doing it too. So all of this can be like. Just look at it like you're turning a knob on the oven. You know, would you turn the stove off? You kind of check to make sure it's really, really off. If you're like me, this is what you're doing. You're turning this off, like dialing it off. And then the response instead is, I have a beautiful decade ahead of me. Possibly the best decade of my life. Happiest with my kids. My kids are the happiest. Maybe they're old enough now that they're going to meet their partners. Maybe they're going to graduate, they're going to get good jobs, get married, maybe have kids, and I get to be a grandma. And they love me and they are doing just fin on their own. And I find work that I absolutely love and adore. Maybe it's not 40 hours, maybe it's just enough. And I realize, God, this is the best decade. This is actually what I divorced for and I got it. And all the stuff I was looking for in the past, I don't need it from that anymore because I was trying to pull a beautiful thing out of something ugly for many years. No wonder I finally realized you can't pull the beautiful thing out of something ugly because it's an ugly thing. The beautiful thing has to be made in the future. That's what I'm doing now. You feel that?

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't tell you, but that was like a little flow energy thing I was doing. You can kind of tell because I go off, but that is your Next decade or two decades. Beautiful. Sitting on your porch, right? Watching the. Watching the sun go down, Hearing the crickets out outside, Kids coming over, maybe with their partners, maybe with their grandkids. Mom is so happy. I've never seen her so happy. The day she just let go of all that stuff, it's like, wow. She had tons of friends. She was going out to book clubs and bridge clubs and I don't know what you do, racing autos, whatever it may be. Wow. She just. She just. She just started living again because everything was ahead of her, and she started looking forward and feeling that, and then we were able to do that, too. And we stopped thinking about all the things we didn't get. And she stopped thinking about all the ways she had felt she'd failed. And that was the turning point for us. And here we are, and it's Thanksgiving, and we're all here, and you just have these tears of happiness in your eyes looking at your family. See that rich feeling like it gave me tears.

Yeah. It's a wonderful thing.

Yeah. Okay, Susan, so I'm going to send you a flow dream for releasing and letting go. So just look for it. We're going to just send it to you through email. You'll get it in your inbox, and I want you to practice it and let me know how you go. Let me know how things. Let me know if this just jogs your mind and shifts you. And thank you for calling. Thanks for talking with me, and I miss you. And I know you have all the tools because you were a past student, so you have what you need. Just blaze through this. No more hanging on no more hanging on. Okay.

Okay.

All right, my dear. Thank you. You take care. Bye.

Thank you. You, too. Bye.

Oh, wasn't she a doll for coming in and letting us, you know, just show. And that's the thing, you know, it doesn't. It's not intelligent. Susan is a very intelligent woman. It's not emotional maturity. She's an emotionally mature woman. We are intelligent. We are emotionally mature. That's one thing I learned. Actually, that was something that came out of being in a cult when I was a kid. An experience, a learning that came from that. My mom, our whole family got, you know, kind of railed or railed into one back in the 70s. Remember when cults were so big and popular in Heaven's Gate and all that? Well, we had one we were in. And one of the things I realized when I got older, and unfortunately, my mom was able to get us out of it. Others were not so lucky. But one thing I realized from that is you don't have to be dumb to be caught in things, right? My mom is a sharp cookie, you know, she sees things, she's very empathic, and yet it happens. We get drawn in, and then we just start swimming in circles. And you as a person, as an evolved being, have nothing that's irrelevant to it. So many of us can be stuck looking backwards in different ways. I realized this week, actually, that I was looking backwards on a certain particular thing that I've been trying to resolve in me. I won't go into it because I always talk about me. It happens to all of us. Unearth it, release it. Let it go. Okay, so I wanted to give us a little bit of time so we're not going to take more callers. That said, birthday week does keep continuing, so you guys can still call in, get lots of free yummy good stuff from people all week long. But for the next few minutes here, I want to take you on a little journey. Because we haven't done this in a while, right? Little journey into flow. So if you don't know what flow dreaming is, it is an emotional, energetic practice where we release into a state of flow. And this is a feeling of letting go, of drifting, feeling ourselves moving forward in space and time toward all good things, good things. Life is good. We are good. Everything is perfect and right. There's a path of ease and harmony and light. If there were God's footsteps, you would have found them and followed. Walked right in them, right? Nothing is bad here. Nothing is difficult here. There's no resistance here. And there is always a path like this out there for you. Life presents you with so many hundreds, thousands of possibilities at any given time. From the easiest to the hardest. You just open up and tap on the easiest. And you release into flow. And you daydream this in, right? You don't sit waiting for it to happen to you daydream it. Yeah, I feel this way. I'm feeling this way. Yep, I feel this way. Letting go, releasing, releasing into your future. And you see yourself now in your imagination. Your imagination is in a place called Sugar sand beach, one we know well. Flowing waters. Energies like waves crashing on the shore. Gently, the foamy edges coming up around your ankles. You walk in these sands. They're silver, they're beautiful. You leave footsteps one after another, and you see yourself heading toward a bright and beautiful light. That's your future. That's where you're going for a moment. You turn and you look behind you. All those footsteps, they've been washed away, washed away, washed away in the sand. Everything you have is right now. All your strength, all your beauty is right now in this moment. You glide, you fly, you're free. You are free. Hold that feeling. Let it just be in you even now as you come back and you return from flow. Opening your eyes. And there you have it, my friends, another beautiful episode of Flow Dreaming. I hope that helped you once more resolve, adjustments change something inside of you. And we'll do it all again next week when we're going to come back for yet another episode of Flow Dreaming. And yes, what is coming up next week? Goodness, I thought I had it right in front of me, but I don't seem to. So too bad for that. You're just going to have to find out by going to flowdreaming.com you can check it there and find out what will be exploring. It'll be something else in this special series. I have all kinds of stuff lined up, including some really amazing interviews coming your way in the weeks ahead. So stay with me and go to the Flow Dreaming shop. If you're curious about what we just did, that's again@flowdreaming.com and that's how we're going to have more fun together and more Flow Dreaming. I'm just like sitting here waiting for my music. It should happen anytime. I thought it was happening now, but apparently not. So yeah, while I wait, I'll just tell you one more time floatrooming.com and happy birthday and I hope you all have a blessed and totally beautiful week. That's it. Hey everyone, thanks for listening today. One request before you go. Please rate this podcast either in itunes or tunein.com or wherever you listen to it. It'll only take you a minute to do, but your rating there is the number one way that other people discover this show. And the more ratings, the more people who will find and get turned on to Flow Dreaming. While you're there, you might also want to download my free Flow Dreaming podcast app. With this app, you can listen to the show anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search through listings of all of my episodes and bookmark your favorites. And if you want to listen to Flow Dreams actual Flow Dreams on your phone, there's even another app. It's my player app and it will let you browse and sample Flow Dreams from the shop. There's even an oracle inside of that app to help you see and discover what you need to know. Most or what Flow Dream would be best for you in your life right now. You can find these apps on itunes or in Google or your Amazon App Store store. And again, thank you so, so, so much for giving back. Love you. Bye. Bye.